by Cindi Madsen
“My agent got all fired up, but my body went numb, my dream bubble popping as the words ‘no unique spark’ played over and over in my mind.”
Royce’s heart tugged, and he wrapped his arms around her. “That’s total horseshit.” He couldn’t believe it. Did they even pay attention when she sang? He listened to the radio plenty, and to say Sadie wasn’t unique—she was different and amazing, and all the record label people were idiots.
She blinked back tears and shook her head. “Whatever, you know? It happens. Then, to make everything a hundred times worse, I had a breakdown during my next performance. Even though I’d sung at that club all the time, my confidence was shot. I screwed up right at the beginning, and then I kept thinking, This is why the contract fell through. So I started crying and”—she winced—“ran off the stage. After that, I pretty much hit rock bottom. And I just knew it was time for me to come home.”
The way she called Hope Springs home gave Royce a glimmer of hope for her staying long-term. But then he registered the sorrow and regret in her voice. It dug at him, making him want things that were at complete odds with each other.
“I guess all of those ups and downs ended up making me who I am, right?” Sadie continued. “I experienced things people only ever dream of and realized I was stronger than I ever thought I could be. I tell myself that I got farther than most people do, so I shouldn’t feel like a failure, but it kills me that it still wasn’t enough.”
He kissed her temple, leaving his lips on her soft skin as he spoke. “I’m sorry, babe. But I know how driven you are, and you’ve got the most amazing voice I’ve ever heard. You’ll bounce back, stronger than ever.”
She shrugged. “At first I thought having to move home was the end of the world, and all I could think about was how I was going to get back to Nashville as soon as possible. But it’s nice to see my mom—even though she’s busy as ever, something I swore I was going to help fix—and I can chat with my grandpa about anything, and he just gets me. Then I get to sit across from my grandma as she tries to teach me to cook, and I start thinking it’s a good thing I came home for a while, and that maybe I shouldn’t rush. I’d regret not spending more time with her if her health takes a turn for the worse instead of better. You just never know when it might be your last chance.”
Sadie suddenly stiffened and twisted to face him. “Sorry. You lost your dad, and here I am talking about how great it is to have my family. I wasn’t thinking.”
“It’s okay for you to talk about spending time with the people you love, Sadie.”
She ran her hand down his chest, resting it over the hollow spot that opened up whenever he started missing Dad, as if she knew right where his soul needed soothing.
“I constantly think about how lucky I was to have spent so much time with my dad before he died,” he said. “Giving up rodeos sucked at first, but I knew he needed the help, and with him, work didn’t feel like work. If I’d been on the road all the time, I would’ve missed it.”
“I should’ve been there for you—I knew how close you were to him, and he was…” Her voice came out rough and her bottom lip quivered. He could see her fighting her emotions, and it made it hard to hold back his. “He was always so good to me, like I was part of the family already.” Unshed tears glistened in her eyes. “I wanted to come back when I heard, but I figured you wouldn’t want to see me.”
Just the fact that she cared that much about his dad and had even thought about it comforted him. Made him not feel so stupid for everything that’d happened in the past, or for thinking they had a shot at turning their current relationship into something more than just temporary fun.
“You shouldn’t have gone through that alone,” she whispered.
Royce swept her hair off her face. “I had my mom. It was a shock, and it was hard, but we got through it.” There were days where it felt like they were still getting through it, and plenty where the grief would push its way up when he least expected it. But he knew he needed to be strong for Mom, and it helped that he could reflect on all the hours working with Dad, and how much he’d taught him over the years. That he could look out at the land Dad had loved and see hints of him everywhere.
Sadie sniffed. “Sorry, I didn’t realize I’d get so emotional.” She grabbed his hand and sandwiched it between hers. “Anyway, I honestly don’t know how you manage to do it all, but he’d be proud of the way you’ve handled everything. You’re kind of an amazing guy, Royce Dixon.” She peered into his eyes, and her forehead wrinkled like she was trying to work out a math equation. “How did you manage to stay single?”
