by Cindi Madsen
Sadie heaved her suitcase into the trunk. “I can’t wait until I can make odd diva demands. Like no brown M&M’s. Who wants to eat boring-colored candy?”
They got into the car, and Quinn said, “And you should get that, like, super-snooty water and demand exotic flowers for your dressing rooms.”
“But I’ll always keep my fans in mind and do big signings for them, because I’ll never forget they’re what’s really important.”
“Of course.” Quinn glanced over her shoulder and then hit the gas pedal, shooting them into traffic. “I’m so proud of you—I always knew it’d happen.”
“Thanks.”
“Uh-oh.” Quinn glanced at her. “Thanks? Not, ‘OMG, I’m so happy I’m gonna start singing and dancing and there’s gonna be fireworks later’?”
Sadie glanced at the ceiling, swearing under her breath. How could more tears be trying to come out?
“Spill it.”
“All I can think about is Royce. His stupid handsome face and the ranch and the horses and the way he makes me feel.” Sadie leaned forward and placed her forehead on the dashboard. She sniffed and then said, “In case you were wondering, even the dashboard of this thing is comfy.”
“Great, because I hope I have lots of clients who feel the need to fling themselves on it.” Quinn put her hand on Sadie’s back. “I hate to state the obvious here, but I think you should talk to Royce. You’re clearly in love with him.”
“Yeah, but I was in love with him in high school, too, and in the end, it didn’t matter.” The familiar ache dug its claws into her chest, gripping her heart tighter. “We want different things—I even tried to tell him how I feel, that maybe I could stay, and he told me that he was only on board to have fun for a while. That he wasn’t interested in a serious relationship. I think I broke him. Broke us.” She wiped at a tear that ran down her face. “It’s really over.”
“I’m sorry, babe.”
Sadie popped up so fast she knocked into Quinn’s outstretched arm. “And it’s so frustrating, because I should be happy! There should be fireworks! I think it just hasn’t hit me yet that the recording contract’s real. We went over all the ins and outs, and Nolan called me this morning to say they’d emailed it to him. He wanted to go over it, and then he’ll overnight it to me to sign.” She nodded. “It’ll feel real then. I’ll be more excited, I swear.”
Sadie bit her lip. “Except for, you know, I can’t stop asking myself if I really want to dye my hair red and deal with extensions again and be on a diet for the rest of my life. Or tone down what’s actually unique about my voice and live so far away from all my family and friends. But I’ll be on the road a lot if it goes well, anyway, so…”
“Well, do you?” Quinn glanced at her. “Do you want those things?”
“A thousand people would take my spot right now.”
“That’s not a real answer.”
“You sound just like your dad.”
Quinn gasped and shoved her, and despite Sadie’s gloomy mood, she laughed. Then she looked at her best friend and the damn waterworks started all over again. “I think my dream changed somewhere along the way. I do want to sing, I just don’t know in what capacity anymore. I don’t know if I can give up this opportunity and live with myself, though—I know I can’t give it up for a maybe.”
They still had a half an hour left in their drive, and Sadie didn’t want to think about those things anymore—she knew the rodeo tomorrow night would be hard enough as it was. “Time for a subject change. Tell me something interesting.”
Quinn told off a driver who’d cut in front of her only to slow down, and then went around the car. “Okay, subject change… Oh, I know! Guess what I just found out? The Mountain Ridge Bed and Breakfast might be going up for sale.”
“Yeah, I heard that.”
Quinn whipped her head toward Sadie. “And you didn’t tell me?”
“Well, I thought a deal for someone else to buy it was already in the works.”
“So? Do you know what I do for a living? I destroy other deals so that I can get the properties I want, and I’ve wanted that property since I was a little girl. I’ve already instructed the town committee to let me know when it’s going on the market.”
“Then what? You’re going to update it and run a B and B?”
The corner of Quinn’s mouth lifted, and she got that glint in her eye that meant she was starting to calculate a plan. “Yes. And it’s gonna be the best damn B and B ever.”
