A Kingdom of Shadow

by Clara Johnson

  These people expected me to exploit him for it.

  “I apologize, but I must get some fresh air. It’s very stuffy in here. It was a pleasure to meet all of you.” With a small curtsy, I left to the balcony outside the ballroom.

  You, Ellyn, have done something neither of us were prepared for.

  That’s what he said. And now I know why. He wasn’t prepared to owe someone a life debt that could mean giving up his kingdom. Had he not told me because he thought I would demand such a thing? My eyes stung as the tears threaten to fall. I let them, knowing I would look like a disaster afterwards. He didn’t have to lie to me. He didn’t have to hide it. I’d never ask something so dreadful from him.

  And he hid the truth about the attack. They were no ordinary wolves.

  Inferniwulves.

  They were part of the Darkness. There was no other explanation. That man in the market was so sure of its return. He may have been blinded by grief, but there was more to it. He believed it, with every inch of his being, he believed it. Maybe it was no ordinary fire that consumed his home, his wife, and child. The man lost everything he held dear to the world. Did he see similar creatures to the inferniwulves? If wolves could be consumed by it, then it was only logical to assume that other animals could be consumed by it as well. What was the Darkness? How did it disappear? And more importantly, why has it returned?

  “Enjoying the party, Ellyn?” a voice said behind me.

  I stood still, not wanting to face him. I knew who it was. The husky, powerful voice was unmistakable.

  “Hello, King Fendrel. I’m surprised to see you here.”

  I quickly wiped away the tears as he stood beside me on the balcony looking over the grassy hills. The moonlight was the only source of light to see it. The plethora of stars above us covered the sky. The night was beautiful.

  “Your face tells me you have had a rough night,” he said.

  I wanted to ignore him, but I knew he wouldn’t drop the subject.

  “You could say that,” I said. “Is there something I can do for you?”

  I wanted to be alone and I wasn’t in the mood to deal with games. Last time I spoke to King Fendrel, he looked at me like he had an agenda or like I was some new conquest. What could he possibly want from me?

  “It would seem that you may need some assistance, Ellyn.” He smirked.

  His body turned towards me.

  I didn’t want or need his help. And even if I did, what would be the cost? What would he want as payment for any assistance he offered me? I was no fool. Nothing comes without a price.

  “I’m fine, Your Majesty,” I huffed. “My troubles are my own. I do not wish to burden you with them.”

  “Even if I could make them go away? You are a strange girl, but one with great pride I see,” he said.

  I said nothing at first. Perhaps I did have some pride, but in this particular situation, I wouldn’t say it was pride that makes me want to refuse a king.

  Finally, I decided to speak. “It doesn’t have anything to do with pride, Your Majesty. I’m not trying to insult you in any way. I just prefer to do things myself. I’ve done it that way for a long time now.”

  He said nothing, but he tilted his head, contemplating me. I didn’t know what he’d expected of me. What was his goal? What did he possibly have to gain by giving me anything? Did it have something to do with the life debt? I decided to take a risk.

  “Do you know of the life debt I have with King Jared, Your Majesty?” I asked.

  He nodded. “I did, and it seems he failed to tell you. I saw what happened. I’m sorry you had to find out in such an embarrassing way. We’re not all like that.”

  “Ellyn,” he said.

  I turned to face him. “There are things that I don’t expect you to understand, nor do I expect you to want to understand them after the way you’ve been treated, but there are reasons why people want to forget the past. The past, as it seems, is something we all want to forget, but there are . . . people who don’t wish to forget. Some things never rest, no matter how deep you bury them.”

  I wasn’t sure what he meant exactly. There are always things people want to forget. Regrets that never seem to stop haunting you. Mistakes that remain on your soul like a scar on your body. We all have made mistakes. We all will make mistakes. You cannot hide from it. You cannot run from it. It is a foundation of human nature, no matter what level you are. No matter who you are.

