by Robyn M Ryan
A devilish grin spread across her face. “Love you more.”
Tom showered and changed into clothes suitable for work before walking to the main house. The happy sounds of toddler chatter greeted him and found his brother in the kitchen, preparing a meal for Jenna and Daniel.
“Discovering hidden talents?” Tom teased as he kissed Daniel, then Jenna.
“Hey, welcome back. Caryn’s fighting a headache, so I suggested she take a nap and leave the dinner to me.”
“Need some help?”
Andrew picked up the plates for Tom to view. “These two eat everything.”
“Except peas.” Tom tried to hold back a smug expression.
“That’s on Caryn. Says she hated peas, so it looks like it’s genetic.” Andrew set the plates on the trays, then prepared their sippy cups.
“Caryn fighting a migraine?”
“I hope not. She’s had so few since these rug rats joined the family, I almost forgot about them.” Tom saw Andrew look at him, but his brother didn’t bother to hide his smirk. “You look like you’ve spent a week on a beach.”
“Sanibel’s perfect. Highly recommend it for a get-away. How’d you like St. John’s?”
“Very different from our other tropical trips, that’s for sure. The island and beach—beyond my expectations. Trying to work in activities during the twins’ schedule? Not so easy. But we enjoyed family togetherness—much needed since our schedule’s crazy the rest of this season.”
“Yeah, the league makes you pay for that bye-week.” Tom caught Daniel’s cup when he dropped it with excited chatter. “Before I go, could you check on Caryn—just in case she has a migraine brewing?”
“Sure, just watch where you stand if you don’t want to change your clothes.” Andrew took the sippy cup and placed it on the counter. “Not now,” he said to Daniel’s indignant protest.
Tom chuckled as father and son adopted the same facial expression. “You have your hands full with my boy.”
Lauren spotted Cassie’s new ring immediately after her “welcome home” hug. She held Cassie’s arm and her other hand grasped her ring finger. Cassie saw the knowing smile cross Lauren's lips.
“So, you came home with a ring? That’s stunning.”
“I love it. Wait until you see all the colors it reflects.”
“Am I correct in assuming that’s a gift from Tom?” Lauren raised her eyebrows expectantly.
“Correct. I guess you’d call it a commitment ring.”
“A commitment, as in love?”
Cassie tried to keep her neck and face from turning a splotchy rose. “Yes…I mean we love each other—and we…eh…said we want a forever love. But Lauren, you know I worry something will change ‘forever’ to heartbreak.”
Lauren laughed. “Don’t overthink it like I did with Marty. Just let the feelings wash over you. I’m happy for you, Cassie. I told you Tom’s a keeper.”
“He asked me to move in with him.” When Cassie saw Lauren’s momentary frown, she added. “He mentioned looking for something close to the hospital and the campus.”
“He’s moving out of the guest apartment?”
“Maybe. I don’t know the time frame.” Cassie shrugged. “I can’t stay at Andrew and Caryn’s home, and Tom wants us to spend more time together.”
“I can understand that.” Lauren’s eyes gleamed mischievously. “You’ll hear no objections from me.” She paused a moment, then changed the subject. “Just so you know, Caryn misses you…a lot. I got the impression that she’s apprehensive about the next road trip. Kelly, Terri, and I will rotate helping her, but it’s not like having you right there.”
“I wish I could help her, but you heard Andrew, Lauren. I can’t go over there knowing Andrew doesn’t trust me or want me near Jenna and Daniel.” Cassie pinched the bridge of her nose. “Is she looking for someone new? Or thinking about Amelie?”
“Not that I know of.” Lauren shrugged. “They’re hardly back in town, and the road trip’s not until next week. They’ll work things out.”
“It’s not like Tom and I talked about moving tomorrow. We haven’t even looked for a place.” Cassie glanced out the window and watched a few birds perch on a feeder. “Besides, he may change his mind now that he’s home. Especially if Caryn needs his help.”
From the corner of her eye, Cassie caught Lauren’s frown.
