by Angela Blake
“You self-entitled jackass. Did you honestly think that you could get away with this? I’m a human being, not some commodity to be bought, or somebody to be used and tossed aside when you are done. I don’t know what kind of sick mind you have that would make you think that it’s ever okay to force yourself on a woman just because she’s dressed a certain way. That makes you an animal not a man.” She felt a pair of arms go around her, and she began kicking. “You freaking coward!”
She was dragged outside by a pair of arms that were much stronger than hers, and as she struggled to get out of their grasp, she noticed that her assailant had his hand around her mouth. She opened her mouth and dug her teeth in as hard as she could.
Her assailant shouted as he pulled his hand away allowing her to break free. She wheeled around, ready to land in another punch, when all of a sudden her entire body froze. Her brain wasn’t quite catching up to what her eyes were seeing.
He didn’t look all that different. His hair was a bit longer, but he still had the same scar on his right eye. His pants were rolled up around the ankles, and his shirt had the first 2 buttons popped open. His white shirt had smudges all over it, and his hair stuck up in tufts on his head.
“Julie.”
The sound of his voice snapped her out of her state of shock as every single nerve in her body began to come back online. Her foot took one step forward of its own accord, and she tried to unglue her mouth with the help of her tongue.
“Chace,” she said weakly as it fully dawned on her that she was standing in front of her ex.
Chapter Four
“What are you doing here?” Julie asked as she subconsciously took a step backwards, hastily lifting her shoulder strap. She had envisioned this meeting happening so many times in her head. There were so many nights when she pictured him so clearly, that she could almost feel him. She could almost smell him, she could almost hear the sound of his deep voice sending shivers up and down her spine the way it used to. She always said that his voice sounded husky, like he just woke up, and it was always sexy as hell.
Hearing his voice again after all this time was taking her back in time. She shook her head as she noticed that Chace’s lips were moving, but she hadn’t heard a word he said. It was like she was submerged underwater; all the sounds around her were amplified, but she couldn’t actually make out what was being said. The words sounded like they were garbled.
“I’m sorry, what?” Her voice sounded strange to her own ears. It sounded forced, strangled, almost like she was choking back every word she’d ever wanted to say to him.
“I said, I was invited to the wedding,” Chace repeated as he stared at her curiously. “You don’t look so good, Julie. Do you want to sit down?”
Julie blinked. “No, no, I’m fine.” She lurched forward, and Chace held out a hand to stop her. She gazed up at him. “Maybe I should sit down. Just for a minute.”
With that, she plopped down, right where she was standing. Chace held back a laugh as he sat down across from her, careful to keep a few feet of distance between them. The blood came rushing back in her head, and she started to feel a bit better now that she was off her feet.
“You know the groom?” Julie asked as she toyed with a loose strand of cloth.
“Yeah, Joshua and I were good mates back in college. We lost touch for a while, and reconnected recently.”
Julie nodded. “That’s cool.”
Chace gestured towards her. “What about you? I’m assuming you know Melody.”
“Yeah, you’d be right about that. We’re not that close, but Melody is pretty cool.”
They lapsed into silence as they let the sounds of the night envelope them in a cocoon of warmth, sheltered from the outside world. Julie could just barely make out the smell of freshly cut grass, peonies, and the smell of the crisp night air. She gulped in a lungful of air as she tried to clear away the haze in her brain.
Chace leaned forward and pressed his hand to her forehead. Julie looked at him questioningly. “What are you doing?”
“I thought you might be feverish. It’s good to see that you aren’t.” Chace shrugged as he hurriedly pulled his hand away.
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
Chace looked startled for a moment before his face returned to its mask of smooth indifference. “Why wouldn’t I be? You looked like you needed a little help in there.”
Julie crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, I didn’t. I had it under control.”
An amused grin tugged at the corner of his lips. “I could see that obviously, but I didn’t mean help in that way. I meant help cooling off. I’ve never seen a woman hit a guy like that by the way. That was bad ass.”
Julie smiled sheepishly. “Oh, thanks.” She uncrossed her arms from her chest, and awkwardly let them dangle by her side. “I appreciate that actually.”
Chace lifted his shoulders up then let them fall back down. “No worries.”
“Chace.” Julie stared at the floor. “You don’t have to be so nice to me, really. I know that I don’t deserve it.”
“Because of what happened between us?”
“Well…yeah. I broke your heart, Chace. What I did was horrible. I shouldn’t have done it, and I’m really sorry about it, but I honestly don’t think there are enough words in the universe to encompass how sorry I am.”
“I know,” he said quietly.
Julie’s head snapped up. “You do?”
“I’m not saying that what you did was okay, but I saw things more clearly after we broke up. I know that I played a part in our break up too. It takes two to tango, and it takes two to stop.”
“Oh,” Julie responded, unsure of what to say.
She took a deep breath and exhaled harshly. “I know that you pushed me away, Chace, but that didn’t give me the right to seek comfort in someone else’s arms. I never meant for it to turn out that way. At first, he was just someone to talk to, especially when you were gone for a really long time, but when I lost my grandma, and you weren’t there, I couldn’t deal with it. I never should’ve let him kiss me Chace, no matter how I felt about my grandma’s death, or about you, or about us.”