Chapter Seventeen
Trying to get everyone ready for the rodeo was pretty much organized madness, and it made Royce question if it was a good idea all over again. Mom’s friend Sheila had come over with her van to help transport the teens, and she and Mom reassured him the kids were good and that they could handle them.
Still, Royce worried one of the teens would leave the stands under the pretense of getting a snow cone or going to the bathroom and end up sneaking off—or worse, a pair of them would disappear together. There was trust, and then there was realizing they were teenagers.
Chevy whickered at him as he walked by with Thor, and he paused to pat her head. “You know I’d take you with me normally.” He glanced at the big black quarter horse by his side. “No offense, Thor.”
Shadow bounced over to Chevy and darted around her mother’s legs. Because his mind was determined to torture him lately, it chose to flash back to the night he and Sadie spent down in the straw, delivering the foal. If Sadie hadn’t driven over, he wondered if he would’ve been able to calm Chevy down by himself. He doubted it.
Without her at the ranch the past few days, work was piling up again, threatening to crush him. Finding a replacement who was as well equipped to handle both the horses and the kids was going to be impossible. He knew all too well there was no such thing as replacing Sadie Hart. And now he was going to have to face her one last time before she took off again.
He sucked in a deep breath and then loaded Thor into the trailer and double-checked that he had all of his roping gear.
“You ready?” Cory asked as they climbed into the cab of the truck.
I probably should’ve prepared for the bronc riding better. Hold on. That was the most important part. He could fudge the rest. “Ready as I’ll ever be. It’s just a small-town rodeo anyway, right?”
“Yeah, if you leave out the part where your ex-girlfriend is singing the national anthem and the entire population of that small town will be looking on to see what’s going on between you two.”
The engine growled to life as Royce turned the key. “Thanks for that.”
“No problem,” Cory said with a grin.
As he drove toward the rodeo grounds, though, Royce knew he wasn’t ready to see Sadie again. That he’d never be, even if it was also the thing he craved more than anything in the world.
…
“What does a panic attack feel like?” Sadie called down the stairs. “Because I’m pretty sure I’m having one.”
Quinn was at the bottom talking to Grandpa, most likely about the weather or the big city or who knew what? Sadie was too busy having a panic attack.
“I’ll talk to you later, Mr. Manning,” Quinn said, flashing Grandpa a grin before rushing up the stairs.
Sadie waved a hand in front of her face, hoping cool air would help. “My heart is racing and I can’t breathe and my skin is too big and too small at the same time.”
Quinn placed her hands on Sadie’s shoulders. “Which thing are we panicking about? Singing at the rodeo? Seeing Royce? The contract that came FedEx this afternoon?”
Sadie’s hummingbird heartbeat kicked it up a notch. “Yes. But I figure I should focus on deciding what to wear first. I ain’t singing the national anthem in my yoga pants.”
Nearly every piece of clothing she owned was on her bed. Her skinny jeans reminded her that she’d gained weight she needed to lose, but she had plenty of other nice jeans with varying designs on the pockets, everything from swirls to
fleurs-de-lis to flowers—all with rhinestones, of course. But then she decided maybe she should wear a skirt or dress, and then she’d picked up the pen to sign her contract, and then her pulse had hammered through her head, so she’d gone back to the pile of clothes, only to decide she had nothing to wear.
Quinn picked up a pair of super-short fringed shorts and raised an eyebrow.
“Those are from high school. I pulled them out when I thought I might have something better in my old clothes. I didn’t.”
The shorts got tossed off to the side.
“I’m actually nervous to sing, too, for some reason. I mean, I’ve sung in front of large audiences before. I have a singing contract waiting for me to sign. Why am I suddenly sure I’m going to choke again? Or forget the words?” Sadie started running them over in her head.
“Hey, if Christina Aguilera can do it and survive, so can you.” Quinn turned and then her smile dropped. “That was supposed to cheer you up, not make you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Sadie nodded. “Oh. Right.” Her head just kept on nodding, like it forgot how to stop.
