“Yeah, well, I’m not interested.” The second the words were said, he almost regretted them. He knew it was a lie. If only they were true and he could make himself believe them. He just had to force himself, but that was hard when a twelve-year-old boy ran up to you with a bright and childlike smile, carrying a bucket of frogs.
“Patrick, check these frogs out.” Dylan’s voice was filled with excitement. Melanie stood next to him, her proud and confident smile sitting on her dirt-smudged face. Finn and Connor scurried up to Dylan, begging to have a look inside the bright red plastic bucket.
He peered into the bucket. At least a dozen small frogs were swimming in some lake water the kids had collected. “Wow, you guys got a lot of those little guys.”
Dylan’s eyes, which were the same blue-green lagoons as Amber’s, shot up at Patrick. “Thank you so much for bringing me here. This has been the coolest day.”
Patrick’s heart thudded hard in his chest, against that calloused wall he had worked so hard to build, and he thought he was in trouble when he met Amber. Now, he found himself instinctively wanting to be this boy’s father figure. When the hell did that happen?
***
Amber
“Well, this has been so much fun. Thank you for inviting me,” Amber said as she was removing her apron and getting ready to leave.
“We need to hang out more,” Rachel stated from where she was sitting. They had all been drinking tea and finally resting after all that baking—ten pies, dozens of cookies, and muffins. They were exhausted.
Maggie nodded in agreement after sipping from the elegant tea cup she was holding. “For sure, we should plan a girls’ day or something.”
“That would be fun,” Amber said.
“I think we should plan another cooking project together,” Mary suggested. She held up a perfectly baked cookie and took a bite.
“I’m good on baking. Thanks, Mom,” Maggie teased, and everyone laughed.
“Well, I’d better head home. You ladies have a good night. Thanks again.” Amber waved as she left the house. Even though she was tired, there was a happy pep in her step as she bounded off the steps of the porch. She mounted her bicycle and started for home. The street lights had already come on, even though it still wasn’t quite dusk, but a couple stars had already popped through the violet sky, signaling that night was near. As she pedaled past Mary’s street, she hoped Dylan was having fun. She was thankful that the O’Brien men had included her boy into their small pack. He needed that strong male presence; she just wished things were better between her and Patrick. After talking more to Mary and Maggie, she learned a lot about Patrick. It helped her understand that he never really got help for his grief, and that he had coped entirely on his own. That’s not what Amber did; she’d met with a counselor and she attended support groups, after she felt like she wasn’t being the mother she needed to be for her son. But journaling was what finally saved her. From what the O’Brien ladies were telling her, Patrick hadn’t done a darn thing since Beth died. He refused to talk to anyone, even them. He had completely shut down and shut everyone out; his focus was only to try and raise his sons. It broke her heart hearing Mary retell the stories of the past four years, all the times she just wanted to help her son and to make everything better for him. Amber understood exactly where Mary was coming from. She knew the tears that Mary cried; they poured from her eyes too. She had a son who was grieving, and all she wanted to do was make things better for him, to ease his heartache and suffering somehow. To make it all go away. Wasn’t that their job as mothers, to shelter their children from pain and to protect them from life’s dreadful blows? It sometimes felt like an impossible battle, and now, Amber felt a stronger bond and closeness with Mary, knowing that they’d both endured that war.
She cruised along, enjoying the feeling of air gently raking her face as she zipped down the quiet neighborhoods. She scanned the road for any cars and enjoyed seeing the cute homes that all had festive-looking flags hanging from their front porches, neatly trimmed grass and hedges, just perfect little slices of America. Amber was glad to be here; it was actually starting to feel like this is where she belonged. Spending that afternoon and the early evening with women, who she now considered friends, made her heart feel glad. It wasn’t until that very moment that it sunk in, that this was her new life, Dylan’s new life, and that this was home now. She felt light and positive, even with how things were with Patrick. She felt confident that even that situation might get better.
