There they are. All of the people I used to think I would stay in contact with for the rest of my life.
Penny Grove’s senior class was lined up by the stage and ready to receive their high school diplomas. Val was the only one of them that I had spoken with since I dropped out. A lot of people tried, but I never felt like their offer of support was genuine. I remembered them laughing at me that day in the hallway—before I realized what happened—and after when I asked if anyone had seen Jake. Monica was the most persistent of the people I ignored, but I just didn’t have it in me to discuss the situation with her. I didn’t blame her for everything that occurred, but I did think she had some very poor judgment when she invited Kristy Sinclair to her party. She really should have known better.
And there’s Jake—they’ll call his name third…
It was hard to come to terms with losing the guy I thought I would wear a beautiful white dress for one day. Some time apart had allowed me to look at our entire relationship through eyes that were no longer blinded by love. Things were never perfect. Maybe the dreams I chased were always destined to turn to ashes in my mouth. Jake was an angry young man struggling with a lot of internal turmoil before our relationship came crashing down—but I still missed the side of him that most people didn’t see. I truly hoped he found someone that made him happy one day—someone that could give him the things I never would.
Don’t cry. I swore I wouldn’t cry.
I fought to hold back the tears as the people I went to school with my entire life walked across the stage and were honored with their high school diploma. I would have been between Timmy Campbell and Ramonica Clark. That’s where I always was when our class was lined up in alphabetical order. There was no pause when they moved from Campbell to Clark—like I never even existed. I waited until Val’s name was called before I left. I had no idea if anyone recognized me underneath my hoodie, but I didn’t want to stick around until people started socializing and celebrating with the brand new graduates.
It’s time to put all of this behind me.
My car was already packed with everything I wanted to take with me when I left Penny Grove. I wasn’t even sure where I would go—I just knew I couldn’t live amongst the bad memories any longer. If there was a chance for me to have something that resembled a normal life, I had to put my hometown in the rear-view mirror. My mother was the only one who knew I was leaving. She came to terms with my decision, probably because she had been there with me every single day for six straight months of anguish and understood that something had to change. I didn’t even tell Val—I knew she would try to convince me to stay, and I just couldn’t. The only thing I had left to do was stop by Anderson & Anderson. I needed to leave my key behind, and I owed Mr. Anderson a letter of resignation, even if it was effective immediately.
My escape is almost entirely funded by his generosity at this point…
Working long hours every week at Anderson & Anderson had allowed me to save enough money to buy an old clunker with four good tires, and I had enough money to drive for a little while. I could go all the way to the West Coast if my car would make it, but I doubted there was anything for me out there. I just needed somewhere that wasn’t surrounded by horrible memories.
I drove to Anderson & Anderson and unlocked the front door for the final time. I still had one paycheck to collect, but it would be deposited directly into my bank account, so there was no reason to wait on it. I sat down behind Mr. Anderson’s desk and picked up a pen. I didn’t know what to write to the man who had done so much for me—the man I called Daddy as a joke, but he had truthfully been kinder to me than anyone in my own family—certainly more than one who gave me my last name.
I don’t even know if I would be able to remember my real father’s face if I didn’t have a few photographs of us together before I was old enough to remember him.
I pressed the pen to the paper, but that didn’t magically create words—the pen just stayed where the tip fell. I stared at the blank page and tried to think of something to write that could express my gratitude. There was plenty to say, but I didn’t even know where to begin. Before I could come up with anything, I heard a car door outside. Panic shot through my veins—I had no idea who it could be. I hopped up from Mr. Anderson’s desk, but before I could get to the window, the door opened.
“Phoebe…” Mr. Anderson walked into the office. “I didn’t realize that was your car outside.”
“Uh, yeah.” I nodded quickly.
“It looks like you stuffed your whole life in the backseat.” He narrowed his eyes. “Are you going somewhere?”
There’s no way I can lie to him at this point…
“I am.” I looked down and sighed. “I was trying to write my letter of resignation.”
“I heard you dropped out of high school, so I assume you aren’t going to college.” He tilted his head inquisitively.
“No sir.” I shook my head back and forth. “I’m just leaving. I’m sure you understand why I can’t stay.”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “I wish you hadn’t dropped out, but you should at least try to get your GED.” A long sigh passed across his lips. “Well fuck, is there anything you need?”
“You’ve done more than enough.” I felt myself tearing up as I thought about it. “You never judged me—you let me keep working here—you didn’t even say anything when I started putting in more hours…”
“The work needed to be done.” He shrugged. “We talked about you doing it over the summer before any of this happened.”
“I know.” I nodded. “But after things fell apart with Jake—I just expected my key to stop working one day.”
“It was never going to stop working, Phoebe.” He took a step forward. “I meant what I said that day at my house. Anything you need, I’m here—even if it’s a bus ticket home one day. All you have to do is call.”
“Thank you.” A couple of tears rolled down my face.
