by Erin R Flynn
I had. I had a few times but he’d fought against me, siding with Mel or other people. I didn’t want to say that like I was bringing up old fights but… The hurt from that wasn’t gone. So I didn’t want to hurt him, but if he hadn’t given my instincts reason to kick in, I wouldn’t default to running.
It made sense in my head.
Right then I was too tired to do much thinking, so I simply gave into that and hoped it chilled my panic and gave Lucca whatever he needed as well. I think it worked because I was jostled awake when my big snuggly bear climbed on the bed and I was all cleaned up.
“We’re going to be okay, Tams. All of us,” he whispered as he pulled me closer.
I really wished he was right, but I’d lived too many years in the real world where that never happened.
Never.
18
Lucca liked waking with me in his bed as he repeatedly told me the next morning and every time he saw me after. I was seconds from putting duct tape over his mouth. My mood was shit after dealing the long lecture from Instructor Larson I should have come to him about my potions class. Mel was finally acknowledging me now that she’d forgiven me, but I wanted no part of that upset.
Oh and even Professor Pillay gave me a talking to about not coming to her. Larson’s lecture was easier to handle as he was salty and a pain. Hers made me feel guilty as she was disappointed she hadn’t been the teacher I needed if I couldn’t trust her with such a problem.
For the love of…
So when Lucca was waiting outside of Shifter Culture II to tell once again how much he liked me being in his bed when he woke and wanted it more often—awesome to repeatedly hear normally, but not when I was suppressing the need to run when we were moving too fast—I was seconds from portaling the bear somewhere far. Very far. That way I’d have peace on his long walk back.
Something I mentally projected to him by accident, the hurt and upset on his face gutting me. He was equal parts pissed and looking at me as if I’d killed all the puppies in the world before storming off.
Fuck. Just fuck.
I would have gone after him, but I had to get to my potions make-up assignments. Lageos was coming to show Craftsman and I how to use the device he’d created for me, and then Craftsman was going to oversee a few of the assignments so I could start catching up.
I pulled out my phone as I hurried along and was about to text Lucca that I was sorry and I’d find him later… But then I stopped. A few things hit me at once, starting with realizing he never asked me why I wasn’t at dinner or lunch the day before. He didn’t notice or pay attention. I was clearly upset when I came to him last night.
He never asked why or what had happened.
I was clearly stressed today and he hadn’t noticed at all. I was seconds from pulling out my hair and that never caught his attention. He just kept going on and on about how nice it was that his bedding finally smelled like me. Finally.
We all got lost in our heads and it was about me a lot, but I paid attention too. When he’d skipped dessert last week and it was one of the candy pie options that he loved, I immediately noticed and asked what was wrong.
And I’d been right. His young brother was acting out and having problems at school. He wouldn’t talk to Lucca about it or anyone in the family and Lucca was worried because they used to be close.
But I’d noticed. I’d paid attention and checked on him, listened to him when he wanted to talk.
I slid my phone back in my pocket. We needed to talk later, but I wasn’t sure I needed to hurry to apologize. Yes, apologize for hurting him, though maybe also smack him for being a bit of a selfish brat.
Maybe.
It was one of the last things I wanted to do until I walked into the powder keg and staring contest from hell between Craftsman and Kramer… While Lageos sat off to the side looking amused as if he’d already placed his wager.
“If you two try my patience with some bullshit and don’t act like my teachers, I won’t act like a student and pound you both to handle this toxic masculinity,” I warned, my voice cold.
Craftsman immediately snapped out of it. “Just a difference of opinion on how to handle this, duckie. Nothing for you to worry over. All that matters is your schooling.”
Uh-huh. Still, I was on his side of any shit with Kramer—I was pretty sure I had to be automatically as his lover—and let it go.
We got started with the first but then he got pissed fast, and I was about to get annoyed until I heard his thoughts. He was validly upset that Kramer had missed I was such a diligent student and had everything perfect, my prep work exceptional and that should have been noticed when my assignments blew up.
“I should have caught this,” Professor Kramer muttered as he studied my setup. “I apologize profusely, Ms. Vale. You always have so much at your station, even when you don’t partner up like the others, that I thought you were working in disarray. Clearly, if I’d stopped to see what you were doing, I would have seen your extensive prep. This was my fault and I’m sorry this situation snowballed.”
“Thanks. It’s not the first one and I’m sure it won’t be the last,” I forgave. “My status as being an unknown has a lot of crap attached with it, like not being able to place out of runes when I actually did or everyone would throw a fit because unknowns are somehow automatically unstable.”
“In general, that’s true and—” he started to defend.
“It’s not actually,” I argued, finally letting the cat out of the bag on the research I’d done. “It’s rare that an unknown reaches my age, and they can be unstable and peak too early, their cap limited. It’s exceptionally rare any ‘fizzle out’ and implode like bitchy people like to run their mouths about. Like, a few have, but there were dozens of unknowns found last year. Dozens, the year I was.
