by Drew Wagar
Her imagination ran away. Coran’s angry visage, Fitch’s cruel smirk …
They’ll throw me overboard …
She opened her eyes and looked around at Fitch. He saw her turn, looking at her with a squint. He patted the rifle next to him, not taking his eyes off her.
Or just shoot me! I can’t …
More memories battered her, the recall of the hatred that had coursed through her, the anger and fury that had consumed her.
Almost like it was someone else, but it wasn’t. That was me. I did it. I was just as brutal as I’ve accused Kiri of being. I tortured her. I attacked my friends. I could have killed them. I was totally out of control …
The memory sat in her mind, surrounded by layers of shame and horror.
I’ve never wanted to kill. It wasn’t me …
But it was. No one had forced her, no one had decided but her. It was as clear as crystal in her mind. Hurting Coran, Mel, Fitch, Daf and Creg, pushing aside the guards, picking up the staff; she could still feel it in her hands. She winced as the memory replayed, hearing Kiri’s screams echoing in her consciousness.
Her hands were shaking. The violence was a part of her, clearly she was capable of it. She remembered the man she had killed in the frozen wastes just sunward of Drem, crushing his mind like a dach egg.
I was provoked, the anger took me then too … and before that the rage I felt at Kiri when she attacked Viresia, hurting Liana and killing Torin. Even Nerina’s attack on me a stretch ago …
The same rage, a burning metallic sensation that overwhelmed her each time.
She clenched her eyes shut, trying to breathe, forcing air into her lungs, making a concerted effort to calm her racing heart. After a few moments the panic passed, but her thoughts were still spiralling in her mind.
She gasped.
The gift … it’s the gift!
The realisation hit her, causing her mind to spin backwards through everything she had experienced. It even went back to her childhood when she had been taunted by Shalla, seeking refuge with Raga; the fight with the molossc too.
The same anger, the same rage. Powered by the gift itself, inflamed by it?
Liana’s aggression against the priestesses, how she had struck Kiri down and tortured her before the walls of Viresia. How the priestesses had attacked with their righteous anger, their determination and cold resolve. Kiri’s assault on Turgan and then … Zoella winced again … her own torturing of Kiri.
Rage, rage, rage! The women with the gift … we all show it. All of us … even me. I am no warrior, yet look at what I did when I was angry … It’s like the gift has its own will.
She shuddered, the thought chilled her. What was the gift? She didn’t know. Caesar had said something about it. Meru had asked, but his question was cut off in the rush to save Amar. Zoella wracked her brains trying to remember.
Nano-infusion. That was what Caesar called it … but what is it? What does it mean? It’s something we have … something inside us.
She opened her eyes, staring down at her hands, turning them over and rubbing her fingers together. Words she had read came to her from long ago, when she had been sealed in the catacombs beneath the city of Viresia. A book she had seen dating back hundreds of rounds to the long lost Voren Empire.
The gift is found only in women and must be sought out by those already in full control of their gift. It lies dormant until the later stages of puberty by design, to avoid the complexities of such powers emerging in the immature …
Zoella frowned.
By design … somebody designed the gift? Made it … and then gave it to women to use to administer …
Her recall continued.
At no stage should the gift be used inappropriately. It is possible to reverse the natural order of the gift and use it to impart harm. In extreme cases it can be used to inflict pain of various types and control the actions of others. Such use of the gift is strictly forbidden …
She remembered reading the words. It was when she had first discovered who and what she was, a woman like the so-called witches of Drayden.
We’re not supposed to be doing this … what we’ve done with the gift … that’s not what it was for. The people of Voren knew this … but now …
There was one final phrase that her memory threw back into her consciousness.
It may become necessary to have the subject’s gift removed. In such situations the gift becomes additive to those who undertake the removal. This should be carefully monitored for abuse …
Zoella swallowed.
Liana was taking gifts from women for rounds, the priestesses too. Kiri must have done it and Nerina now threatens me with the same.
