by Linzi Basset
“Jade Palmer is a user, Kayla. She leeches off people and the more you give, the more she demands.”
“And you know this how?” she asked suspiciously. She pushed the tray to the end of the bed, having lost her appetite.
Steele chuckled at the tense pursing of her lips, a sure sign of jealousy. “It’s not what you think, love. I’ve never had any desire to sleep with your friend, but I’ve been involved with gamblers long enough to know the signs. Adding to that, she did her best to coerce me into extending her credit using rather, shall we say, flagrant methods.”
“Are you saying she tried to seduce you to get more money out of you?”
He shrugged, finished his coffee, and placed the empty mug on the tray. He sat back against the headboard, crossing his arms over his wide and rippling chest. His movement enticed Kayla’s eyes to drool over his well-toned and muscular body, drifting lower to the sculpted abdominals with a six-pack that popped it was so perfect. She could imagine him being a hit in a Calvin Klein shoot.
How am I supposed to concentrate with all this yummy skin begging me to lick it?
“Maybe later, my eager little subbie,” he said with a darkening glimmer in his eyes. His smile was brief as the hot flush bloomed red over her cheeks at being caught drooling over his physique and the rising bulge in his boxers. “Los Angeles, Kayla,” he said by way of reminder.
Kayla sighed, having hoped he’d let it go but she should’ve known better. She fidgeted with her fingers, looking through the window.
“The truth, please.”
“You’re not making this easy, Steele.” She bit her lip and sat looking at her fingers that wouldn’t stop moving in agitation.
“Honesty shouldn’t be difficult, Kayla. It’s searching for ways to shield the truth that makes it so.”
Kayla heaved a heavy sigh. Well, here goes nothing! She was about to either pave the way to a happy ever after future or make a complete ass of herself, but Steele was right. It was time to come clean.
“I … ehm …” She dared a quick peek at him. He hadn’t moved and still had the appearance of a formidable gladiator studying his opponent. “I guess the truth is that I’ve had a crush on you from school days, which got worse in college. Watching you surrounded by all those giggling and clinging girls and seeing how you ate up their attention … it put me completely out of play. I realized I wasn’t anywhere near your league or the type of girls you preferred. After college, it just got worse. All the actresses, heiresses, and god knows what else, I knew I’d never stand a chance, so I kept it locked away … the feelings I believed I had for you.”
Her fingers tangled tighter together. “Until Jade and I got invited to the masked ball for the opening of the Crown Plaza Hotel and Casino in L.A. I didn’t want to go at first but she convinced me it was the perfect opportunity to network.” She frowned. “I still don’t know where the invitation came from, to be honest.”
“It was my hotel, Kayla. Where do you think it came from?” His brows were drawn in a line of annoyance, like she should’ve known it had been him.
Kayla just stared at him for breathless moments. Her heart began to beat faster at the implication of what he’d just admitted.
Easy, Kayla. Just because he invited you as a business owner doesn’t mean it had any other meaning than just that.
“I … ehm …” She cleared her throat and dragged her gaze from his to concentrate on her fingers. It seemed easier than looking into his blazing eyes. “It was the first night you weren’t surrounded by women. Every time I had been to a function it was to see one or two hanging onto you like trinkets. That night … you shunned them and it thrilled me. I felt safe behind the mask. I’d walked past you a couple of times and you never indicated that you knew who I was. I saw it as an opportunity to grasp the chance to fulfill one of my darkest dreams. You … to have sex with you. To be the sole recipient of your attention, to …” she swallowed hard and then plundered ahead, “… to make you see there was more to a woman than outer beauty, money, fame, and fortune … more to me! That maybe you’d develop some feelings through the course of the night and … I … don’t know how I thought it would ever come to par.”
She ran a trembling hand through her hair.
“Something that woke me with glaring clarity at dawn that morning. The night was … magical—to me at least— but in the end, it was just sex and I couldn’t face you knowing it was me acting so slutty throughout the night. The one thing I never wanted you to think was that I’m a cheap slut.”
Kayla was becoming agitated when Steele didn’t respond, just watched her with brooding eyes. She licked her bottom lip and burst out, “Say something, damn it!”
“You don’t think much of me, do you?”
Her eyes widened. “Where does that come from? I never said that.”
“Maybe not in so many words but the meaning is there in everything you said. Of how you perceive me, of the kind of man you believe I am.”
“The reality is, Steele, I don’t really know you and neither do you me. I formed an opinion based on what I saw, in the articles of the tabloids, and on television shows, and yes, I know the majority of those aren’t dependable and twisted, but be honest. You are always surrounded by women. Your sexual trysts are well known. You’ve never kept it quiet and—”
“And you never questioned any of it? Yes, we’ve always walked circles around each other but you have known me for probably fifteen years. Is it really so easy to brand me as a gigolo? A womanizer who, according to those tabloids you refer to, has the sexual stamina of a bull on steroids! For fuck’s sake, Kayla, do you truly believe I’m the kind of man who would have sex with a different woman every goddamn night?”
