by Aspen Drake
“But Dadd—”
“Now!”
She looks back at JR then slowly shuffles back to me.
“Do you know what you just did?”
She shrugs but doesn’t make eye contact.
“Isla Amelia Collins, look at me when I’m speaking to you.”
JR closes the door to his car and slowly walks up behind our daughter. I don’t even spare him an acknowledging glance. My focus is wholly on my little girl.
“What’s wrong?” JR is about a foot behind her but he doesn’t step in to save her. At least he has some common sense. Stepping in front of a mama bear trying to discipline her cub would be less dangerous at this moment.
“I dunno.” Isla glances up at me, and I know she knows exactly what she did.
“Yes, you do know, young lady. You broke two of the most important rules of this house. Do you want to tell your father what they are?”
Isla shakes her head.
“So you want me to explain what you just did?”
She shakes her head again.
“Sweetheart, what just happened?”
“I was almost going to go in the street.” The quiver in her voice reassures me that she knows how serious that offense is.
But she’s not done. “And?”
Her little eyebrows furrow as she looks up at me. “That’s it. That’s all I did bad.”
“How did you get outside? I certainly didn’t open the door.”
“Oh.” Her head drops to her chest again. “I opened it by myself.”
“Are you allowed to open the door by yourself?”
“No.”
“What does that mean?”
“Am I going to be on restriction?”
She looks up at me with big eyes, pleading for leniency as they fill with tears.
“Yup.” I finally look back to see JR watching our conversation. His face is unreadable. I have no idea what he thinks, but I’m glad he’s here to witness this. If he’s going to spend any time with Isla, he needs to understand that she lives by rules that she can’t break. And if she does, there are consequences. “No sweets tonight.”
“But—”
“No. Sweets. And if you whine or ask for any, you’ll go straight to bed, even if the movie isn’t finished. Do you understand?”
She nods her head and the tears finally spill down her cheeks.
“I brought ice cream.” JR holds up a bag from the grocery store. “Just a few bites will be okay.”
“Absolutely not!” Now my anger is directed at him. “She is not to have any sweets tonight. She could have been killed. This is not up for discussion.”
Isla finally lets out a wail then throws her arms around JR’s waist, seeking comfort from this man she barely knows. This monster she barely knows.
Holding a cupped palm over one of her ears, JR presses her head gently against his hip. “Don’t you ever speak to me that way, Beth.” His voice is more of a growl and I wonder what he would have done if we were in the privacy of my home. Fortunately, we’re still out in the middle of the yard with cars and people passing us. “If you ever raise your voice to me again, so help me, you won’t be around to know what the consequences of that will be.”
FUCK YOU! I want to scream in his face, punch his chest, and shove him into traffic. But I can’t. I couldn’t do it then, and I can’t do it now. I’m weak and he knows it. I’ve always had a weakness when it comes to standing up to JR. Even worse than weakness is terror. And I’m fucking terrified of this bastard.
I just shake my head without breaking eye contact. More than being pissed, he seems surprised that I’m actually disagreeing with him at all.
His wicked smile causes a knot to form in my throat as he releases his grip on Isla and drops to his knees in front of her.
“I’m your daddy, and I say you can have a few bites. But only if you promise not to run in the street or open the door by yourself. Do you promise?”
Her loud sniffle and bouncing head is agreement enough, but she punctuates the gesture by climbing into his arms and burying her wet face in his neck. “I do promise, Daddy. Thank you. I knew you were the best daddy ever.”
One corner of his mouth goes up and he winks at me. I want to fucking kill him.
“Best ever, huh?” JR stands up with her tucked in one arm and walks right past me. “Well, let’s get this in the freezer before it melts into ice cream soup.”
~**~
As predicted, JR railroads his way into my house and takes over the role of primary authority. And not just of Isla. No, he thinks he owns me too. But he’s crazy if he thinks I’m going to let this happen. Now that I know for sure he can’t be trusted, I’ll have to go back into hiding. I don’t want to and it’ll be rough on Isla, but there isn’t any other choice.
