Lola laughed, shaking her head. “Well, we’re not really supposed to talk about it, but you’re impossible to shut up.”
Vero set the pitcher on the bar and turned to face Lola. “This sounds real kinky. Lay it on me.”
“No, it’s not that.” Lola lowered her voice. “Johnny and I are buying Hey Joe.” Lola grinned at Vero’s expression. She wasn’t sure she’d ever seen Vero’s mouth open with nothing coming out.
“Are you messing with me?” Veronica asked.
“Nope. We’re doing it. Soon it’ll be ours.”
Vero slapped the bar with one hand. “Holy shit, girl—are you kidding me?”
“Not messing, not kidding. You happy?”
“Happy? Haven’t been this excited since nasty cousin Herb fell face first into a pile of mud at the family reunion. This is cause for celebration.”
Lola smiled harder. “Thanks, V.”
“How’d you pull it off? This got something to do with that cousin of yours who died?”
“Great uncle,” Lola corrected.
“Uncle? I could’ve sworn Johnny said…” She narrowed her eyes. A couple seconds passed. Lola’s hands went clammy as Vero’s expression morphed and she tilted her head back, shaking it. “No. Something’s off here.”
“Nothing is off. Seriously.”
“Lola. Oh, fuck. What did you do?”
“Nothing—”
“You slept with that man.” She tiptoed closer. “You slept with…? Oh, honey, I wasn’t serious when I said—I didn’t think you’d go through with it.”
The room was too hot. Vero was too close. Lola hopelessly fanned herself with her hand. She’d never been a good liar. “It-it’s complicated. Even if I thought I could explain, it wouldn’t make any sense.”
Vero looked across the room. “Johnny let you do this?”
“He didn’t ‘let’ me do anything,” Lola said. “We made a decision. Together.”
“Hell, no.” She shook her head like her mass of frizzy curls was on fire. “No, no, no. My man ever asked me to have sex with someone else, he’d see the business end of my fist before he got the words out. Don’t matter how much money’s involved.”
“Vero,” Lola said. “There’s so much more to the situation than you think. Just let it be.”
“Let it be? I can’t. This is not cool.”
“Johnny and I have been through hell these past few weeks,” Lola said. “There’s no way you could understand.”
“What I understand is that you just took a very wrong turn down a dangerous path.”
“Veronica,” Lola said, shocked. “You’re judging me? Have I ever once judged your choices? Didn’t I support your decision to stay with Freddy after the way he treated you? Didn’t Johnny and I take you in for weeks when you finally cut him loose?”
“That’s different. That was between me and Freddy. But this isn’t between you and Johnny because you brought a third person into your relationship, and now he’ll never go away. Promise you that.”
Lola frowned. It wasn’t that Vero was necessarily wrong, but Lola couldn’t handle her on top of Johnny on top of Hey Joe. She didn’t need anyone to tell her what they’d done was wrong.
“What I need right now is a friend, Vero,” Lola said.
Vero abruptly reached out and hugged Lola. Hard. It took Lola a moment to reciprocate. “You and I go back,” Vero said softly. “When you came here, I thought you were just another chick. But knowing you has changed my life. You need me, I’m here.”
“You’re the one who changed mine,” Lola said. “You and Johnny straightened me out.”
Vero drew back a little to look Lola in the face. “Because it didn’t take me long to see that you’re better than this shit. And now I hear this.” She shook her head sadly. “It’s Johnny I’m pissed at, babe. Not you. But I’ll keep it to myself because you asked me to. I’m just sorry you felt the need to do it. I-I hope it was, you know, worth it.”
“It will be when we all get Hey Joe back to what it should be.”
“If anyone can, it’s you two. You’ll survive this. Strong as an ox, girl.”
Was she? Was Lola strong enough? She wasn’t so sure. Now that they’d decided not to take Beau’s offer, the weight of reality was growing heavier. Every hour she was in the bar, she thought of how soon it would all be theirs. It was more responsibility than she’d ever had in her life.
