by Dori Lavelle
“Of course I'll do that. I'll get my things from the hotel in a bit.”
“Thank you.” She tipped her head to one side. “Can I ask what you came to Misty Cove for? If you feel comfortable talking to me about it.”
I paused. Should I distance her from the pain of worrying about me, or start our new relationship by being honest? Instead of discussing my problems, I would have preferred to discuss her treatment options, to convince her to return to Boca Raton with me. The last thing I wanted was for my problems to affect her. But she looked so expectant, waiting for me to respond.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. “Mom, I think I'm in danger.”
Chapter Fourteen
My gaze wandered around the room, which was lit up by the bright morning sunlight filtering through the lace curtains. The curtains were the only new thing in my childhood bedroom. Mom had kept everything else the way it was before I had left. Even though she had neglected the rest of the house, she had kept my room clean. No dust or cobwebs in sight.
I felt horrible when I thought again of what she had gone through. How I had walked out of her life without knowing the full story. We had lost so much time together. I should have talked to her before leaving. Instead I had secretly applied to colleges without her knowledge and packed my bags. I couldn't get out of Misty Cove fast enough.
Then again, she wasn't the only person I had wanted to run from.
My gaze took in a poster of a blond teenage girl in a bikini—Mary Lewis, a famous singer back then. I remember putting up the poster, wishing I were her. Desperate for her looks, and her fame and fortune. Last I'd heard, the pressures of success had led Mary Lewis to the grave early. She’d overdosed on pills two years ago.
I climbed out of bed and went to the wardrobe. The multicolored butterflies were still stuck to the door. I had been drawn to butterflies as a child, an attraction born of the wish to be free, to fly away. Wishes did come true, but sometimes at a high cost.
The door squeaked when I pulled it open. The shelves and drawers were empty. Mom must have packed up my clothes and put them in boxes in the basement. An image of the way the wardrobe had looked with clothes inside pushed its way to the forefront of my mind—folded and arranged according to color. Through high school, the colors had evolved from dull and gray to colorful and bright. They had changed along with me. One moment I had been an invisible girl, the one who wore oversized and shapeless clothes to hide her unflattering figure. Until everything changed, and I was suddenly the girl everyone wanted to hang out with. My clothes and style changed along with my popularity.
The thing that had thrown me into the spotlight was the school newspaper. My articles had made waves, especially my column, StudeX, which was focused on revealing interesting facts about students’ lives, and sometimes exposing secrets. Since nothing was off-limits, before the column was launched, interested students had to sign a release form to be considered for a feature. They’d had no control over what would be written about them, and the journalism was done undercover. The sheer number of signatures we’d received had been astounding. The StudeX column went on to change some of my fellow schoolmates’ lives—along with mine.
I walked over to my desk, listening to the sound of vacuuming coming from downstairs. I bit my lip as I ran a hand over the pile of schoolbooks, and the old computer on which I had completed so many of my articles and homework assignments. The tips of my fingers brushed the scars in the wood of the desk. I noticed a tiny heart in the upper left-hand corner. Larry loves Kelly.
Larry had been that guy. The one every girl wanted to be with and every guy wanted to be. He was captain of the football team and just about the smartest guy in school. Coupled with his muscular chest and good looks, it was a killer combination. I’d pined after him all through high school, but I never thought he would notice me. Until he asked me to be his prom date. That was after my final StudeX feature, the one that made me the most talked-about girl on the last day of school. It also made me enemies. Secretly, I hated myself for what I had done, but the success had numbed the guilt, just as it did now with each new Sage cover story.
Before going downstairs, I gave Miles a call. I hadn’t been able to reach him last night.
“I have good and bad news,” I told him when he picked up. “I'll start with the good news.
“Turns out my issues with my mom were based on a misunderstanding.” As I recounted Mom’s revelations and the news of her illness, tears welled up in my eyes again. I had cried all night after Mom went to bed, ridden with guilt and regret. “I can't believe thirteen years ago I left without even saying goodbye to her. I feel terrible.”
“Good for both of you. I'm sorry about her cancer.” Somehow his words didn't sound genuine. His tone was emotionless.
“Me too.” I hesitated. “We just found our way to each other. I hate to think about the cancer.”
“Is she getting treatment?” His voice was dry and tired now, as though he was bored with the discussion.
“She doesn't want to spend the rest of her life in hospitals. The doctors said there's nothing anyone can do.” I sighed. “I tried to convince her to come and stay with us, but she refused—”
“You what?” Miles cut me off.
“I asked her to come and stay with us. I mean… we have the space, and I could keep an eye on her.”
“Why would you do that? You didn't even run it by me.”
“She's my mom. I thought you'd understand.”
Miles didn’t respond.
“Miles, you there?”
“I am. I just don't see why you would do such a thing without consulting me first.”
I sat down at the desk, my head reeling. “My mom is sick; I want to be there for her. I didn’t think it would be an issue.”
