Amber frowned; her heart broke for Patrick. She understood that kind of trauma, that hole that you get sucked into during the grieving process. “I totally know where he’s coming from. When Peter was killed, it was the most awful, terrifying thing that I had ever been through. I wasn’t prepared for anything like that.”
Maggie reached for Amber’s hand. She didn’t realize that she was starting to shake and that tears were falling down her cheeks. Two years had passed, but she still had a difficult time talking about his death. Patrick had double that time to process everything, and he still struggled; it was something that many people didn’t quite understand themselves, let alone knew how to counsel others who were going through it. Death and grief were not easy; whether it was expected or sudden, moving on and coping proved to be almost more challenging.
“It’s a hard thing, Maggie,” she was finally able to say as she tried to sip her coffee, the warm liquid hitting the emotional lump that was forming in her throat.
Maggie gave her a sympathetic look. “Just don’t allow Patrick to push you away. He’ll try, trust me. He does it to everyone he cares about.”
Chapter Eighteen
Patrick
“Just how long are you going to keep this up?” Patrick asked. Daniel glared at him and continued hammering. It had been several days of no speaking, no jokes, or relentless teasing, nothing. It was actually starting to bother Patrick. He figured after their fight, if you would even call it that, and that Daniel would cool down and act normal. Not the case, no, Daniel was completely ignoring Patrick to the best of his ability. They had been out at another job site, and the ride there had been filled with uncomfortable silence.
Daniel refused to answer Patrick. “This is ridiculous.” Patrick started to storm away. He didn’t have time for this nonsense.
“Maybe if you would actually apologize, people would want to talk to you,” Daniel called after him, causing Patrick to stop in his tracks. Apologize? What did he do?
“What?” Patrick turned around fast.
“You know, say you’re sorry.” Daniel moved forward.
“Why do I have to? What did I do?”
Daniel rolled his eyes. “It’s the way you treat everyone, like they haven’t got a clue in their damn heads how it is for you. You treat everyone like crap the second they want to help you or if they are concerned.”
“Oh, come on, I only ask that people leave me alone,” Patrick argued.
“People? Is that all we are to you then?” Daniel challenged him. “Because it’s funny, I thought we were your family. Would you want your sons treating you like this?”
Patrick considered this, he tried to reason that he would want to give them their space and privacy, but in his heart he knew differently. Of course he would want to know what was happening in Finn or Connor’s life; he would want to give advice and help them. That’s when it started clicking together, and Patrick saw that it was more than his family pestering him for information and trying to make him talk. They wanted to help him. He knew that they cared, but he just didn’t see how they could help him. How could they offer advice when not one of them had been through what he had? Except for one.
“I would want my sons to come to me. You’re right, Daniel.” Patrick lowered his eyes and stared at the ground, focusing on some stray pebbles and bits of weeds trying to grow through the cracked concrete.
“Really?” Daniel seemed surprised.
“I’m sorry, especially to you. You have always tried to not get in my way. You and Liam have been good brothers to me. Far better than I have been to you guys,” Patrick admitted.
“You know what?” Daniel started as he put his hand on Patrick’s shoulder. He darted his attention up toward the brilliant blue sky.
“What?” Patrick asked, a little confused.
“We need to go fishing. Fishing fixes everything.”
***
Amber
Amber was busy grilling up some onions to put on a burger when she heard someone come into the kitchen. She turned and saw her father.
“Dad, what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to make sure everything was still standing.” He laughed as he stretched his arm across her shoulders.
“You feeling okay?” Amber was concerned he was pushing himself too hard. It was wonderful seeing him, but she just wanted him to rest and get better.
“Today, yes, I feel good. Good enough to check on you ladies.” He winked as her mother entered the kitchen.
“Dean, you should be home resting,” Lynn scolded, but her eyes glowed with happiness.
“Yeah, you two just want to run this show by yourselves. Too bad, this is my kitchen,” he teased. That was true. He had always been the cook; he had a passion for food. That’s where Amber got her talent for creating amazing dishes with ease. Her mother was the smile behind the service; her sweetness is what kept the customers happy, while her father’s great food kept them coming back.