“It’s a lie of control people are told that it’s super-duper rare. It’s not as rare as people say. It’s never happened here before and with my power level. It’s normally younger. Of the forty-nine unknowns that were discovered the year I was that I could find out about, thirty-five of them were under the age of ten. So it’s not unheard of. It’s not anywhere near as rare as people say. And we’re not all unstable.”
He stared at me for several moments before trying to read my aura that I had muted. “I apologize again. You’re right. I don’t know as much on the topic as I thought. However, I will say I knew an unknown in high school and he was unstable. I can’t say—maybe not magically, but if you asked me how, I think he could not deal with having an animal inside of him after growing up human.”
I nodded. “That’s not unfair, but there are monsters all over this campus who grew up knowing they were supes and that’s acceptable, so perception isn’t always reality. I would think a teacher here wise enough to understand that difference.”
His lips twitched. “Touché, Ms. Vale.”
Good. I wanted that handled since I had another year of working with him. Setting aside his fantasies about me. I did need to be able to go to him with school stuff if I got lost. So at least we were to that level now? Maybe?
Maybe it was the week for maybes.
We worked until dinner and then Lageos announced we had it down, that Craftsman could help me on his own now.
And that he wanted to join us in the cafeteria to see it and my school life better.
Okay then. It wasn’t a parent’s weekend or anything like that, and I couldn’t tell people he was my dad but sure, he could join us for dinner. People wouldn’t ask what he was or be nosy. Not in my life, with the attention I got.
Fuck, their heads would explode if they found out I was a fairy and he was a demigod.
My life was so godsdamn weird.
It took about thirty seconds after we walked into the cafeteria for someone to start something. It was one of my normal haters. A hawk shifter with a huge thing for Darby who had started laying into me heavier once I’d gotten back with my boyfriend. It had taken me a while to learn her name si
nce there were a lot of people who gave me shit.
And hated me. Most had just as valid of reasons, which was to say they didn’t, but the stupid ones always amused me. And she was stupid with a capital S.
“Another man to add to your harem and degrade Darby with?” Andy sneered as we headed to get trays. “I know people say you’re a comitissa, but it’s just a way for you to try and defend being a slut.”
“Well, now that we’ve heard the opinion of someone truly inconsequential, we’ll make sure to never register it,” Lageos drawled. “And we’re related, not involved.”
Andy frowned. “I thought you had no family.”
“Yes, and I bet that hurt.”
She blinked at him. “What did?”
He smirked at her. “You having a thought. Now go away, you meaningless twit.”
Her eyes went wide as people around her gasped. “How dare you—”
Lageos ignored her and focused on me. “You truly didn’t downplay the pettiness and overinflated value of the peons here. The amount of ego in this room alone is stifling when none of them has achieved anything of note.”
I nodded, walking right past her and her outraged group of followers. “It’s privilege of being raised to think they’re better and special. They take on the power of their parents’ money and don’t realize how they’re not worth anything yet.”
He nodded as he handed me a tray and let me lead the way. “It’s wise you understand that and assess the situation so wisely. It used to be—and I’m not sure this has yet to change in this new age—that money bought security and that security brought power. The most secure areas were the ones with the most power. Think logically and it makes sense.”
I hummed in agreement as I loaded up plates, pointing out to him what were my favorites. “Having the provisions to feed your soldiers and provide for them keeps them loyal and fit, able to be trained as long as you watch so they don’t get gluttonous and lazy. That keeps your lands secure to prosper and bring in more wealth, and that’s power. It’s a cycle if you manage to keep it or expand it.”
“Well done,” he praised. “You have a much firmer grasp on the big pictures of life and society than most anyone I’ve ever met your age. You have a knack for seeing the pieces and how they fit.” He glanced at me over the buffet line. “Not everyone can do that, Tamsin. None of us can be great at everything and that means not being good at the stuff most are when you are magnificent at what few are.”
I heard the compliment and I knew what he was trying to tell me. “Thank you, but it doesn’t make it easier to handle. I miss and mishandle too much of what most think basic.”
“I don’t believe you do, but simply realize it’s not worth your time. Most would give that pest still flying around us wanting attention their time and play nice, not risk her wrath and the conflict. We are evolved compared to her and won’t play her games or enable her delusions of importance.”
Right on cue, Andy hit her limit and came storming towards us. I sighed and turned towards her. “Fuck off before you seriously annoy me. You can bitch me out tomorrow at breakfast and I’ll pretend to care.” I chuckled. “Fine, I won’t, but I’ll stand there for a few minutes for you to… Brag about? I don’t know what your small brain does with it, but whatever. Tomorrow, I’ll give you two minutes.”
Lageos threw back his head and burst out laughing. “You definitely have my side of the family in you.”
I shrugged. Fine, I could blame my impatience for stupid on him.
Gladly.
It stumped Andy nonetheless, and she stood there like an idiot as we walked off. It was fun—not stumping bitches, though I always enjoyed that. Having Lageos there was fun. He was a hit with our group, and he seemed to truly enjoy getting the chance to see how I lived.
Word got out that a member of my family was at Artemis just as we finished, two of the warlock elders showing up with guards.