“Remember, no overthinking, Cass.”
Don’t overthink…easy to say, just tell my brain that. The conversation with Lauren replayed in Cassie’s mind as she sorted through her clothes. An idea that sounded practical while walking on a beach looked different in actuality. She didn’t expect Tom to immediately begin looking for an apartment. Especially not if Caryn’s feeling nervous about that road trip. He won’t put any additional stress on her. I’d help her if I could. Tom may decide not to mention any plans to move. He may realize that’s impractical—I’d understand. She tossed the dirty clothes in her laundry basket and wished they were still in Sanibel…Paradise. Fantasyland. Escape from real life. Should I research universities in Fort Myers?
Her math textbook caught her attention. Catching up on classwork—the perfect antidote to overthinking. Especially when trying to solve for x, y, or z…if it doesn’t put me to sleep. She opened the book to the chapters covered while she played in paradise. Instant reality check.
61
Her mother’s ringtone jolted Cassie from deep concentration on her math assignment. Another call so soon? Good excuse for a break. She pushed the hair away from her face and swallowed a yawn before accepting the call.
“Mom, hi. How’s everything in Vancouver?”
“Same as yesterday and the day before. You know how it is.” Hearing her mother chuckle indicated a good mood. “A package from the university in Toronto arrived for you. I hope you don’t mind, but I opened it.”
“What kind of package?” Cassie’s stomach churned as she waited for her mom’s response.
“You’re accepted—again—for summer or fall semester. They’ve offered a work-study program and a substantial scholarship. I thought I’d sign on your behalf and return the document right away.”
“Sign what?”
“The acceptance form for the work-study and the scholarship.”
“No! Mom, please send everything to me. I’ll look it over—I haven’t decided what or where I’ll study.” Cassie steeled herself for her mother’s reaction.
“I would say this is an offer you can’t refuse, Cassandra, and an extraordinary opportunity.”
Cassie hated when her mother used that tone. Like she’s talking to a preschooler. “Mom, my decision. Please, just forward the package to me—and any other mail you receive. I’ll take care of it.”
Cassie heard the light knock on the door and waved Lauren into the room. She mouthed “mother” as she listened to her response.
“Have you discussed your future with your father?”
“Yes, I’ve told him the same thing I told you.” She cringed at her mother’s loud sigh. “Could you just overnight everything? I’ll go over it and let Lauren look at it, too.”
“Do you promise not to ignore this until it’s too late?”
“Yes, I promise. But I am not saying that I’ll decide right away.” She rolled her eyes when she met Lauren’s gaze. “Yes, Lauren’s right here.” Lauren held her hand out for the phone. “I think she wants to talk with you.”
“Yes, I’m interested in hearing how she enjoyed the house overflowing with Dave’s family.”
“Before I let you go, thanks for calling, and please hug my grandmother. I miss you.”
Lauren took the phone and winked at Cassie as she greeted her sister. With hand gestures, Lauren indicated she’d return the phone after they chatted.
Taking a deep breath, Cassie fell back on the bed. She shoved her textbook and notes aside, then stared at the ceiling.
Not too bad, two “good” calls in a row. I know Mom expects me to accept the of
fer and move to Toronto—just like Lauren…last time we talked, she sounded positive about the courses I’m taking here.
Does she think if it’s not a Canadian university, the credits don’t count? A year ago, I would have been over the moon, receiving a ticket to leave Vancouver. Now, I don’t want to leave Tampa or not explore possibilities in Fort Myers. If I accept the scholarship in Toronto, the countdown begins until the day I leave Tom. He says he’ll wait for me. But do I want to live so far away until I get my degree? Now that I know how he feels about me, it’s so much harder to consider leaving.
