by Enid Titan
“Gavriel, I will speak freely now because we’ve known each other so long.”
“Aye, Captain.”
“I question the motives of everyone on board this ship but until now, I’ve had no reason to question your motives. Don’t give me a reason.”
“Garth…”
“I know you, Odilian. You’re a wise man and loyal. But I need to make sure your loyalty lies in the right place.”
“I can assure you it does.”
“Your pod will be ready to launch in 48 hours.”
“How will we find the ship again?”
“We’ll find you. Connie’s upgrades will only last around five days.”
“A time limit, then?”
“Aye.”
“What happens when we’re gone?”
“We’ll have Horus at helm, Jisoo will be Quartermaster, and Poke will add shifts to serve in Nova’s position.”
“Thank you, Garth.”
“I’m doing this for Jaen. I still owe her. I let her down and I shouldn’t have.”
Garth leaves and before I can fall asleep, Kazim stumbles into the room — drunk.
“The boys are back in town!” he croons.
I have no idea what he’s singing or why.
“No woman tonight?”
“No… not tonight. Tonight, I come bearing news.”
“Of what sort?”
“Xanth. He’s beside himself. He claims that Jaen Nabokov was his girlfriend.”
Kazim laughs as if he finds the entire admission hilarious. I scowl.
“Hmph.”
“He’s a ridiculous old man. Girlfriend?!” he laughs, mostly because of the drinking.
“Garth’s approved our mission. So get drunk while you can.”
“I plan to do this entire mission drunk.”
“Kazim… this is serious. I know. But it’s worse than serious. Nova will be there. In close quarters. For days.”
He groans and flops onto his cot.
“Isn’t that a good thing?”
“You don’t understand. If I sleep with Nova… I’ll ruin everything.”
“You won’t ruin things. Nova loves you. I don’t understand why, frankly.”
“She loves the idea of me. She loves not having me. She doesn’t know how messed up I am.”
Kazim exaggerates his talent at secrecy. Everyone sees the tattoo on his chest. Twelve numbers. His serial code. He was born into sex slavery. He served aboard confederate general ships until he ran away at fourteen. They recaptured him and he didn’t escape again until he was seventeen. When he’s drunk, he’ll tell stories of the men who owned him. The places he saw when he was their chosen boy. Some would sell him when he got too old. Some would find a new toy. He spent his entire life suffering the commodification all too common under the confederacy.
If we were heroes, we’d try to end the suffering. But none of us are heroes. Only pirates clawing our way through this hellscape for survival.
“Nova will understand. She’s been through plenty.”
Kazim scoffs.
“Neither of us knows what she’s been through. For all we know, she could have been born free.”
I have my doubts. I can count on one hand the number of people I know born free. Jaen Nabokov is one of these people. Bonbon crawls out of my tunic pocket over my shoulder. Kazim raises a quizzical eyebrow.
“Where did you get that little creature?”
“His name is Bonbon. He belongs to Jaen.”
Bonbon squeaks as his tiny claws sink into my shoulder for stability. Kazim extends a cautious hand forward and Bonbon bends his head forward, allowing Kazim to pet his blue fur.
“How long have you kept this creature here without my notice?”
“You’re not half as observant as you think, Kazim.”
“If you had more sex, you’d understand,” Kazim explains, “women’s immense beauty proves most distracting.”
“You have a toxic obsession with sex.”
“Aye. And Nova. I don’t know what to do about her. If I sleep with her, she’ll think she’s like all the others. But she’s not. When I thought she died… I was ready to kill myself to be with her.”
“Don’t you think that’s dramatic?”
Kazim shakes his head earnestly.
“No. It’s love. It’s exactly what it’s supposed to be. Insane. Intense. Intoxicating. It’s what you feel for Jaen, aye? You’d sacrifice yourself for her.”
“I would not.”
Kazim snorts.
“You’re so unaware of your own feelings, Odilian. This mission is a suicide mission, make no mistake. But if I can’t find my way to love, I might as well die finding a way to yours.”