“You were wrong. It is an issue, damn it. You should have asked me first. You’re inviting someone into our home, the place we go to get away from it all.”
“Baby, it’s not as if she'd live with us forever, just a couple of months.”
“This is the same woman you never wanted to see again, remember? The woman who ruined your life? After only a few hours you're not only forgiving her, you're asking her to come and live with us. I don't get it.”
I lowered my forehead onto the surface of the desk and closed my eyes. More tears threatened to spill. Why was Miles acting this way? He was the kind of person who would do anything for people in need. He gave away millions to charity. But now that I wanted us to care for my mom, he was reacting so strangely, so unlike himself.
After a moment of silence on both ends of the line, I got it. He didn’t want to share me with anyone else. For a year it had been just us. His parents had died in a car accident when he was a child, and my mom had been out of the picture. Miles and I only had each other. Now I was bringing someone else into our lives, someone else important to me.
“Miles, don’t worry about it. I don't want to fight. She's not coming anyway. She doesn’t want to.” I was still a bit upset that he wouldn't make such a sacrifice for my mom, his future mother-in-law. He had lost his mother, but now he would get another through marriage.
He sighed. “Look, baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say those things. I don't know what got into me. It's fine. If you want her to stay with us for a while, it's okay.”
“You're so hot and cold. You were so adamant a moment ago that you didn’t want her to stay with us. What changed?”
“I don't know. It's been a stressful couple of days. And I have to go on a last-minute trip out of town. I'm on the jet right now.”
“Okay.” I sucked in a breath. “She... she wants to come to the wedding. Can I invite her?” I had already invited her, but I didn't want Miles to react the way he had a few minutes ago.
“Of course she can come to the wedding. If you’ve forgiven her, I do too.”
That was the man I knew him to be. The caring, loving man I had fallen for.
“By the way, did you sort out
what you went there to take care of?”
A chill spread through me. “Not yet. But I will soon. I'm planning on coming back tomorrow.” It would be hard leaving Mom in her current state. The thought of leaving her alone again made my stomach hurt. But I would visit Misty Cove as often as I could to see her.
“Good. Have you received any more cards from the stalker?”
The cards. I had forgotten that I didn't receive a card yesterday. My stalker must have lost me. I wasn’t being followed in Misty Cove. Maybe they had no connection to my past after all.
“No more cards. I think it was a prank and the person got bored. It could be over.” I knew it wasn’t over. I felt it. But I couldn’t tell Miles that. I had to sort it out before I returned home. Spending my life looking over my shoulder was not an option.
Miles was quiet again. When he spoke, his voice was low and controlled. “I have to go. I'll talk to you later.”
When I hung up, I realized that in his rush to get off the phone, he hadn’t told me where he was flying to. I shivered. Something about him was off. He wasn’t acting like himself.
Chapter Fifteen
The living room was transformed. Everything was clean and sparkling, no dust or dirt anywhere. Even though my mom still looked sick, she seemed to have a lot more energy and was humming a song when I entered the kitchen. The huge pile of dirty dishes I had seen in the sink yesterday had disappeared.
“Good morning, honey.” She kissed my cheek. “I made breakfast, want some?”
“Actually, I was just about to head out. I don't really have time for breakfast.”
“Oh, that's a shame, I thought maybe we could eat together.” Her face crumpled the way it had when I'd told her about the night that changed my life.
I brushed away our emotional conversation from yesterday and glanced at the kitchen table, recalling all the times we had sat there in silence, day after day, as we ate our food. She hadn’t been there for me emotionally, but at least there had always food on the table.
“I'll be back by lunch, and we can eat together then. I really appreciate the effort you put in. Please don't overdo it, though. You need to rest.” I hugged her, but not too tight.
“Don't worry, honey. I feel stronger today.” She pulled away but held my arms. “I've been thinking about what you said last night. It was a shock to hear, but I blame myself for what happened… what you did. You wouldn't be in danger now if I had been there—”
“Stop beating yourself up. The decisions I made were all mine. You’re not to blame.”
“But I can't help it.” My mom went to fill the kettle. I could see from her trembling shoulders that she was crying. “If only I could do something to make it all go away.”
“Mom, really, you have nothing to do with this. It's all me.” I reached for an apple, rinsed it, and wiped it with a kitchen towel. “There is something you can do.” I leaned against the fridge. “Have you heard anything about my friends? Whatever you know will be a huge help. I need something, anything to go on.”
Mom wiped her eyes and turned to me. “Not much. Stacy Prammer only visited once since she went to college, and not long after that her parents divorced. Her mom moved away. Her father died about a year ago.”
My heart sank. I wished I could talk to all of them, to find out if they were also being stalked. It had not even crossed my mind that they might not have returned to Misty Cove after college, as I had done.
“How about Melanie Thompson and Jane Dreer? Are they still in town?” Even though I had not planned on having breakfast, I found myself sinking into a chair and reaching for a slice of fresh bread, tearing it with my fingers. It was warm and spongy. The apple was forgotten for now.
