by Gay, Gloria
“I miss my family and I miss you and Robert, dear Ellen,” Celia assured her. “I have benefited greatly from Mr. Welsh’s instruction and now feel confident painting in oils. I have been very fortunate in being taught oil technique by him.”
“I’m glad for you, Celia,” Ellen said. “You’re very talented and it would be a pity to have such talent wasted. I’m glad you are pursuing it in a serious way. I know how you must constantly resist pressure from your mother and from society.”
“The pressure is constant and annoying,” Celia agreed. “But I have learned to ignore it as if it did not exist.”
“No pressure from Robert, I’m sure,” said Ellen, as Robert joined them. “He has often told me how talented you are and how much he hopes you continue to pursue it.”
Celia’s heart skipped a beat as she looked at Robert and their eyes locked. She felt a connection to him that held strong across a room or close up and ceased to be fearful of meeting his eyes.
By her side Ellen’s voice cut across her thoughts. “It was a very enjoyable evening, Henrietta,” Ellen was saying. “Thank you for inviting us.”
“I’ll be glad to see you again when I return, Ellen,” said Celia, hugging her friend warmly. Then turning to Robert, she gave him her hand. He kissed it and then looked deep into her eyes. Celia felt his kiss clear down to her toes and felt she wanted to sit down before she toppled over.
Then the bell rang and Celia realized Liddell was not going to miss out on one moment of time left to her, since he appeared intent on pressing his suit. Nor was he going to leave the field free to someone else.
When Robert and Ellen had left Celia went back in her mind to try to examine at leisure some of the nuances and unspoken words.
* * *
Celia wanted to be alone with her thoughts and so closed her eyes, hoping Liddell would leave her in peace.
Robert had glanced at Liddell in a speculating way as Liddell’s eyes often fell on Celia. Had he perhaps wondered if Celia would accept Liddell?
And a pain crossed Celia’s heart at the thought that Caroline would stop at nothing to trap Robert into marriage.
Could she outlive that? When she thought of Robert she could think of him only as belonging to her. She believed they were meant for each other, yet fate stood between, bent on destroying anything between them.
She sighed, weighed down by the fear of an outcome she could see would be inevitable. Yet she still hoped; again she tried to discern in Robert’s words the love he had once professed to have for her. He had been warm toward her, He had sought her out and sat with her at the lodge. Had it been his idea to come or Ellen’s?
Would he find a way for them?
There was still a bond between her and Robert. Yet she could do nothing to strengthen it, for in so doing, she would be doing her family a treachery. They would lose the tenuous hold they had on a decent life, forever. And if this happened what would they do? Where would they go? And how would she be able to live with herself if that happened?
Yet her heart still carried the hope that Robert would find a way for them to be together as he had assured her.
* * *
“You haven’t been yourself since you saw Robert again, Celia,” Henrietta said, a worried frown on her face. “What is troubling, you dear?”
“Nothing. Nothing at all,” Celia responded.
“It doesn’t seem to me like ‘nothing’, Celia.” Henrietta shook her head.
“I’m just listless,” Celia responded, “Seeing Robert again was an anticlimax of sorts. It was not good for me to encounter him again.
“Did he speak to you?”
“Yes, we spoke,” Celia replied without looking at Henrietta.
“He cares deeply for you. It was obvious to me,” Henrietta asserted.
“And I for him. Yet even if he does, nothing has changed. The same barriers are still there.”
“I think you see this in a difficult way, Celia. What could the harm be in a betrothal to Lord Merrick? You said that your Uncle Worth told you he would not ask you and your family to leave, Celia.”
“Yes, Henrietta, but Uncle Worth said that although he would not ask us to leave, Caroline had promised she would make our life so difficult for us we would want to leave. He quite clearly told me that Caroline accused me of seeking Lord Merrick. He was emphatic.
“Henrietta, Uncle Worth asked for my promise that I would not have any more contact with either Robert or Helen. He assured me that this problem was disrupting his life, also.”