“How’s it been today?” her father asked as he stared at the grill. Amber moved the caramelized onions onto a patty waiting on a plate.
“Well, with it being Moose Days, it’s been a little quiet. No surprise,” Lynn answered. Moose Days was a fun carnival type of festival that happened every July. Vendors from the surrounding area would set up booths to sell their wares, and there were food trucks galore. Even the Saucy Gents, the famous BBQ sauce and BBQ truck, came all the way up to Birch Valley to partake in the event. There were rides and games, and musicians would perform on the giant stage in the park; it was really a wonderful thing for the community. It was best treat to celebrate the summer, and Amber remembered eating cotton candy with her friends, riding the Ferris wheel, splashing in the small river that ran through the park, running in the lush grass with bare feet. She was excited to take Dylan that evening after they closed the diner.
“You guys going to go tonight?” Amber asked as she handed off the fully dressed burger to her mother.
“We might, huh, Dean?”
He eagerly nodded. It was great seeing him looking more like her dad, the guy who wasn’t trying to fight cancer.
“I’m going to take Dylan. I think he’ll enjoy it.” Dylan was in the lobby wiping a couple tables and assisting his grandmother.
“Oh, I bet he will. You loved it every year.” Amber could see her father was itching to cook.
“Dad, do you mind making this next order? I need to take a quick break,” Amber asked as she went to untie her apron. She didn’t need a break, but she could tell her father wanted to be in front of his grill, doing what he did best.
He smiled at her, winked, and quickly grabbed a nearby hanging apron. She sent a silent prayer to God, thanking him for healing her father. She knew it wouldn’t be long before he was back at the diner.
“Where are you going?” her mother asked as Amber walked past the counter.
“On a little break.”
“What about the order I just gave you?” Lynn’s face twisted in confusion.
“Mom, he’s got it.” Amber tried to assure her mother. This was good for her dad, to feel like he was normal again. It was a terrible thing to be ruled by a sickness, having the threat of death hanging over you, and this gave him even more of a reason to fight and get well. He loved being in the diner. He was needed, and sometimes that reason alone was enough to push a person to pull through.
***
The air was permeated with the smells of fried fair food and sweet kettle corn that was being cooked in an open copper vat. The sun was low in the sky, allowing the brilliantly colorful lights of all the rides to illuminate the park. Laughter and screams echoed loudly, and music played from the center stage, which sounded like some type of bluegrass country, but it was perfect for the event. People were out dancing, eating, and just enjoying themselves. Children were weaving in and out of the crowds, faces painted, clutching balloons with sticky hands. Amber soaked it all in. This was one of her favorite things about Birch Valle
y.
“Isn’t this awesome, Dylan?” Amber asked as they sat at the bank of the river, watching the swarm of people amid the flurry of activity and listening to the happy sounds of Birch Valley. Their feet soaked in the cool running water. She sipped her huckleberry lemonade she had treated herself to, savoring the sweet flavor. This was what summer was all about.
“It’s pretty cool, Mom,” he replied as he chewed on a foot-long corn dog.
“So you want to go on anymore rides or do you want to get ice cream later?” Amber offered. She wanted her son to get the full experience.
“Yeah, let’s go on some more rides and maybe hit up some of the games.”
“You’re on.” Amber was giddy to be sharing this fun time with her son. She hadn’t felt this happy in such a long time, and it was great seeing Dylan’s face light up at everything he saw. This was good for them; they’d needed this. It was wonderful just for the two of them to spend this much-needed time together. They ran into her parents earlier, but they hadn’t stayed too long, as her father looked exhausted but claimed he was fine. She worried he was using up all the energy he was finally getting back and begged him not to overdo it. He simply hugged her and told her to have a good time. Now that he was back home resting, her mind was at ease, and she was savoring every last morsel of fun she could squeeze out of the evening.