  I walked to the main doors and stopped. “Why are you here tonight, King Fendrel? Surely, you must have celebrations to attend to yourself,” I said.

  “I just thought I’d fly in to see how you’re faring, my dear. It seems I came at a bad time.” He looked at me.

  “If you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask me. If you find yourself unable to go to Jared, I hope you can be comfortable enough to come to me. I apologize for how I acted towards you when we first met. I was under the impression Jared finally got himself a bride. Clearly, that isn’t true.” He walked in front of me.

  He kissed my hand. “I am a friend in the darkness. I know what it’s like to be alone.”

  His face fell from his usual smirk to a grave one. His eyes darkened under his brows. Regardless of his true intentions, there was something genuine in his voice. I wondered what his story was. Who or what had he lost to cause him such grief in this moment? Despite myself, I pitted him and placed my hand on his cheek, offering him a small smile.

  He put his hand over mine. “You have a good heart, Ellyn. Don’t let anything take that away from you. You see what others fail to see. You see truth where others see the illusion.”

  He bowed. “Goodnight, my dear. I will see you soon.”

  I wished him well and turned to leave, but before I opened the doors, I looked back for a moment to see Fendrel was gone and a single crow sat on the balcony’s edge. It cawed towards me and flew away.

  CHAPTER 15

  I’d avoided Jared for most of the day. I didn’t want to speak to him because I still couldn’t let go of my anger. He thought so little of me to imagine I would abuse the power I had over him. A life debt over a king is something his people may want but not me. I’d proven myself to him that I wasn’t like them. He should’ve trusted me—known better than this. I’d hope he’d want to apologize and while I would accept it, I wasn’t ready.

  I’d have to face him sooner or later. It was just a matter of time before he sent someone to bring me to him. My guess would be he’d do it by this evening. I hoped I was wrong.

  I’d asked Mia to escort me to the palace library, not just to avoid Jared but to spend time with her. She was a friend in my time of need.

  “His Majesty knew nothing about you. You were an unknown. There was no telling what you would’ve done if you found out about the life debt,” she told me, a loyal servant defending her king to her last breath.

  Defending her king to her last breath, a loyal servant to the tee. She understood how I felt. She said she knew what it meant to not be trusted despite constant efforts to prove otherwise.

  She’d told the story of how the life debt had come about. It was said that the Goddess saw two men, one whom was a thief. The thief stole the man’s most prized possession—though what that was varied from story to story—but fell into a river during the escape. Trying to save the thief, the man jumped into the river after him.

  The man hit his head on a rock, fell unconscious and drowned. The thief survived. Realizing he’d lost his prize, he planned to rob another victim. That night, he was confronted by the Goddess herself, demanding that the man repay the debt he owed to the man who sacrificed his life to save him. The thief at first, refused her. The Goddess said that his soul would be forever damned in the afterlife if he did not do as she commanded.

  A life for a life.

  The Goddess decreed then and there that if one sacrifices their life for yours, you are to repay them for as long as they or you liv
e. The man lost his life saving a thief who stole from him. He had a wife with child at the time. The man was dead and could no longer take care of his wife and their unborn child. The thief was to repay his debt by taking his place. The thief worked for the man’s wife and helped raise her child. He lived the rest of his life repaying his debt, giving the woman and her child a new home and a flourishing farmland.

  It was a story that had been with them for a thousand years. It was a part of them. Part of why they refer to themselves as Amarans. Their land might be divided, but as a whole, every man, woman, and child was Amaran. Their laws were strict. And especially strict on the royal families. No one, no matter who could be above the Goddess herself. Every creature was her child and must obey her laws.

  In the past, there were royals who’d thought they were above the Goddess. As a result, their lands suffered had from plagues, chaos, and death. It had taken centuries to fully appease the Goddess and have their flourishing lands once more.

  It was the king’s duty to uphold the Goddess’s laws and abide by them.