Vero finally let go of her. “What was it like?”
“With Beau?” Lola bit her bottom lip. “Like a wild dream stuck on fast forward. I think I went to another world for a few hours—like it wasn’t even real.”
Vero looked around the bar and held her palms face up toward the ceiling. “And now you guys get everything you wanted.”
“Mostly,” Lola said. “Turns out running a bar’s expensive.”
“I could’ve told you that. But we’ll make this work. Even if I got to show up on time, I’m with you guys.”
Lola half smiled. “Thanks. Means a lot.”
Vero was suddenly even closer. “So, all right. We know it was fucked up, but sometimes that’s the best kind. I bet that tall drink of water stripped off his designer suit to reveal all kinds of kinky. Tell me about the sex.”
Lola blushed furiously, waving her off with a rag. “Stop it.”
“That good?” Vero’s eyes got big. “You enjoyed it?”
“Quiet,” Lola said. “That’s the last thing Johnny needs to hear.”
“So you did,” she stated as if that proved anything.
Lola looked at her hands. It hadn’t been kinky to Lola. It’d been more natural, just—right. He’d done new things to her, like commanding her to her hands and knees, and she’d liked them. He’d done normal things and made them worthy of fireworks. The sixteenth floor of the Four Seasons was a private space for her to be completely herself and to experience Beau without guilt. “It was different,” she said carefully. “Completely and utterly different than anything I’ve ever experienced.” Lola looked up. “Just different.”
“Lola. It’s sex. It’s okay if you enjoyed it. That’s kind of what’s supposed to happen.”
“Let me put it this way. He’s everything you’d think by looking at him and more.”
“More?”
Lola thought immediately of his cock, how large it’d been in her hand, how it’d dominated her mouth. It wasn’t what she’d meant, but she had a feeling Vero was thinking the same thing. “More. Sometimes it was like he knew me better than I knew myself. Like he’d memorized a map beforehand or something. And not just of my body. It—I can’t really put it into words.”
“I can. Basically he fucked your brains out.”
Lola was done blushing. This time she tutted at Vero, but she said, “Right out of my head.”
“Damn.” Vero shrugged. “That’s all I got, just—damn. He must’ve been something else.”
“He was. Just don’t mention any of this to Johnny.”
“How’s he taking it?”
“I’m not sure.” Lola glanced over at her boyfriend. He was laughing with a table of customers she didn’t recognize. He always made people feel at home. “He’s been pretty quiet about it. I’m just glad he’s getting all this.”
“He’ll do great, the bastard,” Vero said. “Give it some time, though. Guess that’s all you can do now. Don’t overthink things.”
Don’t overthink things. Lola had tried to erase Beau’s text message and his number. Each time, she hesitated until the screen went black. His number within reach—that felt like thinking about him. Like he was right there. Once she erased it, he would be gone. Officially.
When the bar was at its busiest a few hours later, Lola snuck out back for a cigarette. She’d assumed no one would notice, but Johnny opened the door a minute later. He looked around until he spotted her leaning against the building’s brick wall.
“You all right?” he asked, coming over. “Been a while since you had one of those.”
>
She nodded. “Are you?”
“I’m fine.”
She offered him the cigarette, and he took a drag. “I’ve missed that,” he said with his exhale.
“Tell me about it.”
“Look at us,” he said. “We’re buying a business. We quit smoking. We’re adults.”
“When did that happen?”
“Fuck if I know. We had fun, though. Think we’re still fun?”
“Fun adults? I think the two are mutually exclusive.”
He smiled. “Yeah. Last week I told Tom if he opened the bar late one more time, I’d beat his ass. I’m my dad.”
Lola laughed. “You even sound like him when you say it.”
Johnny put the cigarette to his lips. He had that far off look in his eyes she’d been seeing too much of lately.
“What’s going on, Johnny?” she asked. “Are you pissed at me?”
