Linc turned back toward the door. “Forgive me if I don’t get too excited. Focus on convincing your father to give you the job, and we might have something to talk about.”
“I want to see her,” Gage called as Linc turned the handle on the door.
“Thought the plan was to act like you despise her? Not sure visiting her at my place is the best way to start.”
“My parents don’t do business with anyone in your building, so word will never get back to them that I was there. If this pans out, you’re right. I’ll have to put on a show that means I can’t see her. So I have to see her now. I have to see her one last time…”
Linc’s head fell. He watched his hand on the handle as if he were moments from leaving without a response. He spoke to the door. “She doesn’t want to see you, man.”
“I know.” Gage drew in a breath when that fact made his heart burn. “But she listens to you.”
Linc shot him a look over his shoulder.
Gage shrugged. “And this whole thing will run a lot smoother if I know I’ve got something left to fight for.”
Linc studied him over his shoulder, a long silence falling until nothing but the heavy breathing from their rapidly rising and falling chests filled the air.
Then, Linc turned the handle. “I’ll talk to her.”
Gage exhaled as Linc stepped out of the office and slammed the door closed behind him, falling back into his desk chair for the first time since Linc had walked in. Leaning on one arm of the chair, he massaged the inside of his eyes for a moment, his stomach filled with butterflies as his mind raced.
He knew that Linc had no vested interest in seeing him and Veda back together and that the talk Linc had with Veda about seeing Gage that night would be far from inspired.
But Gage also knew Linc had a deeply vested interest in finding out what had happened to his wife on that cruise ship five years earlier. Gage knew there was no mountain Lincoln Hill wouldn’t move to find that truth.
Even if it meant losing Veda.
15
Later that night, a knock on Linc’s door prompted Veda to shoot him a look from where she was preparing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the kitchen island. She dropped her knife with a scoff and crossed her arms with pinched lips.
Reclining on the living room couch, Linc snickered at her hostile glare. They shared a long look before he raised his eyebrows and began to stand, pointing toward the door. “I guess I’ll get that…”
“Yeah, you will.” Veda reclaimed her knife as he began crossing the room to the door, even though she was much closer to it than he was. “I don’t even want him here. This is all your idea. Even though I cook for you…” She motioned to the mangled peanut butter and jelly sandwiches before her. “I clean for you…” She waved the peanut-laden knife around his immaculate apartment before pointing it straight at him. “I agree to speak to my ex for you, against my will—everything for you!” she cried. “The least you can do is answer the damn door.”
Linc trudged to the door while motioning to the breast of his white t-shirt. “It’s not like I’ve been shot or anything…”
“Yeah, whatever,” Veda grumbled. “Man up already.”
“Man up,” Linc repeated in his own grumbling voice while moving into the foyer.
Veda gnawed at her bottom lip as the door creaked open, knees bobbing behind the island. The application of peanut butter onto the bread before her became less of a slather and more of a brusque smack. The click of shoes on the wood floors rang in, and she didn’t even have to look up from where she’d buried her chin in her chest to know they were Italian leather. The door clicked closed, but she didn’t look up when the heat of both their massive bodies moved in close, pretending to be enthralled with the preparation of the sandwiches.
Only when she found herself faced with six sandwiches, piled high, none of which she presently had the stomach to eat, did Veda finally risk a look up from under her eyelashes.
Gage’s chest rose the moment their eyes met, his brown orbs widening even as his brows furrowed. His chest rose even as his shoulders fell. He played a single red rose between his fingers, letting the thorns nip at the tips.
Somehow, the sight of that single red rose tugged at her heartstrings more than a dozen ever could.
Her eyes dashed between the two men before her, nearly identical in sheer height and brutish strength. Gage was just a few inches shy of Linc’s towering six five and a few pounds lighter than his hefty 225. Their outfit choices alone, however, made it plain that they were polar opposites in everything else. Linc wore sweatpants and a t-shirt that his biceps begged to be free of. Gage, on the other hand, was dapper as usual in black slacks and a black cashmere sweater, topped by a rich, camel-colored trench coat.
