by J. B. Havens
The engagement ring he’d bought her was burning a hole in his pocket. He’d been stressing for weeks over how and when he should ask her to marry him. His friends had peppered him with suggestions from the sickly-sweet romantic to the corniest and most inane ideas they could come up with. However, nothing had sounded right to him.
After humbling himself, he’d had a long conversation with Jeremiah over a few beers the other night and had come up with a plan. Today, he would execute that plan. He’d been on countless missions during his career in the Army, but he didn’t remember being this nervous before any of them.
Today, he’d woken up even earlier than normal, too nervous to sleep. He’d taken great pleasure in wearing Willow out last night, twice, hoping she’d sleep in. Not that making love to her was a hardship by any means. He swore every time was better than the last, and he was pretty sure his brain was going to short-circuit one of these days and he would just keel over from an overload of the ecstasy he found in her arms and body.
After finishing his preparations in the kitchen, he tip-toed to their bedroom to check on Willow. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw she was still passed out, naked and sprawled on her stomach, taking up the middle of the bed now that he wasn’t in it. Her beautiful, long hair, that was well past her shoulders now, was draped across her face, and she was snoring softly. Grinning, he left the letter he’d written on the bedside table, propped up on one of the first succulents he’d sent her and right beside the framed picture of his parents and sister.
Now, he just needed to wait.
Shit, I think I’m going to puke.
Willow awoke in small degrees, smacking her lips and groaning. Damn, she was sleeping like the dead lately. She knew the reason behind her exhaustion but was still trying to think of the best way to tell Nathan. Plus, he’d been the reason she’d gone to sleep very late last night—making love to her once in their shared shower and then again immediately afterward in bed. The man had mythical level stamina sometimes, not that she was complaining.
Going to sleep with wet, sex-mussed hair had been a terrible idea, she thought as she shoved the tangled mess off her face. Blinking open her bleary eyes, she noticed a folded piece of paper, with “Wannabe” scrawled in Nathan’s handwriting on the front, propped against her plant. “Hmm, weird,” she mumbled. Maybe he had an early errand?
Lifting herself up on one elbow, she grabbed the note and opened it.
Dear Wannabe,
A special something has been planned for you today. But first, breakfast is ready—drink your coffee and eat your bagel. (Don’t cheat and skip that step!)
When you’re done, Lucy’s best friend will have the next instructions for you to follow.
Now, hurry and follow my clues, if you want to keep me from having the blues . . .
XOXO,
Nathan
Grinning, she dressed quickly, brushed her teeth, quickly ran a brush through her hair, wincing when it got caught on a few knots, and hurried to the kitchen. Sitting in her cat bed was Ethel, wearing a red bow tied around her pink collar with an attached scroll. “Oh my God! What is that crazy man up to, Ethel?”
After wolfing down her waiting bagel and coffee, she untied the bow from Ethel and unraveled the scroll.
Wannabe,
You’ve had your food and drink, so come and find us next before we fall into a ring of fire. We have a love like them . . .
XOXO,
Nathan
“Holy shit balls, Ethel! It’s Johnny and June!” Willow exclaimed, but the feline just blinked at her and then went back to cleaning her paws. Clearly her cat wasn’t excited as she was. “For a man who claims to hate country music, he can sure quote it, huh?”
Pulling on her muck boots, coat, and hat, Willow raced to the barn. The dogs began barking like mad as soon as they spotted her. Dale was nowhere to be seen, which was unusual, but a quick look around confirmed the morning chores had been done. The alpacas were out in their pasture, eating their hay.
Willow felt like a kid on Christmas morning as she entered the barn.
“Johnny, June, c’mere guys,” she coaxed, noticing another scroll, this time around June’s neck. When the dogs rushed over to her, she patted their heads, earning her some licks and nuzzling, before untying the scroll.
Wannabe,
Retrace your steps.
Go back to the beginning, to the place where your lips first touched mine. There you’ll find another couple lines . . .
XOXO,
Nathan
She had just enough sense to make sure the barn door latched behind her as she sprinted for the driveway and her truck. Her grin wouldn’t quit, and her heart was racing. She couldn’t keep a thought in her head beyond where she needed to go next. Coming to an abrupt stop beside her truck, she jerked open the driver’s door and found another scroll, this one resting on the driver’s seat. Sliding the red ribbon off, she unrolled it.
Wannabe,
With your words, I fell. With your kisses, I burned. With your touch, I shattered. Now, turn around, baby, so I can ask you . . .
Whirling around, Willow gasped when saw Nathan behind her, down on one knee in the snow, holding a small black box open.
A squeal escaped her before she found her voice. “Holy shit! Oh my God! Holy shit, Nathan! What are you . . . Oh my God!” She jumped up and down, happiness exploding within her, making her hands shake so hard she could hardly hold onto the stack of notes. Tears of joy blurred her vision, and she swiped them away with her hand.
He looked more nervous than she’d ever seen him. Sweat dotted his handsome face and brow, despite the frigid February temperatures, and his hands trembled almost as badly as hers. “Willow, the day I received that letter from you was the day my world brightened for the first time in years. You gave me something to live for, something to fight to get back to. I want to spend the rest of our lives fighting for each other, building a life together. I want to make love to you, argue with you just so we can make up, and adopt more animals with clever names. And when you’re ready, I want to start a family with you. Will you marry me?”
