“What does she think she’s doing, tiring herself in such a manner? She’s barely recovered from her injuries and illness.” Rabbie asked with an incredulous tone.
Kendrick admired her tenacity, though he too struggled to understand her motivation. “She behaves more like a warrior. It seems she intends to make herself fit with punishing trials. Not unlike our men might perform following an illness or injury. One of us must keep track of her at all times until we know what she’s doing here and whether she works with someone who plots against the clan.”
“Well, if ‘tis exercise the woman needs, you should be able to handle that. A bit of frolicking might be something you both could use.” Rabbie moved to avoid Kendrick’s swing at him.
Kendrick bristled. “Be careful what you babble aboot, Rabbie.”
“Perhaps a ride over our lands might help loosen her tongue is all I meant.” They both knew it was not what he’d implied.
* * *
Later that morning Kendrick found Andra in the gardens with Jane. “Good day, ladies.”
Jane bobbed a curtsey and quickly excused herself gathering her basket of freshly cut herbs. Andra handed her basket to Jane as well. “Some of the herbs should be dried, but some I will steep and clarify to add to our creams, Jane. I’ll join you a bit later.”
With a sweep of his hand, he indicated they sit on a bench under an arbor heavy with vines whose leaves dropped in profuse, burnished brown piles. Neither of them spoke for a few minutes.
Andra had no idea how to begin a conversation to repair the rift that had occurred the previous evening. It was a stupid argument. Of course, he couldn’t take her as his wife, nor did she want him to. Adjusting to eighteenth century mores presented a challenge, but she did not intend to stay for long.
Finally, Kendrick spoke. “I hear you’ve been working with Jane making soaps and such. I’m glad to see you settling into your surroundings. Do you feel well today?”
“Yes, thank you.” She sounded distracted to her own ears. They were both reticent. This is ridiculous. We need to be able to speak with one another.
He seemed as awkward as she felt. He should be apologizing, but then again, she suspected he did not apologize often or easily. Perhaps she should apologize for her blatant capitulation to her desires. They started to speak at the same moment. She stopped and motioned he continue.
He didn’t look at her for a second, then turned to capture her gaze. “It’s a warm day. I thought mayhap you’d like to ride with me today.”
“Oh, I’d love to.” An invitation to ride was the last thing she’d expected.
“After watching your…er…exercise this morning in the bailey, I thought you might be well enough.”
“Oh, you saw me? Yes, well, I’m anxious to regain my strength and stamina. A ride would be excellent. When might we leave?”
He studied the sky for a few minutes. “We should go soon. The weather may change abruptly later today, and I wouldn’t want us caught by the elements so soon after your recovery. Are you sure your ribs can handle a ride?”
“I’m still a bit sore, but if we don’t race at breakneck speed, I think I’ll be fine.”
At least a ride would re-engage them in pleasant conversation. Well, maybe it would. She expected a barrage of questions, but she wanted to make peace. That’s what she told herself. In her heart, she wanted something more, something to do with how they might arrive at that peace.
They rode out of the bailey, he on his great, gray horse, aptly named Thunder, and she on a gentle, tan mare. Many of the trails skirted fields occupied with men who tended livestock or harvested grain. The golden fields rolled in waves under a soft breeze. Soon they reached a ridge overlooking the ocean. Kendrick pointed out various landscape anomalies, and conversed easily about his clan and the surrounding village and crofts. Every word and expression revealed his pride as he gazed over the land. Visible from this location, the castle’s expanse of red sandstone shimmered in the sun. The red hills seemed to have birthed Ruadhstone Castle. Four concentric towers, the outer walls, and the inner structure of the keep looked like a natural part of the rugged landscape of towering spires.
Kendrick pulled them beside a cluster of scraggy pine trees and dismounted. He indicated a pack on the back of his horse. “I’ve brought refreshments.” Taking her waist, he lifted her down, his hands lingering for several seconds before releasing her. He laid down a plaid. “Come, join me.”
