“Okay, Miss Brady, we have news.”
Arden sat up, her heart beating fast in her chest.
“Yes?”
“First, you’re not pregnant,” her OB/GYN said quickly, and Arden let out a relieved breath.
“Thank God. I mean, not that babies aren’t great and everything, but we aren’t ready, I’m not ready. And with everything else going on…”
“Yeah. We’re going to come back to that in a moment. But I’m going to let you know that we’re going to admit you. Not here, but on the other side of the hospital.”
“Excuse me?” Arden asked, putting her hands over her stomach.
“I thought you said I wasn’t pregnant. Is it just a bug?”
“No, it looks like you might have pancreatitis. You’re going to be fine. But we’re going to give you some IV antibiotics just in case, and do some more tests that I can’t do here. Okay? But you definitely need some meds, and intravenous is the way to go, especially with your medical history and the amount of pain you’re in. I’m not your doctor for your lupus, but I’m sure you know that pancreatitis is a symptom.”
“I get it. My body’s attacking my organs.” She swallowed hard and quickly wiped the tears from her face. She hadn’t even realized she was crying.
Pancreatitis? Another fucking organ? She had been doing so well for so long, and now it was hit after hit. Why couldn’t she just catch a break?
Her doctor handed over a tissue and gave her a slight smile, one that reached the doctor’s eyes but didn’t feel pitying.
Arden loved her team, she really did. They listened to her and never told her that she had to lose weight in order to not feel pain. She was blessed with these people. And yet she wanted to punch something. She just wanted things to be okay.
But it wasn’t okay. Her hands shook, and then another wave of pain hit her, and she pressed her lips together, trying not to throw up or feel like she just needed to cry and fall.
“Okay, let’s talk for a minute, and then I’m getting you over there, okay? You’re going to be okay, Arden. Your other doctors can talk to you about this, can go into every single little detail you want. I just know this must be a lot for you. Your lupus has been acting a little aggressively for the past couple of months, and that happens. But you can get out of this flare, and then you can be perfectly fine. You know that. You were fine for years. Stable. We just need to get you out of this cycle, and then you’ll be okay.”
Arden sniffed and wiped her face. “I know. It was my skin, and then my liver, and now, my pancreas?”
“It’s all connected. You know this. And while I’m an OB/GYN, I can tell you that I have talked with your doctors, and they’re going to give you a full treatment plan. They have high hopes.”
“Don’t lie to me,” Arden said, wiping the rest of her tears away.
“They do have high hopes. Because you’re strong. And while there is no cure for lupus, they’re going to find a treatment plan that works for you so you’re more comfortable and not always in so much pain or so symptomatic. Okay? Now, I have something else to talk to you about.”
Arden sat there and listened and tried not to throw up again, she just tried to breathe.
Because as her doctor kept speaking, Arden watched one more part of her life, something she hadn’t even known she wanted, slip through her fingers.
And she didn’t want to listen anymore. She didn’t want to know anything else.
Because her body hated her. And right then? She kind of hated herself.
She just wanted a happy ending. She just wanted to be happy.
She wanted to tell Liam that she loved him and that she was going to be there for him. She wanted to watch her brothers fall in love with their future mates, and she wanted nieces and nephews and a whole big family. She wanted to get to know Liam’s family and watch as they tangled with their own relationships.
She wanted all of that. And she was so afraid that she wasn’t going to get it.
So, so afraid.
They moved her over to a room a couple of hours after that—timing in hospitals always seeming to stretch on forever.
She was hooked up to more IVs but feeling a bit better. At least physically. Mentally? It was like one blow after another.
Cross showed up right away, holding her hand as she went through details about the pancreatitis. She didn’t tell him the other part. No, that was something just for her. At least for now.
And maybe Liam.
She was just so tired. So exhausted, in fact, so used to this happening, that she had a go-bag for medical emergencies. Cross hadn’t brought it with him, though. He’d said that Liam was on his way, and that made her feel a little better. Liam hadn’t texted her back, but he’d apparently gotten her message. Then he had told the rest of her family what was going on.
Maybe he didn’t know what to say in a text. After all, she wasn’t really sure what to say either.
When Liam showed up, Cross left the room after hugging her hard and saying he would be back a little bit later, maybe with her other brothers.
She loved them, she really did.
“Hey, you,” Liam said, dropping the bag.
“So, I broke my phone. I got pissed off at a scene and threw it. But I saw that I got a text from you, I just couldn’t actually text you back. So I used Ethan’s phone to call your brother since, for some reason, he has all of your numbers. I’m pretty sure he has every single number of every person he’s ever met just for emergencies. He’s like that. Anyway, I’m sorry I didn’t call, but Ethan is helping me get a new phone, so I can hang out here with you while we figure this new thing out.”
He kissed her on her forehead and then gripped her hand. “How are you?”
“I’ve been better,” Arden said, smiling at him. “You sound like you’ve had a bad day.”