The emotional and potential physical damage he’ll eventually do to her is exponentially worse than the trauma she’ll suffer from starting a new school or having to move to a new town.
But tonight, I just have to survive. Instead of challenging him, I acquiesce to his dominance and try to stay out of his way. Isla and I serve the lasagna we made with salad and garlic bread. After dinner, we settle on the sofa with Isla between us, mostly curled up under JR’s arm, to watch a movie.
He brought Pixel, and I rented Minions. Isla picks my movie, and I’m only a little ashamed to admit it gives me a great deal of satisfaction to “win” something over JR.
Of course, I’ve been beside Isla since the day she was born, and he’s spent less than ten hours with her since she could roll over. But I don’t let that detract from my small victory. After that scene with the ice cream, I’m gonna take the few good moments I get tonight and count down the seconds until he drives away.
Isla falls asleep against JR halfway through the movie, and before we bring out the ice cream. He lifts her up effortlessly and looks toward the hall.
“Where’s her room?”
“First door on the right.” I try to unclench my jaw but I can’t. I don’t want him in my house. I don’t want him in my daughter’s room.
I follow behind and turn on her nightlight then pull back her covers. “Just lay her here.”
“Doesn’t she need her PJs?”
Yes. “No, she’ll be fine tonight. We’ll change her sheets in the morning.”
“Daddy?” Isla’s eyes barely flutter as her head hits the pillow.
“Yes, sweetheart. I’m right here.”
“Stay with me.”
“Of course, Isla. I’m not going anywhere.” His eyes never leave mine as he declares his intention. I know him well enough to know he’s not talking about just tonight.
He’s not planning to leave at all.
Chapter Thirteen
Mason
Just after closing, I see Aaron sitting in the back room with his head drooping.
“Hey, kid. What’s up?” Aaron’s nineteen but has the presence of a much younger teenager. He was pretty well insulated from the world in this little town.
“Oh.” He straightens up in the chair and scrubs his hands up and down his face. “Just getting ready to take off.”
“Everything okay?” I pull out the chair next to him and slide into it backwards.
Aaron shrugs. “I can’t believe that lady today.”
“Yeah, she was a piece of work.” That’s not the word in my head, but since he’s obviously upset, I don’t want to come off as harsh or angry.
“Does that happen often? I’ve never seen anything like that in my life.”
“No, not too often, but I’ve had a few drunks and obnoxious people in here in the past.”
Aaron keeps his head down. “It was a little scary. I didn’t know if the guys were going to say something back or if she was going to freak out on them.”
“Yeah, well, if that ever happens again, you have the right to ask anyone to leave if they’re being hateful or disrespectful to you or any of our customers.”
“Thanks, but I’m n
ot sure I could have done that.”
“Aaron.” I wait few seconds for him to lift his head and meet my gaze. “You can do that, and I know you will. You’re stronger than you think, and I know you’ll stand up for the rights of our customers. And if you feel physically threatened or you think things might become violent, you have to call 9-1-1 immediately.”
“Okay.”
“Aaron.” He glances at me from the side, hiding most of his face behind his bangs. “What else is wrong?”
“I guess I just didn’t know people were still like that. I thought that kind of thinking was just in old movies. God, is that really what the world is like outside of California?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I don’t think so. But, that kind of bigotry does exist everywhere. Whether it’s about race, religion, sexual orientation, or just financial status. You’re gonna run into assholes in life. But you have to stay true to what you believe in and remind yourself that they’re the ones with a problem. Not you.”
“My grandparents are from Oklahoma. I’m afraid of what they’ll stay to me when I see them next.”
“Have you seen them since you’ve come out?”
Aaron shakes his head. “I’m sure my mom has told her family. But I know my dad hasn’t told anyone. They’re really religious.”