Dropping to her knees in front of him, she clasped his hands, ring box and all. Her watery gaze met his. “Yes! Yes, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be your wife and wake up next to you every day. But there’s something else you need to know before you put that ring on me.” She wiped new tears from her cheeks, smiling through them.
“Willow, what . . . I’m . . .” Seeming to not be able to help himself, he took her mouth in a deep kiss. “Baby, you’re killing me here.”
“We should probably hold off on adopting any more animals because I’m ready to start that family. In fact, it’s already on its way.”
He blinked at her owlishly, in surprise and shock, and then an indescribable expression of jubilation broke over his features. “You’re pregnant? We—we’re having a baby?”
Grinning, she nodded. “The shot failed. My doctor says it happens sometimes.”
“I’m going to be a dad?” Not waiting for another confirmation, he threw his arms around her and pulled her close, burying his face in her neck. “God . . . Willow, I love you.”
He lifted his head and stared at her, clearly overcome with the emotions coursing through him. Tears fell from both their eyes. The moment was so perfect and precious, she thought her heart would give out from the sheer joy of it. “I love you too. Based on how far along the doctor said I am, it happened when you were here for New Year’s.” She brushed the tears from his cheeks and kissed him softly, pouring all her love for him into her actions.
“Woman, next time I try to surprise you, can you maybe not steal my thunder?” Nathan said, helping her stand, but not releasing his hold on her. His sappy grin told her he was just teasing her. “Dale and I already did the chores, so you and I have the rest of the day with nothing to do but spend it together.” Bending down, he picked up the ring box that’d gotten dropped at some point d
uring their celebration. “Take your glove off, baby.”
Doing as he asked, she tugged her left glove free and stuffed it into her coat pocket. Holding her hand out for him, she watched as he slipped the ring onto her finger. The diamond was set flush into a white gold band, a practical setting that wouldn’t catch on anything while she did chores around the ranch. “I know you can’t wear this all the time, so I was thinking after the wedding, we could get our wedding bands tattooed on, but I wanted you to have this too.” Kissing the ring where it rested on her finger, he met her eyes. “I love you more every day I spend with you. And now, we’ll have a child to love too. You’ve made me the happiest man in the world, and I hope I can make you even half as happy as you’ve made me.”
“You already have, Nathan, you already have.” Cupping his face in her hands, she brought his mouth to hers for another deep kiss. After a few delicious moments, she pulled away and smiled. “Now take me to bed—I’m cold and I need my fiancé to warm me up.”
“My pleasure.” With a broad grin, he swept her up into his arms and carried her into their home, into a future that was looking bright indeed.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Dear Willow,
If you’re reading this, it means I’ve passed and you’re at Skyview. You have the letters now and, with them, our history. With all my heart, I wish I’d had the guts to come and meet you. I bet you’re beautiful, just like your mother. Time and distance did nothing to temper the love I held for her. She was all that was good and bright in this world, and when I received word of her death, I gave up. I’m ashamed to admit that, but in the back of my head, I’d always hoped that, maybe one day, fate would be kind to us and allow us to have a life together. Once I learned it was no longer possible, I had my will changed, leaving you this ranch. It isn’t much, but I hope you’ll have the means to create the legacy you want for your own children, whatever it might be.
Two months ago, I was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer. The doctors tell me I only have a few weeks left in this world. I’ve taken care of as many details as I can think of, so you won’t have to. My lawyer, Howard Smith, is a fair man that you can trust with helping you navigate the transfer of the estate. If you need anything else, your new neighbor, Jeremiah Urban, is also a good man, but don’t tell him I told you that. He embarrasses too easily. He doesn’t give himself enough credit, but I hope he might be a friend to you.
Many see my diagnosis as a death sentence, but I see it as something more. I will finally be able to be with my beloved Cherry again. Treatment would just prolong the agony, and I don’t want to die like that. I want to go quickly. I’m in a hurry, you see. I’ve spent a lifetime without half my heart and soul, and I’m eager to be reunited with her.
Having never known me in life, I don’t want to subject you to watching me take my final breaths. You might think of me as selfish for leaving this world without meeting you, but as I told your mother in one of my letters, I don’t deserve you. I didn’t want your only memories of me to be of a broken, miserable bastard on his deathbed. My letters to your mother show a different man than the rest of this town knew—the man I wish I could’ve been for you. Someone you could’ve looked up to. Don’t be surprised if no one has a kind word to say about me, because I wasn’t worthy of any.
I hope this ranch and this land bring you the peace and happiness that always eluded me. Fate and circumstances weren’t kind to me, but I pray they are to you. My advice, Willow, be happy. If you see the chance for it, don’t let it go. Hold onto it with both hands and fight for it with every ounce of courage I didn’t have. You deserve it. All I’ve ever wanted, other than your mother, is for you to have the life I never had. I allowed shame, anger, and regret to make me a bitter, cruel man. Be better than I was.