Crossing her own sweatpant-clad ankles and shifting her shoulders under her baby t-shirt, Veda couldn’t imagine how the two of them had come together. Nor could she handle the unspoken implications lingering in each of their eyes as they watched her. So she put all her focus on the food she’d prepared.
“I made both of you guys sandwiches, so…” Her arms went limp on the granite, cheeks beginning to burn. “Not exactly Wolfgang Puck, but they’re edible. Take it or leave it.”
Gage didn’t move forward, but Linc did, seizing a sandwich from the top of the pile while shooting her a playful look. He demolished a third of the sandwich it in one bite, immediately moving in to take two more before turning to walk away.
“I’ll be in the bedroom,” he said.
Suddenly angry with Linc for convincing her to see Gage, especially now that she was on the receiving end of Gage’s butterfly-in-the-stomach inducing gaze, Veda only grumbled a response, waiting until Linc had crossed the room to his bedroom and closed the door to roll her eyes. She couldn’t help a glare at that closed door, some part of her deeply irritated that a man who’d, very recently, been sitting on the couch next to her with a hard-on—one she’d been kind enough to pretend not to notice—was now orchestrating a reunion with her ex-boyfriend. If there were any man on Earth more confusing than Lincoln Hill, she’d certainly never met him.
Drawing in a deep breath, she looked back at Gage.
He smiled softly. “Hey, beautiful.”
She gave a sharp nod, or what might’ve been an involuntary spasm in response to the instant flip of her stomach. “Hey.”
“Thank you for agreeing to see me.”
She nibbled her bottom lip, knees feeling weak and on the verge of collapse.
“I know…” He swallowed thickly. “I know things have been difficult. With your accident. The voicemail. The baby. I know you’re hurting—”
“I’m fine.”
His mouth fell, and he spluttered, shuffling his feet. Recovering in the next instant, he moved to the opposite side of the island, letting the granite edge poke into his stomach while offering her the rose.
Veda took it, bringing it to her nose and letting her eyes flutter closed as the fragrant scent filled her body.
When her eyes opened, she found a new intensity in Gage’s. “Veda, please come back to me.”
She let her rose-holding hand fall with a deep sigh. After taking a long look toward Linc’s bedroom, she nodded toward the balcony doors. “Let’s talk outside.”
Clutching the edge of the island, leaning in, he nodded.
Veda circled the island and began toward the balcony, knowing he’d follow. Over her shoulder, she heard him shuffling through the bowl of suckers in the foyer and silently thought if he didn’t grab one for her, they were never getting back together.
——
Gage had grabbed a sucker for her, and Veda was thankful to have the sweet distraction rolling around on the bed of her tongue as they faced each other on the balcony, moments later.
He’d also grabbed a lollipop for himself. Grape. He knew it was her least favorite flavor. One she would only select when every other option had been depleted. It was already turning the inner ri
ms of his lips purple. The stick jutted out of his mouth, rolling in slow circles as his soft eyes ran her face.
They’d been standing there, hips leaning on the balcony, watching each other, for several minutes.
Veda was the first to break the long silence. “Gage—”
“Just…” He shook his head, voice slightly muffled from the sucker. “Just let me look at you for a little longer.”
As a wave of warmth rolled through her belly, Veda rolled her eyes to fight it, removing the sucker from her lips and narrowing her gaze to the spectacular view of the island while Gage got his fill of her.
He took his sucker out too, abandoning the grape candy on the edge of the balcony. “Judging by all my unanswered calls and texts, I suppose you’re still angry with me?”
“Apparently you and Linc are best friends now. I’m sure he gave you the gist.”
His chest swelled when their eyes locked. He stepped closer.
His scent moved in, threatening to wage war, and she stepped away, cursing under her breath when she ran into the nook in the corner of the balcony.
Trapped.