“Good Grief,” said Henrietta, “I never heard of such a thing!”
“I have no doubt that Caroline forced Uncle Worth to extract that promise from me, Henrietta. He looked uncomfortable at our meeting as he waited to hear my oath. He didn’t even look me in the eyes as he did so.”
“She really is an awful girl,” said Henrietta with a grimace.
“She just knows what she wants and what she wants is Robert,” Celia said.
“She can’t force Lord Merrick to fall in love with her, Celia. Robert’s in love with you. You can’t think of her wishes when deciding your future and what’s best for you.”
“I wasn’t thinking of Caroline when I made my decision, Henrietta, but rather of my family.”
“But have you thought this out thoroughly, Celia? As the wife of Lord Merrick you would have many resources with which to help your own family. If their situation at Rook’s End should become insupportable as a result of your marriage to Robert, surely they could live with you. Shelton is a large place!”
“Oh, Henrietta, how easy everything seems to you.”
“But you see it altogether too hard yourself, Celia,” Henrietta insisted.
“Do you think for one minute I would decide their future for them in such a cold-hearted way? And would I premeditate such a large responsibility for Robert? ‘Here, Robert, you can marry me, but along with me you must take Mama, Fred and Bella, to care for the rest of their lives.
“Besides, Robert’s father is extremely ill. His illness makes him ill-tempered.
“Robert’s time is in large part dedicated to him for he has become reclusive in his illness. And when I say reclusive I don’t mean he spends his time in his rooms. No, he is pushed about the lower rooms in his Bath chair. His humor has deteriorated so that he often shouts. He also insists that Robert go with him when he goes about in Bath.
“Helen told me she hardly recognizes her father anymore. Although I love Mama, I know that moving her in proximity to Robert’s father would be an uncomfortable clash.”
“And, Henrietta, at a dinner at Shelton Hall to which we were invited, I overheard Lord Shelton tell Robert that it was I who was causing problems in his house! ‘Miss Meade pressed you and Ellen to take her to London, so you went against my wishes and left me alone to cope,’ he said.”
“I see Caroline’s hand in this, Celia,” Henrietta said, shaking her head. “Lord Shelton could not have come up with such a thing on his own.”
“Yes, Henrietta, I saw Caroline’s hand in it, too. But you see, she has already set Lord Shelton against us with whatever it was she said to him.”
“Yet Lord Merrick and Lady Ellen sought you out here, Celia, so they must not have taken any of that into account. They, too, must have seen Caroline’s hand in their father’s animosity toward you.
“If Robert knew the reason for your refusal of him I’m certain he would be glad to know that was the reason, for that is within what he can actually resolve. It’s a huge estate, surely your family could be in one side of the house where they would not come into contact with the old earl. Why not let Robert be the one to choose? I think it’s unfair not to give him the choice.”
“I could never tell him that, Henrietta!”
“Instead, you must condemn yourself as well as him to a life of regret. You don’t seem to be the kind of girl who can love twice as intensely as you love Robert.”
“In that, at least, you are correct.�
�
“Then let me be the one to tell him.”
“No!” Celia turned to Henrietta in horror. “Henrietta, if you should ever decide to do that, know beforehand that it would fracture our friendship!”
“Oh, my dear,” Henrietta assured her quickly, “I would never dream of doing it without your consent. I value your friendship too much to put it to such a test!”
“Well, then, hug me, Henrietta, and let us talk of other things. I cannot bear to continue this discussion. Besides, she added, I think Robert already suspects what the reason for my refusal is.”
“I’m glad!” Henrietta said with a grin. “You have made me very happy with that disclosure.”
CHAPTER 18
Celia received a long letter from her mother the day before their journey. It went thus:
Dearest Daughter Celia,
Bella has been befriended by her cousin Caroline. Imagine my surprise!