By the time Tom’s shift ended, Sanibel Island felt like a distant memory, a mirage in the desert. He tapped a message to Cassie before he started his car. He knew she’d probably fallen asleep, but this would greet her in the morning. He wished he could come home to her every night. We spent a week in paradise—can we make our own paradise here? About time I’d manned up and told Cassie how I felt…then, her response—yeah, a moment I won’t forget. But, does she believe it’s a forever kind of love, not just words? The last thing I want—make her feel pressured or overwhelmed—especially with her options for next year. Or worse, decline an opportunity that takes her away from Tampa. I can wait, she can have all the time she needs. We can visit each other frequently, no matter where she lives. But, will Cassie believe in us?
He felt Cassie’s absence the minute he entered his apartment—the sight of her head peeking over the back of the chair or sofa to greet him with a sheepish smile. She always insisted she hadn’t fallen asleep, and he always pretended to believe her. He looked forward to their conversations when she joined him in the kitchen for a snack or meal. He knew he’d miss the times she studied in his apartment, especially the “distractions.”
Tom usually prepared breakfast for the family any weekend day he didn’t work. Surprised to find the kitchen empty, he looked in the refrigerator and pulled out eggs, bacon, milk, cheese, and fresh fruit. Andrew’s voice startled him.
“Our personal chef back at work?”
Tom chuckled. “If you wish. Any requests?”
“Just the usual game-day menu.”
“Gotcha…I’ll make a double batch of eggs and bacon. You want pancakes, too?” Tom looked at his brother.
“I won’t refuse it if you make them.” Andrew poured a glass of orange juice before leaning against the counter.
Tom pulled ingredients from the pantry as he asked, “Caryn feeling better? No migraine?”
“Hopefully, no migraine, and she slept well last night. I told her to sleep in—I’ll handle peanut-duty.”
“They still like scrambled eggs?” Tom set two eggs aside for the twins.
“As of yesterday. We never know with Jenna, but Danny will eat everything.”
“That’s my boy.” Tom glanced at his brother. “Cassie and I talked about getting an apartment together.”
Andrew nodded and showed no surprise. “So, things going very well for you two?”
“Better than very well.”
Tom watched the smirk cross Andrew’s face. “Congratulations. You know you don’t have to find something new. There’s plenty of room here.”
“Yeah, about that—I don’t think Cassie would feel comfortable living here. We talked about looking for a place near the hospital and campus.”
“Before you make a decision, I owe her a huge apology.”
Tom didn’t respond—he just raised his eyebrows.
“You probably know I went off on her the day of Danny’s accident.”
“I know the gist of it.” Tom’s gaze locked on his brother’s eyes. “And you’re apologizing for…”
“…blaming her for an accident. Accusing her of getting distracted when she should have been watching the twins.” Andrew held Tom’s gaze. “Telling her she’s not welcome in this house.”
“And you’ve changed your mind? Why?”
“Time and perspective, Tom.” Andrew paused and drained his orange juice. “Instead of thanking her for saving Daniel’s life, I blew up at her. She deserved nothing I said.”
“No, she didn’t. Though, she may let go of her guilt if you talk with her.”
Andrew nodded. He placed his cup in the dishwasher as they heard the twins fuss. “I plan to apologize and thank her for saving his life. I hope I can talk to her today.”
“Good. You need some help with your children?”
“I’ll get them. If you can have their breakfast ready, they’ll begin the day happy.”
“On it.”
62
Dave patiently explained solving Cassie’s favorite quadratic equations again. “Let’s try one more time.”
“Why can I solve the equations with you, but when I’m alone, I make mistakes?”
Dave chuckled. “Lack of self-confidence. You can do this, Cass. Maybe you can jot down the order in which you solve the components of an equation before you begin?”
The doorbell rang, and Dave excused himself. "Try it, kiddo.”
“Okay.” Still don’t know the benefit of this in real life—Dave’s told me the order repeatedly. Cassie took a sheet of paper and began listing the steps to solve equations. She’d barely started when Dave returned to the room. “Andrew wants to speak with you.”
“About what?” Cassie felt her heart pound.
Dave offered his hand as she stood. “Relax, Cassie. It’s nothing to worry about.”
“How do you know?” Cassie looked at him and saw the smug expression on his face.
“Because he knows I’ll beat his ass if he upsets you.”