I scoot closer and put an arm around his shoulder, pulling him into my chest. “It doesn’t matter what they say or think, kid. You’re a good man with a kind heart. You deserve happiness in whatever form that takes. As long as you aren’t hurting anyone, it doesn’t matter what people think.”
He inhales slowly. “Yeah, I just don’t know how I’ll react if someone says that stuff to me. I was ready to have a panic attack and she wasn’t even talking to me.”
I pulled him into a full embrace. I hate that people could be so fucked up at times. “What are you doing tonight?”
“My usual.” He pulls back and offers a small smile. “Nothing.”
“Wanna go grab dinner? I’m stag tonight too, and I’m starving.” I pat his back. “Let’s go find us some happy.”
~**~
The gastro pub down the street is already filling up when Aaron and I walk in. I know the manager of Refuge, and he always has a few tables reserved for friends so I look for him first. He sees me as we’re walking in, and his gaze hones in on my pink box of cream sticks. Gordon waves us over.
“Mason, it's great to see you. It’s been too long since you've been in here.”
“I know. That’s why I come bearing gifts.” I hand him the box.
Gordon lifts the corner of the lid and takes a whiff. “All is forgiven. You guys want a table?”
“If you can spare one.” I take a look around the crowded room.
“Of course, of course.” He ushers us to an empty table with a reserved card on top. “It was waiting for you, my friend.”
“Thanks, Gordon.”
“Wow!” Aaron whispers as soon as Gordon is out of earshot. “You must be really important.”
I laugh out loud. “No, his wife just has a sweet tooth.”
“So what's good here?” Aaron opens the menu and starts going through it.
“Pastrami,” the server and I say at the same time.
He’s standing beside us with a notepad in his hand. “We have the best Reuben in the state.”
“I second that.” I nod and flip the menu closed. “I'll take a Reuben.”
“That sounds good. I'll have that too,” Aaron says.
“And bring me a glass of Lucifer, please.”
“Sure thing.” The man turns to Aaron and bites his lip.
“What about you, boss?”
Aaron’s eyes go wide and his ears turn pink at the tips. “Just a Coke, please.”
“Coke it is.” The man winks and walks away with Aaron's eyes glued to his ass.
“Looks like the happy times are already starting.” I hold back a laugh at Aaron’s embarrassment.
He quickly averts his gaze but not before a half smile adorns his face. “What? He has to wink like that. It’s his job.”
“He didn't wink at me.” I give Aaron a pointed look.
“Whatever.” The grin covering his face is no longer in disguise. “So what about you? You're supposed to be looking for your happy too. See anything interesting in here?”
I resist rolling my eyes as I glance around the room. There are plenty of beautiful women, there’s never a shortage of them in this town, but I find myself comparing them to Beth. It’s not so much that she's more beautiful or taller or thinner or more refined than anyone in here. But these women seem to be missing something. I can't quite put my finger on it, but none of them stand out to me as someone I want to get to know. No one here compares to Beth.
“Not in here.” The server flirts more openly with Aaron when he delivers our drinks and food. We make small talk while we eat and after my second beer, I make a decision.
Even though she basically shut me down yesterday, I want Beth to know I'm thinking about her. I pull out my phone and thumb out a quick text.
Happy Friday. Hope you're having a good one.
-Mason
I would like to think she saved my contact information in her phone, but I don't want to risk getting the “who is this?” text back if she didn't. Saving myself the risk of humiliation, I signed my name.
Just like my grandma does.
Almost a minute goes by before I get a response that makes my stomach drop.
I can't talk. Please don't reply back. He'll be pissed if he sees this.
What the fuck?
Did I just get her in trouble?
“What's wrong?” Aaron asks.
I shake my head as I stare at my phone. “I don't know. I sent a text to say hi to a friend, and I think she's mad at me.”
