by K. Ferrin
“Alekka...” Micah motioned to her. She could delay no longer. She took a deep breath and plunged in.
“I am going to reach for him. We don’t know where he is, and it may not work, but if I can get to him he may be able to tell us how to find the Winter Isle and thus Nox Noctis Tower and the Dark Wizard, or at least tell us how to get him out of whatever trouble he is in so he can draw the map for us. Simply going north is not a good option, and I think we all know that. We can if we must, and we will if no other option presents itself, but I think we should try this first.”
“Why have you not done this before, Alekka?” Leali asked. “There must be some catch, or I’m sure you would have suggested this earlier.”
Alekka took a deep breath. Only Micah had any idea how close she’d come to losing herself and attacking her companions when she’d immersed herself in the mind of the bat king. She had not wanted any of the others to know how vulnerable she was, and through her, how vulnerable they were. But there was no way she could ask them to do this without their understanding the full risk.
“We don’t know where Noz is. We don’t know what has detained him. He might be in the Dark Wizard’s hands.” She was dancing around the truth and she knew it.
“What does that matter? What is at the heart of your hesitation?” Leali’s tone was gentle, and Alekka wondered if Micah had been the only one to see after all.
“When you reach into the mind of another, you immerse yourself in the current of them. In a sense, you become them. You experience their thoughts as if they were your own, and their feelings become your feelings. Most of the time I am able to retain who I am and let the current that is them rush over and around the core that is me, sort of like a boulder in a rushing river. The water is all around the boulder, brushing it, touching it—is above it and on all sides. The boulder feels it, but is able to remain a boulder and maintain its place in the river. But if the water becomes bigger than the boulder, more powerful, the boulder can be picked up and pushed downstream as if it is a part of the river itself.”
She stared at her companions sitting quietly around the table staring back at her and wondered what they were thinking behind their carefully blank expressions. She pressed on. “Amentis is strong, we all know that. He’s very likely stronger than I am, and if he is waiting for us…for me…it will be possible for him to pick me up and roll me downstream just like that river rock. He will be able to use me to his ends, and I may not be capable of stopping him.”
She felt her breath come easier. She worried about their response, but she was glad to have the truth out there. It was better this way.
“We should do it,” Leali said. “The benefits outweigh the risks. Even if something bad were to happen, we could always bind her.”
“Or be forced to kill her.” Elisa’s voice was soft, her gaze uncharacteristically gentle on Alekka. Alekka saw Micah flinch out of the corner of her eye, and longed to reach out to him. She kept her arms firmly at her sides and squared her shoulders instead. She had to stay strong in this, for everyone’s sake.
“It is possible the Dark Wizard has no idea of our quest. But it is very possible he does,” she said.
“How could he possibly—” Leali started.
“He was inside of the bat king when I battled him. I saw him and he saw me. At least I think it was him. No, I’m certain it was him,” Alekka interrupted.
Leali’s eyes went flinty. “Why didn’t you tell us before now, Alekka? You’ve put us all at risk!”
“It matters little now, Leali. Leave her be,” Ashier, ever the pragmatist, said. “Does anyone have any other suggestions?” he asked. “Alekka is right, we can’t stay here, and we need the help that Noz offers us. We cannot simply travel north in the hopes we stumble upon the Winter Isle. If it were as easy as all that, someone would have found it already.” He glanced at Tredon apologetically. Tredon had been pushing them to do just that for the last several weeks. Alekka glanced at Tredon. His eyes were hooded, whatever his thoughts about this discussion he kept them carefully hidden beneath a mask of indifference.
The cabin fell silent; the only sound the soft exhalations of seven people who were out of options.
“Alekka, are you certain you want to do this?” Elisa asked her. “We will find another way if you have any doubt.”
