by Stewart, Ann
“Barney is looking for you, Prescott,” Alex interrupts our conversation, handing me a drink. Anxiously standing in front of me, he waits for Oliver to rise. Trust me Oliver; you don’t want to play this game with him.
Oliver stands, but before he slinks away, he reaches down and kisses my hand. “Always a pleasure, Elyssa.”
Clearly agitated, Alex stares ahead, filling the now vacant seat.
“Hi,” I smile, hoping to lighten the mood.
“Hi,” Alex mutters as his forearm brushes against mine, sending goose bumps up my arm. His fist is clutched around his beer bottle. My poor insecure heart; he’s getting worked up over little ole’ Oliver. I want to soothe him, tell him there’s nothing to worry about, that I love him and only him. But, I refrain from making any physical contact knowing the implications if I did. Instead, I continue to will him to look at me. Once he does, my persistent smile remains until I see his knuckles return to his normal skin tone. Crisis averted.
Thankfully the Bostonians are in full swing, refocusing Alex’s attention. Already drunk as can be, they are singing a dreadful rendition of Backstreet Boys, I Want it That Way. Alex and I laugh in unison, the vibration of his rumble is contagious and the tension from earlier is slowly fading away. They bow as the song ends and the bar erupts in applause. As awful as that was to listen to, I would hate to follow their exuberance on stage.
Grabbing the mic, the D.J. asks the crowd to give another round of applause to the Backstreet Bostonian Boys. After the noise level drops, the D.J. continues, “Next, please welcome to the stage, Alexander James.” My mouth drops open. He’s always so reserved. I never would have imagined that he would sing in front of a large group of people, let alone any business colleagues. I gape at him as he rises from his seat.
Softly he whispers in my ear, “I had to get your attention somehow.” I sigh. Oh Alex, you always have my attention.
As he walks towards the stage, I catch Oliver on my right rolling his eyes again. Shaking his head in annoyance, he leans over and begins a conversation with one of the guys from Boston. I purse my lips, shaking my own head in annoyance at his lack of subtlety, before returning my attention back to the stage. Back to my heart.
Approaching the D.J., Alex inquires about something, before the D.J. nods his head in agreement. My eyes follow the silent answer as Alex grabs the guitar and returns to the center of the stage, taking a seat on the lonely stool.
As he tunes the guitar, he sits bent over, strumming each string separately until it’s pitch-perfect. Watching him like there’s no one else in the room, it takes me a minute to notice it has gotten eerily quiet as the twang of the strings draws the attention of the entire bar.
At his own leisure, and seemingly not paying attention to anyone else, Alex stands and removes his suit jacket. Throwing it onto the empty seat next to me, he has officially marked his claim. He is painfully handsome in his black slacks, blue button up shirt and black vest. Oh my; what that vest does to me… Hugging his torso, it accentuates his perfect build and svelte waist. Rolling his sleeves to his elbows, he stares into my longing eyes as he returns to his stool. Trying to contain the anticipation and desire, I bite my lip and watch while his breath hitches.
The soothing melodic sound coming from Alex’s lips is indescribable. If I wasn’t already sitting, his deep, masculine voice would bring me to my knees. His acoustic rendition of James Morrison’s You Make it Real has moved me to tears. With his head hung low and his eyes glued shut, he clings to the guitar like a lifeline. Focused only on the words, I momentarily close my eyes, basking in the music and the words aimed directly at me.
Even though he’s been indifferent since dinner, showing no emotion towards me at all, I know this is his way of professing his feelings for me. Although public, his declaration is discrete. And perfect.
Boisterously loud, my moment is disrupted by a woman sitting two seats away, squirming in her seat. I heard her a few moments ago, but I was so entranced by the melodies, that I thought I had been successful in tuning her out. Sadly, she continues to make inappropriate comments about Alex singing to her from between her thighs, and I can’t help the thunderous feeling bubbling under my skin. And unfortunately, there isn’t just one of them. Before I turn to glare in their direction, their witchy cackles cause me to flinch. Damn. I thought men were inappropriate, but these women are clearly in heat.
