They both remained silent until Billy turned to her again.
“Why’d you go downstairs that night?” she asked.
“Business,” he said, “but if I couldn’t tell you then, why would I tell you now? It was business. Leave it at that.”
“Is it why you quit?”
“No.”
“Then you should’ve let it go, what happened at the bar. You shouldn’t’ve gone crazy.”
“Yeah, right, sure. And let those clowns have a laugh at my expense? Some cop’s wife flirting with some guy with the cop on the premises. Fuck that.”
It had to do with the night John Albano knocked him out in Eddie Vento’s bar. Billy had left her at the bar while he went to talk with Vento. Kathleen had mistaken his leaving her as a cue for one of their sex games.
They had often stopped in unfamiliar bars where she might flirt with strange men while Billy watched from a distance. It excited him to do so. The more engaged the stranger became, the more Kathleen flirted, the more intense was Billy’s excitement.
That night she had picked a man that had come in to use the pay phone, John Albano, except that night had been different. Billy knew the bar and had gone there to talk to someone in the basement. When he returned, he went crazy and things got out of hand before Kathleen knew it.
Then, two weeks ago, he’d been forced to resign. Kathleen had become concerned about their finances.
“What are we going to do about money?” she asked.
“We’re fine,” he said. “I told you we’re fine.”
“How so?”
“Don’t make me go into it now.”
“I was hoping we could go away this winter,” she said. “It’s been more than a year.”
“We went away last winter, or doesn’t Florida count?”
“Florida is boring.”
“We’ll go away when I have another job.”
“When you gonna look?”
“I’m out less than two weeks, you’re gonna break my balls?”
“You’re out of work three months. That desk job wasn’t work, even you said so. A few days and it’ll be two weeks you haven’t gotten paid.”
Billy made a gun with his right hand and shot himself in the head.
“Fine,” Kathleen said. “Make jokes.”
“It’s no joke, your ballbreaking lately.”
“Then I’ll go back to work. I told you I would. I don’t mind working.”
“Not yet.”
“We’re gonna need the money.”
“I said we’re fine.”
“I’m worried, Billy.”
“I’ll take care of it,” he said. “We’ll be fine.”
“I need to re-up at the gym this week.”
“So rejoin,” Billy said. “Just leave me alone about it already.”
Kathleen suddenly felt guilty for nagging him. She had read where men suddenly out of work went through a blue period and needed support. “Hey,” she said before she turned around and reached back to slap her ass. “If you want it to stay like this, I have to go to the gym.”
“I want it to stay like that,” he told her, “but right now I have to go out.” He stood up from the workbench, slipped the .38 into a small satchel and headed for the stairs. “I’ll bring back bagels for later.”
“Give me a kiss first.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’ll give me a hard-on and then I’ll be late.”
“So?”
“I’ll see you later.”
Kathleen watched him go up the stairs. The spin cycle on the washing machine suddenly stopped. She waited a moment and listened to his footsteps. When she heard the back door open, then close, Kathleen crossed the basement toward the laundry room. She opened the washer lid and gasped when she saw the water was tinged red.
Chapter 13
“What’s the problem, Nathan?” Nancy said. “What’s so important you’re hanging around this morning?”
He’d already taken Little Jack to camp and had stopped at the bagel place to pick up the cinnamon raisin she liked. He’d even brewed a fresh pot of coffee for when she came down and now she was still in a huffy mood, except today was different; today Nathan was no longer willing to ignore her attitude or pass it off to her not being a morning person.
It was about her never being home in the afternoon and he told her so.
“Since when do I have to answer to you?” Nancy said.
“Does that mean you won’t tell me?”
“It means what it means,” she said. She avoided his eyes and looked into her coffee before sipping it.
“Then I think we should talk about us,” he said.
“What’s wrong with us?”
“There isn’t any us. It’s you. It’s all you.”
“You saying I’m selfish, Nathan? Is that it?”
“You are, but it’s more than that. I think you know that.”
She stared him down then. “Now you’re going to tell me what I think?”
“No,” he said. “I have a pretty good idea what you think, but I’m putting an end to it.”
Nancy seemed amused. “Really?”
“You’re making a fool of me. I don’t know with whom and I don’t care. Either it stops or it’s over. We’re over.”
Nancy rolled her eyes. “Now you’re making a fool of yourself,” she said. “Accusations like that.”
Nathan didn’t respond.
Nancy got up to refill her cup.
“Is it about sex?” she asked. “Because I told you I’m afraid of getting pregnant again. The doctors told me it wasn’t safe for me to get pregnant anymore. I told you that.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“Excuse me?”
“Sex is only a part of the problem, Nancy. I think you know there’s more.”
“I’m expecting my period any day now. Would a hand job make you happy? If that’s what you want we can go upstairs now and I’ll do it. I won’t do the other. You know I won’t.”
“Don’t talk like that,” he said. “Not to me.”
She feigned a chuckle. “I don’t know how else to say it.”