“Hold on…” Mr. Anderson walked past me and moved a picture that was on the wall in his office, which revealed a small safe. “I know how much I’m paying you. If you’re leaving Penny Grove to start over somewhere else, there’s no way you’re going to have enough…”
“I’ve saved money.” I nodded quickly. “I’ll be okay.”
“You’re a high school dropout, Phoebe. I’m not trying to be mean, but it’s going to be very hard for you to make it on your own.” He opened the safe, pulled out an envelope, and handed it to me. “Take this—consider it a bonus for all of the work you’ve done.”
What he’s saying is true, even if I don’t want to admit it to myself.
“This…” I blinked in surprise when I realized that the envelope was thick enough to be noticeable. “No. Mr. Anderson, I appreciate the offer, but I can’t take your money.”
“You can.” He put his hand on my purse and pushed the envelope deep inside it. “And you will.”
“No sir.” I shook my head and tried to retrieve the envelope
“If you don’t take this, I’m just going to transfer the money to your account.” He shrugged. “Please let me help you, Phoebe. Being able to do that means a lot more to me than that money ever will.”
I really do need the money. I might have enough to leave Penny Grove, but I don’t know how long that will last—or how long it will take me to find a new job.
“Okay.” My fingers touched the envelope, but I pulled them back without removing it from my purse. “But this is a loan—I’m going to pay you back. I promise!”
“You don’t have to, but you can treat it like a loan if you want.” He shrugged and extended his arms for a hug.
“Thank you.” I stepped into his warm embrace. “For everything…”
“I wish things could have been different.” He squeezed me tight. “I would have loved for you to be a member of my family one day.”
“I really wanted to be...” I exhaled sharply. “I’m going to miss you—Daddy.”
“I
’m going to miss you too.” He sighed as our embrace ended.
I left Anderson & Anderson with tears in my eyes, but they weren’t tears of anguish like the ones I had shed so many times since my life fell apart. They certainly weren’t happy tears—they were just liquid reflections of the love that still lingered in my heart. Jake’s father was the kind of man I always hoped Jake would become—almost like I tried to look into a mirror that could show me what he would be like in the future. Maybe it was just wishful thinking. Jake seemed to be headed down a very different path, and I wasn’t sure the end result was going to be kindness, generosity, and forgiveness. It was hard to imagine Jake ever being able to look past my mistake and offering me as much as a smile—much less anything else.
I hope we are all able to find what we are looking for one day—even if I have no idea what that is right now.
Chapter Seven
Phoebe
Three years later
The dreams I used to have were left behind in Penny Grove—none of them came with me when I left. I didn’t find any new ones where the grass seemed greener, and eventually, there wasn’t even any grass left. The concrete jungle of New York City absorbed the girl who used to believe in happily ever afters. In a world where nobody knew who I was, I forgot who I used to be. Letting go of everything was easier than I expected, but it crushed what was left of my soul. My past was over. My present and my future looked exactly the same. I had no upward trajectory in life, and I was perfectly fine with that—a flat line was better than a downward spiral.
I found an apartment that was one step above a shithole—I would have been lucky to afford an apartment with a door if it wasn’t for the money Mr. Anderson loaned me. Within a few months, I was working three jobs and looked like a zombie. Eventually, I got smarter—I found a couple of roommates, got rid of every expense I didn’t need outside of a couple vices, and found a job at a nice diner near some offices downtown. The lunch crowd tipped well, and I could usually pick up some shifts in the evening—sometimes they even let me take care of a few deliveries if they got hit with a rush at the end of my regular shift.
“Phoebe, what the hell are you doing? I don’t pay you to stand back here and suck on that fucking Juul!” My boss, a temperamental Italian named Enzo, stormed into the back and yelled at me.
“Enzo, I’ve been working for like six hours without taking a break!” I threw my hands up and shook my head in disbelief.
I didn’t even take a lunch because I was afraid I would miss out on a few tips.
“Fine!” He muttered angrily and walked past me. “Where’s Chuck?”
“I think he took the trash out.” I pointed towards the door.
“He better not be playing that stupid game on his phone!” Enzo pushed the door open. “Chuck! Where the hell are you?”
My boss gave me a hard time, but he was harmless. Chuck was a teenager who barely did his job, so he got most of Enzo’s wrath. There were only a couple of waitresses that had been working at the restaurant longer than me, and they all worked the evening shift, so I had seniority during the daytime. I abused that a little bit to make sure I got the best tables, but that was tradition—they did the same thing to me when I was just starting out. I took two more quick puffs from my Juul and tucked it in apron before returning to work.
“Table six got filled while you were in the back.” Jorge, our only male waiter, gave me a nudge as soon as I stepped behind the counter. “I’m pretty sure that’s your table.”
“Yep, that’s by the window.” I nodded to him.