Amber was almost to the main street when she noticed out of the corner of her eye something bright blue. Then she felt a sudden thud and heard the distant sound of brakes screeching. Her brain grew foggy as she strained to focus her thoughts. She could see her green bicycle on the faded and warm pavement, but she wasn’t on it. As she saw the metal tweaked and twisted and her back tire spinning in a wobbly manner. She couldn’t wrap her mind around why this was happening. She was confused. Amber could hear voices, and then ringing sang loudly in her ears. A sharp pain that splintered through her body, her eyes grew heavy, and darkness was closing in fast. She tried to outrun it in her mind, but it chased her down and finally pinned her. Everything went black.
Chapter Twenty
Patrick
“Okay, wait, what, Mom?” Patrick watched as Liam squinted, trying to understand the call he’d just answered. “Here, let me have you talk to him, okay?”
Patrick was confused as Liam handed him the phone. “Here, it’s Mom.”
“Hey, Mom, everything okay?” Patrick asked into the gray, cordless phone.
“I tried calling your cell phone.” His mother’s voice was filled with panic.
The cell service was terrible there, so it was no real surprise she hadn’t been able to reach him. “That’s okay, what’s wrong?” Patrick was firm. He knew something was not right.
Mary paused and asked, “Is Dylan with you?”
“Yes, why?” His patience was growing thin; he sensed her reluctance.
“Okay, I just got a call from Amber’s parents. They were trying to find Dylan. I told them that he was probably still with you guys.”
“Why, Mom? What happened?”
“Amber’s in the hospital. She was struck by a car on the way home from here, Patrick.” She spoke slowly. He now knew why his mother was dreading having to tell him. They knew what happened the last time a call like this was made; they knew what the outcome had been.
“Mom, how bad was the accident?” Patrick started to pace. He lowered his voice as he asked his mother; he didn’t want Dylan to overhear him.
She started sobbing. “I don’t know, Patrick. I don’t know.”
“Okay, I’m coming now. Should I bring Dylan? Or leave him here with Liam?”
“You might want to bring him to the hospital, Patrick, just in case, dear.” She started to cry again.
They hung up, and Daniel, Liam, and Michael were gathered around in a semi circle a few feet away. “What’s going on?” Daniel asked, his face scrunched in worry.
Patrick looked to see where Dylan was. The boy was sitting near the shore, holding a fishing pole and laughing with the other kids. “Amber’s been in an accident. She’s in the hospital.”
“What? When?” Daniel probed. He didn’t handle stress well and was starting to freak out a little, which scared Patrick. Had he been like this when they got the call about Beth? He hadn’t really thought about it until right now.
“I don’t know anything. Mom was pretty shook up, though.”
Liam put his hand on Patrick’s shoulder, squeezing it gently. “You want me to watch Dylan or go with you?”
“Yeah, you need us to help do something?” Daniel offered, shoving his hands inside his pockets.
Patrick saw the concern on all of their faces; they all were reliving it too. Something clicked. The notion had always sort of been there, but Patrick now knew that he hadn’t been the only one truly grieving as he watched Daniel start to tear up and Li
am and Michael stare at the ground. Patrick knew Beth’s death had hurt all of them, not just him. He could see that now, that it wasn’t just her death, but knowing what their brother was going through, the pain that he was feeling. They had grieved for him. Guilt bottomed out in his sick stomach. There would be time for apologizing later. Right now he needed to go to Amber.
“Dylan,” Patrick yelled. Dylan perked up, smiling wide, and waved. He was just a boy. Patrick sent a silent prayer. He even asked Beth to please help as he watched Dylan jog up the small hill.
The smile faded as he neared Patrick and the rest of the men. “What’s wrong?” Dylan asked.
Patrick inhaled deeply, borrowing strength from somewhere deep inside. “We need to go to the hospital. Your mom has been in an accident.”
Tears instantly shot down Dylan’s face. “Is she okay?” He had been through this before too. He knew what it could mean.
“I’m not sure, but we need to go find out. I’m here with you, okay?” Patrick wrapped his arm around Dylan’s shoulders and ushered him to the car. He looked back at his brothers. They had all been through this kind of hell before.