Alekka laughed mirthlessly. “Oh, I have plenty of doubts, Elisa. But this is our best chance, and we must take it. We need to find him, and we have wasted enough time as it is. We do it. But I want you all prepared to bind me, or...or to do whatever you must if things go badly.” She looked each one of them in the eye to make sure they understood and that they accepted what she was putting on their shoulders. She didn’t look at Micah. She didn’t have to.
They all nodded acceptance. “Begin your preparations, then. I will go to the garden for mine.”
As she moved to the door she grasped Micah’s hand in her own and pulled him after her. Once out on the porch she turned to face him square on, grasping both his hands in her own. Today wasn’t a day for holding things back. His concern was etched into the tight wrinkles at the sides of his eyes, his usually vibrant blue eyes reduced to watery flatness and his normally full lips pressed into a flat line as he kept a tight hold on whatever it was he wanted to say.
“I will be fine, Micah,” she said softly, willing it to be true.
Micah said nothing, his whole body taught.
“But I want you to know something. Something important.”
He looked into her eyes, and what she saw there tightened her throat. She couldn’t bring herself to say it like she had that sun-drenched morning in his room, so she leaned in and pressed her lips to his instead. She slid her hands up his arms and twined them behind his head, leaning into him. Without pause she felt his arms slide around her waist to pull her closer, all the tension melting out of him. His lips softened, and then opened in welcome.
When she finally pulled back, she felt alight with a hunger deep inside of her that threatened to overwhelm. For a moment she deeply regretted not giving in to this sooner. They could have had many days together instead of only these few moments scattered in between one life-threatening crisis and the next.
“Don’t let him in, Alekka.” Micah’s voice was husky, roughened with desire and emotion, and with a quick, sharp kiss to the corner of her mouth, he turned from her and was gone. The abruptness of his departure left her feeling like a chair that had suddenly lost a leg. She hugged her arms around her middle as if she were holding all the pieces of her in place and moved out into the garden to prepare.
It was hard to get started.
Her mind spun wildly, filled with doubt and fear. She had to come to terms with the fear that Amentis would be there waiting, and the fear that she might hurt her friends. Her concern for Noz, the strange creature of such great wisdom and kindness, snatched away from them too soon, maybe dead, possibly because of them. She had to push down her feelings about what had happened with Micah—that look she’d seen in his eyes, and the answering desire still coursing through her own body.
You’re not a mage for nothing, Alekka, she told herself firmly as slowly, steadily, years of training finally kicked in and one by one her roiling emotions were locked away and her mind settled into a quiet and receptive state. She lingered here, open and waiting, listening for any word from the ether, any message advising her not to move forward with this or offering an alternative. The wind was still—not even an insect buzzed in the garden around her. The very world held its breath, waiting for whatever was to come.
It was several hours later when she climbed to her feet, eyes glazed and distant, in a deep meditative state. The others had cleared the living room, pushing all the furniture to the far walls. They sat quietly in a circle, but Alekka was so deeply entranced that she barely saw them. She settled into the center of the circle and began her search without a word.
She opened herself up to the world around her, shuddered as her awareness
slipped the tight bonds of her flesh and floated, weightless, through the atmosphere. She hovered there, savoring the sensation of absolute weightlessness and freedom from all the bindings and concerns of the physical world, and then she sped away. North. She was convinced the Dark Wizard had taken Noz, and if she were to find him, it would be there.
When she saw the earth beneath her covered in thick snow, she began zigzagging across the landscape like a hunting dog searching out a felled bird. In a sense, that was exactly what she was doing—seeking a strand of his life force that she could follow to his physical body. She’d often wondered if this was how the Ghosts sought their prey.
She had no idea how much time had passed, but her incorporeal form seemed to be getting heavier and heavier, and she knew she was running out of time. You could only spend so much time outside of yourself when reaching, and if you lingered overlong you could lose your ability to return. No magecraft came without a price, and the price of staying in a reach for too long was a dead body and a trapped, bodiless soul.