“Going in and out of the arena in a skirt might get tricky, so…” Quinn tapped a finger to her lips. “Casual but sexy.” She grabbed a pair of distressed denim jeans with silver thread and rhinestones on the pockets. “About to be famous.” Her hand skimmed along the tops, and then she picked out the coral sleeveless one with cream lace and beading along the neckline. “With a side of eat your heart out, stupid idiot who doesn’t want a relationship.”
Quinn thrust it all at her. “Add your boots with the flowers and a nice big belt…” She dug through the pile and came out with one. “Now, get dressed. You’re going to rock this, and you’re gonna look super hot doing it.”
A little more than thirty minutes later, Sadie, Quinn, Grandma, Grandpa, and Mom were seated in a prime spot in the grandstands, up front where Sadie could easily get out when it was time for her to sing. Her foot took on a life of its own, tapping faster and faster the more people arrived. When Sadie spotted Caroline, Sheila, and the kids from Second Chance Ranch toward the top of the bleachers in the next section over, she excused herself to go say hello.
Eli waved as she approached. “Sadie! Hey!” He stood and grinned as she made her way up the last few bleachers. She wasn’t sure if they were supposed to refrain from hugging the kids, but she figured she didn’t work there anymore, so it didn’t matter. She squeezed Eli tightly, surprised at how much she hated the thought of never seeing him again. Or any of the rest of the kids, for that matter.
So she hugged them all, and then turned to Caroline, who didn’t waste any time pulling Sadie into her arms. “It’s good to see you, hon. We all missed you.” Caroline drew back and looked Sadie in the eye. “All of us. Even if one of us refuses to say it.”
I’m not gonna cry, I’m not gonna cry. “I missed you all, too.”
“So…how’d the—was it an audition—go?”
“It went really well. They want me to sign a contract and record an album!” The enthusiasm shouldn’t have been so hard to fake, but bless Caroline, she congratulated her with a big smile on her face. She’d claimed Royce missed her, too, but, even if it were true, Sadie needed more than missing.
I need him to love me the way I love him.
Sadie’s phone rang, and she stepped away to take the call.
“We need you down here now,” Patsy Higgins said. “Are you ready to sing?”
Sadie nodded and then realized Patsy couldn’t see her—well, since she was setting up the microphone at the front of the area and Sadie could see her, it might be possible, but the nodding was probably hard to make out. “I’ll be right there.”
…
The horses were ready. The gear was good to go. Royce and Cory were signed in and had their numbers pinned on. Everything was set. The bleachers and grandstands were full, most of the people from Hope Springs there, as well as plenty of others from nearby towns, here to compete and watch.
Even though Royce hadn’t done any competing since last year’s Fourth of July rodeo, he wasn’t nervous—not about the roping or riding, anyway. As Sadie walked to the middle of the arena, though, microphone in hand, nerves jumped around in his gut, and his heart beat like it meant to come right out of his chest.
Her hair was curled in big waves that framed her pretty face, she had on a bright-colored top that shimmered in the sunlight along with the big sparkly earrings she wore, and she had on blessedly tight rhinestoned jeans.
Earlier, when Patsy Higgins had passed by, he’d heard her going on and on about how Sadie had a big music contract now, and proudly declaring she’d always known it’d happen. He’d known it, too, but it didn’t stop his heart from sinking as the hope he thought he’d already snuffed out completely disappeared.
“Hi, everybody,” Sadie said into the microphone, flashing the audience a giant grin as she waved. “It’s been so long since I’ve been to a rodeo, and I’m crazy excited to get started. Are y’all ready for this?”
The crowd erupted in applause, shouts, and whistles, and Sadie’s grin widened.
She shone out there in the spotlight. Once again, it hit him that he had to let her go. He knew—through experience—that he could survive it. Which was how he knew that without her in his life, it’d always be a little less colorful, slightly boring… The spot between his ribs ached. A lot more empty.
Sometimes he wished he didn’t know that, but as he watched her take the centering moment she always did before she started a song, he decided that he didn’t regret having had another chance to be around her. Or the amazing nights they’d had together.