Kayla could only stare at him as his anger and accusations washed over her. She cast her mind back over time and realized that maybe she had been blinded by who she’d perceived him to be. Perhaps as a mechanism to protect her own heart. In reality, thinking about it, she clearly remembered that it was the women doing the clinging, that he at times appeared bored and annoyed. For that matter, she couldn’t recall that she’d ever seen him kiss or hug any of them in public.
She thought back to their night together in L.A. and came to a shocking realization. It had been a wild night, yes, but his caresses and touches had an underlying gentleness and care to them that she had mistaken for pure lust. Had she really been so blind and judgmental, purely to keep herself from getting hurt?
Judging by the anger painting a canvas of emotion over his face, she’d completely misjudged the man he truly was. The one she’d come to know over the past couple of days. As a professional, he had integrity and high standards. As a man, he was protective and caring, loving to his family and knew what he wanted from life. Not once had he made her feel cheap or slutty, rather desired and wanted, treasured even for her femininity and honest desire she’d expressed throughout the night … as much as he had his to her.
“Steele, I—”
“Do you know that I always believed you of all people saw through the façade? That you knew what I really felt and wanted … especially after that night with you.”
He got up and yanked on his clothes with stilted movements.
“I’m sorry. I realize I have been too judgmental, that I never … you know …” Her hands fluttered in the air.
He slanted a disgruntled look at her as he yanked on his shoes and then pulled on his coat.
“No, Kayla, I don't know and that’s exactly the problem. I think it’s better that I leave before I say something I’ll regret.”
“Steele, please give me a chance to explain,” she protested as he stomped toward the door.
He turned around and stared at her—long and hard.
“I did and you made your feelings abundantly clear. Goodbye Kayla.”
She felt the heat leave the room with him. His goodbye sounded suspiciously like farewell to her ears. Her heart contracted painfully. Just the thought that he might have just
walked out of her life for good, caused a jolt of pain to lance through her body.
“You’re such an idiot, Kayla Silver. A complete and utter fool! How could I not have seen him for who he really is? Why did it take all these years for my eyes to open?”
No answers came back at her and she curled into a miserable ball under the duvet. Kayla felt desolate and alone.
Completely and utterly alone.
Chapter Nine
Steele had never felt as disappointed as he did at that moment. He sat outside Kayla’s house in his car for a long while staring out to the iced-over lake.
“I guess I was naive to believe her interest in me that night had been because she was attracted to who I really am. That she truly wanted to get to know me.”
He started the engine and allowed it to heat up for a while. His well laid out plans suddenly crashed around him.
“I thought she was different but all she had wanted that night was a hot night of sex with one of the most eligible and rich bachelors in the state. Just like all the other women to date.” His sigh dragged through the chill in the air like a fishing trawler through sheets of ice in the ocean. “Question is, do I still want her regardless of who she believes I am?”
He listened to his voice rumbling through the interior of the car as he drove off. He had been attracted to Kayla since she started college. He hadn’t been a full time student anymore but he used to drop in on occasion to see the professors while finalizing his doctorate. He had respected her innocence and because he was six years older than her, believed she needed to gain experience— life and sexually— before she was exposed to him, to his needs and to his power. He had shown his interest in subtle glances; a brief smile here and there and instinctively knew it had found its mark over the years.
“Fuck. Show me one man who would embark on such a lengthy courtship!”
The invitation to her and her partner for the grand opening of the Hotel in L.A. had been his first strategic move and it paid off. She’d gone. He had been so elated, he’d completely ignored the women vying for his attention. He’d covertly kept an eye on Kayla the entire night and when she’d approached him at the bar with a shy smile offering to buy him a drink, his heart had missed a beat.
“I can’t believe she thought all these years that I didn’t know it was her.”
She had been dressed as Cleopatra, black wig included, with a gold mask that had covered half of her face. Steele had recognized her the moment she’d stepped into the ballroom.
His intention hadn’t been to end up in bed with her that night, and in all honesty, he couldn’t remember how it had happened. One thing he did know was that once she pressed her naked body against his, he was lost. A surge of lust and the desire to completely dominate her had overwhelmed him. He had to dig deep into his dominant arsenal to hold onto his control and not completely botch up the night. He had managed at first but the moment he realized she was a natural submissive, he let go of all restraint.
Kayla had met every demand and order with abundant eagerness. Had offered more than he’d ever expected and had given him as a Dominant the kind of submission he had always dreamed of.
“Only it had scared the shit out of her by the time she woke up and she ran.”
He frowned as his mind replayed the prior night like a movie reel. This time, he’d made sure she knew what to expect and she hadn't run. She had stayed, and like before, hadn’t held back on submitting to his every command.
Steele had never admitted to the feelings inside him for Kayla. He’d accepted they existed but had dogmatically ignored them. After she ran away from him that morning, he’d decided to give her two years grace to find another man to love and he’d accept it if that had to happen. If not, then, he’d go after her with all guns blazing.
“Except I went about it the wrong fucking way. Pushing too hard, too fast. Why the hell did I insist on marriage? I should’ve used the opportunity to woo her so that she could get to know the real me, but no! I had to push it!”
Living a sexually dominated lifestyle with a taste of light BDSM included wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. It had to be something she wanted to embrace as part of their marriage and last night, he’d once again barged ahead like a bulldog.