She stopped her zigzag and rose high into the mist, scanning the shadowy landscape around her. Far to the east, she finally saw what she was looking for. A faint purple haze hovered there, barely discernible, but instantly she knew it was Noz. She gathered her flagging energy around her like armor, thickening it layer after layer all around herself. She could see nothing else near that purple haze, but she felt certain something lurked there, just beyond her sight.
As she grew close she opened the tiniest crack in her armor and sent a hair-thin tendril of consciousness toward that purple haze. A tentative inquiry. She felt a startled withdrawal at first; a recoil from her gentle touch, and then a soft question in return. Then a swell like a tidal wave burst from the haze and entered her tendril of magic, traveling up and through and cracking open her armored shell. She cried out, struggling wildly against the invasion, but her effort was thoughtlessly pushed aside, and she was taken.
She had no control now.
And she had no idea if it was Noz or Amentis that controlled her.
[ 19 ]
Alekka’s body, seemingly possessed by some unseen force, careened to the far side of the room and bounced off the wall.
“Paper. Get me paper now!” she shouted.
Magicless leapt to her side, lifting her head gently and pushing the hair from her face as he felt his own face twist in fear. The mages recoiled in shock. No one moved or said a word.
“I don’t have time for this,” Alekka said, shoving Magicless aside. “If you want a map you need to move. Now!”
Alekka’s mouth was moving, but the voice coming out of her was Noz’s. The paralysis broke, and the others jumped into action. Elisa ran for pen and paper while Leali and Tredon moved into position beside Alekka. Alekka climbed to her feet, moving to the table and swiping it free of books with an abrupt gesture.
“The paper, here,” Noz said through Alekka’s mouth, gesturing to the empty table. Elisa thrust both pen and paper at Alekka and she began drawing furiously, her brow furrowed in deep concentration. As she drew, she spoke.
“This map shows the true way, but none other than the Boy Without Magic will be able to see it for what it is. Amentis is strong, and he and his minions will work together against you. Only one who can see through magic will be capable of navigating these forces. You must trust him and follow him in this.”
Her hand flew wildly over the page. The map grew and fleshed out faster than Magicless’ eyes could follow. “And beware the Illes, they are not as you think they are. You cannot hope to best them. You will find them near the river crossing in Avery Grove.”
Harsh choking noises began tearing from Alekka’s throat, but her hand kept moving. Her body began to shake, her limbs jerking violently. She gripped her left hand with her right in an effort to still the shaking and kept drawing. The map was almost complete.
“What’s happening?” Magicless’ voice shook as he stared at the jerking convulsions of Alekka’s body.
Jobin gripped Magicless’ arm, restraining him from approaching her again. “Let her draw, Micah. We need that map!”
“Not if it is going to kill her we don’t!” Magicless shoved Jobin off and hurried to Alekka’s side.
“Fine. I’m fine, and so is she,” Noz’s voice choked out of Alekka’s lips. “He knows I am away, I have little time.”
Her entire body went taught, and with one last stroke of the pen she collapsed onto the floor, unmoving and not breathing.
Elisa jumped to Alekka’s side and placed her mouth against Alekka’s. Silvery light danced at the joining of their lips, and Elisa’s eyes closed in concentration. Slowly, Alekka’s chest began to rise and fall, but her eyes were still rolled back into her head.
“Alekka!” Magicless cried out. Jobin gripped him hard. “Find your way back! You can’t—!” He turned and stared at Jobin, eyes wild, but Jobin was smiling.
“She’ll be fine, Micah. I’ve heard that this happens after a reaching. It’s normal. She’ll be fine. She’ll come back.”
Jobin was right. After several long, slow breaths, Alekka began to cough. She rolled to her side, hacking but breathing on her own. Jobin released Magicless and he collapsed next to her, taking her face in his hands and staring into her eyes. “Are you alright, Alekka?” He asked, holding her gently. “Say something!”