We had a tiered system for seating that we followed unless the customer asked for a specific table. If someone walked in wearing a nice suit or a fancy dress, they were put in front of the window. Enzo thought it helped for potential customers to walk by and see well-dressed people enjoying their food. We got our fair share of that thanks to the office buildings nearby. Those customers always tipped well, which is why the tables in front of the window belonged to me during my shift. I took a quick peek and noticed that the gentleman was wearing a suit that looked expensive, which was a great sign, and put a smile on my face.
“Hello, and welcome to Enzo’s. Can I start you with a cup of coffee—oh my god!” My hand trembled, and I nearly dropped the coffee pot in my hand when I saw who was sitting at the table. “Mr. Anderson!”
“Yes—um…” He lifted his head, and then his eyes got wide. “Phoebe!?”
“Hey!” I put down my coffee pot and hugged him as soon as he stood up. “Wow, how long has it been—three years now?”
“Yeah, I think so.” He gave me a warm embrace before he took a step back. “You work here?”
“I do…” I recovered from my shock and started to pour him a cup of coffee. “I’ve been here for a couple of years now.”
“I always wondered what happened to you.” He sat back down. “Are you doing okay?”
“As good as I can be.” I shrugged. “Honestly? Things are a lot better than they were the last time you saw me.”
When you gave me an envelope full of money that I promised to pay back—which I’ve neglected to do.
“Good, I’m glad to hear that.” He smiled and nodded.
“What brings you to New York? This is a long way from Penny Grove—which is why I landed here.” I tilted my head inquisitively.
“I’ve got a client here that keeps me on retainer.” He picked up his coffee and took a sip. “They recently got into some trouble, so I’m here to see if what I can do about that.”
“If you’re their lawyer, I’m sure they have nothing to worry about.” I smiled, and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Enzo was glaring. “Oh, obviously you’re here to eat. What can I get for you?”
“I don’t know.” He reached for the menu. “What’s good?”
“I’m supposed to tell you that everything is good, but I’d recommend something from the grill if you want something fresh.” I clicked my pen and prepared to start writing.
“Hmm, okay.” He scanned the menu. “Let me get Enzo’s Famous Burger and—well, Enzo’s Famous Fries?”
“Awesome choice.” I wrote it down. “Anything to drink, or do you want to stick with coffee?”
“Coffee is fine, thank you.” He nodded.
“Okay, I’ll be back with your food in a few minutes.” I smiled and walked towards the kitchen.
I put in Mr. Anderson’s order and made the rounds to take care of my other tables. I had trouble focusing on my job because my head was filling up with memories—memories I had done my best to forget since leaving Penny Grove. Starting over was hard, but I had built a nice life for myself. Sure, I was lonely, and I missed a few of my friends, but I chose not to reconnect with any of them except for Val. She knew not to bring up things I didn’t want to revisit—even if it had been three years since my life came crashing down.
“Friend of yours?” Enzo motioned to Mr. Anderson when I walked back the counter to check on his order.
“Yeah, my ex-boyfriend’s dad.” I nodded. “I haven’t seen him in a few years.”
“Did his son break your heart?” Enzo’s eyebrows shot up.
“Uh, I guess you could say that.” I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment.
“Good, maybe he’ll leave you a big tip.” Enzo laughed and pointed to the counter. “The order is up.”
“Thanks…” I picked up Mr. Anderson’s order and walked to his table.
“Wow, this looks delicious—better than what I used to make.” He chuckled under his breath as I put the food down.
“I loved eating at your house.” I shrugged. “I didn’t get many home-cooked meals at mine.”
“I liked having someone there that enjoyed them.” He gave me a weak smile. “I’m only in town for a couple of days, but would you like to get a drink? I’d love to catch up and hear more about how things are going for you here.”
“Um…” I looked down for a moment. “Yeah, that would be nice. Where are you staying?”
“The Grand.” He motioned in the general direction of the hotel I passed on the way to work every day. “But I’d prefer to get a drink somewhere other than the hotel bar. Got any recommendations?”
“Let me think…” My eyebrows furrowed as I contemplated some options. “Oh, there’s a place not far from here called The Skylark. It’s pretty popular.”
“Could we meet there tonight?” He tilted his head inquisitively.
I won’t be able to pick up an extra shift, but I can’t really say no, considering how generous he was when I left Penny Grove.
“Sure, how about seven? I need to go home and change.” I pulled my pad out of my apron when I saw another table being seated.
“That sounds good to me.” He nodded.
The lunch crowd started to fill the restaurant, and I was grateful for the distraction. My head was getting flooded with memories, and I needed to snap myself back to reality. I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to sit down and have a drink with Mr. Anderson—or catch up—considering my reasons for leaving Penny Grove. Still, I did owe him something, even if I just had to sit there and listen to stories about Jake. I hoped he would be kind enough to touch lightly on that subject since he knew how much it hurt when our relationship ended. I had recovered from it, but there were some scars—scars that made it almost impossible for me to have a serious relationship or trust anyone else with my heart.
Mr. Anderson was always nice to me, even after my life fell apart, so I’ll risk reopening those old wounds…
My Ex Boyfriend’s Daddy Page 5
