by Baylin Crow
“Well, I don’t plan on you walking.” Quickly changing, I grabbed my keys and slipped on my own shoes. I looked at Soccer and growled digging in my closet and threw another hooded jacket at him. At this rate, he was going to own half of my closet. He slipped it on while rolling his eyes. “Let’s go.”
When we got into my truck, Soccer was fidgeting. “Coach is going to be pissed. He was already mad at us last practice. This should be fun. Not.” He ran his hand over his face. He was so flustered that I reached out and rested my hand on his leg. He seemed to relax under my touch, and that gave me immense pleasure knowing that I could help like he had with me last night. I could at least give him that. His hand came down on top of mine, and he laced his fingers with mine.
“How do you feel about what happened last night?” he asked as we turned onto the main road.
I could never describe the way last night had been for me, but I did the best I could. “Last night was the best night of my life,” I said honestly.
His dimpled smile warmed my heart. “Mine, too.” With his simple words, I knew I was falling for him, hard and fast. I needed to think this through before I told him that, though. Besides, I didn’t know what his feelings were for me. The way he acted with me and the things he said made me think he felt the same for me as I did for him, but I could be wrong. It wasn’t like I had much experience with relationships.
The ride to the field was short, and he ended up only being a few minutes late. I pulled as close to the entrance as possible, and he hopped out. Before leaving, he turned to me. “I’m going to call when I get out. You better answer.” He seemed to need to remind me every time he left. I guessed he had a good reason for that given my track record.
“Maybe,” I teased with a big smile that he alone seemed to be able to bring out.
He fake swooned, and I laughed. “Later, Soccer.” He went to shut the door and then threw it back open, jumped in the car and gave me a smack on the lips before getting back out and jogging off. I stared off after him a little stunned. Only when he went into the building did I realize he had kissed me in broad daylight. Out of habit, I looked around to see if anyone had been watching. When I saw no one, I relaxed. I seriously had to get over my hang-ups if we even had a shot at being anything more than a fling and I wanted that. I really wanted that, I realized.
It was still going to be several hours before I had to be back at the bar to check on a delivery and I had the morning free so I decided to go check on my grandparent’s house.
The two-story cabin home was close enough that I could visit anytime I wanted to, but I hadn’t done it often because every time I had gone there, I left feeling that hollow place in my soul from the loss of my family.
I had always found the property to be peaceful with the soft sound of the breeze ruffling the towering lakeside trees and small waves as they crashed against the bank. When I drove down the long driveway, it broke my heart like always to see his car still parked outside and to know that he would never drive it again. I honestly hadn’t considered what I would do if they ended up getting rid of the car or the house. It just didn’t seem right, but at the same time, I hated that it was just going to sit there empty. This house, along with the people who had owned it, brought me the only real happiness I had ever known. It killed me that it wasn’t mine, not on paper anyway.
When I pulled next to my grandfather’s car and got out, I took a minute just to look around and take it in. The silence made me ache for the time when it had been full of love and life.
The cleaning lady that I had hired came out once a week to dust along with the lawn service that kept the ground maintained, so when I entered the house, everything was exactly the way it was when it had been home. I walked around like I did every time I visited, checking in each room and letting memories wash over me.
The house was beautiful on the inside. My grandmother had decorated everything in soft blues and incorporated them with dark brown furnishings that spoke more of her husband. It was a perfect combination of the two and he had never change it after she was gone. Much like the bar. While the inside was beautiful, the back that faced the lake was my favorite place.
The summer I spent here when I was eight, my grandfather had hung a hammock just for me so I could flick through comic books and enjoy the outdoors. Sometimes we’d fish together on the dock that led straight out into the water and then my grandmother would fry them up. After my grandma died, he stopped fishing, and I never asked him to again. I still came out to lie in that hammock from time to time, and that’s what I wanted to do today. There wasn’t a better place that I could think of to get my thoughts in order.
The whole thing with Soccer was more than I thought I’d ever get out of this life after everything that went down between the college experience and my parents. I wondered if it was too good to be true and what would happen if it didn’t work out. Relationships didn’t always work, I knew that, but this wasn’t just a relationship. If we did this, not only would I be with him, but everyone would know it. That was a huge step for me, and I had to make sure I was ready, not only for myself, but for Soccer too. It wasn’t only my heart on the line.
I watched the clouds shift forms through the branches overhead and heard the birds chirping from the trees, but my mind was only picturing his face and the bottom line was I was ready to risk anything for him. He was worth it.
I lay there dozing as the gentle sway took away the stress that had been weighing me down. When it was time to head back to the bar, I was reluctant to leave, but I was also ready to talk to Soccer, so I needed to take care of business first. Looking around once more, I thought it might be a good idea to bring him here, to show him a big piece of myself.
---
Shortly after I arrived, the delivery truck had backed up and the order was unloaded. Crates were placed on the floor waiting to be stored. The only other person working was Vanessa, who was in the kitchen preparing for the night. Not only did she do the cooking but after the kitchen closed, she stayed to also work the floor. And now that we had Jackson on board too, I was looking forward to having a day off here and there. Andi said he had been doing great and from what I had witnessed I had to agree.