***
Maggie
“We need to see if they have any baby blankets,” Maggie told Rachel as they walked through the grassy aisle lined with vendors. “Mom said she came earlier with Dad and Grandpa Paddy, and she mentioned the Belsky family had a booth set up.”
“I wish I knew what we were having. I have wait until next month for my ultrasound,” Rachel complained as she sipped on her lemonade.
They all were at Moose Days at the large park in the center of town. Michael and her brothers had taken off with the kids and were visiting the carnival side of the fair. This suited Maggie just fine; this allowed her and Rachel to browse the booths and spend some quality pregnant girl time together.
“You don’t want to be surprised?”
Rachel shook her head. “God, I have no patience. I was like this at Christmas. I always wanted to know. This is like way worse.” They both laughed as they stopped at a booth to browse a table that displayed homemade jewelry.
“It’s like the ultimate surprise, and it was so exciting to find out on that day. It totally beats Christmas.”
“See, I figure I’m going to be in so much pain that I won’t enjoy the surprise. Plus, you know me, I like to plan things. I want to know how to decorate the nursery. Besides, I have two I have to plan for now,” Rachel commented as she lifted up a silver pair of dangly earrings. “How much for these?” she asked the woman seated across from the table under the white tent. After hearing the price, she fished out her cash and purchased them. Turning to Maggie, she said, “Aren’t these pretty?”
“Very. I like these.” Maggie held up green beaded hoops. “I’ll take these, please,” she told the woman.
They continued to walk along the aisle, pointing out things that caught their eye. “Oh there’s the Belsky booth,” Maggie said. She saw Hannah smoothing some quilts that were hung on a rack. “Hi, Hannah.”
“Oh, hello. How are you ladies today?” Hannah asked both Rachel and Maggie as they stood looking at the quilts.
“We’re great. I have been telling Rachel all about the beautiful quilts you make.”
Hannah blushed. “Are you looking for ones for a nursery?”
Both Rachel and Maggie nodded in agreement. “Yes, I love this one.” Maggie held up a pastel yellow quilt with delicate blue flowers. The attention to detail was impeccable. “This is gorgeous.”
“I really wish I knew what Liam and I were having. These are really lovely,” Rachel commented as she examined several quilts. One was a rose pink, the other a cornflower blue.
“Hi,” Hannah’s sister, Nina, said as she walked up to the tent with Daniel in tow. “Look who I found, Hannah.”
Maggie watched as Hannah blushed again and darted her eyes away. Nina was wearing shorts that were indeed dangerously short, revealing long, thin, tan legs. She had a rainbow-striped halter top that left little to the imagination. Her long, almost bleached blonde hair was hanging loosely on her petite shoulders.
Daniel smiled at Maggie and Rachel, then turned toward Hannah. “Hi, Hannah, how’s it going?”
“Good,” she replied nervously.
Daniel moved next to Maggie and looked at the quilt she was admiring. He met Hannah’s eyes and asked. “Did you make these?”
Nina slithered over to him and gently pried his hand away from the homespun material. “All she does is sew these stupid things.”
“I think they’re pretty nice, actually,” Daniel shot back lightly.
Nina flipped her hair, annoyed at the lack of attention, and looped her arm through Daniel’s. “You should go get ice cream with me.”
“Um, sure, I guess,” Daniel replied as he shrugged his shoulders.
Hannah stood there, frozen and quiet as she watched her sister. Maggie looked at Daniel, who seemed completely unaware of the obvious flirtation from Nina and the ill effect it had on Hannah.
Nina practically dragged Daniel away. He gave a wave to Rachel and Maggie and told them he would see them later. Maggie rolled her eyes with annoyance. She despised girls like that; she knew that Nina wasn’t really interested in her brother, but it was apparent that she just wanted to rub it in her sister’s face that she could scoop up any guy and have him do anything she wanted. Maggie had seen the envy in Nina’s eyes when Daniel was complimenting Hannah’s work.
“Is she always like that?” Rachel asked. Maggie covered her hand over her mouth, trying to stifle the laughter. She was surprised that Rachel didn’t mince words and called out the obvious.