“Nova’s coming with us. Talk to her. You talk to her all the time. Why is this any different?”
“Because,” Kazim whispers, “it’s real.”
Chapter 32
Yo Ho Ho And A Bottle of Rum
Nova meets us with a bag slung over her shoulder. Her wings buzz with anticipation. She’s wrapped her coils of black hair in two buns on top of her head. She directs her criticism to me and Kazim.
“You know this is madness, right?”
“It’s not about madness, ma cherie,” Kazim says smoothly, “it’s about love.”
Nova scoffs.
“What do you know about love? You think it comes from your cock.”
“Nova,” I chastise.
Nova shrugs and moves on to describing our weapon complement.
“Each of us has three guns. A photon pistol, better at close range unless you’re an excellent shot. A blaster that can slice through the hull and this.”
She pulls out a tiny device that looks more like a probe.
“What is that?”
“Light grenade. Direct it well, but it sends out these nuclear pellets that can kill everyone in its radius. But be careful. If you’re too close, you’ll injure yourself. Without Xanth, there’s no healing from radiation poisoning out there.”
“Nice work,” Kazim compliments.
Nova snorts.
“Are you two fighting?” I ask, thinking that they’re caught up in another silly tussle.
But Nova’s quick to tell me her problem with Kazim.
“I caught him in the kitchen pantry this morning with the Kaveri twins. Twins! That’s disgusting. How many people does he need to sleep with, anyway? It’s utterly ridiculous.”
I frown at Kazim. After our conversation yesterday, I assumed he would focus on how to confess his feelings to Nova, not jumping into bed with someone else.
“Bit of a bastard move, Kazim.”
He rolls his eyes.
“You two are both painfully Puritanical. It’s too bad I don’t swing your way, Gavriel. I’d show you a good time.”
Nova punches his shoulder hard.
“You’re full of yourself!”
Kazim punches back, not very hard but a punch all the same, “I’m not full of myself. You’re bitter.”
“Why would I bitter? I don’t care who you stick your diseased cock into.”
“Diseased?! I’ll have you know, I visit Xanth for regular checkups.”
“I don’t care,” Nova snaps, “You’ve still probably got all types of… viruses!”
Garth clears his throat as he turns the corner of the hallway. Nova squeaks, “Captain!”
“Are you three ready?” Garth asks, eyeing us suspiciously. He heard too much of the argument and probably worries we’ll all kill each other before we get to Saroyan’s ship. It’s not an entirely unjustified concern.
“Captain, we can more than handle a simple rescue mission. All we have to do is attach our pod like a remora to one of the best guarded pirate ships in the galaxy, blast through the hull and rescue Jaen from the clutches of our engineer’s evil brother. Simple.”
Kazim’s smile betrays his nervousness. It isn’t like Nova and I don’t share his concerns. There are twenty-million ways this mission could go wr
ong. Probably an infinite number of ways. Garth thumps me on the back and gives us his best wishes.
“Five days, we’ll set out looking for you. Any longer than that and we’ll consider you lost.”
“Aye, Captain,” Nova replies cheerily, “You can count on us to be there. I won’t let these two knuckleheads get into any danger.”
“I don’t need to warn you to be careful of Saroyan. He’s unstable. Unpredictable.”
“He’s a Baharozian,” Nova points out.
“Aye.”
Garth leaves us with that farewell. I open the docking bay so we can enter the pod — our humble home for the next few days. Kazim takes the helm. I have to duck most of the time I’m inside.
Pods are too small for separate rooms — except the washroom. The sparsest washrooms in all the galaxy, I imagine. There are three cots in the back for our supplies and weapons, but ships this small are only meant for quick recon missions or brief trips.
If Garth takes longer than five days to find us, he’d only find corpses, anyway. Kazim launches us away from the ship, masking our signal on ship’s sensors so we fly invisible through space.
