Until then she had Carlie, the perfect magical partner, and she was very grateful for that – the Australian girl was what she’d always wanted in a friend, and she could see that they were going to push each other to be so much more than they presently were. Strength in numbers, and in shared experiences…
Chapter 33
How To Break A Heart
Beth... Twenty years ago...
Nothing dramatic happened in the week after she cast her love spell, and Beth tried her best to be patient. She also tried hard to maintain her new, unruffled, more accepting and magnanimous attitude towards her parents, since she’d become so aware of the futility of her old responses, her old arguments. Jenny’s advice, and the example her sister set through living her authentic life despite their parents, had kicked off her new way of seeing their familial relationships. The protective bubble she’d erected with her spell in the woods had stayed with her too, and she still felt shielded from the worst of her mother’s vicious barbs by the layer of magic she’d woven that morning.
And it didn’t matter now anyway. She no longer had to defend herself, or try to prove herself, or attempt to “win” in their battle of wills – her parents had bought a huge house in London, and her father was already living there, with her mother to follow shortly, as soon as she’d finalised the removalists.
It couldn’t come soon enough for Beth. Now, finally, her real life was about to begin. She felt like she’d been treading water until now, marking time, but this was it. The dress rehearsal was over, and she was terrified and excited in equal measure. The career she’d always dreamed of was going to be a reality, she had wonderful friends, and she was in love with a man who treated her with kindness and respect, the way she should be treated. Granted, he wasn’t aware that he loved her yet, but life was going to be perfect very soon – she just had to wait for everything to fall into place.
Then, the day before she started at college, Violet knocked on her door. Her shoulders were hunched, her face was pale, and she was fidgeting nervously. Beth ushered her inside and put the kettle on, then sank down into the chair opposite her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, voice sharper than she’d intended. “Are you okay? Is Rose okay?”
Violet smiled wanly. “We’re fine. No need to panic.”
Relieved, Beth grabbed some biscuits and pulled out the teapot. Everyone in her house drank coffee, but she’d bought some tea leaves after the last time Violet had been over, and now she spooned them into the pot, grateful for their soothing scent.
“So, your course starts tomorrow, right?” Violet asked her. “And you’re definitely staying in Summer Hill?”
“Yes, and I’m so excited about both those things! I’m so happy that I’ll be able to see you and Mike so much too, and go to rituals with you, weave magic…” She trailed off as she was flooded with a vision of herself, naked in the woods as she’d cast the spell to make Mike want her. Her cheeks flamed red, and she fervently hoped that Violet wasn’t as psychic as her mum Rose.
Fortunately her friend was too distracted to notice her discomfort. She sighed, and Beth reached out a hand to her. “What is it?” she asked gently, and this time Violet’s face crumpled, and a tear traced a path down her cheek.
“I feel so terrible. You’ve only ever been kind to me, such a good friend, and I’ve kept something from you,” she said softly.
Trying not to laugh, because really, what could be worse than falling in love with your friend’s boyfriend – and casting a spell to lure him from her side – Beth tried to muster her most understanding face. And it must have worked, because as she poured out the tea, Violet started pouring out her heart.
“You’ve been busy with your sister’s wedding and stuff, so I haven’t really seen you much alone, to talk about this, but… well, Andre and I… oh god! Um, I’m breaking up with Mike,” she finally blurted, her last words tumbling out lightning fast, like she had to spill her secret before she changed her mind.
Beth stared at her, mouth dropping open. “Why? What happened? When?”
“Well, we’ve been drifting apart for a while now, ever since that first day at the course…”
Beth tried not to roll her eyes. That was what, all of five weeks ago? Violet had still been desperately in love with Mike that morning, until the so-called spiritual teacher did his fake reading and told her she should be with him instead.
“And I’ve been spending a lot of time with Andre. The night you couldn’t come to class, he asked me if I could stay back to help him with something. Mike was mad, and said I couldn’t because he had to drive me home, but Andre said he would do that, so Mike reluctantly left. And we just sat there together and talked, and laughed, and he was so amazing, telling me all the things I could achieve, all the places I could go.”
“But you wanted to stay here after school,” Beth protested. “You’re going to marry Mike, and be a social worker, and help your mum with the healing centre.”
Violet’s eyes flashed with – was it anger? “Andre helped me see the truth, that I’ve outgrown Mike, and outgrown this village. You know that – the first night we met I was so desperate for you to tell me all about France, all about the world, because I want to experience it too! I want more than this, more than a life toiling away in the same village where I was born, surrounded by the same people. No offense!”
Shrugging, Beth stared at her friend. “None taken,” she muttered, although she wondered what Violet thought of her, the former rambling girl, now that she was so happy to not be travelling, so happy to be settling down in this village, surrounded by the same people Violet seemed to all of a sudden despise.
“Andre said you would understand, that you’d support me.”
The accusation hung in the air, and Beth paled. So this was what Andrew had meant, when he’d told her she had to play an active role in their situation. She had to encourage Violet to leave, convince her that she’d outgrown this town – and her beloved boyfriend – and let her know that it was a great idea to dump Mike and be with him instead. But was it?
