This is bad. This is really bad.
“I’m sure she’s moved on. Why wouldn’t she? I treated her like garbage when she needed me more than anyone else in the world.” Jake shook his head. “I know an apology won’t undo everything, but I still need to say the words.”
Undo things? Undo the pain or undo the end of the relationship? I don’t know if either of those things are possible.
“For you or for her?” My defenses went up immediately, a lot more than they should have—but I couldn’t help it.
“That’s a good question.” He looked up and sighed.
“You should figure out the answer to it before you think about reaching out to her.” I patted his knee again, and a little firmer than I may have intended.
Fuck me.
I could have confessed the truth to Jake on the spot, but I didn’t feel like I had the right to do that without talking to Phoebe. She needed to know about his transformation and that part of his journey towards healing his own wounds could intersect with the path she took when she left Penny Grove. If he figured out the answer to his own question and still wanted to make amends, then there was a chance he would try to track her down. I didn’t know what kind of precautions she had taken when she left—if she had hidden herself by distance and a lack of social media presence or took it a few steps beyond that. Either way, it didn’t feel like it would be entirely unavoidable if that was what his heart truly wanted.
Our reunion may not be as happy as I hoped it would be, not with the secret I’m hiding.
* * *
Jake stayed with me for the rest of the weekend, and I decided to delay my departure so I could see him off. We talked about the case I was working on, without discussing my research assistant, and made sure he understood I wouldn’t always be home if he came to visit unless he called first. He seemed genuine about repairing our relationship, which made me believe he would be home a lot more than he had been since he left—and willing to stay with me instead of hiding out with his grandparents. His visit ended with a hug, which was the first one we had shared in so long that it was hard to remember the last one. I didn’t see a stranger when I looked in Jake’s eyes anymore—I saw my son.
I really hope that look doesn’t disappear when he finds out that Phoebe did move on, and she did so with me.
I walked back inside my house after Jake left and packed my bag. I could tell I was moving a lot slower than normal. My return should have been exciting because I was going to get to see the woman that had stolen my heart, but I was truly dreading the conversation we were going to have when I got there. Jake was her dream once upon a time—he was her everything. The truth, underneath all of my feelings, was that they could have a chance again if she wanted it. I swore I would never let her go, but if finding out the truth about Jake changed the way she felt about me, then it was possible that I wouldn’t have a say in the matter.
I believe in what we have, so I will have to put my faith in it. If that makes me a fool, then I’ll have to accept the consequences.
My heart was conflicted, and my head was a mess when I finally got behind the wheel and started my drive to New York City. If I had known Jake was going to change, I might have proceeded with even more caution when I started to develop feelings for Phoebe. Jake didn’t come out and say that he hoped his apology would open the door he slammed shut—there was a chance that he wasn’t even looking for that—but I didn’t know that with absolute certainty. A part of me wished I had pressed him until he revealed what was on the other side of that apology, but I didn’t. Maybe deep down, I didn’t want to know the answer. I wasn’t ready to lose Phoebe, but I had to mentally prepare myself for that possibility.
I’ll never regret what we had, and I’ll mourn it if it ends, but I can’t stand in the way of what her heart wants—even if it isn’t me.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Phoebe
I spent most of Friday debating whether or not I had made the right decision when I let Arlo leave without me. By Saturday, I had come to terms with my reluctance to go home and simply missed him. Sunday brought a new sense of excitement that I really didn’t know how to contain. I took a trip to the store just to occupy my thoughts and ended up buying a nice set of lingerie for his return. I doubted I would get to wear it long, but it was something sexy to have on underneath my bathrobe when he arrived—or maybe I would just be waiting for him in bed. Either way, we were going to make the most of the hours we had before it was time to go back to the office on Monday morning.
Arlo sent me a text message when he left Penny Grove, and I couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed when I realized he wasn’t halfway to New York City. I thought he had just forgotten to let me know he was leaving—not that he stayed much later than he originally intended. I tried not to let the disappointment interfere with my excitement and basically counted down the minutes until it was almost time for him to walk through the door. My phone lit up with a message right before I predicted he would arrive.
Arlo: Hey, I got stuck in traffic. I’m about thirty minutes away—if the traffic cooperates.
Phoebe: Okay. :) I got a surprise for you!
Arlo: Really?
Phoebe: Yep! I think you’re going to like it.
Arlo: I have something to talk to you about when I get there.
Phoebe: Good or bad?
Arlo: I’m not sure yet.
Phoebe: Oh…
I felt a knot in my stomach when I read Arlo’s text message. A talk—and he didn’t know if it was good or bad. My mind went to the worst-case scenarios immediately. Did something happen in Penny Grove? Had someone found out about our relationship before we were ready to share the news with them? Was Arlo tired of me? I didn’t really think he would break up with me considering how well things had been going, but the thought did linger in my mind because no matter how I felt about him—I wasn’t inside his head. I had no way of knowing what he was thinking.