“It’s insulting.”
“Why, because you play for the Philharmonic? I’ll bet the other men in that orchestra know what one is and probably talk like that all the time.”
“It’s the pretext of your conversation that’s insulting.”
“The what?”
“Don’t skirt the issue. It’s not about a hand job. It’s about us. Do you want to stay married or not?”
“Well, I did when I woke up this morning, but now I’m not so sure. Not if I have to account for every second of the day. Not if I have to wake up to this every morning.”
She couldn’t help herself, Nathan was thinking. She was a cheat and cheats lied. She had been lying since the first day they met and all through their marriage. Worse, he had been willing to go along with the lie for the sake of having someone. He’d blinded himself for the sake of company and now that he couldn’t live with the lie anymore he was forced to have this conversation and probably another few before he went to a lawyer and started divorce proceedings. He changed the subject rather than pursue what was hopeless.
“You should at least be more considerate of your son,” he said. “At least give him some attention.”
“I guess we’re finished discussing us,” she said.
“Be more considerate to the boy.”
“He’s my son, Nathan, not yours.”
“Yes, he is.”
Nancy slammed the cup down on the table, splashing most of the coffee onto the floor. “And what the hell do you know about being a mother?” she yelled. “And who the hell are you to tell me how to be one?”
Nathan wiped the coffee spill with paper napkins.
“He has a father, too, for your information,” Nancy said. “I don’t see him doing his share. He barely pays for his son.”
&nbs
p; “The boy loves his father and his father is strapped for cash. You should try and be more considerate of him, too.”
“And on that note, fuck you and fuck him and fuck everybody else,” Nancy said. She was up from the table now. She went to the sink and dropped her cup in it, cracking the handle. “I should be more considerate of everybody but myself. Is that it? I should stay home and play wife and mother and let everybody else do whatever the hell they want and I shouldn’t complain or God forbid do anything about it like try and get my hair done or go to the doctor or shopping for a pair of shoes I like because then I’m being too selfish. Meanwhile you go away with that orchestra, traveling all over the place, concerts in Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, and how the hell do I know you’re not screwing some bimbo in your hotel rooms? How do I know you’re not having a good old time yourself? Tell me that.”
Nathan finished wiping down the floor and table. He pointed to the coffeepot. “You want the rest of that?”
Nancy looked from his face to the pot.
“Do you?” he asked again.
Her eyes narrowed. Then she stormed out of the kitchen, through the living room and up the stairs.
“I guess not,” he said.
* * * *
Louis returned to work but was still itching. The doctor had prescribed a salve for the crabs the roller-skating skank had given him. It had eased some of the itching last night, but this morning he was late getting up and had rushed out of the apartment without reapplying the medicine. It was close to ten o’clock when he gave Nancy a call on the off chance she’d be awake early and was surprised when she answered the phone.
“Who is it?” she answered.
“Nan?”
“Louis?”
“Yeah, it’s me. What are you doing up so early?”
“Why’d you call then, to wake me up if I wasn’t?”
She had an edge to her voice Louis couldn’t afford to ignore. He’d have to find some extra time for her today. The problem would be the rash, although he was pretty sure he could work around that if he had to.
“I took a shot,” he said. “What you doing today?”
“Yeah, well, I was looking for you two days ago, but you never showed up to your apartment. I had a free afternoon and thought we might make the best of it. Too bad you weren’t interested then.”
He ignored her sarcasm. “You free today?”
“I don’t know. I think Nathan is going to leave me.”
“So?”
“I know, but I’m not sure it’s long enough yet. I mean, how much I’d get in the divorce.”
“You break his balls enough, he’ll probably give it all away to escape.”
“That supposed to be a compliment?”
“Lighten up. Can’t a guy joke?”
“Ha, ha, ha,” said Nancy with extra sarcasm.
He could envision her rolling her eyes and had to suppress the urge to hang up on her.
“Did you find out John’s schedule yet?”
“He came last night.”
“What do you mean?”
“He came last night.”
“You were supposed to let me know.”
“And how would I do that if you’re never around. Like I said, I went looking for you and you never came home. Didn’t they tell you at the bar? I was there the other night.”
“I haven’t been,” Louis said. “You find out how much gelt he’s carrying?”
“No. What was I supposed to do, ask? I don’t know. He’s supposed to come again Sunday, but he doesn’t always do what he’s supposed to. He’s like all my other exes, I guess.”
He could reach through the line and smack her, he was thinking. Instead, he rubbed his face in frustration.
“You free today or what?” he said.
“Why?”
“Because I’m horny.”
“Why don’t I believe you?”
Because you’re a ballbreaking bitch, he thought.
“I don’t know,” he said. “Aren’t you?”
“Aren’t I what?”
“I don’t have time for games today, Nan. You want to get together or what?”
There was a pause on the line.
“I’m hanging up in two seconds,” he said.
“What time?”
“Two hours. I’m on my way home now.”
“Okay, noon,” she said.
