by Eric Vall
“Will that work?” the Sister of Lust continued. “The rules are completely different down here.”
“It’s just a mirror universe.” I shrugged. “Not to mention, purple Hellfire works the same here as it does in Hell or on Earth, so I don’t see why it wouldn’t grant us passage.”
“There’s only one way to find out,” Inpulsa announced as she stomped past us all. “Let’s get a move on!”
“I always love her gusto,” Libidine whispered with a giggle. “And I thought Cupi was supposed to be the bold one.”
I decast the purple wall from in front of Todd and let him move around freely. Instantly, the tiny imp surrounded himself with black Hellfire, rose up into the air, and then fluttered after the yellow-haired succubus.
“Looks like our team’s leaving,” I chuckled to Zilla. “Thank you for letting us travel through your realm. Again.”
“No thanks are necessary,” the Shadow Queen shook her head, “it’s the least I could do for my savior. Now, go and join your friends before they run into an Artemalum. Your imp friend might just soil himself if he sees one.”
I gave the dark-haired Caliginis a nod of gratitude, motioned for the rest of our strike team to follow, and then took off after Inpulsa and Todd. However, before I could get too far into my stride, I felt the large breasts of Libidine press up against my back and lift me off the ground.
“Just like old times, huh?” she chuckled. “I kinda missed being your pilot.”
“Hey,” I admitted with a shrug, “I’ll never complain when your body is pressed up this close to mine.”
With Gula carrying Sia, the seven of us soared through the air until we finally came to the raging rapids that separated the Fourth Circle from the Fifth. However, the usually deadly water was as calm as an alpine meadow on a crisp summer day. Even then, there were still signs of the original motion and chaos of the Fourth Circle. The torrents of water were frozen in time as if they were hit with one of Cupi’s blue spells, and the waves appeared to be widened to comically large levels.
“This makes our life a lot easier,” Gula admitted as she hovered over the small waterfall beyond the rapids with Sia in her grasp. “So, we just activate the coin and then float down like we’re moving through a door?”
“Let’s test that hypothesis,” I agreed as I pulled Charon’s coin from my belt.
Next, I summoned purple Hellfire into my hand, lit up the trinket with its glow, and then held my violet-colored fist out in front of me like I was holding a rosary.
Libidine slowly began to take us down the waterfall, into the darkness that covered the space below. Then, once we were firmly situated in the abyss, she moved us forward.
Suddenly, though, my fist slammed into a cold, slimy rock.
“What the fuck?” I gasped. “There’s a wall here!”
“Uhhhh, that’s not supposed to happen,” Todd whistled, “you sure you’re not just using it wrong?”
“It’s a coin, bro,” I shot back, “I’m not sure how you can even use one of these things wrong.”
“Perhaps you just need a boost?” Gula asked as she summoned brown flames to her hand.
“It’s worth a shot,” I called up to the curvy redhead. “Hit me with your best shot, Gula!”
“Fire awaaaaaaaaaay!” Todd cackled as Gula blasted her spell down onto our position.
The second the boosting magic hit my body, I commanded the purple Hellfire into my hand once more, and my entire fist glowed so intensely that the entirety of the cave around us became illuminated by its light.
But the wall was still there.
Gula released her enchantment, and I let out a grunt of frustration.
“Fucking Hell,” I grumbled.
“Could we blast the thing open?” Deja suggested. “Maybe the Fifth Circle’s on the other side of this wall?”
“We could try,” I admitted, “but we’d only get one shot. If we were wrong, the whole cave could come down on our heads.”
“Maybe there’s some sorta bizarro Charon down here?” Todd pondered aloud. “Ya know, a dude who looks the same, but has chalky white skin and talks like he couldn’t pass first grade.”
“Not a chance,” I sighed. “There’s nothing in the Shadow World but the Caliginis and various Shadow Beasts. You can keep the blue kryptonite in your pockets, I’m afraid.”
“Pfffft,” the imp scoffed, “you and I both know that shit ain’t real. Like there could ever be a bunch of magic deus ex machinas that are all different colors and affect things in different ways based on said color. Not a chance, bro.”
