by Pema Donyo
“Still wish you were out there with me.”
I sighed. “I’d rather be working toward my degree. As long as I’m still doing what I can to weaken Covert Operatives, it’s enough.”
“Never imagined we’d be working to take down CO.” Adrian shook his head. The elevator opened, and we strolled out the front doors and into the chill of the D.C. air.
“Jack was never going to let you back into CO. Not after what you did.” I pulled my coat tighter around me and let go of Adrian. I stopped walking, turned to face him, and frowned. “Do you regret it?”
“Regret what?”
“Betraying CO. Running away with me.”
He didn't answer, and my eyes dropped to focus on the pavement. After a few more seconds of silence, I started walking forward and away from him. My shoulders were squared and my steps short.
Of course he regrets it. He was the next in line for CEO! He gave up his family, he gave up his money and power…
A hand gripped my shoulder, firm enough to stop me in my tracks. Adrian spun me around to face him.
“No. I don’t regret it.”
“I know how much you enjoyed the power, Adrian.” I glanced up with some reluctance, bracing myself for a brutally honest answer. “You don’t have to lie to me.”
“No more lies, remember?” His mouth twisted into an amused smirk. “We agreed—no more lies.”
“But you gave up so much.”
“And I gained.”
“What?”
“You.” His blue eyes told me he thought I was insane. “It’s crazy you still don’t believe me. You’re the reason the CIA trusted me enough to give me a job. You’re the girl who somehow forgave me for killing all those people. You’re the person who loves me even though I don’t deserve you. It’s all because of you.”
“Well, you’re the boy who gave up your position and all your power at Covert Operatives.”
Adrian brushed a stray lock of hair behind my ear. “Who says I can’t become director of the Central Intelligence Agency? No one said anything about me not having power in the future.”
Some things about him would never change. “Fair enough. It’s just, Covert Operatives was our home. I always thought you wanted it in your future.”
Adrian squeezed my hand, and I squeezed back. “I’d rather have you in my future.”
Snowflakes drifted onto my black coat as we walked along the sidewalk. The neon Christmas lights strung on the street lamps illuminated the night. I tugged on my gloves and nestled closer to Adrian, trying to warm myself against the DC chill.
“Do you miss him?” I whispered.
He combed a hand through my hair. Even though I’d cut it into a short bob, he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off it. “He never wanted me to be with you. He never wanted me to love anyone, or care for anyone except him.”
“Didn’t he care about you?”
Adrian scoffed. “He didn’t love me. I thought I could please him; I thought I could impress him with all those missions and even by breaking up with you and kidnapping you. But I didn’t need to impress you to gain your love. You always did what he could have never done.”
“Why did he want you?”
“He never told me, honestly.”
“Do you think CO will die with him?”
Adrian shrugged. “Doubtful. But we’ll try our best, won’t we?”
I nodded. “We will. I know what it’s like to not have a family. Sometimes I can’t believe you gave up yours.”
He cupped his hands around my cheeks. Warmth flooded my senses. “What I gained was worth more than what I gave up.”
CO was still out there, wreaking havoc on the world and killing innocents for the sake of money. Jack Waterman was still alive, no doubt searching for Adrian and me with a mission to kill.
Emma, Tristan, Lucy—I didn’t know what happened to them. Covert Operatives was biding their time, Adrian and I both knew, until they came back to eliminate us.
“Janey.” A cold wind whipped around us, matching the heavier snowfall dusting our hair and clothes. “You know they’re tracking us. I’m not going to be forgiven for betraying them.”
“I’m not either. We’ll find Covert Operatives first.”
“What happens when we find them?”
I didn’t hesitate to answer. “We destroy them. Them and the entire assassination business.”
Adrian chuckled and kissed the top of my head. “Can’t wait.” There was an edge to his voice, an undercurrent of intrigue. “How long do you think they’ll let us stay together like this?”
“Like what?”
“Undisturbed.”
“Not long now.” No more lies this time. “They’ll find us soon.”
The stars shone high above us, and I peered up to the twinkling lights. I pointed at a cluster of stars. Adrian followed my gaze without a word as we stared up at the lyre constellation together.
Orpheus couldn’t lose her again.
Maybe she wanted him to look back.
They never had the future they planned.
Not all things go according to plan.
About the Author
Coffee-fueled college student by day, creative writer by night. Pema Donyo currently lives in Southern California, where any temperature less than 70 degrees is freezing and flip-flops never go out of season. While she may never be a member of Covert Operatives, for the moment she is pretty content being a student at Claremont McKenna College. Find her chatting about coffee, college, and creative writing at pemadonyo.wordpress.com
Also from Astraea Press
Chapter One
Déjà Vu
MESSAGE > Create
Me again. Thnk goin mad. Mum wants me 2 c doc. (sad smiley) > Send
.