Zoella remembered meeting Kiri face to face in the tunnels under Airea, how Kiri had tried to take her gift. Ira had stopped it, but Zoella had learnt how it was done.
On the walls, when Kiri killed Ren.
Zoella remembered how she had struck at Kiri, trying to crush her mind as she had with the man in the frozen wastes. Kiri had fought back, but she was weak, hurt and exhausted.
Before the priestesses arrived, when Kiri slumped before me, I …
Her mouth dropped open in shock. She hadn’t even realised what she’d done.
I stole from her. I was stealing her gift even as I tried to kill her. Ever since, the rage has grown all the more. And when I beat her, she was weak, she couldn’t fend me off. Kiri has lost some of her powers … to me!
Zoella looked up, watching the sea roll past the bow of the Mobilis.
And with that extra power I almost killed her … too much is dangerous, maybe that’s why the priestesses seek to conquer, like Liana did … they can’t help it … they’re ruled by the gift itself!
The memory of Nerina’s thought attack came into her mind.
And she is pursuing me too … she wants my gift to further her own ends, to become even more powerful! She won’t let me go. What am I going to do?
She heard footsteps behind her. She turned to see Mel walking up the decking.
‘Any luck?’ Mel asked.
‘Luck?’ Zoella asked, bewildered.
‘Contacting Kiri.’
Zoella shook her head.
‘Oh … no. I can’t hear her, there’s nothing,’ Zoella said. ‘I’ve tried and tried, but …’
She saw Mel nod, her expression glum.
‘We’re going as fast as we can,’ Mel said, bracing herself as the Mobilis pitched across the swell of the sea. ‘There’s nothing else we can do now, but try to get there as fast as possible.’
‘I’ll keep trying,’ Zoella said.
Mel crouched down beside her and squeezed her shoulder.
‘It’s not your fault, you know.’
Zoella slumped, her head falling forward.
‘Come on,’ Mel said. ‘Stop beating yourself up over what is said and done. You can’t change the past.’
‘But if I’d just left her alone,’ Zoella said. ‘Meru wouldn’t have run off, we would all be tackling this together. Instead …’
‘Meru running off was his decision,’ Mel told her. ‘He could have just knocked you out, taken Kiri to the medical ship and stayed put. You can’t take responsibility for what he’s done, or whatever has happened to him now.’
Zoella shrugged. ‘I suppose …’
‘Don’t give up on him,’ Mel said. ‘Meru has a funny way of getting out of scrapes. The flying machine might be damaged, they might be out of range …’
‘But I can’t sense Kiri at all,’ Zoella replied, turning to look at Mel. ‘If she’s awake I should be able to sense her. I’m sure something bad has happened.’
‘Maybe she still doesn’t want to be sensed,’ Mel said. ‘She knows we don’t trust her, maybe she’s just choosing not to answer.’
‘I’m sure I’d still be able to tell she was alive. It’s hard to hide that if someone is searching.’
‘Well, I don’t understand this power of yours,’ Mel said. �
��Give me the ’tricity any stretch. I can figure that out.’
‘It’s all connected somehow,’ Zoella answered. ‘The ’tricity, the Obelisk, the gift. Even Caesar said it was something that was inside us somehow.’
‘Inside?’
‘I think I figured out what happened to me, what made me so angry … it’s this power, this so called gift some of us have.’
‘How?’
Zoella explained her thinking about the gift, the priestesses and everything else she had seen. Mel listened thoughtfully.
‘It kinda makes sense,’ Mel said, after thinking for a moment. ‘We all wondered where such hatred came from, it seemed so unlike you.’
‘It isn’t me,’ Zoella said. ‘Or it’s a part of me I don’t want to be me.’
Mel nodded. ‘We all have a darker side you know, when we’re pushed to the edge. It’s part of what we are. Particularly quiet ones like you.’ She grinned. ‘Come on, you’ll get scorched out here. It’s broiling. You should come below deck and get a drink.’
Zoella tensed.