  I understood better now why Jared had kept it secret. He’d given my family a home, new clothes, jewelry, and food. He’d given me a chance to say goodbye to my brother and gave him a proper burial of the highest honor. All of this, was to appease the Goddess.

  If I’d been as bad of a person as he feared, I could’ve destroyed everything he built: his lands and treaty. I could’ve started another war and damned all Armea with my actions. He was right to be cautious, I’d just wished he trusted me more.

  The more I thought of it, the more I felt that I would’ve done the same. I may not be able to return home, but Jared did give me his. He gave my brother a proper burial. My mother and I were safe. It was all that matters to me.

  I could’ve only hoped that I’d proven myself to home and that I wasn’t going to abuse his true. If he didn’t know, I would tell him. I will tell him.

  “Don’t worry,” Mia said. “Things will work out soon.”

  “I’m going to make sure of it.”

  Her mischievous smile told me she had her own ideas of how I plan to do that. I shook my head, deciding not to argue with her.

  A symbol of a quill writing a curved line was embedded in the door to the library.

  “The symbol of the royal scholar,” Mia explained. She led me into the room where books were piled in towers taller than myself by at least a foot. Most of the books were neatly lined on bookshelves. Papers were scattered over the tables along with quills and ink bottles.

  “Elliot?” Mia called out. There was a mumbling, rustling—paper sound on the far end of the library. It came from a private office. “He likes to keep to himself, but he’s a nice man.” Her cheeks flushed.

  “Handsome too,” she added as a smile spread across her face.

  “Yes, yes, what is it? What do you want?” Elliot emerged with an overflow of rolled paper in his arms. Black ink stained his hands. His shoulder length brown hair had silver streaks near his ears and looked like it hand’s been washed in at least a week. The smell of him told me he hadn’t bathed for a while either.

  “Oh, Mia it’s you. I apologize I didn’t know you were coming.” He rushed to a nearby table and plopped the papers on it. Quickly, wiped his hands on his vest as if he could’ve make the stains vanish.

  “And who is this? Are you Ellyn Cromwell? The guest His Majesty brought here a week ago? Or was it two?” He stared at something on the floor.

  “I’m Ellyn. Pleased to meet you, Elliot,” I greeted, offering my hand.

  Elliot looked at it as if it had ten more fingers. He clenched and unclenched his fingers.

  Not a hand shaker. Got it.

  I let my hand fall to my side. I understood now why Mia said he kept to himself. Social events must’ve been a terror for him. I would need to tread carefully around him.

  There was a meow at my feet, and when I looked down, a tiny black was rubbing against my legs. I picked the cat up and it purred as I rubbed its belly. Its teeth grazing my fingers as its feet kicked against my hand playfully.

  “That is my cat. Selena the Mouse Killer, Tosser of Ink Bottles, Destroyer of Manuscripts.”

  I had to hold back a laugh. What a dignified name for a pretty feline. I handed the cat to Elliot who muttered sweet nothings to her. She meowed as if she understood him.

  Elliot looked at us after a moment then flushed as if he had forgotten we were still here. He cleared his throat and put the cat in his jacket. He must’ve had an inside pocket he added to the vest for her. His little Mice Killer reminded me of a cat I owned when I was a child. I named her Prissy, when I saved her from the cold and nursed her back to health. She was my companion for many years. It broke my heart when she passed away from old age.

  “Is there something I can do for you both today?” he said from behind the desk.

  Mia said nothing, looking at me.

  “Actually, do you have any books on history? Specifically, the history during the war?”

  Elliot disappeared from my view and then came back momentarily with a handful of books. The first book, as he said, was a decade before the war, the second was bits and pieces of the war and the third was after the war, the more recent history. The final book was a copy of a general’s field notes during the last war.

  Three of the books were thick, but the fourth was the smallest, making it only an inch at its spine. It was brown with a latch on its side. I put down the other three books and flipped through its pages. The handwriting was neat and legible. Definitely, not the handwriting of a war general.