“It’s not too hard. Just work all the time. A lot of women can’t handle that. They want a show cowboy, not a real one.”
“Not me.”
“Oh, yeah?” He leaned closer until their breaths mingled.
“Yeah. I want a rodeo clown.”
He shook his head and then captured her lips with his, cutting her laugh short as he pulled her onto his lap.
She brushed her lips across his and then placed a light kiss on them. “You know, it is okay to take a break once in a while. Maybe put an extra week between camps so you’re not working yourself quite so hard?”
He shrugged. “Maybe.”
“And speaking of Second Chance Ranch…I really don’t want to start a fight, but just hear me out, okay?”
He sighed, sure he wasn’t going to like where this was going. “Okay.”
“So I get that Addison and Eli broke the rules, but they’ve been working like crazy for the past few days, and they don’t have very long left at the camp. I think what they need is a spark of hope. Like, say they had a…” She made a big of show of tapping her finger to her lip, acting like she was just now trying to come up with an idea, even though he knew where this was going. “I know! A rodeo! Something they’ve never been to before and thought was lame, but now they realize how cool it’d be, and if they had that goal to work toward, they’d still see that they made bad choices, but they’d keep making good ones so that they could go.”
He stared at her raised eyebrows, the hope shining from those green eyes that she was definitely batting. He’d sworn he wouldn’t be a pushover, but he supposed he had been a little harsh on two kids who were doing something he and Sadie had done several times when they were their age. Maybe he’d overcompensated by being harsh so he’d prove that she had no control over his decisions, which was laughable. Clearly she knew it, too. “I’ll consider it.”
She grinned and even clapped. Then she dove onto him and attack kissed him, starting with his lips, moving across his jaw and neck, and then back to his mouth. He lay back on the blanket, pulling her with him. Every few minutes, one of them would lose an article of clothing, until there was nothing and yet everything between them.
…
Sadie tried to hold back a shiver, but her body shuddered anyway. “It’s colder than I remember.”
Royce tugged the blanket up and held her closer. She rested her head on his chest and ran a hand down his stomach, trying to curl every inch of herself around him. Hopefully his warmth would soak into her, and soon. Apparently she’d gotten too used to Nashville temperatures.
He rubbed his hands over her arms, heating her skin with his deliciously callused palms. She grinned up at him and he smiled right back, like they were in on some secret that was all theirs. And they were. This was their special place with their very own starry sky overhead, and the only thing that mattered in the world was here and now. She wanted to capture the bliss wrapped around her like a second blanket and hold it next to her forever. It was all so perfect it almost seemed like a dream.
The ring of her cell phone broke through the sound of the nearby rushing river and popping fire. She bit her lip, wanting to ignore it, sure Nolan was calling again—she should’ve known he’d keep calling.
Maybe it’s Mom or Grandpa or Grandma, though. She felt around for her phone and then looked at it. She was right the first time. She glanced at Royce and
decided whatever it was, she could deal with it better with him next to her.
“Sorry. Just give me a minute.” She pulled on her shirt so she wouldn’t freeze and answered her phone, thinking she might be too late to catch it before it rolled over to voicemail.
“Sadie. Didn’t you get my message?”
“Don’t you ever sleep?”
“Not when I’m sitting on news like this. Remember the hall of fame ceremony when you did that cover of ‘Next Time’ before Blue went onstage?”
Since it was pretty much the most awesome moment in her singing life, she thought it was a silly question. Of course she remembered. “Yeah.”
“Well, one of the junior executives from Belle Meade Records heard you sing, and apparently you made a big impression. Now that she’s been promoted, she wants to meet with you. They’ve already agreed to fly you out, but it needs to be this weekend. As in, you need to fly here tomorrow afternoon so we can meet with them first thing Saturday.”
Excitement danced through her stomach. Belle Meade was huge!
But then she glanced at Royce, watching her with his steady gaze, and confusion crept in. A month ago, she wouldn’t have thought twice about jumping all over an offer like this. It was everything she’d worked for for six years. All the tears, the heartbreak—it might actually pay off.
