by Zane
HERE I AM
The tears streamed down my face as I sat in a tub of water so hot, it had reddened my skin. I wasn’t ashamed of how I’d performed for Harrison at the parade; I was mad at the world, for being lonely. Confused as to why his mere presence weakened my defenses, replacing them with primal vulnerability. The Merlot that had settled in fine crystal now flowed across the wooden floor. Deep red wine with a quality so pure, it could’ve been mistaken for blood. The glass I had flung was wedding crystal. My fury caused it to shatter against the bathroom wall. Beauty defiled to broken fragments. I stared at a jagged edge from one of the pieces alongside the tub. The enchantment I felt from Harrison between my legs had turned to numbness.
Solemnly, I picked the piece of glass up from the floor. I trailed it steadily against my wrist, then my hand began to shake. The glass fell from my wet fingers into the water.
“Damn you!” I screamed, splashing water to the ceiling. I exhaled and slowly reclined back against the tub. I let the water cover me to the neck, as I tried to calm my emotions. The tightness and tension in my upper body began to lessen, but a faint knock at the door suddenly roused fear.
“Who’s there!” I screamed as I straightened my posture. I had one leg out of the tub, trying to step cautiously.
“Miss Jasmine, it’s Harrison. I didn’t mean to scare ya.”
Relieved that I recognized the voice, I found a safe place to plant my feet, and exited the tub. Water dripping from my body, I tried to figure out how to step around the glass to get to the towel draped against the vanity. “How’d you get in here?” I asked, shivering.
“The door was unlocked.”
“Well, that’s news to me, but you wouldn’t have known it was unlocked, unless you tried it. What do you want?”
“Can I come in?”
“I’m not decent.”
I heard a soft chuckle. “Let me decide that for myself. Can I come in, Miss Jasmine?”
I didn’t protest, which obviously was his cue to open the creaking door slightly. He peered in, observing me with my hands strategically placed over my private areas.
“Whatcha tryin’ to hide, huh?” I looked down to the floor as he approached, glass crumbling under his dusty work boots. “I’ve seen and tasted your sweetness, lady.” He pulled my hands down. “There ain’t no shame in that.” He lifted my chin up.
“What’s all this glass doin’ on the floor?”
I shrugged. “I had an accident, is all.”
His hand gently smoothed over a wave of my damp hair. “You all right?”
My lip quivered as I recalled what he’d said to me, our first meeting at the mission.
“Don’t ask a question you don’t wanna hear the answer to.”
He grabbed the towel and took care in drying me off. “You grown, and you don’t owe me no explanation.” He smiled as he eased the towel between my thighs, then secured it with a tuck under my arms. He kissed my neck, applying suction with his lips. I moaned and squeezed my thighs tight to suppress the erotic itch he’d just sent through me. Harrison smiled as he pushed a curl from my bang to the side. “I just want you to know, I been thinkin’ of you, nonstop. I do carpentry, and I drive supply trucks for Mr. Rayman. When I got off work, my walking led to you.”
I flung my damp hair as I sized him up. “You don’t know me. You might know how to make me feel good, but you don’t know anything about me.”
He circled his arms around my waist. “I know more than you think. You Frances’ niece, and Dr. Kelly was your husband. He’s gone, and you left here, missing him.”
I looked down at the amber polish on my toes. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Miss Jasmine, you ain’t got to be scared no more,” he said, his tone mellow. He lifted my face to meet his. “You damn sure ain’t gotta be afraid of me. This crystal on the floor will hurt you more than I ever will.”
I shook my head as I placed my hands on his chest, trying to pull away. “You’re talkin’ foolish. You’re a married man.”
He kept me locked in his embrace. “Being married has nothin’ to do with this wine on the floor, and those tears in your eyes. Unless lightning lucky enough to strike me dead, I’ma be married tomorrow, so talk of that mess can rest for another time. This mess here looks like a damn emergency, and I believe I’m the one to save you.” He caressed my shoulders. “Lay those burdens down on me; I’m strong enough to carry ’em.”