Hannah sighed and her eyes seem to follow Nina and Daniel. “Well, she’s use to getting whatever she wants, even if she doesn’t really want it.”
“I’m sorry, that was so rude of me. It wasn’t my place,” Rachel apologized.
Maggie patted her back. “You just said what we were all thinking.”
Hannah offered her a half smile. “She’s right, but it’s nothing new. So were you interested in a quilt today, or maybe you would like me to make one special?” Hannah diverted the topic of conversation.
“I want this yellow one. It’s beautiful and will work if this little one is a boy or a girl.” Maggie rubbed her belly.
Hannah carefully removed the quilt from the rack, gingerly folding it and placing it in a large bag. “What about you?” she asked Rachel.
“You know, I find out the gender next month. Would you be willing to make me two when I find out?”
“Two?” Hannah cocked her head to the side.
“She’s having twins,” Maggie proudly announced.
“Really? Oh, that’s wonderful news.” Hannah’s face lit up with surprise. “You just tell me when you know what you’re having, and I will make something special for you.”
“Aww, that’s so sweet, thank you, Hannah,” Rachel said.
“Well, I’d better go find Michael and the rest of the gang. Thanks again, Hannah. I can’t wait to put this in the nursery.”
“I’m so glad, and please, if you need anything else made, don’t hesitate to ask.” Hannah gave Maggie a quick hug and then hugged Rachel.
“Hannah, I will be letting you know when I find out. Now, I’m jealous that Maggie has one.”
“Yeah, but you get two,” Maggie reminded her.
“Good point.”
“Uh oh, I see Mel.” Maggie started laughing as her daughter ran up to her, who was practically dragging an enormous plush moose.
“Mommy, look what Daddy won for me,” Melanie squealed excitedly. Michael shrugged and gave Maggie a lopsided grin.
“Now how are we going to fit that in the car?” Maggie asked, waving goodbye to Hannah, who was shaking her head
at the ridiculously large prize.
***
Patrick
After he carried each of his boys into the house, completely exhausted and tuckered out from the long and happy day at the park festival, Patrick found he was more than ready to retire to bed. The day had been fun; he would admit that. He enjoyed the time he’d spent with his brothers, it’d reminded him so much of his childhood, and he knew his sons loved every second at the carnival. As he yawned and stretched, a lingering thought that had been pestering him most of the day cropped up again—Amber. He still hadn’t talked to her in almost a week. Patrick wasn’t quite sure what to do, he’d avoided the diner, and the nagging guilt was starting to get to him.
“It’s okay, Patrick…you need to move on. You promised me.” He shot straight up in his bed, his eyes searching through the blackness of his room. Beth’s voice, he heard it, he was sure of it. Patrick hadn’t been dreaming about her, but he heard her voice. There were no nightmares accompanying her voice, no sharp or blurry images of her, but he’d heard her, hadn’t he?
She wanted him to move on, to remember his promise to her. Patrick lay back down, staring up through the darkness at his bedroom ceiling. Maybe it was the thoughts he had before bed, perhaps it was from missing Amber, because it was starting to kill him to not hear her voice or see her smile, or touch her. He needed to touch her. He hated this empty feeling of longing, and that was why he couldn’t be in a relationship. He had protected his heart from feeling anything for over four years, and to have someone penetrate through that thick, calloused wall so quickly scared him. What if something happened to her? Could he handle going through another cycle of soul shattering grief? No, there was no way he could do this all over again. No, Amber was getting too close, making him feel too much.
Promise or no promise, Beth was asking for too much. How could she honestly expect him to move on, to find a mother for their boys? She was their mother. How was she able to lay there, literally dying and have enough sense to implore him to not shut his heart out, to love again? What if the tables had been turned, what if it were him, lying there, broken and uttering his final pleas, would he have been able to ask her to go out and find a replacement? He didn’t honestly know. Patrick only knew that he was the one left behind. He had been asked to promise her, and the moment he did, Beth closed her eyes and the machines started to hum a distinct sound he would never forget. She was gone.
Patrick's Promise (Cloverleaf #3) Page 19
