by J. Darling
Grabbing the stack of papers off the front seat of the truck, she called for Junie who’d let herself out of her booster seat and was playing with Coco. Carrying their stuff inside, she placed all the papers in an ever increasing folder, tucking them away on her desk amid the other stationary stuff and her electronic dictionary. Junie loved to play with that thing and hear it talk.
“You hungry, sweetie?”
Junie nodded.
“What do you want?”
“Peanut butta thamich and thoup.”
“Okay, I know you can say sssandwich and sssoup, let’s try that again, take it slow.”
“S,s,anndwi,i,ich and s,s,soooup.”
Dani nodded and smiled, “Very good, Junie, very good. You pick out the soup you want and I’ll make you a sandwich.”
Going about their business, Dani thought about their week. Tons of appointments, doctors, therapists, the attorney, tons of other resources the women’s shelter in a neighboring town had connected her with. And she needed to get ready to get back in the saddle. Which meant a new outfit, she’d left her others in Wyoming. It was going to require a trip to the cities and probably the craft store. Making a mental list, she was glad she had a credit card, but she hated using it, preferring to pay with cash.
“Here you go sweetie, you want to sit at the table while I make us the soup?”
Junie nodded and carried their sandwiches to the table.
“I need to go out and work with Ricochet after we eat. You want to bring along your crayons and some paper?”
“Okay, I get s,s,sssome,” she heard Junie say from the other room.
A few minutes later, she walked to the table and set their bowls down. “I have a rodeo to work in a couple days. Do you want to come with?”
“Do I half to thay in back? I don’t yike it in back.”
Dani sighed. The rodeo circuit was like a little community of people, and you got to know one another pretty well. There were always people and kids around, with someone generally willing to help keep an eye on young ones, while a performance or ride was going on. Thing was, this was the Great Lakes circuit, and she’d always ridden in the Mountain States circuit. She was sure she’d know a few, but not many, and she was just as nervous as Junie to be among strangers. “Not this time if you don’t want to. Jules said you could stay with her.”
“Okay.”
“Do you want to stay here or see the rodeo?”
Junie sat thinking about it. “Maybe go if Kwith taked me.”
Great, just her luck. Kind of surprising how she’d taken to him considering how she’d hated the others. “I don’t know sweetie, I don’t know that he’ll want to go, but you can stay with Jules and we’ll see.”
“Okay.”
“Let’s finish eating and go work with Ricochet, he’s gotten lazy.”
Junie laughed. “We wake him up, we give him tweats.”
*****
One week had gone by since he’d last seen Dani and Kris decided he’d waited long enough. He had to try and see her, and felt like he couldn’t let more time go by without things becoming more awkward than they already would be. Plus, he needed to apologize for yelling at her. If nothing else he had to at least do that.
It had been a long week, giving her time and space to do the things she needed to do, but his solace was that Linnie and Jules had been with her every step of the way. Unfortunately, he knew little more than he did a week ago because neither of them were talking, and he was miffed they wouldn’t tell him what was going on. They just gave him reassurances that she was seeing and talking to the right people.
Pulling into the ranch, he looked around. Hmmm, he didn’t see her truck anywhere. Grabbing the bouquet of flowers he’d bought for Dani and the stuffed koala bear he’d picked out for Junie, he headed into the porch and knocked. Nothing. He knocked again. Nothing.
She wasn’t with Linnie or Jules, because they were both at home, so where would she be? It would have to be Junie’s bedtime soon, so he’d wait. Heading to the swing, he sat. Two hours later and with the last dregs of daylight having dimmed, he went to his truck and found a pen and some paper. Going to the hood of his truck, he began to write her a note when he realized he wasn’t sure how she spelled her name, either version. Were there two N’s or two L’s or just one? Damn. He knew she didn’t like terms of endearment either, so now what? Score, he had it.