Against her better judgement, she decided to at least try to be supportive, while hopefully hiding the knowledge of the situation Andrew had fed her, since she didn’t trust him. So far Violet had only said she wanted to break up with Mike, so she would start there.
“So, you want to be single for a while? Travel the world on your own, meet new people?” It was the best she could do, with guilt still breathing uncomfortably down her neck.
Violet shook her head, and her face lit up. “No silly, I’m in love with Andre, and he’s in love with me! I want to be with him! We want to be together!”
Although she’d known it would be this, the confirmation of it still slammed into her, a punch in the guts. She might be over Andrew, but it still hurt to see how quickly she’d been replaced.
“Wow,” she said, voice hoarse with the shock of it. “But how well do you know him? I mean, it’s been so fast. You’ve only seen him a few times, in class, that one night after class…”
“We’ve been spending lots of time together, secretly, whole days here and there when Mike was working – thank god it’s still school holidays! And last weekend when Mum and Dad were away, he stayed at my place the whole time.”
Beth gasped, but Violet was oblivious to her consternation.
“It’s amazing. He is amazing. I’ve never been loved like this, so totally and fully. And I’ve never loved anyone like this either.”
Eyes shining, and needing no encouragement at all, Violet launched into another passionate rave about their teacher – how clever he was, how loving, how spiritual, how sexy. How incredible kissing him was. That thought turned Beth’s stomach, but she couldn’t help noticing just how radiant Violet became when she talked about Andrew. She really did seem to be transformed by his love, by loving him. Had she looked like this when she’d been with him?
“So you’re going to break up with Mike to be with Andre?”
“What are you going to tell him?”
A blush stained Violet’s cheeks, and she stared into her tea, as if she’d find a less painful answer at the bottom of the cup. “I’m just going to explain that I need some space, and that as it’s our final year of school, I have to focus on that.”
“And you think he’ll believe you?”
Violet glared at her, gaze sharp. “Why wouldn’t he?”
“Oh Vee, you’ve been going on and on about Andre for weeks, and he’s been unashamedly flirting with you in class, doing readings for you that pretty much order you to break up with Mike and be with him instead, and now he’s been getting you to stay back with him at night, which Mike knows about, even if he’s oblivious to the rest.”
Shoulders slumping, Violet sighed, and Beth actually felt sorry for her. The last thing the poor girl wanted to do was hurt Mike, although his devastation was inevitable. But would lying about why she was doing it make it any less brutal?
“What should I say?” she pleaded.
A scream sounded in Beth’s head. This wasn’t fair, on any of them. Mike’s whole world was about to crumble. Violet was going to break her best friend’s heart. And perhaps worst of all, she was going to encourage Violet to do it, help her to do it, without revealing her own ulterior motive. She sighed. Andrew had a lot to answer for. She could just picture him, grinning sadistically as he stood above the three of them, pulling their strings, making them dance to his tune.
“Beth?”
She picked up her cup and took a sip. Tea. Bloody hell, she needed coffee for this conversation. Groaning, she tried to put herself in Mike’s shoes, and ignore her own vested interest in the outcome. And it became surprisingly clear to her.
“If you’re really certain about this, and you can’t stay with Mike, I think you need to tell him the truth. You owe him that, surely, because, romantic relationship aside, you’ve been best friends since you were kids. He deserves the truth.”
Rebellion and denial flashed in Violet’s eyes, and she tried to interrupt, but Beth held up her hand and continued. “Not just for his sake, but for yours too. It’s a small town, so he’ll know right away that you’re dating Andre, and that’s going to be awkward if you’ve lied about why you’re breaking up with him. Also, you’re not a liar Vee. You are better than that. Don’t compromise your principles and your integrity by being untruthful. And you still want to be Mike’s friend, don’t you?”
Reluctantly Violet nodded.
“Besides, it doesn’t matter what reason you give, what lie or half-truth you tell, he will still be heartbroken. A lie won’t make it any easier for him. And I don’t say that to talk you out of breaking up with him – you sound like you are very sure of your decision – but a lie will just make it worse for both of you. It will create trouble, and complications, and terrible pain, for you and him. Respect Mike – and yourself, and your friendship with him – enough to be honest with him.”
Violet offered a small smile. “As much as I hate this, you’re right Beth, thank you. Andre said not to worry about telling him, to make it easier for me, but that’s not fair. I do owe Mike the truth. And I agree with you, it won’t actually be easier if I lie, for either of us, not in the long run. Although I’m terrified about telling him,” she confided, face contorted with emotion.
“Are you absolutely sure you want to end it?” Beth asked, breath held in anticipation. “Is there really no way back for you both?” For Mike’s sake, she wanted her friend to deny the latter, to say that of course there was a way back, and this whole Andrew thing was just a strange summer flirtation she would soon put behind her. But in her heart of hearts, Beth had to admit that mostly she wanted Violet to say yes to the former. And it looked like her wish was coming true.