“Wooohooo you can sing for me anytime!” Irritation builds as she resumes the laughter with her girlfriends. They raise their glasses, toasting to the beautiful man on stage. “To the fine piece of ass, may he use his mouth for more than just singing.”
Little do they know, nor do they probably care, that he’s completely spoken for. Noticing my fixed stare the group huddles close together to continue their banter. With a roll of my eyes, I turn back around. They don’t deserve my time. Of course other women find him attractive, Alex is the ultimate – a body made for sin, lips that carry the voice of an angel, and a mind to keep any woman intellectually stimulated. He is absolute perfection, and he is mine!
Focusing my attention back on the stage, I wipe my tear pooled eyes as Alex sings the last verse. Finally raising his eyes, he makes contact with mine and the beginning of our night no longer matters. Regardless of the throng of people surrounding us, in that moment, it’s just the two of us as we look longingly at each other. Our own peaceful moment in the sea of a hundred strangers.
I clap vigorously, but realize my applause is nothing compared to the whistles and yells from the rest of the bar. After returning the guitar, Alex strides back towards the empty seat where his jacket currently lies. The crowd disperses, but not before patting him on the back, giving him praise.
“James, I never knew you could carry a tune. You definitely missed your calling,” Barney yells from across the bar, raising his beer up to congratulate him. Holding up his hand, Alex accepts Barney’s compliment as he claims his seat next to me.
“That was…amazing,” I smile. “The song was…” I shy away, turning my head. I’m like an open book; anyone here can read how I’m feeling. With so many prying eyes I would hate to jeopardize our isolated relationship by giving away too much.
“It was for you.” I bite my lip to hide my growing smile as I return my gaze upon him. He isn’t hiding any emotions any more. Even if he can’t physically show me, I can feel his love.
My eyes search the crowd surrounding us, hoping that our private conversation is unnoticeable. “Alex…you have to be careful. What if someone notices?”
Tilting his head in Oliver’s direction, Alex fumes. “I had to get your attention. Oliver was practically humping your leg…again.” A giggle escapes my lips before I’m able to cover my mouth.
Needing to feel his touch, I brush my finger against the top of his hand for just a brief second, before placing my hands back into my lap. “Alex, you have never lost my attention.”
“It’s hard to be around him, around men period, and not have the ability to show them that you’re mine and show you how I feel,” Alex whispers, bringing his lips close to the lobe of my ear. I can practically feel the graze of his lips and shudder at the intimacy. He better be careful; too much of that and I won’t be responsible for my actions.
Focusing on something other than Alex and his touch, I fidget with the zipper of my purse to try and calm myself down. “You seem to turn it on and off so easily. I was beginning to worry.”
“Elyssa, I can’t turn off what I feel for you. It’s just…I’m having a hard time balancing everything. One minute I’m completely lost in you and then the next I’m supposed to treat you like any other female. It’s hard to do when you constantly have admirers vying for your attention.” Two hats…
I gesture with my thumb to the table behind us. “Well, if it makes you feel any better I wanted to rip her arms off and beat her with them while you were singing.”
Alex glances in their direction. “It appears that tonight is a test of our self-contro
l. You know they are nothing compared to you.” Unable to show his emotion through touch, Alex relies on his eyes to show his need. And trust me, I feel it.
“You know you could have anyone you want; including the banshees over there. Don’t you ever think about how easy it could be if you were with someone who wasn’t…me?”
“I don’t give a fuck about easy. I care about making this work with you. Didn’t you hear the words to my song? It’s you…you make everything real for me. Even when we were at our worst…I still had hope, because I knew that losing you would be like living in a world without sight and sound. What kind of life would that be?” I feel the same way. I know it would be easier to love someone who I could be with openly, but I don’t want easy, I want him.
“Elyssa, you make my world beautiful…even when you’re driving me crazy…I know in the end, we will always find a way back.”
