He hotfooted it to the student union building and found it almost deserted, except for several students busy at a table making posters protesting the draft. He wandered around for a while checking all the outside areas where he’d seen students congregate hoping to find her. After one last try at the dorm thinking she might have just gone out for coffee or a snack with her roommate, he gave up and drove dejectedly back to his apartment.
Erma’s party was still in full swing and he sat in his truck with the motor running, laughter and conversation pouring through the open living-room windows. It would be too depressing to stay up in his apartment listening to people having fun, and he was in no mood to join in.
He put the truck into gear and drove back to the dorm. He’d just stake the place out until Kim returned, if she returned—another glum thought. As he parked and walked across the lane a figure stepped out of the shadow of a nearby tree.
“Well, you sure took your time finding me,” Kim said as she threw her arms around him. “Where have you been?”
“Looking for you.” She smelled and felt delicious. He kissed her and kissed her again.
“Take me away from here. Show me your apartment. I’m dying to see it.”
“When do you have to be back?”
“Midnight, but I’ve got a ground-floor room on the side of the building and a roommate who’ll let me in through the window if I’m late.”
“Let’s go.” Kevin pulled her by the hand to his truck.
She snuggled close on the ride to Erma’s, where the party still continued in full force.
“Wow,” Kim said as he led her up the stairs to the apartment. “This place is amazing. What a wonderful house. When am I going to see all of it?”
“Someday soon,” he promised. “But first I’d like to show you my bedroom.”
“What kind of girl do you think I am?”
“The best kind,” Kevin said as he opened the door. “Smart, sexy, and sassy.”
Kim stopped and scanned his face. “I think I really like you.”
“I like you better,” Kevin teased, pulling her along to the bedroom.
***
Kevin started college unsure of what exactly he wanted to do with his life. He loved ranching and could probably make a place for himself someday as Dale’s partner at the Rocking J as well as take over the 7-Bar-K horse business from his dad when the time came, but it just didn’t feel right. Even though the Rocking J was close to his roots, it just wasn’t the same as the place of his ancestors. It had been founded by a Jennings, not a Kerney, and in that regard, he’d always feel junior to Dale and his family no matter how equal the partnership might be.
If he did decide to major in animal husbandry or range science, would he be able to someday have a ranch of his own? Or would he forever be the one who lived in the old foreman’s cottage, no matter how nice it was? If he ranched, he wanted his very own place to start a family like his mom and dad had once had.
He remembered visiting Raymond Cannon’s Willow Creek Ranch for the first time, where his dad jokingly advised him to become a rich lawyer first if he ever wanted to ranch. With land prices rising year after year there seemed a hard truth to that advice.
***
To put off deciding on a major, he stuck to the basics: freshman composition, math, European history, and Spanish, along with ROTC. It was a full load but manageable, and he got through midterms with a very creditable grade point average that was high enough to make the dean’s list if it held. He’d adapted easily to college and prized the freedom it gave him. And although he wouldn’t admit to feeling smug about it, his love life was also about as good as it could be.
On campus, there was a growing student protest movement against the war, with caravans of antiwar demonstrators traveling to Washington to join mass rallies demanding an end to the conflict. Not wanting to get involved because of his ROTC commitment, Kevin sidestepped the evening peace vigils and teach-ins. On those days when he wore his uniform, he was sometimes ridiculed and challenged as a war lover by some of the more strident peace advocates who wanted to argue with him. But he held his temper and moved on. Kim had made it clear she was against the war, but unlike Jeannie she didn’t get on his case about being in ROTC, and he adored her for that.
Early in the semester he’d introduced Kim to Erma, and they’d hit it off immediately. Being with both of them during their first meeting made him realize Kim shared a lot of Erma’s traits, especially her quick wit, smarts, and sexiness. On occasional weekends, Kim would sign out of the dorm on a Friday, ostensibly to go home for the weekend, and instead stay with Kevin. It didn’t seem to bother Erma one bit, and he was absolutely certain she hadn’t said a word about it to his folks.
Erma had a lover, Lewis Owens, whom Kevin had met briefly several times in passing. Sometimes his car was in the driveway overnight, but often he’d come and go in a matter of a few hours. Kevin figured him to either be married or traveling for work a lot. Kim thought it was likely Erma’s lover was married, which made her the absolute coolest, most liberated woman she knew.
School, Kim, and Erma’s handyman projects often filled his days and nights. A week might go by without Erma needing something done and then she’d have a flurry of projects for him, from installing new shades for the living-room windows to hauling and stacking a cord of firewood she’d bought for the fireplace.
He didn’t get home until Thanksgiving, and then just for the few days he could spare with class assignments coming due and term papers to write. He’d only gotten one brief letter from Dale soon after his enlistment and he asked his folks how he was doing. Al said Dale would be home for Christmas before shipping out to his permanent duty station in Okinawa. He’d been promoted once and would have to wait a year to earn another stripe.