***
“Is my mom going to die?” Dylan’s eyes were red and his voice was cracking as he spoke.
The ride to the only hospital in Birch Valley seemed to be taking forever. It was normally a ten minute drive from Liam’s house back into town, but he felt like his tires were stuck in tar and he just wasn’t moving fast enough. He peeked down at his speedometer, which confirmed that he was actually going well over the speed limit. Patrick needed to get it together. He suddenly realized he was in the position of being a protector and needed to be the strong one, the one in control, and looking back at it now, it was his parents that were his rock when Beth was dying.
As they pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, they quickly unbuckled their seatbelts, almost running into the ER.
Patrick was hit with a torrent of images; the smells locked into his memory all came flooding back, crashing into his brain, waves of remembrance drowning him. He feared what Amber looked like. Would she be like Beth, hooked up to machines, marred, broken, and dying? His heart was breaking. He couldn’t bear the thought. This was not the hospital Beth died in; she had been airlifted to Spokane. So walking inside and seeing the beige walls and white floors didn’t spur on any additional memories.
They found the front desk and asked for Amber’s room or if they had any information. Patrick was in mid sentence when he heard some call Dylan’s name. Out of a corner in the vacant waiting room, there were her parents, Lynn and Dean Herrick.
“Dylan, oh thank goodness. I was so worried about you.” Lynn’s eyes were red and swollen. She wrapped her arms tightly around Dylan; she wasn’t about to let him go anytime soon. Dean looked awful, his eyes were wet from crying, and both parents looked distraught. He nodded at Patrick.
“Dean, any word on her condition or what happened?” Patrick asked. He felt his frustration and anxiety rising out of control.
“They said that the driver of the car called the ambulance, and she was taken right in. The nurse over there says that a doctor is coming out to talk with us soon.” Dean started tearing up again. He balled up his fist and bit his hand, his bottom lip quivering. Amber’s father was hanging on by a mere thread. Patrick wasted no time; he didn’t hesitate as he pulled Dean in for a hug. He didn’t recall Dean being so thin and almost frail. Then again he hadn’t seen him at the diner in over a month. It wasn’t a subject that Amber really brought up after he met her that first day on that country road. She was more like him than he’d realized. She kept some worries shelved away, not wanting to discuss everything that was happening in their lives.
A man in blue scrubs came out into the waiting room, and he went straight to them. His face wore no expression; he was trained to have no emotion or give anything away, and this man had years of practice.
“Amber’s family, I presume?”
“Yes,” her parents said unison. The doctor asked for them to follow him. He led them through two enormous doors that swung open automatically after he swiped his badge. Patrick stood there, left behind to wait with Dylan.
“How come he doesn’t want us to go back?” Dylan asked, the fear apparent in his eyes.
Patrick could handle this. He would be able to navigate through this. He kept telling himself that Dylan needed someone and that someone was going to have to be him.
“Let’s go sit.” He took Dylan to the corner where his grandparents had been. It had an excellent view of the large doors they had just gone through. “They usually can only take two at a time. The rooms are very small here,” Patrick explained. He didn’t want to be honest, not for one damn minute. He didn’t want to tell Dylan that his grandparents might be being told the most unbearable news.
“We didn’t go to a hospital when my dad died,” Dylan was telling Patrick as they both stared at the doors.
“Really?”
“No, two guys from his work came and told Mom. I was doing homework, and they knocked on the door.” Dylan started to cry again, and Patrick grabbed the boy and pulled him tight to his side. Dylan muttered against Patrick’s ribs, “I never got to say goodbye to my dad. Now, I won’t get to say goodbye to my mom. It’s so unfair.”
He was right; it was unfair. Patrick heard loud voices and saw Liam, Daniel, Mary, and Maggie entering the ER waiting room. They turned and saw Patrick, all of their eyes searching for answers as they stared at him.
“A doctor just took her parents back.” He wanted to scream that he wanted to go and find out, that he wanted answers, and that he needed to see for himself how she was.
