by Amare, Mercy
“Why do you think he did it?” I ask Tristan.
“Overdose on drugs? I don’t know,” he answers. “There could be a lot of things… depression, maybe?”
Oh my God. That thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. “You think he overdosed on purpose?”
Tristan’s eyes get big, and I can tell he realizes that he said the wrong thing. “Well, no. It could have been on accident. Like I said, I guess we won’t really know until we get there. You should just relax for now.”
I lay back in my seat as the plane takes off. I do need to just relax. Right now, the situation is completely out of my control. I send up a prayer for Aaron. Now all I can do is hope for the best.
8am
Mad.
Against all odds, I actually did fall asleep before we even got into the air. It’s probably a good thing, because I am not going to leave Aaron’s side until he wakes up, so I’m probably not going to get much sleep.
We arrive at the hospital right around eight in the morning. Both of Aaron’s dads are in the waiting room.
“How is he?” I ask them.
“We don’t know yet,” Jordan tells me. “He took some kind of drug…”
“Speed,” John reminds him.
“Right,” he says. “And I guess he has too much, because his heart completely stopped. He was out for quite a few minutes before he was resuscitated, so we won’t know how bad it is until he wakes up.”
“If he wakes up,” John says. “I’ll be honest, it’s pretty bad.”
I sink down into a nearby chair. My legs will no longer support my weight. “I had no idea he was on drugs,” I tell them. “What kind of best friend doesn’t know that her best friend is using drugs? I mean, I knew about the pot, but I had no idea he was using harder stuff.”
“You were over one thousand miles away.” Jordan takes a seat beside me, and puts his arm around my shoulder. “How could you know, sweetie?”
I sigh. “I don’t know. I knew he was acting different, but I had no clue why. And when he came to visit he left early. Do you think he left because he needed drugs? I should have known then, and I should have known when he wasn’t answering any of my phone calls. I should have called you two and told you that he was acting different.”
“You can’t blame yourself,” John says, taking a seat on the other side of me. “You had just moved, and your friendship had changed. You really had no idea what normal was when you were so far away.”
He is right. But I am pathetic. Aaron’s dads are comforting me when I should be comforting them. “How are you two doing?”
“Well, I’ve been better,” Jordan says. “We both knew that something was up, but Aaron is eighteen. We didn’t want to interfere. We were just happy he was staying at home while he’s in college. But he really hasn’t been the same since you left.”
“You were always such a good influence on him,” John says. “Without you, I believe this could have happened a lot sooner.”
Just then, the doctor comes around the corer. “Mr. Rouse?”
Both John and Jordan stand up.
“Aaron is awake now,” the doctor says. “He wants to see you.”
I sigh in relief. He’s awake. And he’s not dead.
“Come back with us,” Jordan says, grabbing my hand. “He will be a lot happier to see you than he will be to see us.”
I follow them to his room leaving Tristan, Candice, and Christian in the waiting room. I’d really like to take Tristan with me for support, but I am pretty sure that Tristan is the last person that Aaron wants to see right now.
When we walk into the room, I can’t help but feel scared. I’ve never seen Aaron look like this. He’s pale — really pale. He has lost a lot of weight, and he has black circles under his eyes. It breaks my heart to see him like this.
“Char.” His voice is weak, but his face lights up as he sees me.
I stand by his bed, and grab his hand. “I’m so glad you’re alright. I was worried about you.”
“So you know what happened?” he asks.
“You we’re an idiot. And you took drugs. Not only did you take drugs, but you overdosed on them.” My voice breaks. “I am so mad at you right now.”
His head drops just a little. “I know. I screwed up. I’m sorry, Char. I hate that you have to see me like this.”
I can’t stay mad at him. Especially since he needs me right now. “I just want you to get better, okay? Then you’re going to enroll at college in New York City so we can be close to each other. I’m so not having this happen again.”
“I think maybe I do need you to watch after me. I obviously can’t handle living over a thousand miles from my best friend.”
I look and see Jordan and John are standing on the other side of Aaron’s bed. “I’m going to give you and your dads some privacy. I’ll be in the waiting room.”
I walk out of the room and back down to the waiting room. I tell everybody how Aaron is doing, and Tristan holds me, which is exactly what I need.
1pm
Non-home.
Aaron won’t be released from the hospital for a few days. We all decide to stay the night in Malibu and head back to NYC tomorrow. I want to stay one more night in case something happens. The doctors are confident that he will be fine, but since he died they want to monitor him.
Aaron’s doctor told him that he was ‘very lucky’. He was out for so long that there could have been brain damage… And he’s lucky that they could even resuscitate him. Most people who overdose on drugs aren’t so lucky. After the doctor told him that, I told Aaron that he was given a second chance for a reason, and he better not blow it. At that point he decided to give up all drugs — even weed. He’s going to live a clean lifestyle, and he is going to apply for NYU in the fall. I told him to apply at Columbia so we could be in school together next year, and he laughed. He said that I was lucky he was even coming to New York City, but he’s definitely not going to an Ivy League school. I am just happy that my best friend is moving to New York City next year. I’ll take what I can get.