“I’m sure,” Violet said, simply, and strongly. “But thank you so much. I really appreciate you being so honest with me, and having the guts to tell me that. I know it can’t have been easy, because you’re just as close to Mike as you are to me. But it means so much to me that you took the difficult path, that you are looking out for me, and for Mike. I’m not sure I deserve a friend like you, but I am so blessed that you’re in my life.”
For a moment Beth wanted to tear her hair out, or her tongue. She felt like such a traitor, and it was even worse because Violet was so damn grateful to her, and thought she was being so selfless, when really she was just as bad as Andrew.
God, could that be true? Was she really that selfish? Thoughts and doubts swirled around her, chasing each other from mind to heart and back again, but finally she shook it all off and smiled, relieved that she could say, with a clear conscience, that she hadn’t talked Violet into ending things with Mike. That had been a fait accompli long before her friend had knocked on her door today.
It was strange that Andrew felt he required her help to convince Violet to be with him though. Her friend was all in – she hadn’t needed any encouragement at all from her. Hmm, had he cast a spell on Violet? She shivered. The way she’d cast one on Mike? She felt so guilty about that, and about this current situation, yet she had challenged Violet about breaking up with Mike, and made a case for her staying with her long-term boyfriend too.
“Will you help Mike?” Violet asked hesitantly, voice so quiet that she had to repeat herself before Beth realised she’d spoken.
“What do you mean? What can I do?”
“He’s going to need a friend, a real friend, and he’s grown so close to you, we both have. I know he enjoys your company – he had a great time at Jenny’s wedding with you – and I know that you care about him, right? I’d feel so much better about breaking it off with him if I knew he would have your shoulder to cry on.”
Beth paled. Had Andrew suggested that? Maybe this was his plot all along. He just wanted to get Mike set up with someone else, so Violet wouldn’t feel as guilty about breaking his heart. Still, if it would make Violet happy, and help her feel less callous about her choice, she would have to find a way to get over her guilty conscience and be there for Mike.
“Of course.” She smiled at her friend. “Are you okay?”
Violet nodded.
“When are you going to tell him?”
Shrugging helplessly, Violet took a deep breath, and seemed to physically and emotionally brace herself. “Now, I guess. It will only get harder the more I obsess over it. Besides, the three of us are having dinner together tonight, which could be a good thing. Will you still come?”
Pouting inside, and wondering how on earth she’d got herself into this mess, Beth nodded. Violet smiled with relief, then stood up. “Wish me luck!”
* * * * *
The crunch of autumn leaves underfoot and the soft pink of the sky almost distracted Beth from the heaviness of her thoughts, but the chill of the early evening breeze reflected the chill of her heart, and she wondered how she had ended up here. She’d been so excited about her new life, about starting college tomorrow, about her friendship with Mike and Violet – but now she was doubting her decision to stay, when she could be living so free of drama back in Paris.
As much as she knew she was falling for Mike, did she have the strength to nurse him through the heartbreaking split he was about to endure? Did she really want to be the one who patched him back up and soothed his hurt? And how long would it take before she was confident that he really cared about her, and it wasn’t just a rebound thing, finding comfort with a friend after his real love had dumped him?
Sighing, she pushed open the door of the cafe and walked inside, eyes instantly drawn to their usual booth, where Mike and Violet were already sitting, not quite as animated as they usually were, but not hostile either.
Mike turned to her with eyes a little red from crying, but they filled with gratitude when he saw her. “Hey Beth, how are you?” he asked, forcing a smile. “Here, come sit with me.”
She looked at Violet, who shrugged, then nodded to her, but she still felt awkward. Her two friends had always sat next to each other, holding hands, leaning into each other, sharing their food. It was so strange to see them sitting opposite one another – and even worse that now she had to take sides, physically at least. As she slid in next to Mike, she hoped they would never make her choose emotionally.
The waiter bustled over to take their order, and Beth said she’d have whatever Mike was having – she had no energy for making decisions tonight. And yet, aside from sitting in different places, it seemed that nothing much had changed between the three of them. As they ate dinner, they still discussed their usual topics, and Mike even brought up Andre’s course, then asked Beth if she’d be going the following night.
“I’m not sure what time I’ll get home from college,” she replied apologetically, although that wasn’t the real reason. While she’d never admit it, she just wasn’t sure she could handle being in the same room as the happily coupled Violet and Andre, with a sad-faced Mike looking on. Unless she hadn’t actually told him yet?
Her head snapped up and she gazed at Violet, a question in her eyes, but her friend nodded again, and indicated their changed seating arrangements with a flicker of her eyes. Beth almost laughed, that yet again her younger friends were displaying so much more maturity than she was capable of.
“I’ll be in Smithfield tomorrow afternoon, picking up some stuff for Dad, so I could meet you when your classes finish, and we could head over together?” Mike suggested. He smiled as he said it, but his eyes were pleading. Poor thing, it was going to be so awkward for him to turn up tomorrow night – yet probably just as awful if he didn’t go at all.
Into the Storm: Into the Storm Trilogy Book One Page 39