Mom’s face softened as she sat down as well.
“Word around is that Jane moved to Europe, but Melanie... She's still in town.” Mom lifted a glass of juice to her lips. “Well, life has been unkind to her. Her father made some bad investments and the family lost everything.”
“Oh, no. That's so sad.” I bit into the bread. It was so good, it distracted me from the bad news I'd just heard. But I had to focus. I put the bread down on an empty plate and directed my full attention to Mom. “How is Melanie now?”
“Well, she's changed. She dropped out of college because there was no money.” She sighed. “Now she has a job as an administrative assistant at the Trinity Church of Christ. But she's like a shadow of herself. She doesn't talk much, and doesn't smile. It's been like that for years.” Mom took my hand. “I don't think her father's bankruptcy is the only thing to blame. Maybe that night affected her too.”
I dropped my gaze. “I regret what I did. I just didn't know how to get out of the situation.”
“You of all people know I’m not a saint; I’ve made my own mistakes in life. I'm not in a position to judge you or anyone.” She glanced at the kitchen clock. ”If you want to talk to Melanie, I'm sure she's at the church already. She's usually there by eight.”
“Okay. But I think I'll finish breakfast first.” I gave her a small smile.
She smiled back, and I saw a flash of the beautiful woman she once was. “Do you think you'll get any more cards… the stalker?”
“I don't know. I hope not. At least I didn't receive anything yesterday. I hope that's the end of it.”
Part of me told me to quit the search for answers in Misty Cove, to go on with my life. What if I was searching for answers in the wrong place? What if my stalker really was someone from my present and not my past?
Last night I’d thought of Fred, the lawyer I had dated before Miles. He had been the jealous kind. We dated for over two years, and the breakup was messy. He didn't want to understand that I couldn't be in a relationship where I felt something was missing. He'd accused me of wasting his time.
But Fred couldn't be my stalker. I had woken up in the middle of the night and went online to check out his social media profiles, amazed that he hadn't blocked me. From the look of things, he had moved on completely. He was married and had a baby daughter. Judging from the pictures he posted of his family, he was happy. He didn't seem like somebody who would jeopardize his new life to get back at an ex.
I had been somehow disappointed that it wasn't him. I'd have preferred the stalker to be someone in my current life.
“I hope it’s over as well. But please be careful.” Mom touched my cheek gently.
I nodded and started to eat, filling myself with enough food to get me through the whole day.
When I walked out the door and down the path, munching on my apple, I couldn't help wondering what had become of my friends. I now knew Melanie's dreams of becoming an actress didn't pan out, but what about the others? Did theirs come true? Were they married with kids? Did the past ever cross their minds?
I moved the apple to my left hand so I could reach into my purse for the car keys. When I looked up again I spotted something on my windscreen, tucked behind the wipers. My heart froze.
It was an envelope.
As I walked to the front of the car, I felt nauseous. My stalker had followed me after all. If somebody was willing to put their life on hold in order to follow me to another town, they had to be dangerous.
I glanced around, hoping I could catch the person watching me. But all I saw were people leaving their homes for work, and uniformed children getting into the school bus. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Where was he? Who was he? My feelings told me it was a man. I couldn’t explain it, I just knew.
Chapter Sixteen
The last time I stepped into the Trinity Church was when my father died, the one time Mom and I had resembled some kind of family, brought together by shared grief. As we listened to the minister, both of us had sat ramrod straight, gazing ahead, so near and yet so far apart. I remembered now that my mom had not cried. At the time I thought she had been consumed with grief, but now I knew she probably couldn't find it in her heart to grieve for the man who had hurt her so deeply.
Neit
her of my parents had ever really been the religious kind, although Mom had brought me to church occasionally when I was younger. Like with everything else, she stopped out of the blue. I didn’t understand why, but I also didn’t ask. By then the distance between us was too great to cross.
The Trinity Church was still as beautiful as I remembered, with its vivid stained glass windows and heavy, carved front door. Months after we stopped coming to the church, I would walk by often, contemplating whether I should enter. I used to envy the children playing on the swing in the large yard, or gazing into the koi pond. I hated that I couldn't be part of it. There were times I considered waking up early on Sunday before my parents got up and attending the service alone, but I had been afraid of being turned away. What if the reason we no longer attended church was because we had angered God in some way? What if we had been banished from the church?
I stepped over a puddle of rainwater that reflected the sky, and ran up the stone steps. I pushed my weight against the heavy wooden door. It was a warm morning already, which meant it would be a hot day, but the interior of the church was cool. The sudden change in temperature sent goosebumps scattering across the skin on my arms. As I walked down the aisle, the slapping sound of my leather sandals echoed off the walls. I inhaled the faint scent of burning candles.
Although I needed to go look for the office, I found myself standing in the middle of the aisle instead. In those few seconds, feeling to my heart rate slow down, a sense of calm fell over me. When was the last time I'd prayed? Did God even remember me?