Cassie’s laugh sounded only a little forced. “Thanks…I think.”
Cassie fought to control her emotions before she met Andrew’s eyes.
“Can I get either of you something to drink?” Dave offered. Both shook their heads, and he nodded toward the porch. “Why don’t you guys talk out there? Give you some privacy.”
“Thanks for seeing me, Cassie,” Andrew said. Cassie studied his expression. No anger, and he almost appears nervous…?
“No problem. How are Danny and Jenna? And Caryn?”
“All well.” After they both sat, he continued, “We’ve had absolutely no issues with Daniel. No cough, no fever, and guess who wanted to jump in the pool in St. John’s? No fear.”
Cassie nodded as Andrew looked at her. “I want to apologize, Cassie.” His blue eyes locked with hers. “I’m sorry I blamed you for Daniel’s accident.”
“He was my responsibility.”
“Yes, but accidents happen despite people’s best intentions or efforts. It’s not your fault Daniel fell into the pool. I should have thanked you for saving his life—for knowing what to do and not panicking. Instead, I accused you, told you it was your fault, and probably more that I don’t care to remember.” Andrew paused and Cassie watched as he took a deep breath, his eyes reflecting his emotions. “I’m sorry for putting you through that, Cassie. I know you love the twins and would never act carelessly with them. They ask for you every day—you’ve had such an impact on their lives. I’m not expecting you to accept my apology, but I do want you to know that no one blames you. You’re welcome in our home any time, any day. I sincerely hope you’ll visit the twins soon—and Caryn, who’s miserable without you.”
Cassie nodded as she tried to contain her emotions. She pinched the bridge of her nose to stop the tears that threatened. “There’s nothing to forgive, Andrew. You had every right to be furious with me. I don’t blame you for anything you said.” She paused for a deep breath. “Thank you for telling me you realize it was an accident and no longer blame me. I do appreciate that, but I’ll never forget Danny almost drowned on my watch. That’s the truth; I can’t forget that or forgive myself.” She swiped her hand across her face.
Andrew reached to grasp her hand. “Please, Cassie, accidents happen. If I can admit that, so should you. If you think you can’t forgive yourself, please remember no one—not even me and my inexcusable temper—believes it’s your
fault. We’re incredibly grateful you knew what to do…that you took those courses on your own time just in case a situation occurred. We didn’t ask you to give up your free time to take them. Like Caryn said, if you or Tom hadn’t been there, we would have had to wait for the paramedics.”
“So…are you signed up for the courses?”
“Caryn has registered. I’ll take mine after the season ends.” He squeezed her hand. “I meant what I said about everyone missing their ‘Ca Ca.’ Please, consider visiting us soon.”
Cassie laughed even as she choked on her tears. “Thank you, that means a lot.”
He stood and shook his head when she started to follow him. “I’ll let myself out. Before I go, know also that we could not be happier that you and Tom found each other. No pressure, but Caryn really hopes to have a sister in the family soon.”
When Cassie had the chance to relay her conversation with Andrew via phone, Tom didn’t express surprise.
“I told him ‘it’s about time’ when he said he needed to apologize to you. I know he’s sincere,” Tom said. “Both he and Caryn worry you’ll avoid them and not visit the twins.”
“It’s just hard, Tom. I’m not comfortable walking into their house. I miss Daniel and Jenna terribly, but I’m not sure I can look at the pool without it haunting me.”
Tom paused for a long moment. “Just a head’s up—Caryn’s going to invite you, Lauren, and Dave for dinner. Small get together, just the six of us. Maybe that can ease some of your anxiety. But don’t tell her I said anything. You’re my date, just don’t leave me hanging.”
“I won’t. Maybe with that group—and if I don’t look at the pool—I can relax. Maybe help break the ice?”
“Yes, I hope so. I miss you in my apartment. I want you to come and go whenever you want. Use my office to study. Surprise me when I come home. Wake up with you next to me. I told Andrew he’s not off the hook until that happens.”