Sinking down beside him, she lifted her head eyes closed, and breathed deeply, “Mmmm, I love the smell of the ocean.”
“Did you live near the ocean?” His nonchalant tone did not conceal his intention to commence the interrogation.
Questions already? What did she expect? “Yes, I can recall being near the ocean on many occasions over the years. My father loved the sea.”
“So, you’re regaining your memories?”
She dropped her head, her hand drifting to the cross at her neck. “I have many memories, Kendrick. I just can’t explain how I came to be in Scotland. My father died. He’d asked me to return the family’s ashes to his beloved Scotland. I was preparing to leave on my journey, and that is the absolute last thing I can recall before seeing you and your men riding through those trees.”
“From where did you begin to prepare for the trip?”
What had she told him previously? “Truthfully, I cannot recall. I imagine it could have been most anywhere on our extensive travels. I know it was near the ocean, but nothing else is clear in my mind. Do not think that this lapse of memory does not trouble me as much as it seems to trouble you. In ways I can’t begin to explain, it terrifies me that I have no idea how I arrived in Scotland.”
It did indeed trouble her, but not for any reason he might imagine. The anxiety she felt when she allowed herself to dwell on the matter for too long barely described her terror. His frustration was quite evident, and she knew he was growing angry over her reluctance to disclose more.
“Lorne suggested you might have been in the heathen lands, accounting for your father’s ashes. Andra, you can trust me, you ken. I’ll not hold anything against you and will do everything in my power to provide assistance.”
His entreaties were so intense, so earnest. She reached her hand to cup his jaw. “I trust you, Kendrick. If I could tell you more about how I came to be here, I would.”
“What about your son’s father?”
That question startled her. Dropping her eyes for a moment, she allowed the painful memories to swamp her but refused to cry. What else could she offer to answer his questions?
“As for Roy, my son’s father, there is little to say. He has no claim on me, and I have none on him. I don’t know his location, or even whether he lives, nor do I want to know. How or why I ever saw any redeeming quality in the man baffles me, and that is all I would like to say on the matter. I am absolutely certain he will never enter my life again.” He had no idea the magnitude of that statement. Especially if she remained in this time since Roy wouldn’t be born for centuries.
“I believe you speak the truth, but you continue to withhold. Just listening to you speak of this worthless rake in your life makes me want to roar like a beast. You may think this is none of my business, but if you or your past poses a danger to my clan, then everything about you is of import to me.”
This talk about Roy and her past upset her. When she turned her gaze back to him, she couldn’t hide the sadness or the fear that clutched at her. On the one hand, he made her feel desired and safe, on the other hand anxious with his relentless probing.
“I’m so sorry to disappoint you, Kendrick, truly I am. Is it possible to take our time, allow the memories to return at a natural pace? I promise I pose no threat to you and your clan. No one misses me or searches for me. Of that, I’m certain.
She decided she might as well go for broke. “And I’m sorry about last night. I was just so happy to see you safely returned. I feel all at loose ends when you are not near me,
as silly as that sounds.”
Reaching a hand behind her neck, he brought his mouth to hers in a hungry, demanding kiss. Twining his fingers through her braid, he loosened her hair. He pulled her under him, and a deep rumble resonated from his throat.
The tensely bunched muscles of his arms surrounded her. It might be a mistake or only her wild imagination, but his embrace provided a deep sense of security. The crush of his hard chest against her breasts sent waves of heat and wetness between her legs. He pushed down the top of her bodice, ran a thumb over a hardened nipple, and pressed his thickened member against her abdomen. She rocked against him, urging more.
He sucked and nipped her nipple. “Ahh, my sweet, you’re as ripe and ready as a plump berry.
Her aureoles puckered with arousal. The throbbing at her apex intensified exponentially when his hand slid along her thigh and pushed up her skirts. What in God’s name am I doing? But she quickly slammed the door on further questions of that nature.