He looked down at her. “Pissed?”
“You’re distant. You’ve barely talked to me all night.”
“You were right the other day. I have to get serious about the bar now. I can’t be screwing around anymore.”
“That’s not what I meant. This is a lot of work, but it’s supposed to be fun too. This is a dream come true.”
“Yeah. Just need a little time to get adjusted.”
“You left home without me today,” Lola said. “I had to hitch a ride with Vero.”
“I had a meeting with Mitch.”
Lola felt as if she’d been slapped. It had never once occurred to her that either of them would need to meet with Mitch alone. She leaned toward him. “You don’t think maybe I ought to be there for that?”
“That’s what you want, babe, sure. I thought I was supposed to handle the business stuff.”
She proceeded with caution for both their sakes. Johnny’s voice had an edge to it that she’d heard during their arguments, usually when he was too frustrated to remain rational. “I want this to be your baby,” Lola said. “It’s your dream. But I’m part of this too—a big part. You’re in charge, but that doesn’t mean I’m not at all in charge. I’m here to make decisions and to support you however I can.”
He laughed just under his breath. “However you can. I’d say so.”
“You know what? I don’t like this snarky side of you.” She’d probably said things she shouldn’t have at some point too, but it wasn’t in either of their natures to be deliberately mean.
He shrugged and looked up at the sky.
“Are you mad because I won’t do it again?” she asked. “Or because I would?”
“Well, which is it?” he asked, his head still tilted back.
“Whatever you want it to be,” Lola said.
“I just want the truth.”
“And that’s all I’ve ever wanted from you.”
“All right, so give it to me straight.” He glanced back down at her. “You want to or you don’t? Did you enjoy yourself?”
“We agreed not to get into details.”
“Jesus Christ.” He laughed in disbelief. “No wonder you don’t want me asking questions. You did enjoy it.”
“Would you prefer I hated it? On my back, silently crying, pleading at the ceiling for it to be over?” She turned her face away as her cheeks got hot. It was almost as if he’d heard her conversation with Vero, but he’d been across the room.
The cigarette burned down in his hand, and he didn’t respond.
She knew the answer to her own question. Things could’ve gone much worse with Beau, and she was grateful they hadn’t. She’d do a lot for Johnny, but she wasn’t going to wish it’d been terrible for her just so he would feel better. “I’d do it again,” she said. “If you thought it was for the best.”
“For the best,” Johnny murmured. “The best being money.”
“The best being our future.”
“But here’s the clincher, folks,” he said. “The kind of future they want costs money.”
“If you feel that strongly, just tell me not to do it.”
“Thought we already decided you wouldn’t.” He tossed the cigarette on the ground and stamped it out. “You want to do it, then do it. Don’t try to make it look like I’m asking you for it. You did it once, so it’s not even like it’s that big of a deal.”
Lola set her jaw. “How can you say that?”
He walked away. “You got his number,” he said, pulling open the backdoor. “You don’t need me to make the arrangements.”
Lola stared after him. She had the strange but satisfying sense that she’d gotten away with something. Like she’d get as a young girl when her mom would occasionally let her pick one thing from the candy aisle. But it was more than that. Johnny wouldn’t make a firm decision, so she had to, and if he came to regret the outcome, he’d only have himself to blame for not speaking up. She was free to make the mistake that—she was slowly figuring out—she wanted to make.
She hadn’t stopped thinking about the way Beau had owned her, as if it were a craving she couldn’t kick. Beau’s unwavering attention—the only kind he knew—could easily become addicting.
She took out another cigarette to calm herself—her hand shook as she lit it. Money? What money? It was becoming less important the greater her need grew. Not just any kind of need, but the kind Beau incited in her, that built and built to an unbearable level. The kind only he could fulfill. She was feeling that way more and more lately, whenever she thought of him like she did now.
And now she’d get her fix again. The decision was made for her. Johnny had cemented it when he’d walked away. She took her cell from her pocket and pulled up Beau’s phone number.