Damn it, I was going to limit myself to just one Juul pod this weekend, and now I’m out. Fuck it; this has been my crutch when I get nervous for too long—not the right time to start relying on meditation.
I switched out my Juul pod and tried to use the vapor for relaxation, but it didn’t really work—I had been restricting myself, so it gave me a head rush instead of calming my nerves. That was the last thing I needed, so I just put my Juul down on the table and tried to find some sort of mental peace that would stop me from losing my mind. Part of me wished Arlo would have just waited until he arrived to say that we needed to talk—but then again, I would have made that very difficult if I was expecting something else when he walked through the door.
He’s here…
“Hey.” Arlo walked into the hotel room and put his bag down.
“Whatever you need to say, I want you to just tell me—please don’t beat around the bush or try to spare my feelings.” I looked up at him and tried to maintain my composure.
“That’s fair.” He walked over and sat down next to me. “I had an unexpected visitor when I got home—it was Jake.”
“Oh god!” I tensed up immediately. “Is everything okay? Did you tell him—about us?”
“I didn’t tell him.” Arlo shook his head. “We were too busy talking about other things. He’s changed, Phoebe. He’s finally realized that he was looking at the world through a pair of broken rose-colored glasses.”
“Well that is good news.” My head snapped back. “Right?”
“It is.” He nodded. “But that wasn’t all that he told me—he also said that he plans to reach out to you so he can make amends…”
“I don’t know if I want that.” I shook my head quickly and reached for my Juul—I didn’t care if it just gave me a head rush anymore.
“That’s why I said I wasn’t sure if it was good news or bad news.” Arlo sighed. “I know there’s a lot of pain leftover from that.”
“Arlo…” I put my hand on his. “That pain isn’t nearly as strong as
it once was, and honestly, I’m not even sure it hurts that much anymore—if Jake wants to apologize, then I’ll listen to what he has to say. If he’s truly changed, then I’m sure his burden is a lot bigger than mine now.”
“What if…” Arlo’s eyes clouded over. “What if he’s the same guy you fell in love with and regrets what happened so much that he wants another chance.”
“Wait.” I blinked a couple of times in surprise. “Is that what this is really about? You’re afraid that I would want to go back to Jake if he’s changed?”
“I have to be realistic here.” He swallowed hard, and I saw a hint of agony in his expression. “You loved him first. What you had with him was supposed to be your future—that was stolen from you.”
“No!” I practically jumped out of my seat. “Not just no, but hell no. What I had with Jake was my teenage perception of love. I had no idea what that truly meant—I don’t think I even understood the gravity of the word until I met you. Arlo—I love you. There’s nothing in this entire fucking world that could change that.”
“You’re sure about that?” His face seemed to relax. “Because I love you too, and I don’t even know how I would go on if you wanted something else.”
“I will never want anything else.” I squeezed his hand. “What we have is everything I need. I don’t care if Jake is the same guy he used to be, or a million times better than he was—you’re the one I want to be with.”
“You’re the one I want to be with too.” Arlo extended his arms and pulled me into an embrace. “Forever…”
My words were as true as they could be. I was in love with Arlo in a way that made the rest of the world feel like it didn’t matter. Nothing that happened in Penny Grove could be changed, and Jake was no longer someone that I could look at with love—the scar that used to be on my heart had faded to the point that I couldn’t even feel it twinge when I thought of him. It was like living a whole different life. I could forgive him if he asked me to do so. I could tell him that I didn’t hold a grudge. Both of those things were true because Arlo had shown me what real love was. He would never betray me. Actions meant a whole lot more than promises and dreams of something that never happened.
“I got scared when you said you had something to tell me.” I leaned against his shoulder and sighed. “Our time together has been so amazing—I was afraid something was going to change that.”
“I was scared that it could.” He squeezed me a little tighter. “I should have had more faith in what we have.”
“You can make it up to me…” I lifted my head and looked up at him.
“How?” He raised his eyebrows, and a curious expression spread across his face.
“Maybe overlook the fact that I had to change my Juul pod twice while you were gone?” I glanced at the table. “The second one was kind of your fault—you made me nervous!”
“Now, what kind of Daddy would I be if I let you get away with that kind of behavior?” He cocked his head to the side.
“The kind that really, really loves me?” I tried to put an innocent expression on my face, but it turned into more of a devious grin.
“I do really, really love you.” He nodded. “But you’re still going to get a spanking.”
“Come on, Daddy.” I whimpered, and a slight whine echoed in my throat. “I’m up to like twenty-five on my panties and twenty-five after they come down now—you can’t give me two spankings!”
“Two pods.” He shrugged. “Two spankings—we talked about this before I left.”
“I know, but…” I squirmed in my seat and suddenly remembered what I was wearing under my bathrobe. “I’m wearing something special for you—surely that will get me a few brownie points!”
“A bathrobe?” He chuckled. “I don’t think that’s very special.”