Magicless saw her draw in a ragged breath. “Yes. Yes. I’m fine, Micah. Tea, please.” She sat up shakily as Magicless ran to bring her tea. She gulped three glasses before the shaking and coughing subsided enough for her to talk.
“It was Noz? Did we get the map?”
“Yes. We got it,” Tredon said, holding it out for her to see. “But he said only Magicless could navigate with the damn thing. Doesn’t do us a whole hell of a lot of good.”
Magicless felt something shift inside of him. He got to his feet, shoulders back, head high, and looked Tredon squarely in the eyes. “I am sick and tired of your arrogance and attitude, Tredon. I am as much a part of this as you are. I’ve provided food, carried water, fought beside you, saved your life, and stood by all of you at every moment of this journey. I’ve been fighting as part of a team, unlike you, wandering off doing your own thing without regard for anyone else’s safety. It is high time you grew up.”
Tredon’s eyes widened and his chest swelled in anger. “How dare you say I’ve acted without regard—”
“Please, Tredon, save us your self-righteous babble. You did nothing to help the team when we fought off those bat creatures. You were too absorbed in your own thirst for vengeance to even see anyone else was in trouble. Elisa stepped in. Alekka stepped in. I stepped in. But you...where were you?” Magicless pushed.
“It’s not my problem if you were born un-whole and unable to defend yourself and others!” Tredon shouted.
“And that is exactly my point.” Magicless’ tone got colder and quieter, counteracting Tredon’s increasing volume. “Working as a team means you make it your problem, not shoulder it off onto others. Your attitude is going to get someone killed, not my lack of powers, or Jobin’s inability to use his.”
They drew closer to each other. Magicless didn’t care the man could kill him with a flick of a finger. He was done tiptoeing around him. They’d work this out right now, one way or another.
“Enough.”
Alekka had pulled herself to her feet, exhaustion clearly weighing heavily on her. Her voice was soft and gravelly, but it cut through the room. “We are going to need every one of us if we are going to have even a chance at this. Everyone.” She gestured toward Magicless and Tredon as she began moving toward her room. “Stop your bickering, both of you. Tredon, you need to back off and stop treating him with such disdain. Look around you. Everyone else has. Open your eyes, man. Now, I need sleep.”
She closed the door firmly behind her. Magicless and Tredon glared at one another for another tense moment, and then the group dispersed, all of them going to their beds except for Magicless
. He considered knocking on her door but thought better of it. The first birds were starting to trill their morning song. It had been a long night.
He slept outside of Alekka’s room, his tall form curled in on itself on top a pile of blankets he’d pulled from his bed.
[ 20 ]
It took five days for Alekka to recover, and she slept solidly for two. Magicless hovered nervously by the door, scowling at anyone who even looked like they might want to enter and disturb her rest. On the third day she woke but lacked even the strength to stand. Magicless brought her a steady stream of food and tea. On the fourth day she emerged, still pale and weak but able to move around and provide for herself.
Magicless had not wanted to leave on the fifth day, and the others were willing to wait for her full recovery, much to Magicless’ surprise. As each day had passed he felt increasingly nervous that more conflict with Tredon was brewing—that he would insist it was taking too long and they should leave, leaving Alekka behind. But rather than argue he had tiptoed around Magicless and said nothing about how long they lingered. He seemed withdrawn, even from Ashier and Leali, and thoughtful. Thoughtful. A word Magicless never thought he’d use to describe him.
Alekka, however, insisted they move on. She swore she was strong enough as long as they kept the pace slow. She refused to allow them to stay any longer. They packed their bags that night, ate an enormous dinner, and took to their beds early. They lingered overlong in their beds the next morning, everyone reluctant to leave, not knowing when they might next sleep in such comfort. But time marched relentlessly forward, and soon the group found themselves standing in front of Noz’s cabin with the door closed tightly behind them. Magicless stood slightly apart, staring intently at the map in his hands.