Chace sighed. “You shouldn’t have, you’re right, but I also know that I shut you out. I didn’t know how to deal with your grief, I didn’t know what to say to make it better, so it was easier to just pretend that I was caught up in work to cover up for the fact that it was killing me inside to see you like this, and I wish I had told you all of this before.”
Julie gave him a sad smile. “I wish you had told me too.”
“I was angry for such a long time Jules,” Chace said as he looked up at the night sky. “I wanted so badly to hate you, and for a minute there, I almost had myself convinced that I did. It’s easier to blame other people than it is to find a flaw in yourself. I needed to own up to that.”
“It’s okay, Chace.”
Chace’s eyes wandered back to hers, and they gazed into each other’s eyes for a moment.
“I appreciate the fact that you want to share the blame, but I let it go too far. I made the conscious decision that destroyed us, and I wish more than anything in this world that I could take it back because I miss you every day.”
Chace shook his head. “Julie, I—“
Julie held up her hand. “Please. Just let me finish. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss you, that I don’t think about you, or what you’d say about a certain thing. I miss your laugh, your smile, and the way you’d shake your head at my antics. I miss you so much that there are days I lay in bed, and I wonder how I’m supposed to get up and go about my day like I usually do. Because missing you is agonizing and unbearable, and not missing you? That’s just unthinkable. I know that what I did was horrible, and I don’t know if you can ever forgive me much less sit there in front of me right now telling me that you understand.”
Julie paused and took a deep breath as the words came tumbling out of her, like a dam that had
finally come undone. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness Chace, but by God, if I could just have one more chance with you, I’d fight like hell. I wouldn’t let your fears, and my insecurities shake us because you are worth it. You have always been worth it. You are the only man on the face of this Earth who saw me, the real me, flaws and all, and you didn’t run, and that—with all said and done—is worth everything.”
Chace studied her for a moment. “I don’t understand.”
“I want you back, Chace. I know that you might not think it’s a good idea to trust me again, but I’m asking you if it’s possible for me to win you back because if it is, then I’m going to grab onto that chance with everything in me.”
Chace opened and closed his mouth several times. “I—I don’t know what to say.”
Julie’s heart plummeted in her chest, but she refused to give up hope. “I’ve been thinking about what I’d say to you if I ever saw you again, and I had this entire speech mapped out in my head; what I was going to say, how you’d react, and how eventually we’d find a way back to each other, and I believe that. I do believe that we will. I just want to know if you believe it too.”
Chace dragged a hand through his hair. “Jules, I--I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say here, but I do know the difference between what my heart is telling me, and what my head is screaming at me. My head is telling me to turn tails and bolt because I don’t ever want to be put in a position where I have to face that kind of pain again, but my heart—“
He stopped and took her hand in his. He brought it up to his chest, and placed it right where his heart was. Julie felt it beat wildly beneath her palm, its steady beat reminding her of her own heart; moving at the same pace, as if they were somehow in sync.
“You never left my heart, Julie. You’ve always been there, you will probably always be there. You’ve everything I’ve ever wanted, and everything I’ve dared to only dream about, and suddenly you were there, and I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I could never be worthy of you.”
Chace expelled a harsh breath as he continued, “And I’ve missed you too, Jules. God, I’ve missed you. I want to be with you again Julie.”
With that, he brought his mouth closer to hers, and his lips came crashing down on hers. Julie felt the shock register through her body. The fact that he was kissing her was too real and vivid to be a dream, but it wasn’t until she felt herself respond, that all the feelings came rushing into her, all at once.
She moaned as her body automatically pushed itself closer to him, like it used to. She ran her hands up and down his back, feeling the smooth planes she once knew like the back of her hand. Her breathing became shallow as Chace’s hands traveled down her lower back, and back up again to cup her neck. He bit down gently on her lower lip until Julie gasped.
His tongue plunged into her mouth, and Julie titled her head to allow him better access as she wrapped her legs around his waist and grinded. Chace growled in the back of his throat as his hands moved down her neck and lay atop her breasts.
Julie whimpered as she pushed her breasts into his hands as she felt the fire in her body, the need for him to touch her everywhere, skyrocket. Chace began toying with her breasts over the edge of her chest, while the other hand traveled down and lay atop her crotch.
Julie took his bottom lip between her teeth and bit down until Chace was smiling against her lips. One hand stayed on the nape of his neck, while the other traveled down the edge of his shirt. Her hand paused and toyed with the tuft of hair exposed because of the undone buttons, before it moved down his happy trail, and stopped. She palmed him over the top of his trousers and gently squeezed. Chace panted as his hips bucked against her hand. His hands began to frantically move across her body until they slipped the straps of her dress down, and her breasts came spilling forward.
His eyes darkened as he noticed that Julie wasn’t wearing a bra. “You’re not wearing a bra.”
“It didn’t go with the dress,” she murmured.
“How fortunate for me, then,” he mumbled huskily as he lowered his mouth to her breasts.