Looking forward to seeing him, Kevin wrote him a quick congratulatory note before he returned to Las Cruces. In some ways he was a little jealous, in some ways not. The fighting in Vietnam had escalated, with more American soldiers being sent there and a lot more coming home wounded or in body bags. Television news aired scenes of firefights, bombing runs, and civilian battlefield causalities. War correspondents were reporting increasing rumors of atrocities by South Vietnamese and US troops. On campus about the least cool thing you could do was wear an ROTC uniform.
In Las Cruces, another party was raging at Erma’s, and an invitation to drop in was tacked to Kevin’s apartment door. It was mostly the same mixture of faculty, staff, and grad students from the university, along with a smattering of Erma’s artist friends. He was nibbling on the leftover appetizers in the kitchen when Sue Ann Bussey approached.
He’d met her twice more at Erma’s and learned that she was twenty-one, had a degree in theater, and was in her first year of graduate school.
“There you are,” she said liltingly.
Kevin blushed. It was automatic whenever he saw her. Along with the strawberry-blond hair, the creamy complexion, and magnetic personality, there was a supple roundness to her almost-perfect figure that invited fantasies.
Sue Ann stepped closer. “Erma tells me you have a very cute girlfriend,” she whispered conspiratorially. “Is she here? I’d love to meet her.”
Kevin took in her scent. “No, she’s probably just getting back to town from Deming.”
“I’m sure I’ll meet her another time.” She touched his arm. “You’re a lucky boy to have your very own apartment. Do you know that?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“Sure.”
“You’re too good-looking to be so shy. I’d love to see your apartment sometime. Or maybe you’d like to see mine.” She made her exit from the kitchen with a flip of her hair and a coy look over her shoulder.
Although he wanted to, Kevin didn’t take her seriously, partly because he had a gal he really, really l
iked. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t aroused.
***
Kim’s dorm roommate, Liz Hearn, was dating a basketball player, and when the season heated up in the second semester, they often went together to the home games. Kevin tagged along once and felt decidedly out of place sitting with all the players’ girlfriends who staked out a row of cheap seats high above the home-team bench behind the courtside reserved seating for season ticket holders.
That semester Kim also joined the rodeo team. She’d been recruited earlier to join but had declined. She’d sold her pony because her mom couldn’t afford to keep it and help pay for Kim’s college expenses on a telephone company supervisor’s salary. When the team manager found out, he arranged for a booster to cover the cost of a good pony and its upkeep for Kim to use. She was in heaven and encouraged Kevin to join the team as well, but he was short on time and didn’t want to put any additional financial burden on his folks.
With team practices and meetings, hanging out with her roommate, and all the ongoing class work she normally had, Kevin saw much less of Kim as the semester wore on. His own busy schedule was much the same, so it was just the way things had to be. Yet when they were together it was still great, whether they were just walking and talking, taking in a rare movie downtown, having coffee at the SUB between classes, or fooling around at the apartment.
By the tail end of the second semester, Kim was ready to compete in a rodeo to be held on campus. Besides barrel racing, she entered the breakaway calf-roping event and had been practicing daily during every spare moment she had. It was a two-day rodeo held on the weekend just before finals week, and Kevin wasn’t about to miss it.
Understandably, he hadn’t seen her for two weeks. He’d left frequent messages for her at the dorm but heard from her only once when she called and made a quick apology for being so busy. The practices were grueling and she wasn’t getting much sleep. Of course he commiserated. He knew what it took mentally and physically to prepare for the events.
His first final was in European history on Monday morning and he’d planned to attend only Kim’s events, but the temptation to watch all the competitions was too great. After sneaking behind the chutes to wish Kim good luck, he joined the crowd in the stands and got caught up in the action. Kim took the lead in the first barrel-racing go-round but had only a fair time in the breakaway event, which wasn’t bad for her first competitive crack at the event.
Kevin had competed against a number of contestants in the rodeo, many of whom were students at the university. He watched them with great interest, impressed with how much they’d improved. He began to miss being down there with them and being part of a sport where a rider and his pony had to act as one in order to win. When it neared perfection it was a sight to see.
He mulled over what might have been. Maybe he should have delayed college for a year and gone rodeoing on his own instead. It wasn’t too late; he could finish out the year, drop out for a time, and see what he could do on the circuit. Maybe he could convince Kim to leave school and join him. The only problem with both ideas was money.
He put away his foolish notions. He’d made commitments to his parents, to the army to finish the ROTC program, and he sure didn’t want to step too far away from Kim. He quit daydreaming just in time to watch his old nemesis, Todd Marks, in the saddle-bronc event. It was such an outstanding performance, it had Kevin on his feet and applauding before the announcer even gave the score.
The end of the rodeo on Sunday saw Kim with a first in barrel racing and a fifth in breakaway, which was darn good, and a first place for the team. As the crowd thinned out after the closing ceremonies, Kevin jumped the fence and went looking for her. She was with her teammates behind the roping chute celebrating their victory. He hung back, waited until she saw him, and then stepped over to congratulate her.
“Hooray for you,” he said, giving her a hug. She barely hugged him back. “You did great.”
“Thanks.”