When we pull up to my mom’s house in Malibu, for a moment I feel sad. For so long, this was my home. Part of me misses being in California. I made a lot of really good memories here, and had a lot of amazing friends. But in some ways, I was always destined to be in New York.
“Nice house,” Tristan says as we get out.
“This house is a baby house compared to your dad’s beach house in the Hamptons,” I say.
“The key word being my dad’s house. I don’t have to have a mansion to be happy. This house is perfect.”
My mom’s beach house really is perfect. I grew up here, and I have a lot of really great memories. It really isn’t all that small. It was big enough for Mom, Chloe, Candice, and I. We never got in each others way, and I never had to share a room. Plus, it’s right on the beach. What more could I ask for?
“I’d definitely love to live on the beach again after I graduate college.”
“What do you think of Miami?” he asks.
I think about it for a minute. Miami has a little bit of everything — city and beach. Of course the humidity sucks, but I could get used to that. “I think I would be okay living in Miami. I could still surf, even though the waves aren’t as big as they are in Cali.”
“But the water is warmer,” he says.
“True.” And I could probably surf almost year round. Not that it matters. Tristan could move to the desert, or to the mountains, or even the moon, and I would gladly follow him. But I’m not telling him that.
We walk in the house, and Christian makes himself right at home. He heads out to the beach. My mom isn’t home right now, but she said she would be soon. I am kind of excited to see her. I have missed her a lot.
“I want to see your room,” Tristan says.
And I’m liking the sound of this. I lead him up the stairs to my room, which is just as I left it. The walls are very pink and I have a ton of stuffed animals, which I am a lit
tle embarrassed about. One wall is covered from top to bottom in pictures of me and my friends. Tristan walks to the wall and starts looking at them, which concerns me. I didn’t tear down any of the pictures of Landon and me.
“Is that your ex-boyfriend?” Tristan asks, pointing to a picture of Landon and me kissing.
I feel my face grow warm. “That would be him.” I grab the picture off the wall. “Sorry, I didn’t have time to take down the pictures of him before I left. It was kind of a rushed thing. I barely even had time to pack.”
“I’m not mad that you had a boyfriend before,” he says. “It would be stupid of me to think that the girl I am with has only ever been with me. Especially considering I’ve been with other girls before.”
“How many other girls?”
He laughs, but doesn’t answer.
“You technically haven’t been with me yet,” I say.
“But I will be. Soon.”
“Nine more days.” Yep, I’m still counting.
“Who says I won’t make you wait another month?”
“I’m pretty sure that you can’t resist me another month.” Or at least I’m hoping he can’t. Because I’m about to go crazy as it is. I definitely couldn’t handle another month of waiting.
“You’re probably right.”
Phew.
My door opens and I see my mom stick her head in. She’s looking at Tristan. “Who is your friend?”
I’ve been gone two months, and she greets me by asking about Tristan. “This is Tristan Becker. My boyfriend.”
She smiles at Tristan, and then winks at me. “You didn’t tell me that you had a boyfriend. Or that he was so hot.”
Tristan looks uncomfortable, and I am completely embarrassed by my mom. Does she really have to act like that? Aaron was used to it, but this is Tristan’s first time meeting her. God, I hope he doesn’t think I’m anything like her. “Mom, don’t call my boyfriend hot.”
She rolls her eyes. “Well he is. And you know it. You’ve got him all locked up in your bedroom.”
Don’t I wish I had him locked up. “Don’t you have anything to say to me?”
She looks at me for a second. “Umm… Not really…”
“It’s September twenty-second.”
She just stands there.
“Eighteen years ago today you pushed me out of your vagina. Ring a bell?”
“Oh right! Happy birthday, Charlotte,” she says. “I would get you a present, but you’re living in New York City now, and what I want to get you wouldn’t do you much good up there. But you know, if you moved back home now I could go ahead and buy it for you.”
Yep, of course she would turn this back on herself. “Mom, I’m not moving back.”
She pouts. “You will eventually change your mind. I just hope you do before your chance has come and gone. There are so many opportunities for you here.”
“Opportunities for me or you?” I ask. “And Candice told me about how she was in the hospital and you didn’t come.”
Mom’s face drops. “I know I should have been there, but you don’t know all the circumstances. You should just stay out of things that you know nothing about. This is between Candice and me.”
And there you have it — shut down, and avoided. But it isn’t between me and her. It’s between Candice and her, she’s right about that. “Fine. It isn’t my business. But our relationship really isn’t so great either. You keep pushing me to be this perfect daughter. You want me to live your dreams. That’s not what I want, Mom. I want to go to college. And I want to do something with my life that doesn’t involve acting. Why can’t you just be happy for me?”