Chapter Fourteen
Beth
I don't know if JR fell asleep in there, but I'm washing dishes when I hear my phone beep. I pull it from my purse and see a text from Mason.
Shit.
My head shoots up to see if JR is standing there watching me. Thankfully, he's not, but if he finds out who Mason is or that he's interested in me, who knows what he'll do to either of us.
I just get the messages deleted when JR's hand lands on my shoulder. “What are you doing, baby?”
I jump almost out of my skin and my heart is pounding. “Just checking my phone. Nothing important.”
“Anything interesting?” he says.
Looking down, I see the top message is from Amy asking if I am coming down this weekend. I haven't responded to her yet because I don't know what will happen after tonight, but I wave the phone in JR's general direction. “Just my sister. I'll call her tomorrow.”
Instead of watching the screen, he's watching me, looking for the tics he said I had in the past. He always knew when I was lying. God, I hope I've outgrown those. I slide my phone in back pocket then hook both thumbs around my belt loops. “Do you have a hotel or you heading back tonight?”
He laughs. “When did you become such a prude? I gave you some time to get used to this, but my patience is wearing thin. I need you, baby. It's been too long. I want to see you...feel you.”
I'm no longer whispering and any confidence I was forcing into my voice is long gone. Now, I'm scared. “You know nothing can happen between you and me, right. I understand you want to be in Isla’s life, and that's great, but we aren’t getting back together.”
He holds his arms out wide. “I'm standing right here. We are together, baby. There's no more fighting it. This is happening.” He takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly. “How about we have a drink first and then we both can relax a little bit.”
And just like that, he's in his charming mode. His mood swings have always been scary, but now I have to worry about Isla being on the wrong side of one.
“JR, let's be reasonable. It's been a long time. I'm not ready to just start seeing you again.”
His thumb brushes my che
ek, wiping away a tear I didn't even realize had fallen. “Let's have a couple beers and see what happens.”
“Nothing is going to happen.”
“Just get the beers.” I do as I'm told, hoping that maybe he's beginning to see reason. He’s sitting on the sofa with one knee up and facing me as I hand him a beer. As soon as I sit down, his fingers walk up my shoulder and he clasps them around my neck. “You're even more beautiful than you used to be.”
“Thank you.” I try to sound genuine, but I know he can hear the disgust in my voice.
“So tell me about yourself. What are you doing these days?”
“Just trying to keep Isla safe and happy. That’s all I've ever done, JR. I hope you know that.”
He scoots forward, placing his free hand on my thigh. “I know, baby. I was going through a bad time. My head wasn't on straight. I understand why you had to leave, but that's not me anymore. I've cleaned up. I've got a good job. We can be a family again.”
“Isla and I,” I say, shaking my head, “will never be your family, JR. You and Isla can have a relationship, and eventually, she'll be able to spend more time with you. But right now, we have to get to know each other first. If you care about her as much as it seems you do, you'll want her safe and happy.”
“I would never hurt her, baby. You know that.”
“No, I don't know that, actually.” I pull away from his arm, but his grip only tightens around my neck.
“See that.” Looking him straight in the eye, I grit my teeth. “You haven't changed that much. If you can hurt me, why would I believe you wouldn't hurt her?”
His eyes narrow. “She's my flesh and blood. She's sweet and innocent.”
“And I'm not? If that's true, why do you even want me back?”
“Because Isla is my daughter.” He digs his fingers into my leg. “And as long as you have custody of her, I will be in your life… Closely in your life.”
I shudder as a chill runs down my spine. “You can't do this to me anymore, JR,” I say quietly. “You can't hurt me. I won't allow it the way I used to.”
An evil smile spreads across his face. “You won't allow it? Just what are you gonna do, baby? Call the police like you did last time? Maybe try to disappear. I hate to burst your bubble, but you didn't run away from me. I let you go. At the time, I really didn't need your drama. I had other shit going on that I needed to take care of. But that's all taken care of, and now, I'm back.”