All of us stared at the imp in disbelief.
“Todd … ” I began.
“What?” The imp looked around in a panic as he picked at his teeth. “Do I still got some Darkfisk in there or something?”
“Tell us more about this ‘Kryptonite,’” Libidine implored. “How do the different colors work?”
“Well, ya got the green stuff that kills the Prime Earth Superman … ” the imp started, “then you got the blue stuff that kills Bizarro Superman. Buttttt, if Bizarro gets ahold of green kryptonite in our world, it has the opposite effect on him and actually makes him stronger.”
“The opposite effect … ” I mused. “That’s it! We’re in a mirror dimension, right?”
“Which means the environment will be affected by the opposite of what it normally is!” Gula gasped. “But what’s the opposite of purple Hellfire?”
Inpulsa swooped down, summoned her yellow spell into her hand, and held out her open palm.
“Yellow,” she grinned, “it’s the direct opposite on the color wheel. It’s also created by hatred, the stark contrast of protectiveness.”
“The emotion that creates purple flames,” I agreed.
I dropped the tiny trinket into Inpulsa’s hand and watched as she snatched it up, turned toward the wall of the cave, and then unleashed a mighty blast of yellow flames.
The second the spell struck the wall, it began to rumble and crack, and then it slowly split down the middle. A moment later, there was a collective gasp of surprise as the rocky structure pulled open to reveal the sprawling blue oceans of the Fifth Circle.
All seven of us passed through the opening as quickly as we could, and then the doorway closed behind us.
“What did I tell you?” Inpulsa smiled devilishly as she tried to hand the coin back to me.
“Oh, no,” I refused, “you hold onto that. We’re gonna need it at least three more times.”
Inpulsa pocketed the coin, and then the seven of us headed off toward our next location.
Thankfully, now that we knew what we were doing, the journey through the Fifth, Sixth, and Seventh Circles went as smooth as butter. We passed through the flaming waterfall of the Fifth Circle first and then on to the puzzle sarcophagus in the Sixth.
Inpulsa made short work of both of them with her yellow flames.
We were much more cautious as we moved through the Shadow World version of the Seventh Circle, though. Even though we knew Abaddon couldn’t see us, his larger-than-life presence hung over us the second we entered and made us proceed with caution.
Finally, after a long yet uneventful journey, Deja led us to a random spot in the flaming desert of the Seventh Circle.
“Here,” she explained as she pointed to the ground, “this is the backdoor entrance.”
“How can you be so sure?” Superbia questioned. “I don’t see anything here but sand.”
“Look closer,” Deja instructed, and then she began to kick away the gritty substance with her feet.
As the tan succubus brushed away the sand, she revealed a circular brimstone structure that almost looked like a manhole cover. It had a horn-shaped handle carved into its top, and the symbol on the front depicted some sort of cloud.
“How did you--” Libidine began, but Deja was quick to answer.
“I’ve snuck out of the Eighth Circle a million times,” the valley girl giggled, “I could total
ly find this place in my sleep. I will warn you, though … you’re gonna want your yellow Hellfire at the ready. The second I open this, you have to blast it straight down, and then we have to jump.”
“What happens if we don’t?” Gula asked.
“Just … jump,” Deja reiterated with a wince. “Try not to think about it.”
“Why would we even need to--”
In one swift motion, Deja reached down, grabbed the handle on the manhole cover, and yanked it open.
The second she did so, a giant, black cloud blasted out of the tunnel below and filled the sky with its cover. A loud, droning buzz accompanied the cloud, and I gasped when I realized what I was looking at.
It was a swarm of flies.
“Gogogogogo!” Deja demanded.
Inpulsa dashed over to the opening, shot a blast of her yellow Hellfire down into the hole, and then hopped inside in a flash.
Todd was next, followed immediately by Libidine and Gula.
Sia let out a scream as she leapt over the edge and plummeted down into the depths, and then her sound of panic fell silent.
Now, it was just me and Deja.