“Lola, ma chatte,” Beau answered. His voice was low and raw.
“You were sleeping,” she said.
“It’s one in the morning.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he said. “Unless this is a dream. Then you should be very sorry.”
She smiled. Except for a yellow streetlamp nearby, it was dark. They were alone.
“How are you?” he asked.
She blew out a breath and flicked ash from her cigarette. “I’m okay.”
“Most women who call me in the middle of the night are not okay.”
“I don’t want to be most women,” Lola said quietly.
“You aren’t. Not to me.”
She closed her eyes. “I wish you wouldn’t say things like that.”
“So this call isn’t personal, then. That would make it business.”
Lola waited. Her mind was even more made up hearing his voice, but she couldn’t sound too eager. Just like Johnny, Beau had to know with certainty that money anchored their arrangement. That there were boundaries. “What are the terms of your new offer?”
After rustling on the other end and a short silence, he said, “The same. Including the test if you’ve slept with Johnny again.”
“Why would that matter?”
“If you’ve had a partner after the test, then it matters.”
There was that sterile word again—partner. “Beau, he’s my boyfriend.”
“You weren’t with him the night you were with me. Who knows how he kept himself occupied?”
She stared daggers at the backdoor. She knew Johnny better than she knew anyone, and he wasn’t a cheater. “Johnny would never. You don’t know him.”
“I don’t have to. I know people. Resentment is ugly. It makes people do ugly things.”
She shook her head. “He wouldn’t.”
“So have you slept with Johnny since you and I spent the night together?”
She took a drag of her cigarette. She imagined Beau sitting forward in his bed, the sheet around his lap. The corner of his hungry mouth twitching as he waited. His mouth was so goddamn hungry when it was on her. “No. Have you?”
“He’s not my type.”
“Be serious. You know what I mean.”
“I haven’t seen anyone. The impression you left is…un
shakeable.”
“How romantic,” she said dryly to hide the fact that she wanted it to be true.
“You asked me to be serious. I am. Housekeeping has replaced the sheets but I smell your perfume here. It’s impossible, I know.” His voice dropped even lower. “The window is still smudged from your tits.”
Her pulse stuttered. From the start, he’d been catching her off guard, startling her with his brashness. She bit her lip, knowing any noise she made would come out sounding like a moan. “I—I don’t wear perfume.”
He chuckled. “So, Lola. Do we have a deal?”
“Five hundred the night before. Five hundred the next morning.”
“Sunset to sunrise.”
“When?” she asked.
“If I hadn’t already lost the hours, I’d say right now. God knows I want you here. Can it be tomorrow?”
“It’s a weekday.”
“But you work nights,” he said. “You can sleep the next day.”
“I meant for you.”
“Don’t worry about me. My impatience reaches disconcerting levels where you’re involved.”
“I’m flattered. I think.” She hesitated, not ready to get off the phone. Talking to him was smoothing out the rollercoaster week she’d had, a temporary cure for her distress. “Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow,” he repeated.
She hung up before she said something she shouldn’t—like “I can’t wait” or “I look forward to having you inside me again.” The stab of guilt in her gut was drowned by the quick beats of her heart. Vero and Johnny were both right. Lola liked this. She enjoyed it. Not only that—she fucking wanted it.
Chapter 19
Lola couldn’t come up with the words to tell him. She and Johnny had been driving home from the bar for ten minutes, but she’d been pretending to sleep with her head back against the passenger seat headrest. In fact, she’d been awake, searching for those impossible words to say she’d promised herself to another man tomorrow night. It was hard enough without wondering if Johnny would be relieved or angry. Was she relieved? Was she angry? Johnny wasn’t acting like the man she knew he was. It made her wonder if he’d ever been, or if it was possible she’d built him up to something else over the years.
Don't Break This Kiss (Top Shelf Romance Book 5) Page 21