Celia, who had been reclining on the couch as she read her mother’s letter now sat up on reading this sentence and re-read it again in astonishment. She continued reading:
We are, after all, her own family, though she had tried to deny it before. It proves, dear, what I have said all along, that Caroline would in the end see what a sweet and innocent girl our dear beautiful Bella is.
I fear, dear Celia, that as I had predicted, your absence has done no one any good, least of all to me. During the last few days Bella has distanced herself from me! I know that if you had been here this would not have happened. She is now Caroline’s constant companion! Can you imagine that, when before she feared and mistrusted Caroline? Sylvia is left discarded, with only me for company. Sylvia is not an unpleasant girl but I would find her company more comforting if it were not for the fact that my heart is breaking from Bella’s neglect. Celia, take care, you have been away from us for more than a month. Is that reasonable?
Celia read the rest of the letter quickly, finding another disturbing sentence near the end that made her sit up in alarm.
Caroline, Jack and Bella go everywhere together. Perhaps Caroline will not oppose an alliance between Jack and Bella since she is now doing everything to promote it. As you well remember, her attitude was the complete opposite before. It would of course be an advantageous marriage for Bella, although the circumstances of Jack’s income have never been clear to me even though I have made some inquiries about it—indirectly, of course. I asked Sylvia about it.
Sylvia, who is closer to me now than ever before, answered this question with a laugh, saying: “Don’t trouble yourself with it, Aunt, Jack is not going to marry Bella. He has no income.” What do you make of this, Celia?
“Oh, dear,” said Henrietta after Celia had read her the letter, “this proves that our source for information about Jack was more accurate than we wanted to believe. But since you leave tomorrow, Celia, you can stop Bella’s association with Caroline. Caroline’s influence on an innocent girl like Bella can be very damaging.”
“I’m filled with anxiety and foreboding, Henrietta,” Celia pressed her hands to her temples. I’m astounded that Bella is distancing herself from Mama when they have always been so close. I felt great distress in Mama’s letter.”
“I have noticed that Bella seems drawn to and influenced by people who show an interest in her,” Henrietta said.
“She often told me Caroline was dangerous and now she’s her constant companion!”
* * *
The family was awakened at dawn the following day with an express from Mrs. Meade.
The man, his cape wet from the ride, for it had rained during the night, was directed toward the kitchen where he was given hot tea and food while Celia went to light a lamp in the blue glow of dawn. She tore open the letter with trembling hands.
What could possibly warrant an express? She feared a death as she scanned her mother’s letter quickly:
Celia, my dear daughter; what I feared in my heart has come to pass. I am distraught! Two things of terrible import have happened at once. Bella has eloped with Jack! Your Uncle Worth is away in Liverpool so I had no one to turn to. The other, just as disquieting is the news sent to me by express that my cousin, Sir Hugh, calls me to his side immediately. The messenger told me he has but little time left to live and he must have me at his side! The letter he sent with the messenger was lost—only the urgency told him again and again by Sir Hugh came forth from the ashamed messenger, with the plea that I leave at once.
You cannot imagine how terribly upset I am. I am pulled to two tragedies at once and must choose between them. I implore you to come at once. I would be of no use in chasing Bella, for I would not know where to begin, although one thing I know for certain: I have found they are headed to London!
Her hands on the letter trembling, Celia continued reading:
I found myself also with no one to comfort me in my distress or to offer to make the journey with me to Farley Hall. You know, Celia, how terrified I am of traveling alone by post and how likely to lose the luggage or miss the connection. And although Sylvia offered to go with me, Caroline very haughtily ordered her to accompany her to Bath as they had planned. I cannot help but think that Caroline had something to do with the elopement for she did not sound surprised or even interested. Can you believe she made the galling comment that Bella was disgracing Jack!
