by Lori Foster
Emma couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “No, she’s just hung up on you. She saw your arm around me and misunderstood.”
“She understood.” He put his rough palm on her knee with his long fingers curling around her. She hadn’t realized the back of her knee could be so sensitive until Casey’s fingertips brushed there. “I’m sorry she said what she did.”
Trying to ignore his touch, Emma put her hand over his. “It’s not the first time, Casey. If you go around alienating your friends over me, you’re going to find yourself pretty lonely.”
He ignored her warning to ask, “She’s called you names before?” As he spoke, he clasped both her knees and Emma had the flashing thought of him pushing her legs open and settling between them. The image had an instantaneous effect on her body: her breath hitched, her belly tingled, her flesh heated. She didn’t have the time or concentration for this.
In a rush, she shoved to her feet and stepped away. “Of course she did. Most of the boys from here—men now, I suppose—wanted to get me in bed and most of the girls hated me because of it.”
Very slowly, Casey came to his feet. “She’s jealous.”
How ridiculous. “Hardly. Everyone always knew that I wanted you, but that you always turned me down.”
Casey looked pained. “I’m sorry, Em.”
“What did she mean when she said you had firsthand knowledge about me?”
He hesitated.
“Casey?”
With a shrug in his tone, he said, “For a while, people thought you ran off because of me.” His eyes narrowed. “No one knew about that night, how your father brought you to me. No one knew that I asked you to stay—but you left anyway.”
Startled, Emma could have sworn she heard resentment in his tone. But that didn’t make any sense. “I’m glad that’s all it is.”
Sounding almost lethal, Casey repeated, “You’re glad?”
He couldn’t understand. “I didn’t want you insulted, but I don’t care what she says about me—I never have.”
Casey watched her with brooding intensity. “I don’t believe that.”
The day had been too tumultuous for her to hold on to her temper. “And I don’t care if you don’t believe it. I made my choices and I’ve lived with them.”
“Em…”
“I slept around. So what?” Bitterness that had simmered for years suddenly boiled over. “Just because I’m female it’s a huge sin to enjoy sex, to enjoy being touched? How many females have you slept with, Casey?”
His jaw tightened.
“Ah. Should I take that blank expression to mean there are too many to count? What about Lois’s reference to last weekend? Did you sleep with her then?”
“No.”
She found that hard to believe and let him know it with a look. “But because you’re male, that’s just fine, right? Better than fine. What makes you a stud makes me a whore.”
“Stop it, Em.”
The furious rasp of his voice didn’t register. “No one’s ever talked about all the guys who bed hop, the guys who came to me. But a woman…”
“Stop it.”
Emma went slack-jawed at his raised voice. Never in her life had she heard that particular tone from Casey. With her, he’d been cajoling, teasing, concerned, sometimes firmly insistent. Always gentle. But never outraged.
Of course, she’d known him only as a boy. Now he was a man.
She blinked at him, a little awed by the level of his anger. It showed in every taut, bunched line of his muscled body. His jaw was clenched, his hands curled into fists. Oh, boy.
Emma pulled herself together. She hadn’t intended to ever have this discussion with Casey, but since it had begun, she wished she’d chosen a better place than a hospital waiting room.
More in control of herself, and her voice lower now, Emma sighed. “Casey, I’m not ashamed of my past. At least, not that part of it.” There were other things, things her family had done, things she’d covered up, the way she’d always pressured him, that still made her hot with regret. But not her sexuality. “I was young and healthy and I enjoyed sex. I still enjoy sex.”
A low savage sound escaped him, similar to a snarl. He locked his hands behind his head and paced away.
His reaction stunned her. It almost looked as if he was restraining himself—and had a devil of a time doing so. “If you can’t deal with that then you should head on home now. I’ll find a ride back to the motel.”
Casey turned and stalked to the waiting-room door. For one heart-stopping moment, Emma assumed he was going to storm out in a rage. He was leaving her and her heart hurt so badly she nearly doubled over with the crushing pain. She knew Casey would never love her, but she’d already started hoping that they could be friends.
Instead, he belatedly snapped the door shut to afford them some privacy. When he turned to face her, he still looked livid but he, too, had lowered his voice.
“I don’t give a royal fuck how many boys you slept with, Emma.”
Despite herself, his wording made her mouth fall open.
Very slowly, with intimidating deliberation, Casey stalked her. “But I do care that you were too young to be making those decisions.”
Her chin lifted. “You’re telling me you waited?”
“Apparently longer than you did.” He pointed a finger at her. “And before you say it, before you assume that being in an all-male household gave me encouragement to screw any female who offered, you should know that I got a lot of lectures on responsibility. Dad, Morgan, Jordan—hell, even Gabe—they all endlessly harped on about ramifications. What might be meaningless sex to me could mean a whole lot more to a girl, especially if she got pregnant, or her folks found out. So, no, I didn’t indiscriminately indulge in opportunities.”