Harrison scooped me into his arms and carefully guided me out of the bathroom into the bedroom. After laying me down on the bed, he took off his work boots and his denim shirt, exposing a chiseled chest. I raised my head as I watched him remove the belt from his dungarees.
“Let me get my robe.”
“You lay back and relax,” he said, guiding me back down. He gave me a tender kiss. “Where is it?”
“In the bureau,” I said softly as he lifted from my body.
As he got the blue robe, he noticed the record player on the dresser. “You like Al Green?” he asked, looking at the singer’s record mounted to the turntable.
I looked up to the ceiling, as I fingered my gold heart pendant. “Adam did. There was a song on there I really liked, though.”
He raised a brow. “Was it this one?” He turned the player on. When I heard the introduction, I got to my feet.
“Could you turn it off, please,” I said, shutting my eyes for a moment.
“I wanna dance with you,” he whispered into my ear as he tied the robe around me.
I put my palms up in desperation, shaking my head. “Please.”
He thread his fingers through mine, pulling me close to him. “Shh…this the one you like? Does it remind you of Adam?” I nodded slowly, sighing as I rested my head against his chest. His arms became a warm blanket, covering the satin fabric that graced my shoulders. “Well, I ain’t selfish. You need him here, use me. I’ll do whatever you want. Whatever he did, just as long as I know you gonna be all right. Don’t let sadness take your life, Miss Jasmine. Hold onto me. That’s all you gotta do. Just hold on.”
Harrison locked his hands around my waist. I looked up at him as he kissed my forehead. A tender melody serenaded us.
Don’t look so sad
I know it’s over…
Harrison caressed my face, wiping wetness away with his fingertips.
But life goes on, and this world keeps on turning….
We swayed to the music. Harrison comforted me, rubbing my back as I rested my weight on him.
Let’s just be glad, we had have this time to spend together
There is no need to watch the bridges that were burning…
The lyrics made me reminisce. Fond memories of loving Adam more than myself; thoughts of losing our son; and my battle to mend scars of being orphaned and widowed came crashing down. Harrison bore my cries. It felt good to let go, with him holding me tight.
Lay your head upon my pillow
Sweet baby, hold your warm and tender body close to mine…
“Look at me,” he said. “I’m yours.”
I sniffled. “For tonight.”
“Let that be enough for now. God himself couldn’t make the world in a day. Be patient. Time gonna bring good things. Like rain falling on flower seeds, helping them grow into somethin’ sweet, like Jasmine.”
I smiled for the first time, enjoying the warmth of his arms.
Hear the whisper of the raindrops blow softly against my window pane late at night
Make believe you love me…one more time
For the good times…
When I woke up, I thought Harrison would be gone, but he was still here. Sleeping peacefully beside me.
LOVE WHAT YOU DO FOR ME
Harrison gave me innocence last night. As a new dayclean shined across the bed, I slipped my hand into his boxers, taking what I needed now into my hand.
He smiled and moved onto his back. I removed his shorts.
“Mornin,’ beautiful,” he moaned.
“Umm…Good morning,” I said, kissing the bridge of his nose as he opened his eyes.
He licked his lips. “I see you feelin’ better.”
“I am, but this Rock of Gibraltar gonna tear my insides out,” I moaned, easing down on his rod.
“That’s because you like to take control of everything,” he said with a wink. “Sometimes you gotta let a man handle his business before you start running things.”
“Is that right?”
“That’s right, now take it easy,” he said. He guided my hips, sliding me up and down the vascular desire that became more delicious with each stroke. “That’s it,” he moaned as he closed his eyes. Harrison gave in to the feel of my triangle swallowing his dick. I rode him until my body collapsed onto his, weakened from my orgasm. “My turn,” he said, as he placed me on my back. I welcomed him into my warm shelter, wrapping my knees over his shoulders. We both succumbed to the depth of our lovemaking. Harrison being with me made life beautiful again. His skillful touch to all the right places helped me experience uninhibited intimacy.
As we rested, I rubbed his taut back, gliding my hand up and down his spine.
“You gotta get home?” I asked, giving him a peck on the lips.