Megan Miller clutched her mobile phone like it was a lifeline to sanity. Texting Katie, wishing she were back with her mates, where life was normal. Where she wasn't hearing things and seeing things.
Where she wasn't being haunted.
She lay on the sofa staring blindly at the TV, insane thoughts running through her head. Trying to make sense of what had happened to her over this last week.
Was it only a week? It seemed a lifetime.
Her mobile tinkled out its familiar little tune and the line 1 new message appeared on the screen. She pressed View.
.
Mayb u shud. Poss u r stressed coz of movin hse & sch.
Miss u Katie xxxx (big smiley)
.
Megan closed her eyes. That wasn't what she wanted to hear. She wanted someone to understand and believe her. Now even Katie, who had been her best friend, thought she was crazy — and she didn't even know the half of it.
Looking back to the day she and her parents arrived here in the city should have warned her. She'd been positive she had been here before, despite her mum saying she hadn't. Of course then, those feelings of déjà vu hadn't seemed particularly important — odd yes, but not important. Everybody experienced déjà vu at some time or other. It didn't necessarily mean they had lived before, did it?
She'd never believed in reincarnation — only now she wasn't sure. Everything was confusing and frightening.
****
A week earlier, M6 southbound.
Megan's mobile buzzed and the words 1 new message appeared across the little screen.
"You're very popular today, Megan," her mum remarked, glancing back over her shoulder. Dad was at the wheel, humming along to some rock song on the car's CD player.
Megan took one earplug out of her MP3 player where she'd been listening to some real music. "I can't help it if my friends are missing me already."
"Who's this one from?" asked her mum.
Megan pressed View. "It's from Katie. She says she's looked on the Internet at my new school and it looks a dump." She groaned at her mum's horrified expression. "Chill! I'm only joking. She says it looks like my old school…" Her voice trailed away as the horrible homesick feeling came
back into her throat.
Yesterday had been awful, saying goodbye to all her mates, making promises to text and email each other every single day, but it wasn't going to be the same now. How could it be?
Her mum smiled sympathetically. "It'll be alright, Megan. You'll soon make new friends. If it's any consolation, it's the same for your dad and me. He's starting his new job and I won't know a soul. And it's a lot harder to make new friends when you're our age, believe me."
"Why?" asked Megan. "Don't friendships mean as much if you're only fourteen?"
"That's not what I meant and you know it."
Sighing, Megan tucked her corn-coloured hair behind her ear as she plugged her music back in, missing her friends more than she ever thought possible.
She closed her eyes as her music ran through her head — it was a song about lost love. That was something to be grateful for, she supposed. Leaving a boyfriend behind would have been a killer, bad enough leaving all her mates.
As the car journeyed on she must have slept, because she awoke with a jolt as her mum tapped her knee. "What?" she asked, puzzled.
"I said, we're nearly there." Mrs. Miller looked anxious. "I do hope you're going to like the house we're renting for the time being. It's just until we get a feel of the city, then we can buy a place that we all like."
"It's not home, so it's going to feel weird whatever it's like," Megan murmured feeling utterly miserable, thinking how sad and empty their house had felt as they'd finally closed the front door for the last time.
She bit her lip, staring blindly through the car window, trying hard not to cry. Her dad had done all the house hunting, travelling up and down the motorway for weeks on end, sorting everything out for them to re-locate from the North East to the Midlands.
She pressed Create Message, her fingers tapping out her thoughts to Katie.
.
Feelin sooo homesck. Missin u. (crying smiley) > Send
.
Ahead lay the sprawling city, their new home. A concrete jungle. She'd heard the phrase, now she understood what it meant. It was a mass of concrete, brick and glass, a mix of old and new — office blocks, flats, and old church spires.
Megan stared at the three church spires on the horizon and the strangest feeling swept over her. She sat bolt upright. "We've been here before!"
"Well I certainly have," remarked her dad. "I've been up and down this motorway like nobody's business these last few weeks."
Mrs. Miller glanced over her shoulder again. "You've never been here, Megan. You must be thinking of somewhere else."
"Yes I have! I'd recognise those spires anywhere. You've seen them before too, Mum — you must have."
"Yes, on my trips here with your dad, but you definitely haven't been here before, I guarantee it."
"I must have!" Megan argued. "I know this view. I recognise it from, well… ages ago."
Her mum shook her head. "Sorry Megan, but you're wrong."
"Well, how freaky!" Megan frowned, flopping back. It all appeared so familiar. She knew those spires. But even weirder was, for a minute the ache of homesickness, which had stuck in her throat since leaving home, had vanished. For a minute she wasn't homesick any more.
Just the opposite — it had felt like she was coming home.