I love you—I always have. Be true to yourself and don’t let others dictate who you should love. And tell whoever wins your heart to be good to you, or I’ll come back and haunt them.
With all the love I was never able to show you,
Your Father
Willow wiped her watery eyes, then folded the letter and slid it back into its envelope, which she placed on top of the others in the ornate cherry box she still kept them in. She’d finally gotten the courage that morning to look at the letter Jason had addressed to her, and this was the second time she’d read it in as many hours—third, actually, if she included when she’d recited it out loud to Nathan over breakfast.
She softly closed the lid until she heard the little snick. Setting it on a little, round table next to her, she used her foot to start the double-seat swing moving. They had two of them now—one on the side porch and one on the back deck where she was now. Nathan was in the kitchen behind her, cleaning up from the breakfast he’d insisted on cooking for her before kicking her out the backdoor to rest. He’d been the stereotypical first time-father-to-be, not letting her do things he deemed too strenuous or too exhausting for her. On one hand, it drove her crazy, while on the other, it made her feel cherished.
Ethel jumped up on the swing and rubbed her face against Willow’s swollen belly, purring loudly. She had five weeks left before her due date, and it couldn’t come fast enough for her. She was ready to walk without waddling and being out of breath, not to mention see her feet again. As her pregnancy had progressed, she’d had to stop doing a few things she’d grown to love, including helping Dale and Shane with barn chores and riding her horse, Poppy, a Palomino with a white blaze down her nose. The gentle mare had become Willow’s favorite since arriving at the ranch with most of the other animals, but she hadn’t been able to climb up into the saddle for the past two months. She was certain Poppy missed their riding time as much as she did.
Who would’ve thought a pink-haired, tattooed chick, with a nose stud and nipple rings, from Philadelphia would turn into an alpaca rancher in small town in Wyoming with less than a thousand people living there? Certainly not Willow. But there was no denying this was where she belonged—this had been her destiny, even if it’d taken her thirty-three years to find it.
She touched the simple silver and black band that encircled her left ring finger. With all the work they did around the ranch, they’d decided to get their wedding bands tattooed on, not wanting to catch any actual rings on the various equipment. But Willow’s OB/GYN had advised her to wait until after the baby was born and no longer breastfeeding. Nathan had insisted on getting his right away though and had purchased the band for Willow to wear to ensure everyone—meaning every guy—knew she was taken. As if her round belly wasn’t already a sign. For now, she’d gotten into the habit of putting the ring on a chain around her neck whenever she was doing something that it might get caught on.
The small alpaca herd was thriving and had welcomed five newborns about three months ago. The babies would eventually be sold, since they couldn’t be bred with Alfie, their father, and Willow had no doubt she would cry when the time came. While she knew the animals weren’t pets, she’d grown attached to each of them as their personalities had emerged.
Nathan and Willow had been discussing with Dale the possibility of adding another male and several females to the herd next year. Willow was also looking forward to the first shearing at Skyview Ranch next month, but Nathan had warned her she would have to watch from the sidelines—that is if she didn’t go into labor before that. Dale had already arranged for a professional shearer to come help him and Nathan remove the fleece from the animals, so it could be sold.
The alpaca ranching community had embraced their new members at a recent event Willow and Nathan had attended in Cheyenne with the Brodericks and Dale. No one had cared that the two were greenhorns, and they’d become friends with quite a few people that weekend.
Their garden was flourishing, and Willow was even researching canning. Nathan kept sneaking the cherry tomatoes off the vine and eating them. He refused to admit he was the culprit and complained they almost never had any for their salads, but he only had himself to blame.
Willow would just stare at him and not say a word, both of them knowing he was the thief and not the rabbits or prairie dogs.
They’d had a going away party for Cody Moore last week. As his high school graduation had approached, he’d been struggling with what he wanted to do afterward. At first, he’d been planning to go to college but hadn’t known what he wanted to major in. After spending a lot of time talking to Nathan about the Army though, the young man had decided to enlist. He’d left for bootcamp a few days ago with the promise he’d email or write to everyone when he got the chance.
It seemed as if Andrew was finally out of her life for good. He hadn’t called or made an appearance since the sheriff had arrested him. He’d been released on his own recognizance with a fine the next day, and Grady had advised him to get his ass out of Wyoming and never come back. She had no idea where her ex was or what he was up to, and honestly, she didn’t care. Okay, maybe she cared just a little because, while she wanted nothing to do with him, she did hope he hadn’t been hurt or killed by whoever he owed money to. After all, she had been married to him, and she wasn’t so callous that she wished him harm.
The screen door opened, and Nathan strode out, carrying a mug and a small gift bag. He handed her the coffee—decaf no doubt—and kissed the top of her head as he ran his hand through her long pink hair. The coloring was temporary, and safe for the baby, and had been her idea for the gender reveal. She’d known they were having a girl since she’d been four months along, but Nathan had waffled back and forth about whether he wanted to be told or not. When he realized he couldn’t paint the nursery in the colors Willow wanted without figuring out if they were having a boy or girl, he’d finally agreed she could tell him. The alternative had been to allow her to paint the walls herself, but that had been a no-go for him.