‘You’re part of this crew,’ Mel said to her, her voice lower. ‘Coran said so and so it is. No more recriminations from anyone. We all agreed. There’s not a person aboard who hasn’t done something wrong in the past. I know I have.’ She laughed and got to her feet.
Zoella looked up and smiled. ‘Thank you for giving me another chance, after what I did …’
Mel held up a finger. ‘Enough of that. In the past remember? We’ve got enough trouble up ahead. Let’s keep focussed on that, eh? Let’s find Meru, fix this snuttin’ Obelisk and get back home. Nothing else we need to worry about.’
Zoella couldn’t help it. She let out a sob and then was crying again.
‘What is it?’ Mel asked, crouching down beside her and looking at her with a concerned expression. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘I can’t …’ Zoella said. ‘You’ll … He’ll …’ She gestured up at Fitch.
Zoella was shuddering.
‘Hey … you’ve not done anything …’
‘It’s … it’s …’
Mel touched her arm.
‘It’s alright. Just tell me.’
Zoella looked up at Mel, her face was pale, terror etched on her features.
‘It’s that woman, the high priestess … Nerina.’
‘What, the one we fought off at Amar?’
Zoella nodded. ‘She’s alive.’
Mel frowned. ‘How do you know?’
‘She … she tried to get into my mind …’
‘When was this?’
‘When we left Amar.’ Zoella looked up guiltily. ‘I should have said something but I thought …’
She looked up at Fitch.
Mel looked around to see where she was looking.
‘It’s alright,’ Mel said, keeping her voice steady. ‘Just tell me what happened.’
Zoella took a deep breath.
‘I was trying to make sure I wouldn’t get angry again,’ Zoella said. ‘I stayed out of everyone’s way in my cabin as agreed, just tried to be calm. It seemed to be working, but then …’
‘Go on,’ Mel said.
‘Her thoughts pushed into my head, strong and hard … forceful. She knew who I was, where I was. She plans to find me and …’
Zoella shuddered. Mel pulled her into an embrace.
‘We won’t let that happen, you hear me?’ Mel said. ‘We won’t.’
‘You won’t be able to stop her …’
‘We stopped her once,’ Mel retorted. ‘We can do it again. But we’ve got to tell Coran. This changes things. If she knows where we are … why didn’t you tell us?’
‘I thought…’ Zoella was shivering uncontrollably. She glanced at Fitch and then at Mel.
Mel sighed.
‘You thought we’d do you in if you did?’ Mel said. ‘Oh, Zoella…’
Mel pulled her into a tight hug. ‘We ain’t killers girl. We might shout and bitch a lot, but not that. You poor thing.’
‘Maybe you should,’ Zoella cried. ‘It would be better if I was dead.’
Mel pulled back.
‘Belay that talk,’ she scolded. ‘Part of the crew, remember? Come on, Coran needs to know.’
Mel took her hand and pulled her along the deck towards the bridge.
* * *
Kiri coughed. She spluttered, jolting and retching. Water was in her mouth, muddy and silty. She choked, spitting it out of her mouth, wrenching herself upwards.
She gasped as pain flashed down her side and she grimaced, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand so she could see.
She was lying in a pool of mud, on the shore of a lake that stretched out before her. Above, a huge curving wall of cloud stretched into the heavens like an enormous barrier. She cowered before it, awed by its moving majesty. She could see it wrapped around the horizon, a complete circle, though its far side was hard to see in the distance.
Lacaille blazed overhead, almost half the sky consumed by its overwhelming orb.
This must be the centre …
Her side stung. She looked down to see her clothing ripped and a gash in her skin. It was bleeding, but it was already half congealed. Sore, but not dangerous, assuming she could wash the dirt out of it. The rest of her was covered in mud. Turning around she gazed beyond the line of the shore.
She gasped.
A vast tower reached into the heavens. She trembled as she looked at it. It had to be as tall as the cloud wall, perhaps even higher, its surface glowing with the reflected light of Lacaille, pure untarnished metal.