He exhaled as he touched my necklace. “I gotta shower, kiss my son, and get to work, ’fore Mr. Rayman fire my ass.”
I smiled. “He won’t fire you, if I put in a good word.”
“What?”
“I work for him, too. I’m his lawyer.”
He playfully pinched me. “Damn, you somethin’ else. Why you still in Sapelo? Seem like you’d be makin’ mean green in a big city, like New York or Chicago.”
I wrapped my arms around him. “I like being around familiar faces. People who make me feel good, like you.” I looked away, towards the oak tree hovering outside my window.
Harrison touched my chin, easing my face his way. “What’s the matter?”
“Naomi. She gonna be wondering about you.”
He shook his head. “I doubt that. She stopped asking me questions about my whereabouts when I started asking about her late nights.”
“Well, I just wanna say thank you for last night…for everything.”
He frowned slightly, rising up on his elbow. “You thankin’ me like you ain’t gonna see me again.”
I shrugged as I touched his thick eyebrow. “There’s no guarantee.”
Harrison shook his head. “That’s where you’re wrong, Counselor. I done traveled the world, and come across many fine ladies in my day, but…”
I burst out laughing, pulling myself up against the headboard. “Yeah, you’re such a wise, old soul.” He wasn’t amused. I stopped smiling when I realized I may have been too sarcastic. “Harrison, I…”
His eyes narrowed as he placed his index finger over my lips. “Like I was saying…I’ve seen many a fine woman, but I’m old enough to recognize when I’m in good company. You got my attention, lovely lady, and if you don’t mind, I think I wanna stick around.”
I glanced at the small piece of gauze taped to his ear. “Your ear is gettin’ better.”
Harrison grinned. “I guess there’s hope for me yet.” He took a deep breath and clasped his hands behind his head, lying back down on the pillow. His expression was reflective, directed towards the fan circulating from the ceiling.
I nudged him. “Deep in thought?” He smiled as he pulled himself up beside me, placing his forehead against mine.
“Yep. I was thinkin’ about a beautiful woman I once met. How her eyes changed colors with the movement of the sun. How the switch of her hips when she walked made me stand at attention. The sexiness of her bottom lip, pouting at me, waiting far too long for my kiss. Sorry to keep you waitin’,” he whispered as his lips covered the fullness of mine.
TO SIR WITH LOVE
I had a meeting with Mr. Rayman at his mansion. He’d recently taken quite ill, and needed to review some of his legal affairs concerning the estate, and delegation of a successor for his cigarette company. As I walked toward the long stretch of willow trees and restored plantation houses, I noticed Harrison hollering through the open door of his cedar bungalow. Next thing I saw was him storming inside. A minute later, he was back outside, throwing a pile of women’s clothes, and an old suitcase to the dusty ground. Naomi stood crying on the porch as he threw her business outside for all of Sapelo to see.
I didn’t want to see Harrison upset, but whatever business he had with his wife was between them. I knew we’d be able to talk about it when he was ready. I shook my head as I continued walking down the plantation path toward the Rayman Mansion.
***
Regal ivory pillars towered over the intricate entrance to the mansion. The solid oak doors opened as I made the last stride up the slate steps. Gladys, Mr. Rayman’s housekeeper, stood smiling at the doorway.
“Mornin,’ Miss Gladys,” I said, kissing her on the cheek.
“Mornin,’ chile,” she said, rocking me as we hugged. I’d known Miss Gladys ever since I was a little girl. She was petite, and always wore her thick hair in a neat bun. Her rosewater scent, and neat posture always made me wonder if she’d ever wanted to be a model or actress, instead of working for the Raymans all these years. I’d never seen a frown on her flawless bronze skin, and I never heard her complain.
“How’s Mr. Rayman doin’ today?”
“Still himself,” she said, shaking her head. “Fussin’ and sneakin’ cigarettes every chance he gets.”
I laughed. “Where is he?”
She pointed to the west wing. “In the study. Go on, he’s expectin’ you.”