He sighed. He wasn’t a young man anymore and he’d been waiting a long time for Kayla. Maybe he was a fool and setting himself up to be hurt but his feelings hadn’t changed. He had been more patient about that than with anything in his life. No more. He wanted her as his wife, his submissive wife.
“But I’ll be damned if I’m going to force her into it.”
He did a U-turn and stepped on the gas, driving back to Kayla’s house.
She had just placed the tray with their breakfast dishes in the kitchen when he stomped back inside. Her eyes widened as he walked up to her until they stood toe-to-toe.
“Steele, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean … oh,” she gulped as he cupped her cheeks and silenced her with his lips on hers. Kayla felt his warmth infiltrate her, surprised once again by the kiss. How he managed to imprint a different emotion into each one he gave her, left her breathless. She clung to the lapels of his coat as she lost herself in the lip lock that was steeped in a passion that ignited hers. It held the promise of realness, of the primal desire that lived inside both of them. And with it, he told her that he was awake, connected within, that he embraced himself and offered it all to her.
He ended the kiss with a leisurely brush of his lips back and forth against hers before he leaned back, looking deeply into her eyes.
“I refuse to mess this up. Come, I have something to say and I need you to listen.”
Kayla was too overwhelmed by what she saw in his eyes to do anything else but stumble after him to the living room. She sat down in the wingback chair he guided her to. He took a seat on the heavy coffee table in front of her.
“I can’t deny that I’m disappointed you never realized I knew who you were that night in L.A.” He placed his fingers on her lips when she opened her mouth to talk. “No. I only need you to listen.” He waited until she nodded. “I know you were aware of my interest in you over the years, Kayla. A man feels it, just as I know you did with every glance between us, but I had to give you time. I’m six years older than you and had no intention of limiting your experiences in life too soon. Your career took off so rapidly after college that I stepped back, realizing it was an important part of your life. Your innocence was the other reason I kept my distance. You now know what my sexual needs are I had no intention of frightening you away by making demands of you.”
He smiled as her cheeks turned red under his heated stare.
“I knew who you were from the moment you arrived that night. I guess my disappointment stems from the fact that you believe I’m the kind of man who would have such a mind-blowing sexual experience we had that night with a faceless woman. I might have a reputation as a Casanova of sorts but contrary to what the tabloids say, Kayla, I have always been very selective when it comes to sexual partners.”
He ran a tired hand over his eyes.
“I have to be. Not everyone is susceptible to a Dominant submissive lifestyle and I’m always cognizant of that. In reality, love, there have only been three women I regularly had sex with over the last couple of years. Women who are in the lifestyle and live for submission with no expectations or demands. I never had sex with any of the women I took to functions or went on dates with. Purely because I have no interest in casual sex or a normal sexual relationship.”
“You said had sex?”
His smile was brief. “That would depend on you.” He took her hands and gently rubbed her palms with his thumbs. “I believed you ran away that night because you were disgusted or got scared by the intensity of the night we had. I discarded that almost immediately. I dissected every moment of that night we had together. One thing I never doubted was that you were fully invested in it. You enjoyed and blossomed under my domination.” His eyes darkened. “I even
went looking for you once I returned to Michigan.”
Kayla frowned, thinking back. “I don’t recall you coming to see me.”
“I went to your office. You were busy on a project somewhere. That’s where I met Jade for the first time. I asked her to tell you about my visit and for you to call me. I assume she never gave you the message?”
“No.” Kayla shook her head slowly as she filtered through her memory. It wasn’t something she’d have forgotten. Not so close after that explosive night with Steele. “I wonder why she never told me.”
Steele's lips flattened. “My guess would be that she was miffed that I didn’t seem flattered by her flirting with me.” His brows drew in a straight line as he mused aloud, “It was after that meeting that she started gambling at Crown Plaza Casino. I suppose she believed she had a connection with me of some sorts.”
“Is that why you were lenient with her as far as granting her advances?”
“I’d like to say no but, in a way, I felt beholden.”
“I don’t understand.”
“When I didn’t hear from you, I assumed that my sexual needs did scare you off and it was one way of making it up to you. Besides, at the time, she didn’t seem to have a problem. She only gambled one or two weekends a month. It only escalated over the past six months.”
He squeezed her hands. “We digress; this isn’t about Jade. I decided to give you two years’ grace. Two years in which to find a man to love and marry. If you didn’t, you were mine. I always harbored feelings for you, Kayla. They burst to the surface that night you so beautifully and unconditionally offered yourself to me. It’s been hell staying away from you but I managed.”
“Why? I don’t understand. Why did you stay away?”
He smiled at her confusion. “Not every woman is prepared to adapt to the kind of sexual lifestyle I prefer, Kayla, I felt I had to give you the opportunity to find love and have a normal marriage. If you didn’t … well, I figured that would be my cue. Jade’s fall from grace gave me the window I needed and I took it without thinking twice. I didn’t pay off her debts to protect her. I did it to get to you. To find a way to make you … indebted to me. To give me an edge … anything I could use to make you mine.”