But what would she lose in return?
Everything’s still so new between us, though. It’s not like… She almost thought it wasn’t like she loved Royce, but her heart filled up with all of their memories, old and new, and she knew that wasn’t true. I do love him. I’m not sure I ever fell out of love with him.
Royce sat up, the blanket falling to his waist. He grabbed her hand, squeezed it, and mouthed, “Everything okay?”
“Sadie?” Nolan asked.
“Um, can I call you back? Like tomorrow morning?”
“We need to jump on this now, Sadie. Remember what happened last time? This is a fickle business, and if you don’t grab onto an opportunity, you might lose it.”
Cold spread through her gut. She clenched the phone tighter. Clenched Royce’s hand tighter. Her dreams were within reach but in danger of slipping between her fingers, and she wasn’t sure which dream to hold onto.
Country star?
Starting a life with an amazing horse rancher?
“I’ll call you first thing tomorrow, I swear.” Sadie hung up and twisted to Royce. She could see all the questions in his eyes. If only she knew how to answer them.
“It was my agent. A record exec from Belle Meade wants me to go sing for her this weekend.” She swallowed. “It’s…well, it’s unbelievable, really. But I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to leave you in the lurch with the ranch.”
The ranch? Why’d she start with that?
Because she was being a chicken. Things between them felt fragile and new, one breath away from tipping one way or the other. Another few weeks and they’d be head over boots in love, settled into a pattern.
Or maybe she was the only one falling all over again, thoughts about the future starting to whisper at her.
Sadie bit her thumbnail. “And of course it’s not just about the ranch. You and I…” Her heart beat against her rib cage. “I’ve had such an amazing time this past week.”
“Yeah, it’s been nice.” He grabbed his clothes and started pulling them on, his movements quick and precise, his attention focused on the motion. “Don’t worry about the ranch. We’ll be fine.”
She quickly dressed and then stood up and caught his arm. “Royce. Wait. We need to talk about this.”
He sighed, put both of his hands on her shoulders, and kissed her, one soft press of his lips. “There’s nothing to talk about. It’s a second chance with your music, just like we were discussing earlier. You’ve got to go.”
He snuffed out the fire, gathered the equipment, and untied the horses. Then he got onto Thor. Sadie wanted to tell him to slow down and give her a damn minute to try to figure out everything, but she didn’t have it figured out, and she wasn’t sure that she could say she didn’t have to leave.
Shit, shit, shit.
When they got back to the barn, they unsaddled the horses and put them in their stalls. Royce checked in on Chevy and Shadow as Sadie watched on. He moved to put away the bridles, and Chevy hung her head over the stall, begging for her head to be rubbed with a soft neigh. Sadie ran her hand down the mama horse’s nose and watched as her filly wobbled around between her legs. They felt like her horses, too, and suddenly she couldn’t imagine leaving them right now. Chevy was still recovering, and what if the baby needed extra attention?
And what about Duke? She glanced back at his stall. One ride wasn’t enough for them to get to know each other the way she’d planned.
Then there was Royce… Yearning and worry pressed against her lungs as she watched him move around the barn, now onto positioning the saddles just so.
If she left, who was going to remind him to slow down and take a break once in a while? To get into water fights, sing in the truck, and race on horseback to the river?
Everything was happening too fast, and panic over making the wrong decision filled her up until it was impossible to breathe.
Finally, Royce turned around and she placed herself in front of him so he couldn’t ignore her anymore.
“Royce.”
He stared down at her, his expression unreadable.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. For a moment it was like hugging a log, but then he gave in and hugged her back. His clothes were cool from being outside, he smelled like grass and cologne, and as she listened to his heart beating under her ear, she couldn’t imagine ever letting go. “Maybe…maybe I should just say no. It’s not really a good time for me to leave.”
“For what? To stay here?” He shook his head and laughed, a hollow sound that made pain radiate through her chest. “Sadie, we agreed this was just a fun thing while you were here. I guess I should’ve made it clearer before, but…I’m not looking for a serious relationship.” He turned and rattled the gate like he was checking to see if it was latched and then glanced at her. “So don’t be stupid—you’d be crazy to turn down an opportunity like that.”