I stored the bottles and started setting up for the night. Andi came in thirty minutes before we were ready to open the doors and stopped in front of me, staring at me before her lips quirked.
“What?” I asked.
“You’re smiling.” I hadn’t realized I was, but the fact that it was something to point out made me feel like an ass. My shortcomings had never bothered me before. This was all Soccer’s fault. She tapped her chin. “I wonder what has you so happy. If I were to take a wild guess, I’d think it might have something to do with sandy blond hair, deep, brown eyes, fine ass…”
She stopped and giggled when I gave her a stern look that I couldn’t hold. “Maybe.” I watched her face for judgment even though I knew she had been the one pushing me towards him. Old habits die hard I guessed.
She squealed making me wince. “I knew it! You are such a bad liar!”
“Shut up, and get to work.” I tried to keep my voice firm but felt my lips twitch, and her answering beaming smile actually made me feel good. I had been avoiding Soccer like the plague thinking he could screw up my perfectly hidden feelings, and instead, he was bringing me back to life. I never wanted to lose that or go back to the dark place I had been hiding for so long.
Not long after we opened, my phone signaled an incoming text.
Soccer: What are you wearing?
I laughed, earning a few odd glances from the few early birds who thought five in the afternoon was a good time to start imbibing.
Me: You soon
The bubbles indicating he was writing back had me holding my breath, waiting to see if I’d gone too far. I hated not being sure of myself, but I was willing to reach out of my comfort zone as long as it was only the two of us.
Soccer: Fuck. Shit. Damn. I’m on my way.
Butterflies swarmed my stomach like I was back in high school with my first crush. I turned to check myself out in the mirror and make sure I looked ok. Satisfied, I told Andi I was going to get some work done in the back and to holler if she needed anything. Really, I just needed a minute alone.
I didn’t get much time because only a few minutes later she stuck her head in the doorway. “You’ve got company,” she hollered and turned away.
Standing, I took a deep breath and followed. Soccer sat on one of the barstools chatting with Jack, who must have shown up when I had slipped in the backroom. I could overhear them talking about Soccer’s game the previous weekend.
As I approached the bar, he was responding to the older man. “Thank you, sir. We have another game on Saturday, and we’ll make up for it.” Soccer saw me and his face lit up. “You want to come?”
The question caught me off guard, and my first instinct was a definite “no” but looking at the hopefulness I saw on his face, I couldn’t refuse. “If you want me to.”
“Of course I want you there,” he said. Jack looked between the two of us and chuckled.
“Well, I’ll be,” he said. “I never would have guessed about you two.” His observation, and the fact that he seemed to just put it out there like it wasn’t a big deal, surprised me.
Soccer looked at me probably waiting for me to freak out or deny it and when I responded, his jaw dropped. “Yeah, me neither.”
His eyes heated. “Didn’t you say you were about to get out of here?” The hint was not lost on me, and the look in his eyes had me turning towards Andi who was casually wiping down glasses only a few feet away.
“Get out of here,” she said since she had apparently been eavesdropping.
“Jackson will be in soon, you sure you got it?” I knew she did. We weren’t even busy, but I felt like I needed to ask. She waved me off, and I found myself rounding the bar and motioning towards the door with my chin.
Not even caring about how he looked apparently, Soccer jumped off the stool and practically jogged out of the door. I followed at a much more normal pace. When I reached outside, I didn’t see him anywhere but knew he had probably headed towards my apartment. As soon as I turned the corner, I was grabbed by the front of my shirt, and soft lips crashed into mine. He parted his lips for me, and I took full advantage in meeting his with the same desperation.
“I missed you today,” he whispered.
“You did?”
He nodded as he tugged me upstairs and into my small living room. I liked the way he looked in my space, like he should have been there all along, like he belonged there. The door slammed behind me when I kicked it shut.
Ten
Soccer
The second Beard slammed the door shut, he was on me. His hands glided a path over my chest and down my abs before coming around me and grabbing my ass and pulling me against him. I could feel how much he wanted me when he thrust his pelvis against mine. My blood roared in my ears as he took and took from me. When he pulled away it was only to move down to my neck, a place I had quickly found out was extremely sensitive, more so because of the tickle of his facial hair. I pushed at his chest and he stepped back with fire in his eyes.
“Your room,” I gasped, trying to catch the breath that he had stolen.
When we landed in a tangle of limbs on his soft blankets, I tried to slow him down but he was on a mission to rip my clothes from my body while shedding his own. His desire fueled my own and I worked to help him undress me, pulling my shorts down, and then kicking at them until they fell onto the floor. Beard was already naked with his cock erect, a bead of come at the tip. My mouth watered and I moved to slide underneath him. His left hand gripped my arm to stop my movement and with a wicked gleam in his eye he began with a kiss to my lips and then headed south to my neck and then to each of my nipples in turn. When he continued on down my abs, I realized he was on a mission and I held my breath, watching him.
When he reached his destination, he halted. My eyes were on every move he made, so I saw the uncertainty flash across his features.