Julie arched her neck. “Chace, Chace!”
He made a non-committal noise in the back of his throat as a response.
“Chace, you need to stop for a second, I need to tell you something.”
Chace froze, and he gazed up at her, his expression unreadable. “Now?”
“Yes,” Julie responded, apologetically.
Chace’s jaw tightened as he tried to get himself under control. He released a deep breath before he pulled back and looked at her. “What’s wrong?”
“Chace, I know that I said I want to be with you, but it isn’t as simple as that.”
Chace’s eyebrow shot up. “It isn’t?”
Julie bit her bottom lip. “I don’t know, but it doesn’t seem like it is.”
Chace gave her a soft smile. “Julie, I know that you’re scared, and I know that we’ve hurt each other before, but that doesn’t mean that we’ll hurt each other again. Just because we want to try again doesn’t mean we’ll mess up. We know what to avoid this time around.”
“Do you think we do? I mean wanting to be together because we love each other isn’t enough. We need more than that. We need to be able to trust each other. Do you think we can do that?”
Chace took her hand in his, and placed a soft kiss on her palm. “I want to do that, and as long as we both stay, and we’re both willing to try, then there’s no reason we can’t make each other happy. I won’t make the same mistakes, Julie.”
He let his finger rest under her chin, and he pulled it up, so he was looking directly into her eyes. “Julie, I know that I’m not always the best person when it comes to sharing. I know that I have a hard time opening up to people, even if it’s somebody that I love, and I know that it’s not just about the fact that I can’t open up easily, but it’s also about the fact that I shut down and detach. I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been for you, not being able to reach me. Not being able to talk to me about the things that were bothering you. I wasn’t there for you, and for that, I am sorry.”
Her bottom lip trembled as she gave him a watery smile. “Chace, it’s okay. All I’ve ever wanted for you is for you to be happy. To be with someone you can love and trust completely, and I had hoped to be that person.”
Chace touched her bottom lip. “Don’t wish for that.”
Julie stared at him in confusion.
“You already are that person, Jules,” he clarified.
“Chace Mathews, do you want to try again with me?” Julie asked, hope lacing her tone.
“Julie Evans, I thought you’d never ask.” He grinned as he pressed his lips to hers for a sweet kiss. The kiss turned heated once more as their hands began moving with a fevered urgency. His hands immediately moved to her breasts to tweak her nipples, and her hands immediately moved to the buttons of his trousers. She began to fumble with the buttons, and she growled in frustration when she couldn’t do it.
She temporarily abandoned her mission, and instead moved her hands to his back. Her hands snaked under his shirt, and she began to lightly graze her fingers over his bare skin, causing ripples of pleasure to shoot up and down his back. She lightly traced the muscles on his back until she moved to his shoulders. She began massaging them until she felt him tremble beneath her touch.
His hands moved to her legs, and he began rubbing his hands up and down her thighs causing shivers of pleasure to ricochet throughout her body. She murmured in pleasure as her hands dug into his back causing him to emit a soft hiss of pleasure. He pressed himself to her, so that there was not an inch of space between them, and their bodies heaved in exertion. She wrapped her legs around his waist and squeezed. When they began grinding against each other, their breathing became louder until finally, they had to wrench their lips away just to be able to breathe.
“I think we’d better take this somewhere a bit more private, unless you want to have an audience,” he mumbled int
o her shoulder.
Dazed, Julie looked up over his shoulder, and she suddenly remembered that they were still at the wedding. The noises from the dance floor reached her ears, and she suddenly began to laugh. “I completely forgot where we were.”
Chace leaned back and placed a quick kiss on her forehead before he did up the buttons on his shirt. He stood up and held out his hand to Julie who fixed the straps on her dress before she also stood up.
She slipped her hand into his, and she smiled at the sight of their hands, intertwined once more.
“I’m going to go tell Melissa that I’m leaving. I’ll meet you out front in 5.”
Chace nodded, and they both released hands as they made their way back into the wedding. Julie made her way in and out of the throngs of people, looking for Melissa or Ned. She caught sight of Ned’s towering frame, standing off to the side, bobbing his head along to the music.
She cut through the mass of people and made a beeline for Ned who looked startled when she called his name.
“Jesus Jules! You scared me. Don’t just sneak up on a guy like that, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”
She gave him an apologetic smile. “Sorry Ned. Listen, have you seen Melissa anywhere? I wanted to tell her that I’m going to take off.”
“She went off somewhere with a friend to gossip, I don’t know. Do you need me to give you a ride home?”
Julie shook her head. “No, that’s okay. I can manage.”
“Okay, I’ll let her know then. Stay safe, Jules.”
Julie gave him a smile before she went to go fetch her purse and shoes. She slipped her shoes on and hurriedly made her way out the door, wondering if maybe Chace had changed his mind, but he hadn’t; he was standing there, right where he said he’d meet her, and her heart nervously skipped a beat.
He led her to the car and opened the door for her. He went around to the other side and slid in. He gave her a smile as he switched on the ignition. “My place or yours?”