Celia, I will definitely have a talk with Worth when he returns from Liverpool. Caroline’s attitude has gone from disdain to outright insult. I’m beside myself. Come at once on receiving this missive. I have applied to Ellen for help and that sweet, kind girl has offered to undertake the journey to Sir Hugh’s in her coach with me. We will be taking only Ellen’s maid with us for Nellie is very ill with a cold and cannot travel.
I am of two minds as to the elopement: should we interfere and separate them when they may have lived one night together when we catch up with them? Or should we let things take their course? I have never been good at decisions and all this will be the death of me. I leave at once for Farley Hall even as I write to you. Come at once, for Fred is in London, I know not where, with his cousin Tom. You are a brave girl and will deal with this trouble with Bella in a far more intelligent manner than I would. Please write to me by express at Farley Hall if you cannot come and apprise me of your plans concerning Bella. I will be in touch with you from Farley Hall and will write to you to Henrietta’s home and hope this missive reaches you post haste. Adieu!
Celia’s strangled sobs shook her shoulders as she finished the letter.
Henrietta, in night rail and cap sat close to her and tried to calm her down.
“I should not have left them. “I have failed them.”
“You can’t blame yourself for sister’s failings, Celia,” pressed Henrietta. “My goodness, it was only one month that you were gone!”
“I must leave at once!” Celia stood up, her face wet with tears.“I can’t wait until tomorrow! It falls on me to find Bella in London!”
“Yes. Of course you must,” Henrietta said soothingly. “I shall go to London with you. You cannot travel alone in the state you are in. I’ll consult with Liddell. He knows London well and can advise us about the hotels Jack would likely favor. From what we have deduced he must have very little money at his disposal.”
* * *
“Liddell has offered us his carriage and he will accompany us,” Henrietta informed Celia upon reading a letter from Liddell. The letter had reached Henrietta just as they were packed and ready to go. “He will be here within the hour. He assures me he may also be of help in locating Bella.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful!” But how shall we find them in such a great city?”
“Liddell knows London inside out,” Henrietta assured her. That’s where his shop is located and he spends more time there than visiting with his father. He is very resourceful and knows many people. I’m sure he will find a way.”
Had it not been a night of full moon they would not have been able to travel by night.
&nb
sp; Celia sat for a few minutes while the carriage was being loaded with their luggage and composed two short notes for her mother; one she sent to Rook’s End and the other to Farley Hall. Either one would be sure to reach her. In them she told her mother that she was headed to London with Henrietta and her professor’s son, Liddell, to catch up with Jack and Bella. She tried to reassure her that everything would turn out well and not to worry. But she could not make the words sound convincing. Her life had suddenly turned into a nightmare and she boarded the carriage aided by Liddell with a heavy heart.
* * *
For a long time Celia, Henrietta and Liddell discussed the events outlined in Mrs. Meade’s letter in great excitement, going over them in careful detail and tried to surmise from the words a reason for Jack and Bella’s actions.
The girls also spent some time talking about Sir Hugh’s sudden request to have Mrs. Meade at his side. What could have brought such a softening in his attitude?
On all sides they were surrounded by mystery and they were anxious to have their doubts and fears assuaged. Liddell was invaluable in offering sober practical advice and helped them in finding answers to the puzzles. He was a comforting male presence against the menacing dark night outside the carriage and Celia was grateful to have both he and Henrietta to turn to in her trouble.
None of this would have happened if she had remained at the house when her mother pleaded with her not to leave. Had she listened to her mother, she might have averted this calamity.
Oh, that she were able to turn back the clock and do things differently!
But what good were these reproaches? And what could have brought Jack to do such a selfish and unmanly act?
Faces and events whirled inexorably in Celia’s mind until her head pounded with them and no explanations or solutions presented themselves. How grateful she was to Ellen for coming to her mother’s aid; she would be forever in her debt. And thinking of this Celia realized that not only was Bella’s behavior a disgrace but that many people must now be aware of it, even Robert. She knew well enough that Ellen seldom moved in any direction without consulting beforehand with her brother.