I stare at him, not knowing what to say. He’s like sunshine for me; warm, inviting, and completely essential. So, I say the only thing that comes to mind, “I need to be alone with you, right now.”
We sneak out, barely escaping Oliver’s watchful eye.
~~~~~
With my shoes in one hand and Alex’s fingers intertwined in the other, I’m replete as we walk along the San Diego coast. The cool water feels incredible as the sand tickles with every grain that slips through my toes. Pacing ourselves, we are enjoying our last night before we return to reality. Reality…ugh. I wish we could stay here forever. I wouldn’t even mind going to boring sessions about techniques for improving employee value, if it meant we could be us. Just Alex and Ely. It would be nice to not worry about putting on a façade.
“Why can’t we just stay here?” I nuzzle against him, pouting.
“Because we have responsibilities; besides do you want to live on the streets? I don’t see you roughing it.” He bumps my shoulder as we continue our stride.
I halt our progression, bringing my hand up to caress his cheek. “I could live in a cardboard box with you, begging for money and food. I don’t need extravagant things…I only want you.”
Placing his hand over mine, he lets my touch linger as he lowers his head. “Elyssa, there’s so much you don’t know about me. So much we don’t know about each other. If you knew everything…let’s just say I haven’t been the best man. I’m trying to right my wrongs, but karma has a way of beating you down.”
“Alex, I know in your life, anything less than perfection is unacceptable, and the slightest fault makes you automatically feel undeserving. But, at this point, I can’t think of one single thing that would scare me away from you.”
He looks pained. I wish I knew what he was thinking, but I can see his personal demons aren’t going to let me in. “I know you wouldn’t want to make such gestures without knowing everything.”
“Then tell me,” I plead, bringing my hand up to rest on the nape of his neck. Alex flinches slightly, but brings the palm of my hand to his lips, placing a slow lingering kiss.
“In due time; I’d like to enjoy this for as long as I can. Once you know…I’m afraid the sight and color will fade from my world once again.” The moon highlights his square jaw, revealing the pout forming on his mouth. “I really hope I don’t mess this up.”
“You worry too much. I seem to recall you doing a brilliant job. In fact, you’re doing so well, that I now have a deeper appreciation for chocolate syrup.” I blush.
“It’s not just the sex, my Hart. I’ve been with plenty of women. But with you…just being around you makes me happy; even when I’m not deep inside you hearing you scream my name.” My insides clench at his erotic words. His blatant ability to talk about sex is shocking. And HOT!
Noticing my desperation, and heated touch, we continue down the beach. Considering I want to push him down and sexually assault him on the sand, it’s probably a good thing that Alex changes topics. “So, you’re not flying out with me tomorrow?”
“I don’t fly,” I respond automatically. Knowing I haven’t told him about my parents, I lessen my tenacity, and continue. “Haven’t been able to…that’s how my parents died. I haven’t felt comfortable in a plane since.” Not that I’ve tried.
“I didn’t know,” he admits, pulling me in closer. Thankfully he doesn’t pry, only to ask what time I was planning on driving back home.
“I was going to leave around eleven.”
“I’ll ride with you. It could be fun,” he says nonchalantly, trying to hide the excitement in his last words.
I’m stunned; I really wasn’t expecting that. “You would give up your cushy, first class ticket to drive home with me?”
“I’d give up a lot more to spend time alone with you.” With the cool breeze gently swaying past us, Alex brushes away strands of hair, tucking them behind my ear. “I’ll cancel my flight in the morning.” I smile bashfully, as we progress further along the beach.
Thinking about how we ended up here, I search for more of an explanation of the Alex versus Oliver conflict. And come up with nothing. “Alex, I have to ask…what’s up with you and Oliver?” He looks over at me curiously, making me feel a need to explain. “Sorry, it’s just that you guys are always at each other’s throats, and it can’t just be because of me.”
Seemingly resolved, he decides to open up. “I’ve known Oliver for a few years and what can I say, we’ve always been competitive. I think with both of us vying for your attention, it’s been amplified.”