It was shaped like a triangle, narrow at the top, and splayed out wider at the bottom, but there was a gentle arc to its shape, more pronounced at the base. At the very top Kiri could see something strange, a colouration or a disturbance of the air, she wasn’t sure. The tower dwarfed even the vast shades that clustered around it, reaching up far into the heavens.
The Obelisk!
She got to her knees, wincing with the effort and pain, staring in shock for long moments.
How did …?
She looked around her.
Meru? Where is Meru? What happened?
She cast her mind back, trying to recall.
We were flying, something went wrong, the machine fell out of the sky … crash!
She shook her head, and regretted it. Her head pulsed with pain. She clenched her eyes shut until it subsided.
She crawled out of the mud. The pool blocked her vision so she pulled herself up its sides and over the top.
Beyond lay the wreckage of the flying machine.
It was crumpled over on one side, bent and buckled from the impact with the ground. The cockpit windows were gone, the stubby wings bent backwards. Debris was scattered all around. Water was flowing past her. It seemed they had crashed in a shallow river bed.
Kiri staggered to her feet, limping forwards, noticing all manner of small cuts across her skin and arms.
I must have been flung through the window somehow …
She hobbled over to the flying machine, wrenching at the twisted remains of the door. It bent with a creak and fell off its hinges, clattering to the floor.
Meru was inside, slumped across the controls.
‘Meru!’
Kiri scrambled in, ignoring the pain in her body. She pulled his head back to see a jagged cut across his temple. He moaned as she moved him. To her relief his eyes opened and he moaned.
He looked up at her.
‘Kiri?’ His voice was a rasp.
‘Yes, I’m here? Are you hurt?’
Meru tried to move and cried out.
‘My leg,’ he said, through gritted teeth.
Kiri looked. The forward console of the flying machine had been bent by the impact and had crushed down on Meru’s legs, pinning him in place. There was no blood that she could see.
‘I think you’re just caught,’ she said. ‘I’ll see if I can pull you out.’
She climbed alongside him, pulli
ng at the harness that was still strapped in place about him.
‘You … you’re …?’
‘I’m fine, just cuts and bruises,’ she said, ignoring her own pain and stiffness. The harness came away and she pushed it out of place.
She became aware of a noise behind her. She spun around to see what it was and her heart lurched in her chest. For a moment she thought the flying machine was sinking, but then she saw the rocks outside submerge in a flowing torrent of water. As she watched the water rose to cover them, lapped at the base of the door frame and started pouring into the cabin.
‘We’ve got to move!’ she yelled.
Meru tried to move upwards, Kiri grabbing him under the armpits and yanking as hard as she could. Meru cried out in pain.
‘My knee …’ he gasped.
The console had pinned his left leg just above the knee. Water was already sloshing around their feet, rising fast. Kiri yanked at the console, but it was made of solid metal and wouldn’t budge. She tried pushing down on the seat, but she couldn’t move it.
The water lapped up to Meru’s legs and then rose to his waist.
‘The chair has a control,’ he said. ‘It will slide back … look for a lever …’
Kiri stumbled back, the water rising to her chest. It was warm, but filled with mud and dirt, making it impossible to see. She fumbled around the seat, searching for anything to grasp. ‘I can’t find it!’ she yelled.
‘At the back on the right side …’ His words gurgled in mid-sentence as the water reached his chin. ‘My right …’
The interior of the cockpit was flooded. Kiri caught a last lungful of air and then dove underwater, feeling her way around the seat. She could barely see, the water stinging her eyes.
She caught hold of a metal bar.
She yanked.
It didn’t move.
The urge to breathe was already growing, bubbles floated in front of her. She could hear the muffled surge of the water as the torrent raged about her.
She braced herself and pulled on the lever with the last of her strength.
It released with a jolt, throwing her backwards. She struggled to pull Meru’s body. He was heavy, hard to move in the current. She could barely see the doorway through which she had come, but she pulled at him, dragging him behind her.