“And it bothers you that I didn’t show that same restraint?” She kept her chin high, but the idea that he’d start judging her now hurt.
“What bothers me is that you did a hell of a lot of stuff because you were always lost and alone.” His expression hardened, his jaw drew tight. “And I didn’t do enough to help you.”
“No—”
He gave her a warning look that made her swallow her automatic denial. “It’s my turn, Emma, so you just be quiet and listen.”
Emma snapped her mouth shut and began backing up as he kept advancing. Never had he looked so big, so imposing. So irritated with her.
She bumped into the wall and was annoyed with herself for retreating. She wasn’t afraid of Casey. Out of all the things she’d ever felt for him, not once had fear ever been an issue.
Casey crowded into her, caging her in with his body. When she started to sidle away, he gripped her shoulders and held her firm. They stared at each other in silence until Emma gave up and held still.
“I care that you’ve been lying to me from the start.”
“But…”
“I care that I let you get away.”
Her eyes widened. Let her get away? Far as she knew, Casey hadn’t wanted her to stay. Oh, he’d offered her help because Casey was the type of man who could do nothing else. But he’d made it clear many times that she didn’t factor into his future. Well, this was his future, and just because she’d materialized didn’t mean…
His hands kneaded her shoulders absently, while his gaze burned. “And you can bet your sweet ass I care that I’ve never had you.” He leaned closer and his voice dropped to a guttural whisper. “I care about that a lot.”
Her heart thundered, and her pulse went wild. Unable to maintain eye contact with him so close, Emma looked away. But Casey wasn’t allowing that. He put a fist under her chin and brought her face back around, forcing her to meet his burning gaze. His eyes had narrowed with intent, starting a trembling deep inside her. “You quote double standards to me, but you wanna know what’s really unfair?”
“No.”
He pressed into her until she felt his hard flat abdomen against her belly. Oh, God. Her whole body came alive, quivering with primal awareness.
“It’s unfair for a gorgeous young woman to keep throwing herself at a guy until he can’t sleep nights for wanting her too much. And then she runs off and no other woman will do because he has a taste for her—a goddamned hunger—yet, damn it, she’s gone.”
“Casey…” She gave the breathless complaint automatically. She couldn’t allow herself to believe him. Always, he’d rejected her, wanting no more than friendship. Time apart couldn’t have changed that.
His fingers tunneled into her hair, holding her head still. He lowered his forehead to hers and his eyes closed, his voice going rough and deep. “It’s unfair because now that you’re here again, all grown up and sexier than ever, you no longer want me.”
She felt his warm breath on her lips, felt the heat of his frustration, his urgency, which sparked her own. Her body was melting into his, her nerve endings tingling and alive. Not want him? She was dying for him.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he murmured against her mouth, “but I don’t intend to let you get away with it.”
He said that so simply, sort of slipping it in there on her, it took a second for his statement to sink in. When his meaning dawned on her, Emma became alert with a start, only to have any thoughts of rejecting him quelled beneath a ravaging kiss. He didn’t ease into the kiss. No, he took her mouth with ruthless domination.
Emma loved it.
All objections scattered, as insubstantial as a hot summer breeze. Aware of her surrender, Casey groaned low in his throat and tilted his head, fitting his mouth to hers more securely. He continued to hold her immobile, pressing her to the wall. She felt the muscled hardness, the vitality of his body against her breasts, her belly and thighs. She tried to squirm, to get closer, but his grip didn’t allow it.
The kiss was an onslaught, never broken, always going deeper, taking and giving, and Emma forgot they were in a hospital with people milling around outside the room.
Casey didn’t forget. Slowly, reluctantly, he pulled back. His thumbs brushed the corners of her swollen mouth. Emma fought to get her eyes open.
“I love your mouth, Em. So damn sexy.” He nipped her bottom lip, licked her upper, took her mouth again. He sank his tongue in, soft and deep.
Emma groaned.
“I used to imagine your mouth on me,” he whispered, “and it made me nuts.”
Hearing him say it made her imagine it now. “Yes.” She would love to taste Casey—everywhere. “Yes.” She reached for him again.
Casey stepped them both away from the wall and urged her head to his shoulder, then wrapped his arms around her to hold her tight. He took several long, unsteady breaths, which allowed her to do the same. Emma was so shaken that if Casey hadn’t supported her, she thought she might have melted into a puddle on the floor.
“I’m going to give you time, Emma.”
She flattened her hands against the firm wall of his chest, relishing the feel of him. Time? She didn’t need time. At the moment, she didn’t want time. Unless it was time enough to explore him, to kiss him everywhere, to feel him deep inside her. Oh God, she would melt.
“I’m going to wait so you won’t feel rushed.”
She couldn’t stop shaking. “I won’t.”
He went still, cursed softly, then turned his face in and kissed her ear. “Shh. Not yet. First you’re going to get comfortable with me again. Then we’re going to talk, and I want the truth this time, Emma.”