They all took seats that were close to each other. “Anyone need coffee?” Maggie offered. Patrick shook his head and kept rubbing Dylan’s back, trying to soothe him.
Mary nodded. “I could use something warm. Dylan, would you like to come with me and see if they have any hot cocoa?” Mary stood and reached for Dylan’s hand. He didn’t rise up quickly; he didn’t seem to want to leave Patrick. “It’s okay, love. We’ll be right back.”
Dylan looked at Patrick, in which he nodded encouragingly to follow his mother to the cafeteria. After they left the waiting area, his siblings gathered closer around. Daniel and Liam moved several chairs closer; Maggie sat next to Patrick.
“How are Finn and Connor?” Patrick asked. He already knew they were okay and in the reliable hands of someone in the family.
“They’re at my place with Rachel,” Liam answered. “You doing okay, Patrick?”
“It’s so hard sitting here, not knowing.”
Maggie rubbed his arm. “She’s going to be okay. Are you sure I can’t get you anything?”
Patrick shook his head. “I’m good, thanks.”
They all sat there, uncomfortably waiting, and that was why his mother had taken Dylan in search of hot chocolate. She knew that this would be torture, and again, it was like another break through, he realized that his family had sat in a waiting room, their hands tied as they waited for answers. God, that had to have been hard. There was so much more at stake; there were two babies in limbo and Beth. He now fully understood it all; he saw that life was precious and that you are never prepared. He lifted his head out of his hands. “Guys…”
“Yes?” Maggie whispered. Daniel and Liam’s attention was completely on him.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is, is that I get it.”
“Get what?” Daniel furrowed his brow in confusion.
“I get that you guys also suffered, that it wasn’t just me.”
Liam looked down for a moment. “Patrick, we loved Beth. But you lost her, she was your heart and soul, we know that. Hell, I totally understand, now that I found Rachel. We just wanted to be allowed to help comfort you.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t like we were saying that our grief was nearly the same or that you didn’t get the worse end of it,” Daniel added.
“Grief is grief, guys. We
all lost her. You guys lost a piece of me too. I’m sorry I shut you all out.” Patrick didn’t realize that the tears in all of their eyes were mirroring his. He felt his cheeks grow wet.
“No matter what happens, we’re here. We always will be. We’re O’Briens, and we stick together,” Maggie said.
“You’re right.” Patrick saw the same doctor headed straight toward the double doors.
“Patrick?” the man asked. “Amber would like you to come back. She said everyone could, if you’d like.”
Patrick leaped out of the chair, and he turned to his siblings. “You guys want to go see her?” The siblings all looked at each other, unsure of what to do, but decided they would go with him. If he was willing to let them be apart of something where he may need support, they wanted to be there for their older brother.
The doctor led them through the doors after swiping his badge again. The halls were spotless, and their shoes squeaked on the waxed, heavy duty white linoleum. They passed several rooms. Some had their doors partially opened. They couldn’t see anything, but Patrick couldn’t help but feel slightly curious and then guilty. They reached a room at the end of the hall, where the doctor moved to the side allowing Patrick to enter first, his siblings trailing behind. Maggie had her hand on his back and could be heard whispering, “It’ll be okay.”
Patrick saw her, sitting up in the bed. This wasn’t what he expected at all. He smiled and felt his heart explode with joy and thanks as he noticed few scratches and her arm in a sling. He went to the side of her bed. Amber’s eyes were glowing with happiness as soon as she’d seen him. She smiled at each of his siblings but returned her gaze to Patrick.
He reached for her. He needed to touch her, to see if this wasn’t just imagination. Was she okay? How badly was she hurt? His mouth opened to ask, but without him realizing or taking a second to fight himself, he kissed her. His hands gently cradling the sides of her face, he spotted a few bruises and minor cuts, but she looked amazing. There were no tubes, wires, or machines keeping her alive. Patrick sent a silent thank you to God and to Beth.
Patrick's Promise (Cloverleaf #3) Page 21