“Deja--” I began, but she wasn’t having any of it.
“Go, Jacob!” she ordered. “I’ll be right behind you!”
The swarm of flies continued to blast out of the hole, and it had now become so thick that I could barely see three feet in front of my face. I held my mouth closed as tightly as I could while the little fuckers flew around my head, and I nearly vomited when I felt their disgusting legs trying to crawl into my ear holes and nostrils.
I took a running jump at the manhole, flew over the side, and then saw nothing but an abyss of yellow flames below.
Welp, it was too late to turn back now.
My body became weightless as I plummeted downward, and the flies continued to swarm. Finally, I heard an electrical sizzle, and the world around me turned yellow.
The next thing I knew, I slammed down hard into rocky ground.
“Jakey!” Todd exclaimed as I felt his tiny hands wrap around my arm. “Great of you to drop by, bro.”
“Don’t … ” I warned as I pulled myself to my feet and brushed off the dust from my shoulders, “I’m really not in the mood for Dad Jokes right now.”
Suddenly, Deja’s figure appeared above us with a flash. The succubus caught herself on her bat-like wings, hovered downward, and then landed gracefully beside me.
“See?” she giggled. “That wasn’t so hard.”
“What was with all the bugs?” I gagged as I remembered the ordeal.
“Broooooo,” Todd facepalmed, “we gotta work on your paranormal knowledge when we get back. Maybe Mr. Tumnus can give you a one-on-one history lesson or some shit like that in exchange for a few empty cans.”
“Beelzebub is the Lord of the Flies,” Superbia reminded me, “a swarm of the horrid insects is a sign he is near.”
“Wait … ” I gasped as I looked around. “How close are we to--”
Then my mouth fell agape when I saw the castle.
There, on a large rock spire only a few hundred feet away, was a sprawling, cossack-style building.
Beelzebub’s castle.
“I told you I knew my way around here.” Deja smirked and propped her hand on her hip. “It would have been too dangerous to sneak all the way to the main entrance. I would have been caught by Maleboge for sure. Or at least caught by Geryon. He’s such a tattletale.”
“Uhhh, are those creatures we need to be worried about?” I asked.
“Not necessarily,” she admitted, “they are both guardians of this place, but they will only fight if provoked. Or if their master is slain.”
“Ah,” Todd noted, “so they’re sequel fodder. Got it.”
I took a minute to survey our surroundings, and it struck me just how massive the Eighth Circle was.
The entire landscape was made up of nothing but oversized stalagmites that stood hundreds of feet in the air and must have been a mile or so wide. Each one was connected by a rickety wooden bridge, and many of them were completely desolate. Below, I could see nothing but darkness.
“Welcome to my old home,” Deja sighed, “lovely, isn’t it?”
“It looks like just about any other Circle of Hell,” I joked, “but that’ll change once we get rid of the lanky bastard in charge.”
“My question is … where is Beelzebub’s army?” Sia pondered. “I thought he had thousands of soldiers, yet the area around his castle is completely desolate.”
“Maybe he was bluffing?” Inpulsa suggested.
“If only he’d be so bold,” Deja scoffed. “I’ve seen his army first hand, and it’s only grown with all the Daeva he’s recruited along the way.”
“Well, at least we have the element of surprise on our side,” I reminded them. “If we work fast enough, we can have the entire army on his doorstep before he even realizes.”
“What are we waiting for, then?” Inpulsa demanded. “Let’s go kick his ass!”
“I know exactly where he’ll be.” Deja smiled, and then she motioned for us to follow her.
We walked toward the castle, entered through its excessively-large double doors, and then sauntered through the courtyard. As we passed through the main entrance and foyer of the structure, I took a tighter grip on my sword.
I knew we were in the Shadow World, where we were hidden from the sight of the regular universe, but where were all the guards? Was Beelzebub really so cocky that he left himself wide open for an attack?
Either way, we were close to this fucker. I could feel it.
Finally, Deja stopped us in front of an onion-shaped threshold.