“Let’s go get a bite. I’ll wait until you’re ready to leave.”
Kim made a face and looked over at her teammates. “We’re all going out together.”
Kevin nodded. “Sure, have fun, you all deserve it. Call me when you’re ready to leave and I’ll come and fetch you.”
Kim shook her head. “No, I can’t. I’m seeing Todd now, Kevin.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Sorry. Don’t be mad.”
“Oh” was all Kevin could muster as she walked away.
***
Kevin finished finals week miserable, hurt, and angry. Although he’d prepared well for his exams up to the minute Kim dumped him, he didn’t give a hoot about how he did. To cope, he simply shut down. He’d go home and forget about her over the summer, guaranteed.
He got his grades two days before the end of the semester. The next day he’d be leaving for the summer, along with thousands of other students. He’d made the dean’s list again, proving a broken heart hadn’t made him stupid. He was packing to return to the ranch in the morning when Erma knocked at the door.
“Can I come in?” she asked.
“Sure.”
It had been a while since Erma had visited and she took a quick look around. The front room was separated from the small kitchen by a partial wall with a built-in bookcase. It contained a desk, a chair, a small sofa, and a gently worn leather easy chair that faced a small black-and-white television sitting on a side table. On the wall over the sofa was a Johnny Cash concert poster. The room was clean and tidy. Knowing Kevin, Erma expected as much.
She settled on the sofa. “I haven’t seen much of you lately.”
“You haven’t needed me to do anything.”
“That’s true.” Earlier, she’d impulsively called Kim at the dorm to invite her to lunch before they both left for home and had learned about the breakup. She patted the empty cushion. “Come and sit.”
Kevin eased down beside her. “What’s up?”
“I spoke to Kim.”
He jumped to his feet. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I do. I’ve come to give you some advice. It’s not something I do often, so you’d better listen.”
Kevin sank stiffly into the easy chair and stared at her. “What advice?”
“Don’t be angry at Kim.”
“Why not?”
“Because she was good for you and she was just what you needed. Everything I saw between the two of you was honest, loving, and caring. I’m betting you were faithful to each other right up to the end. It doesn’t get much better than that.”
“Faithful?” Kevin snapped. “What about you and your married lover?”
Erma broke into a laugh. “Is that what you think? Lewis is single and has a very sensitive government job that requires him to travel a lot. Sometimes I wish he was married, then I could see him more frequently.”
“That’s weird.”
Erma rose. “Thank you for the compliment. You have two choices, Kevin. You can turn Kim into a cold-hearted bitch, or you can treasure her memory as your first true love. What you decide may well determine what kind of man you’ll become. Don’t screw it up.”
She stepped over, kissed him on the cheek, and said, “Give my love to your parents.”
“I will.”
Erma left and for a long time Kevin sat silently considering her advice. He finally decided if he was going to be continually drawn to women with minds of their own, he’d best be prepared for the consequences.
37
Kevin prepared for his return to school pleased to no longer be a freshman and impatient to get back to living on his own. The summer had passed quickly; work with the ponies had kept him plenty busy. In some ways it had been a pleasure to step away from book learning and use his head and hands in the everyday ranch chores, helping his father with the challenges of turning frisky young horses into savvy cow ponies. He alwa
ys learned something new working with his dad that was often far more satisfying than the large, somewhat boring classroom lectures he had to endure at college.
In the cool of the evenings he frequently joined his folks on the screened-in porch, where they talked mostly about their plans to expand the horse-breeding and training operation. His dad wanted to build a foaling barn to house mares with difficult pregnancies. Each baby they lost meant lost income, and if a brood mare died while foaling, the expense was considerable.
With profits being plowed back into the business, the gamble had yet to put them squarely in the black. However, they were no longer dipping into their dwindling cash reserves to pay the bills. From the look of his dad’s patched jeans and his mom’s faded blouses, Kevin could see they weren’t indulging in any extras or spending money on themselves. And while both seemed fit and healthy, they looked a bit more worn down come the end of the day. Still, that didn’t diminish their optimism about the future, or the joy of what they were doing.
For Kevin it had been a good summer. Being home with his parents, visiting with Al and Brenda, and catching up with some of his old high school acquaintances was the tonic he needed to get over Kim Ward. He even took Betsy Reed to a couple of Saturday-night movies, bought Jeannie Hollister a Coke when he ran into her at the drugstore, and went to Dale’s old girlfriend’s wedding in T or C. Part of him felt detached from it all as if he were a stranger visiting his old hometown.
Before he left for Las Cruces, his dad walked him to his truck and pressed fifty dollars into his hand. He refused to take it back.
“Unexpected things come up,” he explained. “Besides, I know your ROTC stipend only covers the bare bones.”
“Erma feeds me a lot,” Kevin protested.
“You take it,” Matt demanded. “And as a favor to me, call your mother once in a while. Reverse the charges. She misses you.”
He turned to see his mom standing on the porch brushing a tear from her cheek and merrily waving at the same time. “I promise.”
The Last Ranch Page 40