Her heart, which had only just begun to calm, kicked into a furious gallop again. “No…”
“And then.” His tongue touched her earlobe, licked lightly inside to make her shiver. “Then I’m going to lay you down, strip you naked and sate myself on you.” He groaned as if being tortured. “I’ve got nearly a decade of lust to make up for, sweetheart, so it’s going to take me a really long time to get my fill. I hope you’re up for it.”
Emma shuddered. She had no idea what to do, what to say. But in that single moment, she made a decision. She wouldn’t leave Buckhorn again without having Casey first.
If that made her feelings for him harder to deal with, so be it. She wasn’t a weak woman with silly illusions. She knew from past experience that Casey wouldn’t want her as a permanent fixture in his life. She knew she’d never fit into Buckhorn. She never had.
When she’d left, there’d been a lot of things she wanted. Security, respectability, a close family…and Casey Hudson. But of all those things, it was only Casey who had kept her awake at night.
She had the security and respectability that came with a good job, an attitude adjustment, maturity. She had a family; not her own, but the Devaughns were very special to her and she loved them. She’d attained things of value, but she’d also learned that they weren’t enough. She hadn’t admitted to herself what was still missing in her life until Casey made it clear that he wanted her.
She’d never be close with her own family; seeing her father again had proven that. But she could have this-she could have her memories of Casey. With everything combined, she’d make that be enough for a lifetime.
She looked into his mellow golden eyes, glittering with excitement. His sharp cheekbones were flushed with arousal. For her. Emma whispered, “All right.”
The heat in his eyes flared, but was quickly banked. “God, Emma.” He took several deep breaths, leaned back and finally managed a smile. “The minutes are going to seem like hours until I can get you alone.”
Emma nodded.
“Until then, let’s talk about your dad—and what really happened the night he dropped you on my doorstep.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
CASEY SAW THE shuttered way Emma guarded herself. Well, too bad. Sometimes the truth proved painful but, damn it, he deserved that much.
He couldn’t stop touching her, smoothing her warm cheek, relishing the feel of her. He could barely wait until she was naked so he could rub his hands, his face, over her whole body. He wanted to stroke her breasts, her belly. Between her thighs.
The second she’d agreed with him, he’d gotten semihard and he had a feeling he’d be that way until he got her alone. Heat snaked through him, adding to the sexual tension and making his voice gruff. “Come on, Em. You know you can tell me anything.”
She closed her eyes tightly. “People don’t just fall into old relationships that easily, Case.”
“You and I do.” Spending the day with her had reaffirmed that much. Emma looked different, and her attitudes were wiser, more confident. But the closeness between them existed as strong as ever. No other woman had ever touched him so easily. “Regardless of what you ever thought, Em, you’ve always had a special place in my heart.”
“Casey.” She sounded strained and covered her face with her hands.
He couldn’t keep from kissing her again, but he contented himself by pulling her hands away and brushing his mouth over her forehead. “I care about you—I always have. In all the t
ime you were gone, that hasn’t changed.”
“No? You want to sleep with me now. That’s sure not how I remember it.”
Something else that was different—her lippy comebacks. They amused him. “I always wanted you and you know it.” He leaned down to see her face. “I think you enjoyed tormenting me, sending me home with a boner, knowing I’d be miserable all night long.” The fact that he could tease even when he was this aroused said a lot about Emma and how relaxed he was in her company.
She denied his accusation with a quick shake of her head. “You didn’t have to be miserable. I would have taken care of you.”
Casey’s moan turned into a laugh. “You’re still tormenting me. Now, enough with the distractions. What happened that night, Emma? Why were you so desperate to get out of Buckhorn?”
“You don’t really want to know.”
“Of course I do.”
“Then you don’t really need to know. Casey, I don’t want to involve you. It wouldn’t be fair.”
She looked truly set in her decision, and Casey knew she wouldn’t tell him a thing. He was contemplating ways to get around her stubbornness, when the waiting-room door opened and Dr. Wagner stuck his head in. “Am I interrupting?”
Casey stepped back from Emma. To keep her from ushering him out of the room, he said, “Not at all. We’re anxious to hear how Dell’s doing.”
Emma made a sound, clearly aghast at his audacity in including himself. Casey pretended not to hear. She wanted to shut him out again, but he wasn’t about to budge. She’d agreed to sleep with him, to accept him as a lover. She could damn well accept him as a friend and confidant too. Whatever Dr. Wagner had to tell her, he could share it with them both.
Lois, peeved and hostile, stepped in behind the doctor. The way she watched Emma was so malicious, it should have been illegal.
Casey had never paid that much attention to Lois before now. He’d thought her cute, a little silly. He’d been out with her once or twice, casual dates that didn’t amount to much and definitely didn’t go beyond a few kisses. But he hadn’t known how catty she could be. Poor Emma, to have put up with her and the other women like her.