Dearest Hen,
The Rooster would like to apologize for crowing so loudly. He is very sorry, and should have used their code word and left before he went cuckoo. The Rooster promises to be more considerate towards the Hen, and wonders if she would let him see her and her chick. The Rooster misses them both.
Setting the flowers and bear down by the door, and then the note in front, he left, hoping by some miracle she’d give him another chance.
The next morning, Kris walked in the house and stopped dead in his tracks. Junie was standing at the top of the stairs hugging the newel post of the staircase with one arm and the koala bear he’d left for her in the other. Gosh she was cute, with her two ponytailed puffs high on each side of her head, giving him his favored vision of a little koala bear. Her little curls hung loose here and there. Her eyes lit up when she saw him and his heart cheered.
“Kwith!” she said excitedly, starting down the stairs, one step at a time, when she saw him.
She reached for him and he snatched her up, hugging her tightly. Hell, he even gave her a little kiss on the head. She smelled sweet. “How’s Junie today?” he asked with relief, loving the chance to see her.
“She good,” she answered, snuggling up to him.
Oh man, he needed this. Carrying her, he headed up the stairs. “How’s your new bed? You like it?”
She nodded her head rapidly. “Me yike, Junie go sweep.”
Walking in the kitchen, he looked around, no Dani. “Are you hungry, because we’re going to have breakfast?”
She nodded.
“We should probably wash our hands, don’t you think?”
“Okay.”
Washed, clean, and at the table, he sat in his chair. Junie climbed onto his lap and he was aware of Jules doing her best to watch without laughing. She did smirk though as she put food on the table. He supposed he deserved it, being arrogant all these years when it came to girls and chick stuff. “Where’s Dani?” he asked, ignoring the elephant in the room. Junie answered to his surprise.
“At wook.”
He thought about it. At wook…at…work, maybe? “At work?” he repeated, looking at Jules who nodded in response.
“Yes. Well, getting ready for work, she needed to leave early this morning to get ready. Linnie and I agreed to watch Junie for her. We need you guys in from milking as early as possible so we’re not late.”
Okay, what had he missed? “Late for what?”
“The rodeo, we have an hour drive to get there.”
So today was that infernal rodeo. “Ahh, okay, so why do we need to be in early?”
“So, we’re not late,” Jules explained, like it made total sense. “It starts at seven thirty.”
“Still, don’t get it get it. Are you thinking of leaving Junie here?”
Shaking her head with a smile, Jules answered amused, “No, we’re all going to the rodeo, you need to come with.”
No way, not going to watch that, he’d probably kill somebody. “I’m not going,” he stated stubbornly in response.
“You need to, because Junie’s afraid to go otherwise and will only go if you’re there.”
Great. He looked down at the little girl on his lap and she smiled at him.
Patting his cheek, she said, “We go thee Nonny.”
“Oh, and there’s this,” Jules said, handing him a folded piece of paper.
Did he really want to see this? Opening it up, he looked at it. Just three simple little words were written. “HEN SAY YES.” Well, there was his answer, except that he was back to crowing on the fence over her career choic
e. He didn’t think he could do it, just sit idly by tonight knowing what was going on behind the scenes. He felt himself getting angry all over again. Maybe there was no helping Dani, maybe she was too far gone, or screwed up in the head as she called it, and the only true hope was in helping Junie. He’d have to do it for her, he’d go and try for Junie.
“Where is everyone? Have they come in from the barn yet?
“They’re walking across the yard now,” Jules said, looking out the kitchen window over the sink.
Folding the note from Dani and sticking it in his pocket, he held Junie as she sat up and tighten her grip on him when she heard his dad and brothers tromp in the house talking loudly. Patting her back, he reassured her. “It’s alright, it’s just my dad and brothers, you’re okay.” She didn’t answer him. She simply lay against him watching the doorway with wide eyes.