As I strolled over the emerald marble tile corridor, I saw Mr. Rayman, settled comfortably in his leather reading chair. He had a paisley cigar robe belted around navy cotton pajamas. He appeared to be dozing off when I entered. I approached him in the vast library corridor, and his head lifted slowly.
“Jasmine,” he said, extending his arms for a hug. He’d seen me grow up, so I was used to the light peck he’d placed on my hair when I hugged him. He shook his head, almost with a melancholy glance. “You get more beautiful by the day, you know that?”
I waved my hand. “Don’t make me blush, now,” I said, sitting on the sofa near him. “How you feelin’ today?”
He huffed. “Like I got one foot in the grave.”
“Stop that talk. You just had a setback, is all.”
He pointed at me. “A smart woman like you should know better. Emphysema isn’t some nightmare that will go away.” He swallowed hard, wringing his hands.
I got up and poured him a glass of water from the pitcher.
He nodded in appreciation. “Thank you kindly,” he whispered, taking a sip.
“Did you bring all the paperwork with you?”
“Yes, sir,” I said as I sat back down. I pulled a file from my briefcase. “Here are the documents you requested. I believe I amended everything, per your instructions over the phone. We just need to go over some minor details, and make any final changes you see fit.”
He drank the rest of the water, then handed me the glass. “Tobacco business is still good in Sapelo. I employ many people, trying to help folks take care of their families.”
“Yes, sir,” I said, folding my hands. “I believe your company is what has kept the people here. It’s the only viable industry on the island, and you’ve always treated people fairly.”
He looked over at the grandfather clock, chiming in the background. “I don’t know about all of that, Jasmine. I’ve tried to do my best, but I’m not perfect. I’ve made plenty of mistakes. Even hurt some people.” He looked back at me, sadness creeping across his face. “There are things I wish I could take back, but I can’t. So, I’m gonna make sure mistakes are minimal from this point on. I want future generations to keep the plant going, and hopefully give something back to Sapelo, as I plan on doing.”
I reached for his hand. “You talk like you’re on your death bed.”
&n
bsp; “It’s necessary talk. You didn’t become a lawyer, thinking just about today. I didn’t build a company, thinking about what someone built yesterday. We’re visionaries, you and I. You gotta always plan ahead, because life is sure to catch you sleeping, if you don’t.”
I smiled. “Words of wisdom, sir. I thank you.”
He sighed as he squeezed my hand. “Don’t thank me anymore. You’re my attorney. You’ve done an excellent job, handling my business matters. I thank you.” He let my hand go, and began to rub his chest.
I stood up, concerned. “Mr. Rayman, do you want me to call for Gladys?”
He coughed violently, motioning for more water. I hurried to the end table and poured him another glass. He took a sip, shaking his head. I touched his shoulder as he exhaled. “No, no. I’m fine. I just get choked up, sometimes.” He picked up the papers. “Let me look over things, and we’ll talk again, at the Board of Directors meeting. I’m appointing two new members, effective first quarter of the New Year. My son, Victor, who will replace me, and my first female appointee.”
I smiled. “Really? Let me guess, Mrs. Rayman?”
“Good guess, but no cigar,” he said cheerfully.
“Who?”
“Mrs. Jasmine Kelly, Esquire.”
I was speechless. He slowly rose to his feet, as I offered my assistance. “Mr. Rayman, you’re appointing me to the board? Why? I mean, you already have separate counsel managing the operations of the corporation.” He patted my hand.
“I’m tired. I need to rest now. We’ll discuss it further after the meeting next week.”
HOW CAN YOU MEND A BROKEN HEART?
When I walked back through the Hog Hammock community where Harrison lived, I saw him chopping wood. He had a cigarette dangling from his mouth, but managed to belt a loud roar after each hit to the stump. Sweat poured from his face, more so from anger than the hot sun beaming down. Even a scowl didn’t diminish his handsome features. Since he was situated right outside Otis’ furniture shop, I thought it’d be all right for us to talk. Otis, a disabled veteran and constant nuisance, sat on the shop porch with an oriental female companion. She massaged his shoulders, while he enjoyed watching Harrison’s rage.