The microphone neared her full lips—lips covered in a shade of lipstick that nearly matched her shirt—and then she started singing the anthem. Just her, that amazing voice, the spellbound audience, and the energy crackling through the air.
He pushed the hand he had over his heart a little harder, wishing it’d stop the longing pumping through it. As soon as she finished, he decided that he’d say something when she passed by to go back to the grandstands. They needed a real good-bye, and he wanted to tell her congratulations on her singing career taking off, even if it’d kill him a little to say it aloud because it made it that much more real.
The sound of clanging metal and a neigh mixed with swearing and yelling caught his attention. A horse was rearing up, and one of the other contestants—a teenage boy—was struggling to get control of the horse. Royce ducked though the fence separating them and caught the reins of the animal, talking calmly with a hand on its neck until it settled down.
“You okay?” Royce asked, and the cowboy nodded, red creeping into his face. “It’s okay. Happens to the best of us from time to time.”
“Thanks,” the kid said.
Royce nodded and turned, his thoughts on Sadie.
Only she’d already passed by and was heading up the bleachers to sit with her family.
…
“You did great!” Grandma said, hugging Sadie. Grandpa patted her shoulder and Mom squeezed her hand.
Quinn slung her arm over Sadie’s shoulders as she settled into her seat. “When you’re big and famous, I’m going to constantly tell everyone I’m your best friend. Like, perfect strangers will just be walking by, and I’ll stop them to tell them.”
Sadie forced her lips into a smile, and Quinn raised an eyebrow, clearly seeing through it. “It’s okay,” Sadie said. “I just wanna enjoy the rodeo. But tonight I want you to come over while I pack, and I need you to bring the strongest alcohol you can get your hands on.”
Quinn nodded but hugged her a little tighter. When Sadie had seen Royce standing near the exit, all decked out in a dressy black hat, blue-and-black plaid shirt, and chaps, longing had filled every inch of her body. She’d anticipated walking by and at least saying hi and good luck. She desperately needed some kind of closure, even though she knew that wasn’t really possible when it came to her and Royce.
But he’d left as soon as she headed toward him. Which was either anger or a level of indifference she couldn’t bear thinking of. Every inch of her ached, and she couldn’t wait until tonight when she could numb herself from it all for a while. She didn’t want to think about how bad the following days would be, or how long it’d take to stop crying every time she thought of him.
When the steer roping started, she sat up a little straighter. Despite Royce’s explanation about why they did the event, she still cheered for most of the cows to get away—or at least take a while to be caught, so Royce would have extra seconds to work with. She noticed things she’d never noticed before, like the way the horse immediately pulled back when the steer was roped—and the ones who didn’t. How fast they burst out of the gate. The disqualifiers, from the horse breaking the barrier or the ropes being kicked loose. She could call it before it came over the loud speakers.
Then the announcer said Royce’s name. It hung in the air as her vision tunneled to the spot where he was setting up. At his signal, a black steer shot into the arena, and then Royce and Thor came barreling out after it. A couple swings from the lasso and then Royce launched the rope, catching the cow’s head. In one smooth movement he was off Thor, flipping the cow and binding its feet. He threw up his hands and Sadie stared at the scoreboard. They waited the extra time to ensure he’d tied it tight enough it couldn’t kick loose, and when Royce’s steer remained bound, the red numbers lit up.
Nine point two seconds.
The audience erupted in cheers. All of the other contenders had been in the fourteen- to twenty-second range. They did another round, and by the end, no surprise, Royce was the winner. As he sat perched on top of one of the gates and waved to the crowd, Sadie suddenly got this image of him next to Chevy and Shadow with a little cowboy who looked like him and a little cowgirl who looked like her by his side. She closed her eyes and fell into the image, putting herself next to them and the horses. Kissing Royce as their kids ran around the yard of the ranch.
The feeling that washed over her was the same one she used to get when she thought of herself onstage in a sold-out arena, preparing to sing one of the hits from her debut album.