His dad walked in first and Junie let out a squeal, surprising them all. Stopping abruptly, his dad looked at the two of them, leaving Jake and Nik to run into him as they followed. Kris tightened his hold on Junie’s trembling body and looked at her. Her eyes were as big as silver dollars. Rubbing her back, he tried to soothe her. He heard Nik say something about needing a picture of this and ignored it, because he was more concerned with Junie.
“Junie,” Jules said softly, going over to his dad and touching his arm, “this is Kris’s dad, you can call him Karl and this,” she reached and touched each of his brothers, “is Kris’s brother Jake, and his other brother Nik. You can call him Nik Nak, he loves it.”
Junie gave a little yelp, then started smiling shyly from ear to ear. Looking at Kris with childlike wonderment, she said in utter shock, “You wiv with Thanta Cwauz and Nik Nak Paddywack?”
Huh? Wait…what was she saying? Looking over at the four of them, he realized she thought his dad was Santa Claus given his larger stature and whitish hair and beard, compliments of his Scandinavian roots. Kris started smiling. With that mystery solved, his mind quickly went in search of the other and he instantly heard the verse of an old nursery rhyme run through his head…Nik Nak Paddywack give a dog a bone, this old man goes rolling home… Laughing a little, he turned back to her and said, “I do, and they’re really fun to have around. You want to say hi to them?”
Hugging him tight around the neck, she held up one hand. “Hi. I wath my hand, thee?”
Smiling, his dad stepped closer, and with a twinkle in his eyes said, “Very nice to meet you Junie, you did a good job.” Then glancing at Kris and back, said, “I like what I’m seeing.”
That last part was meant for him, Kris knew it.
Junie fell back against Kris in a near faint. Looking at him, she said in a whisper, “Thanta knowed my name.”
They all got a big chuckle out of that. Everyone sitting to eat, Kris, pulled an empty chair close to him and set Junie in it, dishing the two of them up as the food was passed around. He could feel their eyes all over him. Oh well, let them watch all they wanted, his focus was on feeding his little koala baby. Making sure she had some milk in her kiddie sized cup, he said, “Let’s eat, I’m hungry.”
Watching her as they all sat talking and eating, he wondered what was going on in her mind. Kneeling on her chair, she would take a bite of something, then start looking all around the floor and under the table, then back for a bite of food, then back to searching the floor.
Interrupting the flow, he touched her hand and said, “What are you looking for?”
Talking ceased and his family listened.
“I yooking for dog.”
“Okay, what does your dog look like?”
Shaking her head, she said, “Not my dog siwee, Nik Nak dog.”
He laughed. “Nik Nak Paddywack, where’s your dog?”
Nik, joining in the fun, answered, “Outside chasing his tail.”
Junie sat straight up, her eyes going round. “He hungwy.” Jumping off her chair and getting her new backpack, she opened it, taking out a little bag of bone shaped dog treats. Walking over to Nik, she handed them to him. “Nik Nak Paddywack give dog bone.”
Smiling, Nik took the treats with a whistle. “Nice, thank you, he loves dog bones! You sure you don’t want to keep some?”
Shaking her head and smiling, she said, “We thare.”
“That’s very nice, Junie,” his dad said, giving her a little wink.
Glancing at him shyly, she smiled, then turned and ran back to Kris, crawling onto his lap and wrapping an arm around his neck.
Kris could explain it, but he loved that she came to him, not back to her chair, not to Santa Claus incarnate, but to him. He didn’t get it, how is it he had not wanted children? Well, he had at one time with Vannie, but then after, forget it, wasn’t interested in the least. But now, he wanted it all, the whole deal, and he wondered if things didn’t work out with Dani, if he’d still feel the same way.
Pulling her plate over, and onto his empty one, he said, “Time to eat, sweetie, let’s finish up.”
“You siwee, I not feetie, I dumbthit.”