The rendezvous co-ordinates are our best bet at finding Saroyan. An eighteen hour trip, according to Kazim. Once Kazim sets the coordinates, we have little work to do. Unlike the main ship, pods don’t require constant maintenance or monitoring. After thirty minutes, Kazim lets out a loud, bored sigh.
“Well! It’s time we get this party started, I suppose.”
Nova snorts.
“Shouldn’t we come up with a plan? We don’t exactly have one.”
“How can we plan for the unknown?” Kazim points out, shaking out black hair and combing his fingers through while staring at his reflection in the glass. Nova smacks his shoulder.
“Can you stop looking at yourself in the mirror for five seconds?”
“Would you prefer I stare into your eyes?” he says in a syrupy voice, turning to bore into Nova with his gaze.
She makes a frustrated huffing sound and leans back in her chair.
“You’re impossible,” she grumbles.
“I got Licker to add some alcohol to our supplies. We can get drunk. Yo ho ho and a bottle of spiced rum.”
Nova sits up with a raised eyebrow.
“What kind of spice?”
“It’s pepper rum. The hottest in the galaxy.”
Nova gasps and then remembers that she’s supposed to be angry with Kazim. I’m wondering when this rescue mission turned into me being the awkward third wheel in their non-stop flirtation.
Kazim uncorks the bottle.
“Want some, Gavriel?”
“If I ever say no to alcohol, I don’t belong on a pirate ship.”
“That’s the spirit. Nova? Metal glasses.”
“Aye, aye, Captain.”
“Hey!” I complain, rubbing my temples, “I’m the Captain around here.”
Nova giggles as she fishes the metal cups out of her pack.
“Waste no time, helmsman. Pepper rum is our best chance at surviving eighteen hours in this box without biting each other’s heads off.”
Kazim and I are wise enough not to point out she’s the one with the shortest fuse this side of the asteroid belt.
He pours a healthy serving of rum for all of us. The smell is so spicy my eyes water as I hold the glass.
“Where the hell did Licker get this?”
“They’ve saved it for months. Licker and I have an understanding.”
“Have you slept with Licker too?” Nova balks.
“No. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t sleep with anyone. Right Gavriel?”
I pour the entire contents of my glass into my mouth to keep from answering his question. This is not regular pepper rum, and instant regret fills me as the burning liquid singes every inch of my mouth and lips.
Chapter 33
Fire Between Them
The burning gets too intense and I need to spit it out, except there’s no liquid in my mouth, only an intense burning. I part my lips to cough and as I cough, flames emerge. Nova squeals and claps her hands.
“Oh, that’s amazing!”
And like that, with my expulsion of the fire, the burning’s gone.
Kazim warns, “You shouldn’t have consumed it all at once. You’ll be stinking drunk soon. You’re meant to sip it.”
Nova takes an appropriately sized sip and coughs a tiny flame. Kazim chuckles.
“That’s right. Nova knows how to drink like a proper lady.”
“Fill my cup,” I mutter, “I’ll have some more of that.”
“Chug it all again so I can see the fire show,” Nova teases. I take a more respectable sip than she hopes, but blow a smoke ring after releasing the fire. Nova giggles and I wink at her, which is enough to draw an irate glance from Kazim. Nova’s wings carry her a few inches off her chair and she glides out of her seat.
“I’m going to do my hair,” she says, “you boys have fun.”
She flutters off to the tiny washroom. Kazim elbows me.
“Were you flirting with her?”
“No! Why would I flirt with Nova when I know you love her?”
“You winked at her.”
“Yeah. It’s friendly.”
Kazim scowls and tips more rum into his mouth, swallowing without producing a flame. It’s like he wants it to burn.
“Tonight, I’ll tell her,” he mutters, “I’m nervous. I think.”
“Talk to her. Seriously.”
“How can I?” he answers, leaning in all red-faced and earnest, “I’m a wreck. I’m… a whore…”
Oh God. He’s not that drunk already, is he? Maybe I’m the drunk one because instead of responding something clever or even passably normal, I slur, “Stop spinning the room, Kazim.”