“Beard you don’t have to…” I trailed off when his tongue darted out and licked the sensitive head. “Christ, Beard. I want your mouth so bad, but you don’t have to do it.”
His eyes snapped to mine. “I want to do it. I need to taste you.” I throbbed with my need for him to take me inside his sweet mouth.
His mouth opened, taking in as much as he could. The wet warmth surrounding my shaft was indescribable, and I had to have the will of a saint to keep my hips from thrusting down his throat. I needed to give him time to adjust before I took anything that far so I held myself still as he sucked me at his own pace. He used his tongue on each pass to lick just beneath the head, causing me to moan his name over and over. The noises he made as he fucked me with his mouth sent vibrations that had me on the edge of coming.
“If you don’t stop, I’m going to come.” He didn’t stop. Instead, he took me in further until he gagged slightly and I lost it. My hips thrust fast as my orgasm was right on the edge and then he stopped.
“Don’t stop,” I begged. “I need to come. I’m so close.” My cock throbbed, demanding relief.
“I want you to come.” He said as he reached for the side table that now apparently held condoms as well as the lube. I waited to see what he planned to do with them and moaned when he tore the foil open and then rolled it down his length.
I watched as he squeezed the lube and applied it like I had done the last time. He didn’t ask me to turn over. His body covered mine as he settled between my legs. My legs automatically wrapped around his hips, opening myself to him. His hand slipped between us, and he grazed my shaft and then lightly caressed my sack before seeking my entrance. Like he had done this more than once, he expertly worked me until I was ready for him.
“I want you so bad. All the time. Do you have any idea how many times it was you I imagined when I took myself in my hand?” His words were soft and seemed to be conveying every ounce of feeling that I was currently drowning in. When he pressed against me and pushed in, I cried out.
“Yes,” I hissed as he bottomed out. What started out as a slow rocking while he looked into my eyes with his deep green gaze, turned into two greedy, grinding bodies wanting nothing but to be as close together as we could get.
When we both came, and my heart stopped racing, I looked up at him and was met with a soft gaze I hadn’t seen on him before.
“Beard?” I asked.
“Soccer?” he mimicked with a small smile.
“I really, really like you.” His look of surprise made me wonder if maybe I shouldn’t have said that but he eased my fears.
“I really, really like you too. More than I probably should,” he admitted. I hoped that was true because I was quickly falling. I might already even be there, but I knew it wasn’t the time to bring that up.
When he pulled out of me, I missed his closeness immediately.
“I’m going to clean up,” he said with a final kiss.
“Ok, I’m going to grab one of your shirts since you ruined mine,” I called as he disappeared into the bathroom.
“Grab whatever you want.”
“Whatever I want?” I asked.
He leaned back into the room and narrowed his eyes. “I’m never going to get enough of you, am I?”
His words fucking destroyed me because I sure as hell hoped not. “Not if I have anything to say about it. Go shower.” I shooed him away and turned towards the microscopic closet. There wasn’t much in there, so I plucked up a soft-looking black shirt I had seen him wear a few times downstairs. When it pulled free of the hanger, it slipped from my fingers. Instead of falling to the floor, the shirt landed on a partially opened cardboard box. I picked it back up and slipped it over my head. Before I turned away something peeking through the opened top caught my attention and without thinking it through, I lifted the top the rest of the way off. What I saw shocked me.
&
nbsp; On top of everything else in the box there was a newspaper clipping showing a photo of a younger Beard, although I wouldn’t have called his clean-shaven face in the photo by that name. The picture had been cut out of the paper, so there weren’t any words to put with the photo. He looked just as intense as he did now but the uncertainty wasn’t there. He was decked out in soccer gear, but since the photo was black and white, I couldn’t see his team colors, but I recognized the logo as one of the top-ranked teams. I knew the students who attended there usually came from money, and I couldn’t help but wonder how much about Beard I still didn’t know. He was obviously keeping this part of his life secret on purpose and that hurt a little.
Beard had been a soccer player in college and had never mentioned it.
I held on to the clipping, using the other hand to dig further and found more memorabilia underneath including a pair of cleats with clumps of dirt still underneath, and photos of him with his teammates that had been loosely tossed in. I went through a few and wondered if one of them had been the guy he had trusted enough to be his first. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, a wave of nausea hit me, not because of the other guy, but because I was getting a bad feeling when I thought back to his story.
Beard worrying about how my team would react if they knew about us and wanting to avoid the field. What happened to him in college that made him leave. The scar he felt the need to cover and the fact that he never once mentioned having played. He would have said something if it wasn’t a sore subject, considering it was something we had in common. I knew that. So why hadn’t he? The answer seemed glaringly obvious. It took everything in me to not crush the piece of paper I was still holding in my right hand while I was invading his privacy with my left.
I felt him behind me before he even spoke.
“What are you doing?” His voice was gruff. There was anger there but more than anything, sadness.
“I grabbed one of your shirts, and it fell. The box was partly open, and I saw this,” I said showing him the paper. His eyes closed briefly, and his jaw flexed. Beard stood there in nothing but a towel, but I could only focus on the pain etched on his face. “Why didn’t you tell me you played?”