Of their own volition, her legs parted, granting him access, and he took it. The palm of his hand pressed onto her mons, his thumb rubbed heated circles against the nub of her arousal. Her hips thrust against his hand as his fingers invaded her warmth.
He pressed his forehead against hers. “You’re beautiful. You make me forget myself. I ache for you, mo stór. I’m near bursting to enter you. Will you have me freely, Andra?”
He started to say more when she stopped him. “Say not another word, Kendrick. Let’s not ruin this moment. You want me. I want you. Let that be enough.” She pressed her mouth to his and suckled his full, lower lip then plunged her tongue into his mouth as he lifted above her and gently nudged the tip of his shaft against her entrance.
After a few, quick thrusts, a form of madness possessed her. She ignored all thoughts and the clanging bells urging caution. She fed their passion with full abandon. When she climaxed, she threw back her head, cried out her pleasure, and clutched him to her as he found his own release.
Sated and resting languidly in his arms, Andra’s thoughts wrestled with concern over her recklessness. She couldn’t seem to rein in her passion for this man, and he seemed less inclined than she did to proceed cautiously. Of course, he was a man and a laird; what did bedding one more woman matter to him. Yet the thought that she was most likely just another conquest hurt deeply, even though she chose to ignore those feelings. Besides, she suspected he would not pursue her if she rejected his advances, and right now, no matter how insane the idea, she definitely craved his pursuit.
Kendrick leaned over her and brushed his thumb along the worry lines creasing her forehead. “What troubles you, lass?”
“I…I don’t know what to make of us, Kendrick. I think we are both behaving completely out of character. Well, perhaps not you, but I can certainly speak to my own behavior. This passion overrules my good sense and is more than a little unsettling.”
Her eyes filled with tears and she lowered her lids hiding from his gaze, bewildered at her behavior. “I don’t want to earn a poor opinion from you. I don’t…I mean, I’m not…a loose woman. I have not been with a man since….” She paused, why did she suddenly feel the need to explain herself to him?
“Let me just say it’s been many long and empty years.” She took a deep breath, “I am embarrassed at how easily you have breached my defenses.”
Chuckling, he kissed her temple and gently pulled her into an embrace. “Do not fash yourself, Andra. ‘Tis I who should apologize for taking inappropriate liberties. It is out of the norm for me as well, you ken.” He held her away from him and studied her intently then stood and extended his hand to her.
Raising her to her feet, he draped his arm around her shoulders. “You are right, I am not behaving properly, and I should not press demands on you and take advantage of your vulnerability. Let us take our time, get to know each other better.”
Andra could barely look at his lovely face. She didn’t know how to handle this passionate reaction. Considering the situation, her behavior shocked and embarrassed her, especially in the glaring light of day. Everything she’d read about this time period suggested she’d be condemned for her forward behavior. Then again, sexual congress outside of marriage had been going on since the dawn of man. Maybe the societal mores often alluded to in books were overly presumptuous about women’s chastity throughout time. Still, she couldn’t argue that she seemed to be doing everything wrong and failed miserably at corralling her suddenly liberated libido. This passion, though magnificent, would most likely hurt her in the end.
As though he recognized her discomfort, he adroitly changed the subject. “The storm is moving in, we’d best return before the rain starts.”
Chapter Twenty-One
For the next week or so, Andra lost track of time as one day morphed into the next with easy routine. Awake before dawn, she repeated the exercises she’d begun on the day she determined to get back in shape. She offered her services wherever she could around the keep. Working with Jane making salves and herbal-scented creams and soaps became her favorite job. In the evenings, she joined the family at the dais engaging those around her in congenial conversation. The children often talked her into telling stories or singing a goodnight lullaby.
Kendrick’s duties took him away during the day and sometimes overnight. They had not spoken of their last outing and nor had he engaged her again. She longed for him to come to her, but at least they were on cordial terms. That was good, wasn’t it?
When in the keep, she could feel Kendrick’s presence and knew he tracked her movements as well. In all probability, no one missed his or her frequent furtive glances. Every night his footsteps halted outside her door, and every night he moved on to his own room and left her undisturbed. Then he would suddenly disappear for a few days.