“Baby, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Gage took advantage of the situation and closed in, taking hold of the railing on either side of her, leaving her with nowhere to go. “That voicemail…was disgusting. Unmerited. Unforgivable—”
“Unforgivable. Great word.”
Redness climbed his cheeks. He struggled for a response. “Veda… I’ve never known heartbreak like the kind I felt when our engagement ended. It felt like someone had sat me down and asked me which of the six senses I’d care to lose, and when I couldn’t decide, they just went ahead and took them all.”
She crossed her arms and looked away, the breeze making the baby curls on her hairline tickle her forehead.
His whispered voice continued. “I couldn’t see, I couldn’t feel, I couldn’t hear—I couldn’t breathe, baby. I couldn’t function. And to deal with that… I got angry. I snapped. I made life at the hospital hell on Earth for you, and I started dating a woman I had no interest in because I was so desperate to forget. I would’ve done anything to forget you.”
She looked at him from the corner of her eyes.
His pained gaze caught hers. “But when I got your message about the baby…” He released the bars and stepped back, slapping both hands over his heart. “I swear to God I took my first real breath in months. And then, all I could see was us. The three of us. I saw all of it, Veda. I saw us, five years from now. Ten years from now. Twenty years from now. I saw him smile for the first time, crawl for the first time, walk for the first time. I saw our first hug and even our first fight. I saw us sending him off to college. I saw him getting married. I saw us together, and I could finally breathe. Everything ceased to exist, and all I could think about was getting to you.” He paused, sputtering for the right words. “So… so when I got to your place, and you didn’t answer the door… I felt suffocated. I felt foolish. I felt the same dreams that had just lifted me so high send me crashing right back down to Earth. I felt under attack. I felt my future being stolen from me all over again. I felt the pain hitting me ten times harder than it had the first time—and I lashed out!” He looked away too, his eyes glassy with moisture as he motioned toward a random spot in the sky. “Meanwhile, the two of you were… You were… in trouble—” His voice broke, nose wrinkling as he shook his head. A tear jetted down his cheek as he threw his eyes back to hers. “God, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean a word of it. You have to believe that. Please give me another chance. Give me a chance to make it right, and as God is my witness, Veda, I’ll never let anyone hurt you again. I’ll lay my life on the line to protect you—no matter what.”
Veda frowned softly and looked away once more, fighting to keep her eyes off of him when she felt her own beginning to burn.
“Veda, look at me…” He stroked her cheek with a gentle touch.
“I can’t,” she croaked.
“I understand why you’re angry. I do. I go to bed every night—” He clapped his hands over his stomach. “—I go to bed every night feeling sick, baby. I’m having nightmares about the look in your eyes at the hospital. The way you looked at me like you believed I did this—that you could believe for a single moment I would do this.”
“I didn’t.” Veda lifted her wide, watery eyes to his. “I never believed it was you. I know you better than that. But Linc… he had to do his job. And for a minute, yeah, you were a suspect. But I never believed it.”
“So why did you choose to stay with him and not me?”
“Because you left me a message that said you abhorred me. That you loathed me.” She repeated the words that were now burned into her brain, her voice hitching. “ ‘God help any child that ends up with me for a mother.’ ”
Gage’s head tipped back, eyes heavenward. If he implored the God’s, he didn’t speak those prayers out loud. In the next instant, his head fell forward, chin on his chest, eyes locked on the balcony floor.
Silence.
“I miss you.” He risked a look up at her, his eyes going vulnerable as their gazes locked. “I miss you like crazy.”
“What about Stephanie?”
“Veda, I told you it’s over with Stephanie. It was over before it began. I was only with her because I was so determined to remain in denial about… about how much I love you.” He drew in a deep breath. “God, I love you so much, and I’m so unimaginably sorry. I behaved like such a child. When you came to my place that day… that day in my kitchen? Remember?”
Veda nodded, wondering how she could ever forget.