He snorted. “Yeah, let’s not talk about bad days. You’re the one in the hospital. I’ve just got a character who’s pissing me off. But that’s every book. So, pancreatitis?”
“It’s a very mild case. I just happened to get hit with it a little harder with the symptoms. It should be cleared up soon, and then I’ll be back to normal. My rheumatologist and I are going to talk about some more treatments. That way, maybe I can stop getting hit with one thing after another. I don’t think the drug I’m on is doing its job.”
“I would think not. But we’re going to figure it out. Don’t worry, I’m here.”
The way he said that, it was as if he actually were. That he was sure. She couldn’t take it anymore. Tears spilled down her cheeks. She sat up, covering her face with her hands.
This hurt. It hurt so much. And it was so hard to think of a future when everything was breaking down.
“Talk to me. What’s wrong, Arden? Are you scared? It’s okay. I’m scared, too, but we’re going to get through this together. I promise.”
He cupped her face and wiped her tears away. She just leaned into his hold, needing to tell him the other news.
“It’s not that. I mean, it is, but it’s also something else.”
She pulled away, and he reached behind her for a tissue, wiping her face.
“You can tell me. You can tell me anything. After all, I told you I was a secret baby, it’s one of your favorite tropes in romance. You can tell me this, too.”
She let out a watery laugh and shook her head. “You need to sit down.”
“Okay,” he said, his expression serious.
“You should know that I came here initially because I thought I might be pregnant,” she said quickly. Liam’s eyes widened.
“What? Are you?”
There was such hope in his voice, tinged with a little fear—exactly how she had felt. She shook her head, wiping away another tear.
“No. And we did an ultrasound while we were checking up on everything. It seems my endometriosis is getting worse. Probably because of all the drugs I’m on and the fact that my body’s attacking every organ.”
; “You said you were having pain,” he whispered. “So, what does that mean?”
She picked at a thread on her sheet, wishing she were healthy. How hard would it be to just let her be healthy?
She wanted to be the one that ran on the beach hand-in-hand with her boyfriend and thought about marriage and babies. But she wasn’t going to have that.
And she really hated the fact that she couldn’t be normal.
“They say that I’m too young, but my doctor thinks that I might need to have a hysterectomy soon. It’s all just a bit too much on my body. Just another organ for the lupus to attack. Another place for toxins to build up. They think I’ll start to feel better once it’s gone.”
Liam sat back, his eyes wide. He had gone a little pale, and Arden wanted to scream. She just wanted to make everything better.
But she wasn’t sure how to do that.
How on Earth could she do that?
“Are you feeling okay?” Liam asked, his voice steady.
“I mean, just pain. But that’s all you have to say? You’re asking if I’m feeling okay? I just told you that I might not ever be able to have kids. That they’re going to take that choice from me. And I don’t know how to feel about that.”
“I don’t know either,” he said softly and then touched her face, resting his forehead against hers.
“All I know is that I’m here for you, okay? I’m here. You don’t have to make any decisions right now. You don’t even have to think about it. You just need to rest up and get one part of you better. And then you can take care of the rest. And I know we haven’t talked about family or anything, mostly because we’re still pretty new at what we are now, but if we go down that road? Then we will. And, hell, we were just talking to Austin about adoption, right? I mean, I know we’re not there yet, nowhere close, but I’m not going to walk away just because of this. Okay? I promise. So, you don’t have to worry about me. This is all you. Okay?”
She nodded, sinking into his hold as he scooted her over on the bed so they could sit together.
It was a little weight off her shoulders, just a bit off her chest.
But the rest of it? She had to focus on that. She hadn’t ever really known if she wanted kids, but the idea that she couldn’t give birth to any of her own? Well, that…that had been on her mind. Because her body hated her. And while she could feel mostly healthy for eighty percent of her life and find ways around the pain, there would always be times when her body laughed at her.
“I just don’t know what to think,” she whispered.
“Then don’t think, you don’t have to think about it right now. You just need to get better, and then we’ll take the next step. I know there are people you can talk to. Those who’ve been through what you have or something similar. Maybe we can find them.” He was so quiet for a moment, Arden was sure he was done, but then he continued. “And I know I’m not always good with words, though sometimes I am. I just…I want you to know that I’m here. Always.”
She leaned into him, knowing that he was serious, realizing that he was truthful.
And she couldn’t help but wonder when she was going to catch a break. Just a little one.
But she was in the arms of the man that she loved, her family was healthy, and she was going to be okay. What she had wasn’t too serious. She was managing it. She was going to be fine.
And when they found the right cocktail of drugs, she would be back to her usual, happy self.
It was just when it all came at her one thing after another like this? It was a lot.
But she would be fine.
Because she had to be.
Chapter 21
Liam typed away on the computer as Arden slept, her face peaceful in repose.
They were going to let her go home the next morning, and he was grateful for that.