“Because I don’t understand. Why are you going to college when you don’t need to? You could do so much better for yourself if you become an actress. Candice makes one hundred thousand an episode for being on Shores of Malibu, and she does thirteen episodes a season, that’s twenty six a year. She’s making over a million dollars just being on the show. That doesn’t include all the other stuff she does on the side. You on the other hand will be going to school for four years, and won’t even be making half of what she does. Why would you want to go to school?” she asks.
“I think it’s great that Candice has done so well. But being an actress isn’t what I want,” I tell her. I am praying that she is actually hearing what I’m saying. “I want to go to college. So what if I don’t live in a beach house in Malibu. So what if I can’t afford a Bentley. It’s what I want, and it’s what I will be happy doing.”
I see my mom’s face soften. “Okay, Charlotte. If it really means that much to you, I will support you no matter what. I just want what’s best for you.”
“I know, Mom.” I put my arms around her. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she says.
I can’t remember the last time I hugged my mom. This feels good. And suddenly, all is right in the world. I just wish I would have told my mom this a long time ago.
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 2
2pm
You’ve got mail
Today is the day… Tristan and I have officially been dating one month. Which means we can finally have sex. The month of waiting has been torture, but now that it’s here I know that it was worth the wait.
And now I just have to wait five more hours until Tristan get’s here.
My phone buzzes with a text from Aaron. He’s been texting me everyday since he was released from the hospital. He has stayed clean, and even joined a support group. He has even apologized for how he acted when he came up for Labor Day. I’m just glad to have my Aaron back.
Aaron: So, your dad is some kind of miracle worker, because I get to start at NYU in January!
I smile at the text. Dad still isn’t Aaron’s biggest fan, but he knows I’m in love with Tristan. Nothing will happen between Aaron and me. He decided to help Aaron out, and I’m so glad he did. Now him and Candice will be attending the same college in January.
Me: That’s great news! :) Congratulations!
When I get home, dad is waiting for me in the living room. “You’ve got mail.” He hands me a large manilla envelope. It’s from Columbia.
“Oh my God!” I sit the envelope down on the table and pace back and forth. “What if it’s a rejection?”
“They don’t send rejections out this early,” he tells me. “Or acceptances for that matter.”
He’s right, I shouldn’t have this letter yet. It’s probably just more info on the school. I open the envelope and pull out the papers. I quickly glance over the letter and let out a little squeal. “Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! I got in!”
“That’s great,” my dad says.
I look at him. “Did you handle anybody’s divorce at Columbia? Is that why I got early admissions?”
“Nope,” he answers. “Well, I’m not sure. I think I handled one of the professor’s divorces… No wait… I handled his wife’s case. Whatever you do, don’t take Dr. Dungmann’s class. I have a feeling that he won’t like you very much. I heard his class was pretty boring anyway…”
“If you didn’t get me in, then how did I get in?” I ask.
“Well, you are going to the most esteemed prep school in New York City that money can buy. Plus, you make excellent grades.”
“So I did this all by myself?”
“Yep.”
Well, sort of all by myself. I’ve went to a private school my whole life, so I guess I can thank my dad for that, seeing as how he’s been the one to pay for my schooling. If it were up to my mom, she would’ve sent me to a public school. I don’t really have anything against public school, but I have a feeling it would’ve been crazy there considering who my sisters are.
But I did get the grades all on my own. I can thank my dad’s good genes I suppose, because I haven’t really studied all that hard. I’ve always done all my homework, and I always turn my work in on time. And I do study for upcoming tests. And by study I actually mean I glance through the chapter or notes the test
is on for about thirty minutes.
I take a picture of my acceptance letter and send it to Tristan. A few seconds later, my phone buzzes.
Tristan: AMAZING! I didn’t get my acceptance letter until March. Your application must have blown them away ;) Congrats! I can’t wait to have you on campus with me!
Me: Thanks! Can’t wait to see you tonight.
Tristan: Happy one month anniversary. See you soon.
I put away my phone, and continue my happy dance. Then I text everybody: Mom, Chloe, Candice, Layla, Christian, Aaron, and even Landon. Because I am that excited. I get a ton of congratulations texts. But the text from mom surprises me the most.
Mom: I’m so proud of you!
I almost cry when I read that, because for once in my life, my mom is proud of me.
I actually feel like my life is coming together. Both of my parents are a part of my life, my sisters and I are finally getting along for the first time in a long time, I’m living in the greatest city in the world, I have a perfect boyfriend, and in a few short months my best friend will be moving here. What more could I ask for? Well, other than New York City be moved to the West Coast. But, despite missing the waves in California, I am thinking that I like New York better. We actually have weather here. And hoodies are so comfortable to wear. Who knew?
Friday we had our appointment at Vera Wang. I adore the red dresses that Chloe picked out for Candi and me to wear. When Chloe tried on her dress, we all cried. I still can’t believe my big sister is getting married. The dress was perfect. She’s going to get fitted for it the week of her wedding since she is currently expanding. You can’t tell she’s pregnant yet, but by her wedding in December she’ll probably have a small baby bump.