“You told me you still loved me and that you wanted me back. I knew it, even then. I knew I still loved you. I knew I wanted you with every fiber of me. And I had you…” He shook his head, gaze unfocused, skin going pale as he found himself at a loss for words. One of his eyebrows lifted. “I had you, right in front of me, spilling your heart out, and I spit all over it. I didn’t want to let you walk out that day. I was only able to stop myself from telling you to stay by the skin of my teeth. I wish I had stopped you. I wish that more than anything, Veda. But…” He slapped both hands over his chest. “But my…”
“I broke your heart,” Veda said. “Our relationship, the way it ended… it hurt you. I hurt you. Really badly. And you couldn’t risk letting me do it again. I get it.” She shrugged her shoulders high. “I know the part I played. It’s my fault that you felt too vulnerable to take me back. I don’t blame you for that.”
“So why punish me now?”
“I’m not trying to punish you.”
“You staying with Linc isn’t just punishment, Veda. It’s purgatory.”
“Linc… he…” She paused, knowing the potential her words had to hurt him, but unable to lie at that moment. “He makes me feel safe.”
His eyes shrunk as if she’d stabbed him. “And I don’t?”
“It’s not that—”
“I’ll change.”
“I don’t want you to change, Gage. You’re a good person. I know that. And I know that voicemail wasn’t the real you. I understand. It’s just… every time I look at you…” She couldn’t finish.
Gage didn’t need her to. He managed to fight back the tears threatening his eyes, but not the wobble to his voice. “You should’ve told me, Veda. You should’ve told me about the baby sooner. If I’d have known, I would’ve taken you back in an instant. I would’ve been there to protect you that night.”
She sucked in a breath. “So this is my fault?”
“That’s not what I’m saying. I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me.”
She paused, trying to find the right way to articulate the thoughts roaring through her head. “I’ve got some medical issues that made the pregnancy high risk. My doctor said I could lose the baby at any time. I’d already broken your heart once when our relationship fell apart. I didn’t want to break it all over again by telling you about a baby that I might not
be able to carry to term.”
Gage let her words sink in. After a long moment, something about what she’d just said made his shoulders relax, as well as the deep lines that had been disturbing his face. He played his fingers together.
Veda went on. “And I didn’t want you to take me back just because of the baby. I wanted you to want me… because you still loved me.”
“I will never stop loving you. Not for a second. No matter what I say or what I do, I will never stop.” Gage’s face collapsed. “If you didn’t know it then, please know it now.”
Her chin began to tremble.
“Please know it now and forever. For as long as I’m alive. For as long as I’m breathing, Veda, please know that.”
She tried to nod, but only managed to do it halfway before every bone in her body felt paralyzed, including her lips, which couldn’t seem to form another word.
He swallowed heavily. “I’m sorry I let you walk away from me—knowing that. Knowing that I’d breathe my last breath before I ever stopped loving you…” His glassy eyes left hers, and soon he was staring off into space, mumbling his thoughts out loud. “This is my fault.”
“Why don’t we both just stop blaming ourselves? Neither of us did this. It’s no one’s fault but the monster who pushed me.”
“I won’t sleep until I find out who did this to you,” he promised. “Even if it means going against my family.”
“But…” She faltered. “Linc said your family’s alibi cleared. Why would you have to go against them?”
He searched her eyes, and instead of answering, he spoke his deepest truth. “Veda, I don’t want to lose you. But even if I do… Even if I have…” His voice grew low and steady. “I’ll never stop fighting for you.”
Veda frowned, but before she could say another word he turned away, leaving the balcony with a hand over his downturned lips, trench coat flying behind him as he opened the door and stepped back inside without another word.
16
Even though Veda had told him a million times not to touch it, Linc found himself lifting his fingers to the stitching on his chest, where the gash underneath was still raw and sensitive to the touch. His alert green eyes followed the pads of his fingers as he stroked the bumpy black thread in the mirror’s reflection. The lights in his master bathroom were the brightest, and he was able to see, for the first time, her stitching style. Her every tiny intricacy. Her every unique habit.
Pulse (Revenge Book 5) Page 14