“See you later.”
She had started to say something else when Louis hung up. He was shaking his head when he saw a brand new red Cadillac Fleetwood Eldorado at a traffic light. The showroom sticker was still glued to the rear passenger window. It reminded him of what Jimmy the loan shark had said at the bar about some guy who had wanted the one used in the porn movie and what Nancy had mentioned about some hairdresser involved with the movie. The director, he thought; either him or one of the actors.
The guy who wanted the movie memorabilia, the way Jimmy had painted him, sounded like a sucker waiting to be taken. If Nancy’s connection panned out and he could get the director to maybe sign the paperwork, there might be a score to be made.
He had to see the damn movie already. Then, if he had to improvise, he would know what to look for on the used car lots.
It was something else to talk about with Nancy rather than listening to her same old beefs about them not spending enough time together. The woman could wear anybody down. Louis was surprised it had taken her latest husband this long to give up.
* * * *
John was still feeling good when he woke up for work in the morning. Even though Nancy had been a royal bitch when he dropped off the money he owed, he was able to spend some quality time with his son. He especially got a kick out of watching his boy try to eat his way through the banana barge he’d bought him at the Carvel, the way the kid had smeared the chocolate syrup all over his face and on his chin.
He could still feel the hug he’d exchanged with Little Jack before he left. John became emotional thinking about his son. It had become part of the process; whenever he spent time with the boy, a heavy dose of guilt followed upon dropping him off with his mother.
John didn’t see the old man when he left the apartment and wondered if Alexis Elias had found himself another date the night before. John smiled thinking about how many women the seventy-year-old had at least chatted up since the two men first met. He could think of six off the top of his head, three who lived in the building, one of them still married.
He stopped to light a cigarette at the curb. This morning he was determined to ask the builder if there would be any work the following week. It was best he knew sooner rather than later whether or not he could turn down Eddie Vento. It would come down to whether or not he had to drive car service again. If he did, he was going to take his chances working for Vento. If not and the builder had more work for him, John was going to turn Vento down.
He was hoping for the best when he crossed the street to his car and spotted the flat rear tire. He glanced at his watch and saw he didn’t have much time to change it. Then he saw the other rear tire was flat as well and he knew it wasn’t a coincidence.
Chapter 14
“I thought you guys worked in pairs?” George Berg said.
The detectives had formed a semicircle at the bottom of the stoop. All three presented their badges. Berg had just stepped out of the house and was still holding onto the screen door. He gradually let the door go and it closed behind him.
“It’s a special task force,” Kelly said. “I’m Kelly.” He stood between Brice and Levin. He motioned at each with his head. “Detectives Brice and Levin.”
“What’s a task force?” Berg said.
“A shit storm, you get caught in it,” Brice said.
Berg looked confused. “What’s it about?”
“A dirty movie,” Kelly said.
“Dirty how?”
The detectives looked at one another.
“What?” Berg said.
“Dirty like the kind perve
rts spank their monkey to,” Kelly said. “Except this one made headlines when the court declared it illegal. This one carries more than a smack on the wrist.”
“Deep Throat,” Levin said. “No doubt you never heard of it.”
“Never,” Berg said. “Deep what?”
“Throat,” Levin said. “As in giving a flagpole a blow job.”
Berg squinted. “A flagpole?”
“You rehearse this routine?” Kelly said. “Because we have routines we rehearse, too. One is when we cuff your hands behind your back.”
“Another is when we take you to a warehouse and beat you until we’re tired,” Levin said.
Kelly glared at Levin.
“You do know about the guy they found in a Queens dumpster, right?” Brice said. “Tommy DeLuca his name was.”
“Chopped his hands off,” Levin said. “Probably for stealing from the mob, but he was hustling the same movie we think you’re showing.”
Berg forced a laugh. “Buddy,” he said, “I wish I had a clue what you’re talking about, but I don’t. None whatsoever.”
“You’re not gonna talk to us, we could always spread a rumor you are,” Levin said. “The guys killed DeLuca might get antsy, think the wrong thing and fit you for a dumpster, too.”
Kelly’s eyes narrowed. He turned to Brice. “Take Levin for a walk around the block a minute.”
“Huh?” Brice said.
“Take Levin for a walk.”
Detectives Brice and Levin stepped away from the stoop. They walked out to the curb and then toward Brice’s car parked at the far corner. Kelly watched until they were out of view from the stoop.
Berg said, “The fuck was his problem?”
Kelly motioned toward the door. “Come on,” he said, “I gotta piss like a racehorse.”
* * * *
The builder didn’t have work the next week and probably wouldn’t for another two weeks at least, he told John. There were problems with a union delegate about using scabs. He’d been threatened over the phone the night before. The bonus, the builder had said, was there wouldn’t be any work after today because he’d had to give in and hire union help for Friday, even though he didn’t expect the guy the union would send would be worth fifty cents an hour, never mind the fourteen-dollar-an-hour scale he’d have to pay.
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