I pull him back, grabbing the sides of his face, forcing him to look into my eyes. I need to make sure he knows how I feel. I need him to know there is no one else; especially not Oliver. “You know there’s no competition when it comes to me, right? I would always choose you. In any scenario, I will always choose you.”
“You feel the same for me, as I do for you.” Alex toys with one of the rings on my finger, appearing slightly apprehensive. “Just stay away from him, Elyssa. He despises me and I don’t want you to get in the middle of it.”
“I don’t understand why he hates you so much,” I conclude. Taking Alex’s hand, I drag him towards the dry sand. The water is getting a little nippy and my feet crave dryness.
With a sigh, he reluctantly continues. “We both applied for the V.P. position. Obviously, I got it. Since then there’s always been a rivalry between us,” Alex shrugs, like it’s that simple. I know he’s keeping something from me. “I can deal with any of his issues being directed at me, but I can’t risk him using you to get to me.”
“Alex, no one knows we’re together. How could he use me against you?”
“He’s perceptive and I’m sure he’s noticed how I look at you. If he even thinks that you mean something to me, business or professional, he’ll use you to get to me. He’s a sleazy bastard.” Stopping to search his face, I’m astonished at his choice of words. Sure, Oliver’s approach is pretentious; but sleaze is a bit much.
Seeing my doubt, he snickers. “Trust me, Elyssa, I wish I wasn’t being serious. Late last year we attended a conference together. One of the broker’s was flirting with me, and of course, Oliver saw us talking and thought he would fit right into the conversation.”
Wait, what…some floozy was flirting with my Alex? Breathe, Ely! The past is the past. Dang, I get it now. If the mention of another woman innocently flirting with Alex makes me see red, I can’t imagine how he feels every time Oliver is around. I really need to cut him some slack. At least I’m battling with his past; he has to deal with the present.
“Later that night, I found him fucking her in the staircase of our hotel.” His description is harsh and crude. I can’t judge, though. Making love in the throes of passion, even in the most inconvenient locations, is sometimes necessary. But grimy sex with a stranger…no, that’s sickening. Wait, didn’t you just say you couldn’t judge? It wasn’t that long ago that Alex was taking you in a private booth of a very crowded dance club.
“Not to say he isn’t pursuing you because you’re absolutely stunning, but I’
m sure he has other motives.” Already feeling a little flushed, I blush at his backhanded compliment.
“Oliver’s completely harmless. You really have nothing to worry about.”
Suddenly, bringing me into a constricting embrace, passion erupts as our kiss deepens. Pulling back he insists, “Promise me you’ll stay away from him. I know there’s no competition, but I don’t trust him.”
“I promise.” I lay my hand on his chest, over his heart and promise to always take his feelings into consideration and love with my eyes open.
Alex releases me from our embrace, trying to pull me towards our footprints in the sand. “You’re cold. Let’s head back.” Not wanting to waste any amount of time, I pull against his retreat as he gazes at me inquisitively.
Searching the distance, I’m relieved when I see there is no one around for miles. “You could keep me warm another way,” I glow, suggestively raising my eyebrows.
With his eyes half shut, breathe catching on my seductive words, “Are you asking me…”
Not knowing what I’m about to get myself into, I bite my lip and divulge another secret truth. “I’ve never had sex on the beach before. I want you to be my first.”
“And last.” Alex takes me into his arms, passionately kissing me until I can barely breathe. “Thank God you’re wearing a dress.”
Kneeling before me, his hands playfully travel up my thighs, affecting every inch of my already raw skin. Removing my panties, he places them in his front pocket. “Are you sure about this?” I nod confidently, looking down at my very own sex God. Him kneeling before me, the cold air touching my damp sex, the heated look passing between our eyes…I want nothing more in this moment for him to be inside me, to eliminate the cold. Laying his jacket down on the sand, he pulls me towards him as I lay bare my wants and desires for him to consume.
Alex makes love to me under the stars. The waves of the ocean along with his moans are an erotic lullaby that I will remember for eternity.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