“No, look…” I stood up from the couch and let the bathrobe fall to the floor.
“Damn.” Arlo’s eyes lit up when he saw the lingerie. “That does make me want to forget all about the spanking you have coming.”
“So, we can forget about that and just go to the bedroom?” I raised my eyebrows and gave a playful but hopeful nod of my head.
“Not quite.” He narrowed his eyes and leaned forward so that he could put his hands on my hips.
“Please, Daddy!” I squirmed as he pulled me towards him.
“You do realize that these panties aren’t going to offer you very much protection, right?” He slid his hand around to the back and squeezed the see-through lace.
“I didn’t think I was going to get two spankings when I bought them!” I pouted as he guided me across his knee.
“Technically, it’s not going to be two spankings, naughty girl.” He patted my bottom. “It’s just going to be one spanking that lasts as long as two.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better!” I shook my head quickly. “Can’t you just spank me for one of them now and the other one tomorrow?”
“Oh, so you want to negotiate again?” He patted my bottom for the second time.
“If that helps!” I nodded.
“I’m willing to consider waiting until tomorrow for your second spanking—for the right offer.” He pulled his hand away.
“Um…” I tried to think of something and looked over my shoulder. “What kind of offer?”
“I think each spanking should be a little longer to compensate for it.” He shrugged. “That seems fair to me.”
“Okay.” I closed my eyes for a moment. “What about like—two more?”
“I’m going to give you two for trying to lowball me.” He let out a light growl.
SMACK! SMACK!
“Hey!” My eyes flew open, and I squirmed on his knee.
Wow, he was right. These panties don’t offer much protection at all…
“Are you going to lowball me again?” He narrowed his eyes.
“No sir!” I shook my head quickly.
“Then make a reasonable offer.” He let his hand rest on my ass—obviously ready to deliver a few more smacks if I didn’t give him a good response.
“How about this…” I took a deep breath. “What if we stick with the same number—fifty—but you pull my panties down for all of them?”
“Are you sure about that?” He tilted his head slightly. “That’s going to really start to sting before I’m done.”
I don’t think it’s going to be any worse than adding extra ones considering how thin these lace panties are.
“You were going to give me that many with my panties down anyway—if I got both spankings at once.” I tensed up but tried to stay firm with my choice.
“Yes, but I planned to go pretty easy on you—if I’m being honest.” His hand returned to my ass.
“You could go easy on me now…” I squirmed against his knee.
“If you’re negotiating for fifty with your panties down, then that is what you’re going to get.” He slid a finger into the top part of the lace. “It’s also what you’re going to get from now on when you ask for a new pod.”
“Wait, I wasn’t negotiating for that!” I shook my head quickly.
“Then maybe you’ll be a lot more motivated to quit after I’m done.” He tugged my panties down and exposed my ass.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
“Ow!” I tensed up and wiggled but stayed in position.
“Naughty girl…” Arlo exhaled sharply. “I wonder how many times I’m going to have to redden your ass before you finally do stop.”
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
“I think this spanking is going to be a lot more motivating than the others!” I bounced on his knee and whimpered.
“I should have been spanking you with your panties down the whole time, then.” He raised his hand.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
“No, I really wish I had them on right now!” I whined and bounced on h
is knee.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
“Wait!” I threw a hand back to block the next one. “It really stings, Daddy!”
“What have I told you about that hand?” He grabbed my wrist and lifted it. “Now I’m going to have to give you five more today—and tomorrow.”
“What?” I didn’t have time to process what he said before his hand came down again.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
My spanking was over, but I couldn’t even pretend that I wasn’t turned on. My ass was stinging, but my body was on fire. Arlo scooped me into his arms, and I saw that there was a visible wet spot on his pants where I had been lying while he punished me. There were times when I needed to cuddle after a spanking, but it wasn’t one of those times—and there was no way that his finger was going to be enough to give me what I craved. I immediately started kissing him and rubbing his cock through his pants.
“I need this a whole lot more than a spanking, Daddy…” I purred in his ear. “Can I have it?”
“Your damn right, you can.” Arlo started pulling on his belt.
Arlo pushed his pants down far enough for his engorged cock to be free, and I immediately sank into his lap. A gasp rushed from my throat as he went deep, and then I started riding him. It felt different—not just passionate—I just had a need that was burning me up. I didn’t even give myself a moment to slip out of my naughty girl headspace—that felt filthy and amazing at the same time. I bounced on Arlo’s cock and pleasure shot through my veins like I was about to come even though I wasn’t even there yet. There were other things teasing my thoughts—things that made me feel like a Dirty Freak, and I didn’t even care—I liked it.
“Tell me I’ve been a bad girl, Daddy.” I sank down on his cock and gasped into his ear.
“You have been a bad girl…” Arlo growled into my ear.
“Then punish me…” I pulled his hand around to my ass and rubbed against it. “Spank me, Daddy.”
My Ex Boyfriend’s Daddy Page 18