Lageos gave me a wink that he knew what I was going to do before standing and smirking at the men. “You’re lucky Tamsin has more patience than I do and has asked me to wait in acting. Otherwise, I’d level your fucking council and all of you corrupt pieces of garbage that have threatened her. I look forward to the day I can.”
And then I opened a portal for him to step through. He was gone before they could even react. Sure, he could teleport, but that would cause more trouble than we needed.
I was fairly sure he could make it seem like he’d opened a portal, but it was easier to just play the games we needed to.
“I demand his name this instant,” Councilman Harjo bellowed from several tables away.
“Well, since I don’t answer to you… No,” I mocked.
“But we have to give it since we do answer to the councils,” Headmaster Edelman explained. “And I warned Lageos before he stepped foot on campus. He understood that others validly deserved to know who else was allowed on a closed campus, though they would find no record of him either.” His eyes danced with amusement as he faced off with Harjo. “That was Lageos Vale.”
“Species?” Harjo bit out.
Edelman shrugged. “He’s undeclared. I can’t get a read on him.”
“The dragons can try and protect you all they want, Edelman, but you answer to us, and we know you were there when she touched the species crystal,” Harjo seethed. “One day, you will tell us.”
“Maybe, but not by choice, and not today, Councilman. You know the way out and have a wonderful night.”
It was hard not to laugh when Edelman gave a mocking nod and walked away.
“You did it,” I told Harjo before he spewed shit at me. “You wear the hat of the holy and commit the gravest of sins. People aren’t stupid and are tired of the corruption and lies. Don’t blame me that you are a fraud.”
“Watch your mouth,” he snapped.
“I’d need a mirror, and I’m not a narcissist like you,” I purred as I stood. “Do you need me to spell Lageos? If you do, let me know, because I’m going to enjoy you guys chasing your tails on this, just as you did trying to get everything you could on me.” I winked at him as I walked by with my tray. “How did that work out for you?”
I threw back my head and laughed, not waiting for whatever the reply would be.
It didn’t matter and they knew it.
What did matter was Lucca waiting for me in my room with a massive basket of treats and his best puppy dog eyes.
Well, my night was looking up. I decided to give him an inch. “I’m sorry you heard my super snarky, rude, and offhanded thought I would never have broadcast to you when I’ve been too frustrated, as it’s never fair to take out on you.”
“Damn, kitten,” he whispered. “Just dayumn. Why can’t I ever apologize like that and handle shit better?”
I swallowed a laugh. “I never handle my shit well. I’m just honest. I am sorry you heard that. I’m not saying you didn’t deserve my thinking snarky thoughts, but I’d never be so rude. I’ve been too stressed and—”
“I was being a spoiled, entitled, rich kid who’s used to it being all about him all the time,” he muttered. “I’m sorry for that. I am. I got lost in my head, and what you thought did hurt me. I said something to Hudson and I thought he was going to pound me, telling me not to be a dick and maybe ask why you weren’t at lunch and dinner because he was worried about you and got the story from Craftsman.”
I nodded. “I’m glad you like me in your bed, but you’re a pushy dick sometimes. I’m finally in your bed and your sheets finally smell like me. Yeah, your life is hard. Neldor wants to bind my power and take over all of Faerie, fairies freaking out all over the place about my power and now my father, so I didn’t feel I could tell anyone I was blowing up potions. That’s what literally blew up on me. Again.”
“And you pay attention when I’m upset. I know. You do.” He sighed, scrubbing his hand over his head. “There are times I do get things right, yeah? I mean… I feel like all I do is fuck up.”
“It’
s not all you do and we—this is unconventional. That’s harder. So I’m not mad, but I’m not going to turn around and apologize or run after you when you should have noticed something real was going on.”
“Fair.” He held up the basket towards me. “I should apologize because you clearly were going through shit, and I’m a dick for not paying attention better.”
“Yeah, but you helped me last night, so I will accept the nummies and share.” I went over to him and gave him a quick kiss. “At least I know why you snuck out of dinner early. I thought you might be pouting on me, you big bear.”
“You’re starting to use that as like the all-inclusive term,” he teased. “Sometimes I think it’s when you want to call me asshole and other times when you want to call me sweetheart.”
“I’ll never tell.” I giggled when he grabbed me and tossed me on the bed, my mood getting even better as we had fun and ate too much.
And then had naked fun and really made up.
Yes, I also let him sleep over and my sheets smelled like him which made the damn bear supremely happy. Goofball.
Andy was waiting for me at breakfast with an expectant look on her face. I blinked at her several times before it finally sank in what was going on. I burst out laughing and it took me several minutes to calm down.
“You’re really a fucking idiot if you thought I was serious and would really stand here and let you do whatever,” I said before walking right past her. “And the fact you got up early to catch me, all dolled up for the attention you thought it would bring, is just fucking pathetic.”
“You’re not as hot of shit as you think, Vale. We’ve all been laughing at you behind your back,” she shouted after me.
I paused, glancing back at her. “One of the many differences between us is that would actually bother you. I don’t give a single fuck. Laugh away.”
It wasn’t until potions class it sank in as to what she was referring to that people were laughing at me. Right, things blowing up in my face.