  “You said this was a copy of field notes?”

  “Indeed. The original is in rough shape. I have been slowly restoring what I could but the paper is fragile. This was a copy I wrote myself,” he explained.

  “You make copies? How many have you done?”

  “In the last year, twenty. Many of these older books must be translated from Eyian, the Old Tongue. Very few know how to read it, much less speak it. Only myself and the priests are the most familiar with it.”

  Translating twenty books in one year alone seemed a substantial task. Elliot must’ve been an expert in the language to complete it. And the priests he mentioned, they must’ve been the ones at my brother’s funeral. They said . . . something in a language I didn’t recognize. What was it they said?

  Enrithe, sones mie herman.

  I asked Elliot what it meant. My pronunciation was obviously terrible because he looked annoyed, but he translated it as “Rest, my brave son.” It was a prayer to the Goddess who saw to all of her children. Each a soldier in her army. They blessed my brother’s body to be united with the Goddess in her paradise. I wasn’t how to respond.

  “Do you need anything else?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “No, just these for now.”

  I grabbed the books to leave with Mia. She and Elliot exchanged glances as Mia fluttered her eyebrows. I looked away to give them privacy, but I could overhear their conversation.

  “Make me dinner one night?”

  “I . . . I suppose I could.”

  “You’re so sweet. Thank you.”

  Somehow, I didn’t think Mia and Elliot are supposed to have dinner together, yet I didn’t see a reason they couldn’t. Perhaps Elliot is unable to fraternize with women and in doing so would cause trouble for him. I’d keep their secret safe, even if they didn’t ask me to.

  Elliot seemed to be a good man. Unlike Leo, he didn’t try and hide who he was. He’d hurt me and I had no other choice then to defend myself. But, just because he was a monster, didn’t mean all men were. In my short time here, I’d met several good men: Jared, Jonas and Fendrel. Each of them welcomed me here in Elra. It . . . was more than I could’ve expected.

  “Are you alright Ellyn? asked Mia.

  “Yes. I’m alright.”

  ~ * ~

  Jonas swung his practice sword against my side, twice as fast a
s he usually did. I managed to block it, barely. He wanted to push my lessons further, harder each day. Normally, I would’ve welcomed the new challenge, but not today. I already had several bruises on my arms and legs. Some would grow into welts.

  “Let’s stop for now.” He had water brought to us and I downed the entire canteen then tried to catch my breath. It was becoming increasingly harder with each inhale. Somehow, I was feeling weaker by the day. It was probably just the new environment. It was warm here, but not overbearingly hot. Although, anything was a blessing compared to the frost-bitten cold of home, I’d lived in a broken, moldy cottage, so perhaps my body was trying to rid itself of disease in the walls.

  Jonas was the first to speak. “You seem out of focus today, Ellyn. You usually have me dancing on my toes and exhausted by the time we’re done.” He took our practice swords and gave them to a servant.

  “I just haven’t been feeling well is all,” I said. He looked unconvinced.

  “It’s more than that I think, my lady. Tell me what’s troubling you.” He crossed his arms, leaning back into the seat.

  What was I to tell him? Oh, just that His Majesty failed to tell me about the life debt and I wanted to punch him in the face for lying to me. Also, I really was feeling sick. Perhaps I should lie down and not get out of bed for a week.

  “Just a lot on my mind. Everything here is so . . . different than what I am used to. I feel out of place like a fish in a new pond with much bigger fish than myself.”

  “In that case, I’ll be the fisherman to catch those bigger fish and fry them up on a stick.” He laughed.

  A smile curled on my lips.

  “There she is,” he purred.

  My smile dropped and heat filled my cheeks. I shifted on the bench. Why did he always look at me like that? His smile could make any woman fall to his charms. He was handsome, no doubt, but was I ready for it? After last time . . . would I ever be ready?