I clutch the sides of my chair and Kazim laughs.
“I told you not to drink so much.”
Nova flutters out of the washroom, her buns undone and twisted into braids that hang from her head like fluffy little horns. She’s wrapped a silky cloth around her hair. Kazim can’t stop grinning at her — or staring.
“Do you do that every night?”
“Yes. It’s how I keep my curls so luscious.”
“They are luscious,” Kazim agrees, taking a long swig of rum without breaking eye contact.
Nova giggles and settles into her seat as her wings fold behind her.
“Don’t be a flirt, Kazim,” she whispers. If I didn’t know better, I’d say her voice sounded sad. I must have been quiet for a suspiciously long time because Nova snaps her fingers in front of my face.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“He’s drunk. Odilians. The enormous bloody bastards turn into lunks once they’ve had their fill of drink.”
“Don’t speak ill of Odilians,” I slur, “Or the banana in the bathhouse will shake and scream.”
“He’s way too drunk,” Nova whispers.
“I can hear poo. I can hear shoe. I can hear you.”
“Let’s get him into bed,” Kazim groans, cracking his back as he rises. Nova balks at him.
“You expect me to drag an enormous Odilian into bed?!”
“Grab him under his shoulder. I’ll do most of the work.”
Nova huffs but fits her body beneath my shoulder. As they hoist me up, Nova screams. I feel tiny claws tickling my shoulder and laugh uproariously as Nova screams again.
“It’s only Bonbon,” Kazim snaps.
“Bonbon!? That thing has a name? It’s a rat!”
“It’s not a rat!” Kazim says, “And don’t you dare get all murderous. He’s a hedgehog. And he’s Jaen’s pet.”
“Humph,” Nova exclaims with a flourish and my body falls, landing on the thin cot mattress. I can feel Bonbon curling up against my neck, but Kazim may have a point about how I handle my liquor. I’m too drunk to move. But I can hear them clearly, even if I can’t say anything half-normal.
“Do you think Jaen’s innocen
t like he believes?”
“Yes,” Kazim answers.
“Did you fuck her too?” Nova asks.
But the way she asks him is different this time, like it would hurt if he fucked Jaen in a way it doesn’t when he sleeps with anyone else.
“No.”
He moves his hand to her hair, and Nova doesn’t recoil. My eyes flutter closed. I can only hear them now.
“Stop,” she whispers, “he can hear us.”
“He won’t remember in the morning,” Kazim answers, “now can we be real with each other for once?”
“What is there to be real about, Kazim? We’re friends. We’re never going to be more than friends.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Don’t you dare ask me what I want. Is that the line you use on all your whores?”
“Nova,” he says, almost pleading, “they’re not whores. They’re women. Just like you.”
“That’s the problem,” she snaps, “I don’t want to be just like them. I want someone who cares about me. I’ve done it before. The passion thing. Following one impulse to another. Do you know where that got me?”
“Right here,” Kazim murmurs.
“Exactly!” she answers, but there’s no softness in her voice, “My husband sold my children to the confederacy and ran away with a trollop half my age. You think you love me, but there’s no love on pirate ships.”
“That’s not true,” Kazim says, “Because I love you. And I belong to you in every way except one.”
“But that’s the way I need you to belong to me,” She whispers, “I know how much it hurts they owned you. That they traded you like a toy. But I need a man who can make love to me without it messing with his head.”
Kazim’s begging now. I’ve never heard him like this. He must really love her. In a way that hurts. In a way that scares me, even if I’m half passed out and definitely not supposed to be listening. He loves her in a way that makes me want to love just to dive into all the feelings and have them drown me.
“I want to make love to you.”
“You want to make love to everyone.”
“Not the way I want you. Nova. I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I can fuck every single woman on this ship, but when I’m alone in bed, the only woman I can think of is you. And I’ve never kissed you. I’ve never touched you.”