Dead silence abound. His family sat frozen looking at the two of them, and Kris wasn’t sure, but he thought he might be having a seizure, because his head started jerking and his eye started twitching. Not sure what to do, but feeling like he had to do something, he cleared his throat, then cleared it again. “June—” Whoa, he’d lost a vowel as his voice had gone tight and strained. She must have picked up on it too, because she dropped her head and sat as frozen as the rest of them.
“I thowwee,” she whispered.
He wasn’t sure, but he thought she might be starting to cry. “You’re not in trouble,” he said, trying to reassure her, “but that is not a nice name, and we don’t call little girls that.”
Looking up in surprise, she said, “You don’t?” Little tears ran down her cheeks.
Shaking his head slowly, he said calmly, “We don’t. We love our girls and say nice things to them.” This must’ve been a real switch for her, because she wasn’t convinced and was compelled to test it out.
“Even when they weave toy on for?”
Getting a hang of her speech pattern, he answered, “Yep, even when they leave toys on the floor, we love them.”
“Even when they make noithe?”
He fought back a smile. “Yep, even when they make noise.
“You no fmack them or hit them?”
Feeling his blood pressure rise, he shook his head. “We don’t hit our girls or call them bad names, we love our girls no matter what.”
Reaching up, she touched the top of his head, then ran her fingers through his hair. Sitting up higher, she looked his head over.
Laughing a little, he couldn’t fathom what she was doing. “What are you doing?”
“Yooking for you haywoe.”
Pause… “Looking for my…halo?”
Sitting in front of him, both hands around his neck, she looked up at him and nodded. “Anjoes have haywoes.”
Oh man, she was killing him. Angels have halos… Good by old Kris, hello new Kris. He loved this little girl. He…loved her. This little mite of a girl overwhelmed him with her innocent love and he couldn’t imagine how anyone could ever hurt her. Is this what parent’s felt for their children, this overwhelming love? He remembered the look of pride on Dani’s face when she introduced Junie to him. Bringing his head up, he looked around the table to the smiling faces of his family. They knew, probably from the look on his face. They knew he’d been hooked. With bright eyes, his dad gave him a little thumbs up, and it meant everything in the world to him.
Giving one of her ponytails a little tug, he said with deep affection, “You sure are cute, you know that? You’re very special.”
“Nonny call me wuvbug,” she reported proudly.
He laughed. “That you are. Maybe I should have a special name for you too. Maybe I should call you Junebug.”
Her eyes brightened and glowed with approval. “I dwaw picthure for you.”
Jumping down from h
is lap, she grabbed her backpack, emptying its contents on the floor. Finding paper and crayons amongst the toys and books, she busied herself.
“I don’t get this,” he said to those around the table. “I don’t.” Glancing at Junie, he chose his words carefully. “I hate chick stuff, always have. Never wanted to bother with it, found all the pretense a pain in the—he stopped and looked to Junie—ahh, rear, and now… The night of the storm, did I maybe get struck by lightning or something? I feel like I’ve had a lobotomy.”
His family laughed at his confusion.
“You’ve been bit,” Jake said, clearly loving every minute of it. “When it’s right, it’s right, and you find yourself thinking and doing things you never imagined you would.”
Rubbing his face, trying to figure this all out, he wondered again what had come over him. How was it that he had been in total control of his life one day, having it all locked down tight, and then with a crack of a whip and the ring of a phone, it all changed in a matter of seconds. He’d never been this malleable.
Shaking his head, he looked at Junie, and then back to the group. “I don’t get how she can do this, how can she do this to the two of them? How can she do what she’s doing, it just doesn’t make any sense to me. Get a real job for f— heaven’s sake.”
“Kris,” Linnie said, then stopped, glancing over at Jules before continuing, “We don’t know, but we know she’s been talking to a lot of the right people. It’s hard to understand, but maybe—she looked at Jules again and paused—well, Jules has an idea that may explain a part of it, but we’re not sure. We’re just kind of guessing.”
Turning to Jules, he said, “What, tell me so I can quit beating my head against the wall, because I don’t get this?”