Some days later, Andra walked beyond the castle walls for the first time, apart from her ride with Kendrick. She went with Jane and Isabel in search of the wild herbs that Jane said grew in a field adjacent the village.
A sudden ruckus near one of the cottages drew Andra’s attention to a man knocking a young woman to the ground. The woman, a girl really, perhaps only sixteen or seventeen, her lip already swollen and bleeding cowered with her arms wrapped over her head. A brute of a man continued to lash blows on her even after she’d fallen. Andra sprinted ahead and stood in front of the woman. Arms up, hands tilted in front of her, she yelled, “Back off, mister. What do you think you are doing?”
A shocked expression flashed over his face as he took a momentary step back. Fury quickly replaced his astonishment. He spit at her feet. “How dare ye speak to me, ye whoring Sassenach. I’ll treat my woman as I see fit, and ye’ll stay out of me way, or I’ll smack ye as well.”
Isabel and Jane collectively gasped and called for Andra to return to them. Ignoring their pleas, she stood firm. She also ignored his slur. The derogatory term didn’t surprise her. It didn’t please her either. Unfortunately, rumormongers here would not differ from anywhere else; but it did heighten her indignation. “I don’t think so, buster. She’s just a girl, and that is no way to treat a woman of any age. What could she have possibly done to deserve such a brutal beating?”
“That’s none of your concern,” he snarled, puffing out his chest and stepping forward in a threatening manner.
She could smell the whisky on him. He was drunk. She spoke to the woman while keeping her eyes on the man. “Get up and go to the healer.”
He pointed his finger at the woman. “If ye get up, ye’ll nae be returning to this house.”
Visibly shaken the woman seemed unable to respond. “Get up and go to Jane!” Andra commanded more forcefully.
“Ye’ll nae be ordering my woman aboot, ye filthy Sassenach.” He swung his arm to punch her. She effectively blocked the punch, though the block would result in a hefty bruise on her arm, and managed to flip him on his back. He kicked out and knocked her off her feet. By then, the guard who had been following the women at a discreet dista
nce arrived, unsheathing his sword with a whistling hiss, which he pressed to the man’s throat.
“Dinnae move or you’ll taste my sword, you bastard. You’ll answer to the laird when he returns.”
That brought their outing to a swift, immediate conclusion. Andra refused to leave the woman with the man and dragged her back to the keep with them.
Vera, who had witnessed the fracas on her return to the castle, had obviously run ahead and informed Beatrice, because the laird’s mother and Lorne were standing on the steps when they came into the bailey.
By the time they reached the entrance, Andra had learned that the woman’s name was Sile, and the man was her betrothed. The girl was barely sixteen, as she suspected. She went directly to Lorne and Beatrice and dipped into an awkward curtsy. “I witnessed this young girl being accosted and intervened on her behalf. My apologies for bringing her here without your permission, but I could not leave her under the circumstances.”
* * *
Lorne shook his head, struggling to suppress a smile. Then he noticed Andra’s clothing, dirty with leaves and sticks stuck to her gown, and a large tear along the hem and one sleeve. Her hair looked like she’d rolled in the dirt, and it tumbled around her shoulders in disarray. The smile left his face immediately. When Kendrick returned and learned of this altercation, all hell would break loose. “Come into the keep, and we will discuss the matter.” He ordered everyone inside.
Isabel, Jane, and Sile were visibly upset. Beatrice turned to her son. “I’ll take them to my rooms and learn what they have to say about the matter. They should not stay here under everyone’s scrutiny.”
“Nae, let us all go to Kendrick’s solar to discuss the matter. Have one of the servants bring warm cider and wine.”
They had barely disclosed details of the event when thundering footsteps slammed down the hall. The door banged against the wall, and Kendrick entered with Rabbie and Struan close on his heels, still dirty, and sweaty from their activities of the day.
Finding My Highlander Page 14