“Okay, Jacob,” she warned, “this is it. Beelzebub’s throne room. Do you think you’re ready for this?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I admitted. “Gula, remember the plan. The second we arrive back in the real world, you hit me with your boost, and I’ll call the rest of our army to our position.”
“What about Lilith’s team?” Libidine gasped. “According to my calculations, we’ve beat them here by nearly an hour, thanks to the shortcut we took.”
“They’re not too far behind,” I noted, “they’ll join the battle when they get here. We can’t sit around and wait, though. Not while we have this bastard right where we want him.”
“Ohhhhh,” Todd giggled, “Scully and Cupi are totally gonna Helms Deep this battle, aren’t they? That’d be badass as fuck, bro.”
“Let’s do this,” I said with a sigh and drew the Unhallowed Sword from its sheath.
Then all seven of us entered the throne room, and that’s when my blood began to boil.
There, sitting in a large, brimstone, jewel-encrusted throne, was Beelzebub. His scaly black wings were draped over his body like a snakeskin cloak, and his dark green face was contorted into a shit-eating grin. The fucker must have had somebody to polish his horns, too, because they were nearly blinding in the limited light of the Shadow World.
“I’m ready whenever you are,” Gula announced, and then I heard her summon Hellfire into her hands.
“Alright … ” I said as I took a deep breath. “On three. One … Two … Three!”
I summoned black Hellfire into my hands, shot it around my friends, and then commanded that we be taken out of the Shadow World. Our bodies went weightless for a split second as we traveled through space and time, but then my metal boots clanged against the ground of the throne room.
Beelzebub’s figure became animated, and his eyes went wide with surprise.
“Ralston!” he sneered as he stood up, but I was ready.
I felt a surge of energy as Gula’s brown Hellfire engulfed my body, and then I raised my flaming black hand to the sky as I pictured the rest of my army in my head. The ground seemed to rumble beneath us as I transported the hundreds of soldiers and generals across the dimensions, and I felt blood dripping from my nose.
Even with Gula’s boost, this was a lot of fucking
stress on my body.
Suddenly, I heard a commotion from outside, the sound of cheers, followed by a battle cry of “For Wrath! For Ruin!”
“I taught ‘em that one, Jakey,” Todd snickered. “I’m so proud.”
Finally, once I knew my army was safely outside, I deactivated my spell and fell down on my knees. I couldn’t stay there for long, however, as Beelzebub was already on his feet and aiming his bow at me.
I quickly dispelled his shot with my purple Hellfire, and then I pulled myself back upright as blasts of yellow, red, and black rocketed through the air toward our opponent.
Beelzebub quickly wrapped his magic-proof wings around his body as the spells struck him, and each one bounced off harmlessly.
“Jacob Ralston,” he growled, “I certainly didn’t expect to see you here. My spies told me your army was currently still in the Seventh Circle.”
“Surprise, mothafucker!” Todd mocked.
“My whole army is here, Beelzebub,” I warned as I wiped the blood away from my nose. “It’s over. Maybe if you surrender now, I’ll make your execution as painless as possible. Maybe.”
The Lord of the Flies just smiled and clicked his tongue.
“Jacob, Jacob, Jacob … ” he sighed, “such overconfidence. Did you really think that I’d leave myself completely unguarded?”
The Lord of the Flies materialized his bow and arrow out of thin air, aimed it toward the sky, and then fired off a single shot. It passed through the roof as if it wasn’t even there, and then the arrow exploded into a small fireworks show up above.
Meanwhile, our entire team began to assault this guy with everything we had. Yet, Beelzebub’s thick wings were impenetrable from afar.
“How about you put down those wings and fight us like a man?” Inpulsa mocked. “Or are you gonna keep pussying out like the little bitch you are?”
“I like this one,” Beelzebub sneered. “New addition? I’m just evening the odds, my dear.”
“Evening the odds?” Sia asked, and her face creased with a frown. “But how--”
Suddenly, I heard the sound of rumbling coming from outside. Then the earth beneath us shook, accompanied by the sounds of falling rocks and strange, nasally growls.