If she could talk past the lump rising in her throat, she’d tell him that she wasn’t stupid.
Apparently she was just unrealistically optimistic. Maybe that was the same thing as being stupid, though. She’d thought he’d felt the same. That they were both falling together. All this time she worried she’d accidentally hurt him again, and he was the one breaking her heart. But he was also right. What was she going to do? Turn down a contract opportunity with Belle Meade? To work on a horse ranch with a guy she could never fully have?
“Morning will be here too soon, and I’ve got a lot on my plate tomorrow. I better turn in.” Royce reached out like he was going to put his hand on her back, and then quickly dropped it. “I’ll walk you to your truck.”
Their footsteps against the hard dirt of the driveway sounded so loud in the quiet.
Were they really going to leave things like this?
“Aren’t we at least friends anymore?” she asked, her voice just above a whisper.
Royce reached over her and opened the truck door. “Of course. We’ll always be friends. So you can, you know, call or whatever to tell me how the meeting goes if you want to. Or I guess I’ll hear it through the town grapevine.”
She wanted to scream that friends didn’t learn things about each other through the stupid-ass town grapevine!
Sheer force of will was all that was holding back the tears. “I’ll be back for the rodeo, so I can tell you myself—I already committed to singing, and then I can say good-bye to the kids before they all return to their homes.”
“I’m sure the kids and the town would understand if you canceled.”
“Well, I wouldn’t be okay with that. I’ve gotten too attached.”
The way he was staring at the ground, the
brim of his hat covering his eyes, made it impossible to tell if he’d even had a reaction to that.
“So I’ll see you at the rodeo,” she said. “And if I don’t get a chance to tell you before your events, good luck.”
“Yeah, you, too. With the singing.”
A tear slipped down her cheek—so much for her force of will. She leaned in and kissed his lips, a quick peck that was nowhere near worthy of being a good-bye kiss.
But Royce certainly didn’t bother making it anything more.
Chapter Fifteen
“Addison. Eli.” Royce had given the rest of the kids their instructions and sent them on their way. At the sound of their names, they flinched—he also noticed they’d been holding hands, but quickly let go. “You’ve got five days to prove to me that I can trust you. If you work hard and there are no more incidents, you can go to the rodeo.”
“Really?” Addison squealed, and Royce smiled despite himself.
At the feel of a hand on his arm, he turned to find Mom beaming at him. Apparently she approved.
“Make me regret it, and I’ll take it away in an instant. Don’t think I won’t.”
Eli looked around. “Where’s Sadie? She’s the one who talked you into the rodeo, isn’t she?”
Her name sent stabbing pain through Royce. Working to keep his face neutral, he nodded. “Now, go get to work so you’ll be done in time to ride to the river.”
“Yes, sir,” Eli said, not even an ounce of sarcasm in the words. He grabbed Addison’s hand, and Royce was about to say something about it, but he let it go. He just didn’t have the energy to get on them for a relatively innocent gesture.
“Where is Sadie?” Mom asked, glancing toward the empty spot her truck usually occupied.
“Gone.”
Mom’s eyebrows drew together. “Gone?”
Royce clenched his jaw and breathed out his nose, trying to counteract the way his chest tightened. Their conversation last night about her leaving had left him raw and exhausted in ways that sleep couldn’t fix. He’d been sure Sadie was going to see through him—see how much he was tempted to beg her to stay. Every time she talked about music, though, he saw it—she wasn’t going to be happy giving up on it. It’d been there in her voice last night, and he’d seen the longing on her face during that phone call. So he’d forced away thoughts of the future he dreamed of having with her and pushed her as hard as he could, not wanting to be a decision she later regretted. She’d had to go and draw out the good-bye, making it so damn hard to hold back his emotions. That tear that’d run down her cheek at the end had nearly killed him, and watching her drive away had made him ache in muscles he didn’t even realize he had.