The pancreatitis hadn’t been as bad as they feared, and she had caught it early because she knew her body, and everyone was grateful for that, too.
Liam had just been so damn scared.
He hated that seeing her in a hospital bed was starting to become routine. She and her brothers had promised him that it wasn’t always like this, that these just happened to be a tough couple of months. He was going to let that soothe him.
He hated the fact that Arden was in pain. And there was nothing he could do other than be there for her.
So, he just watched her sleep and then went back to his computer, trying to finish up the last part of his book.
Seeing Arden in pain, watching her cry for what she might lose had made him discover the ending of his book.
He knew exactly what it needed to say, knew precisely what it needed to be.
Because of Arden.
It was always because of Arden.
He had met her when everything changed. When he’d thought he knew who he was and found out that he really didn’t.
Because he wasn’t just a man who had lost everything. Because he hadn’t really. He had gained something, too. An idea that he was different.
And all because of his family and the woman that slept in front of him.
Nash worried so much about saving the world and what was in front of him that sometimes he forgot where he came from.
And that was something Liam had forgotten, as well.
Because while he had told himself that he would never forget where he had come from, he truly had.
He doubted himself and the fact that he was a Montgomery.
Even when he’d said that he knew adoptions took place and everything was just fine, he had doubted himself.
He had doubted his family.
But they loved him even more fiercely now than before. And, yes, there would always be some twinges and weirdness with it, but that wasn’t what made him...him.
What made him who he was, was how he had been raised and who he’d become.
So, he was going to push the thoughts of birth fathers and weirdness out of his mind. Maybe forever. The other Montgomerys in other cities could know if they wanted, but it didn’t matter to him. It couldn’t. Not when there were more important things in the world.
Mainly? The woman in front of him.
And that was how he knew he could write Nash’s story.
Because his hero needed to be vulnerable. Yes, his body had been so for most of the series. He had been stabbed and thrown off buildings and almost blown up.
He’d had to hide from killers and had to kill people himself.
All physical—except for maybe the latter.
But he’d never had to be truly vulnerable.
And Penny made him that way.
So, Liam was going to have to figure out what came next.
Because Nash needed to say that he loved Penny. That he was going to give everything up for her if that’s what she wanted.
Liam sighed and looked down at the screen, knowing he needed to finish the book.
Because it wasn’t just Nash and Penny.
It was Arden.
“It’s always you,” he whispered.
Because Arden had never been a distraction despite what he’d tried to tell himself. He fucking loved her.
He never wanted to lose her.
And he was so afraid that if he weren’t careful, he might.
He kept working, opening Nash up in a way that he never had before.
Maybe his readers wouldn’t like it, but perhaps they needed it.
Because there had to be hope in the darkness.
Even if Nash and Penny went on their next adventure together, rather than apart.
But Nash needed to know that he could lose everything, and Penny needed to know that Nash would throw away everything for her, and vice versa.
Liam wrote for a good hour, saving as much as he could, even plugging in his computer to the outlet the nurses had shown him he was allowed to use. He just typed away, so much so that when he finally looked up again and blinked, he found Arden silently looking at him, a smile on her face.
> “Hey, I didn’t know you were awake,” he said quickly, hitting save before rolling back his shoulders.
“Just watching you work. I like watching you work.”
Liam grinned.
“I look like I’m insane. I slowly tilt my head to the side and have to straighten myself up when I find myself practically horizontal. I mouth the words when I type sometimes, and I make random facial expressions depending on the mood of the character.”
“Yes, you do, but how did you know that?”
“Because I filmed myself once after Ethan watched me write and made fun of me. I was convinced there was no way my brother was right.”
“Of course, because little brothers are never right.”
“No, Aaron’s the baby brother. And he’s never right. Ethan, well, he’s right a lot of the time, but we don’t like to talk about that.”
“So, you taped yourself?”
“Yep. And it was as bad as Ethan said. I’m a mess. But I know I’m not alone.” He winked at her, and she laughed.
“Oh?”
“I’ve watched you work. That day we worked side by side on the couch, and the other when we went outside when we wanted a bit of sun. You do the same things I do.”
“Oh, really? No wonder I’m always sore after working.”
“It’s hell on our bodies.”
“Yeah, so are a lot of things.”
They were silent for a moment, not touching, just looking at each other.
Arden was going to be okay, that much he knew, because there really wasn’t another option.
And he wasn’t going anywhere. No matter what. He would be by her side.
Because he had found something worth fighting for. Someone.
And it had nothing to do with where he had come from, it was where he was going.
And that was towards Arden.
He hadn’t been looking for her, but he had found her regardless.
“What were you writing?” Arden asked. “Can you finally tell me what Nash decides?”
Liam let out a breath and nodded. “Let me read it to you.”
Her eyes widened, and she leaned forward.
Don't Break This Kiss (Top Shelf Romance Book 5) Page 118
