Priest placed his hand along the back of Arbor’s neck, unsure if he would accept any comfort more substantial. He was shaking so hard, and had yet to even meet his eyes.
His voice lowered to a whisper. “I never told anyone about this. Not even my mother.”
“Why not?”
Arbor gave a feeble shrug. “Because I feel so stupid about it. I didn’t even get raped, but I keep reacting like I did.”
Priest dipped his head down so Arbor could see into his eyes. “They used your size against you and made you feel powerless, right?”
“Yeah.” A ragged exhale and another tear fell.
“That sounds a lot like rape to me.”
An enormous pause followed as Arbor processed those words, and the severity of his tremors abated—not completely, but they quieted into something less frightening.
“Yeah. It suppose it does.”
Long minutes passed as Arbor sobered, Priest refusing to move. Arbor reached up and squeezed Priest’s arm. When his breathing slowed, he wiped his face and stiffened his back, looking a little ragged, but more like himself.
“We’re landing on Gamma Centauri tomorrow night. What do you do when you’re there?”
Priest shifted back, accepting Arbor’s evasion. The subject was hardly resolved, but this was enough for one day. He could respect that.
“There’s a tavern I like to stay at off the main drag called Avers Inn. It’s a little rough, but they’ve got good food, cheap drinks. You know, the staples of life.”
“We’re only staying forty-eight hours before we shove off again.”
“Yeah, but my leave got cut short last time. I want to have some fun before we ship off to Omoikane.”
“You got arrested with Costa McQuillen from what I heard.”
Priest picked his shorts back up off the floor. “Not one of my stellar moments. He was a snotty little bitch, but he’s turned around lately.”
“So I hear.” Arbor crossed his arms over his chest and turned his head. It sounded a little bit bitter. Was that a sneer?
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Priest slid his shorts over his hips and for the first time ever, Arbor wasn’t paying attention.
“I saw what happened in the showers. At least the beginning of it. I can pretty much imagine what happened next.”
“Spying on me?”
Arbor scoffed, but his tone lost none of its sharpness. “Hardly. I just walked in on seeing that pariah controlling the showers and climbing all over you.”
“A little jealous?” Priest mocked Arbor, but he was finding himself less sympathetic as he trash-talked about Costa.
“Not even for a second. I don’t know what you see in him.”
Priest shrugged. “He’s gorgeous and lets me fuck him. What other reason do I need?”
A disgusted glare accompanied Arbor’s words. “If you want that dirty freak touching you, that’s your fetish, not mine.”
“Could you stop calling him that?” Priest couldn’t help being defensive. Arbor had no right to be so foul.
“What? A freak? Pariah? It’s what he is.”
Priest couldn't believe what he was hearing from Arbor. The bigotry he was spouting was seriously pissing him off. “What’s your problem with Costa? He hasn’t done anything to you.”
Arbor bounced off the bed to the floor, his narrowed eyes never leaving Priest’s. “You don’t even know what he’s capable of, do you? He could be affecting your thoughts and forcing you to do what he wants.”
“Pretty sure I’d fuck him anyways.” The smug remark did its job and angered Arbor further, making his voice rise.
“I’m already pretty sure he’s responsible for random problems that are going on in the ship’s systems.”
Priest bent down so his face was in Arbor’s. “So what?”
“It’s only a matter of time before something bad happens.”
“Now you’re just imagining shit.” Standing tall, he turned his back on Arbor to try and control his rising temper.
“I should tell the captain about him and have him locked away.”
Priest spun and stalked in close to Arbor. “If you really wanted to do that, you’d have done it already. Why don’t you tell what’s really going on here, Arbor.”
“What do you mean?”
Priest shoved a stiff finger into Arbor’s chest as he spat. “You just have a problem with Costa because he’s para-human. Period. Nothing else. Fucking bigot.”
“That’s ridiculous.” Arbor slapped Priest’s hand away.
The rant came pouring out of Priest’s mouth. “You think I don’t see how you react to other people?—”
“Now you’re being as stupid as people say you are.”
“—how nervous you get around Erron’s green hair and stiff movements, or Teddy and Costa’s tattoos? You hate anything that doesn’t fit your fucked-up narrow standard of what’s normal.”
“And what’s wrong with wanting things to be normal?”
Priest’s volume went through the roof. “Guess what, Arbor? You need to stop hating everything that’s abnormal, because look in the fucking mirror! By your standards, you’re a walking advertisement for abnormal!”
The anger and shock splashing across Arbor’s scarlet face couldn’t be disguised. Snorting angry breaths, if he clenched his jaw any tighter, his teeth might crack. Pushing past Priest, Arbor snatched up his clothing. He shoved his feet into his pants, too much in a hurry to bother with his underwear.
“At least now I understand why you’d bother with me in the first place. You only want a man who can pass for a carnival sideshow attraction so you won’t feel so ordinary.”
Not even buttoning his pants, the rest of his clothing under his arm, Arbor jumped up and punched the door access, stomping out of Priest’s quarters.
Priest couldn’t punch the panel to close and lock the door fast enough.
THE BLACK CYLINDER was too light in Costa’s hand. It was the last dispenser he had, and the saving grace it contained—Calm—was low. If he didn’t find another source when they landed, he wasn’t sure what was going to happen. The dosages weren’t lasting as long as before and he needed more than usual to stave off the headaches. What had he done to himself?
He could fix this. He simply needed to make it to Omoikane. From there he could undo everything.
The door chime rang and he dropped the tiny lifeline to the floor. He gasped as it fell in slow motion, bouncing along the floor until it came to rest under the nightstand jutting from the wall, thankfully unbroken.
The chime rang again, interrupting his compulsion to retrieve the device. He was strong. It could sit there and he’d retrieve it later. It was not time for another dose.
“Just ignore it, Costa, and go and see who’s at the bloody door.”
The itch along the back of his hand made it tremble as he opened the door.
Priest stood in the doorway, wearing a red T-shirt and blue shorts, hair freshly damp from a shower. “Hey, Costa. Having a shitty day. Thought I’d see what you were up to. Can I come in?”
“If you must, but only for a short while.”
Costa’s gaze slid over to the Calm dispenser as he made room for Priest to enter. He appeared unaware of the towel still in his hand as he turned in the center of the room, weight shifting back and forth. When the door slid closed, Priest settled, but chewed his lip as silence filled the room. It ate at Costa and fed his impatience, making even semi-polite conversation an effort.
“By the way you’re fidgeting, I can only assume you have something you’re simply dying to say. Perhaps you could make it quick? I have several things that I need to be doing shortly.”
Priest cleared his throat. “It’s no secret between you and me that you’re para-human. I was just wondering…can you control people’s minds?”
“If you’re going to be absurd, you can sod off.”
Priest’s shoulders sank and he turned his head away and toward the floor.
“Sorry. It was a stupid question. I got into an argument with Arbor earlier.”
“Regarding what?”
“Over you. He saw what you did with the shower room the other night.”
Costa paused. Playing with Priest that way had been reckless no matter how much fun. It would only be a matter of time before his secret was spilled among the crew if he didn’t restrain himself in the future. How much damage had been done so far?
“Would he inform the captain?”
“I think he’d already have done it if he really cared. I think he’s more pissed at me than anything.”
Priest clasped his hands behind his back and rocked his weight on his heels. His face was nothing if not penitent. From what little Costa knew of the man, only one thing made him feel anything close to guilt.
“Is it your goal in life to have a row with everybody you sleep with?”
Priest scrunched his brow as he stared off at nothing in particular. “Sure looks that way, don’t it?”
A growl barely stayed silent as Costa’s edginess bordered on impatience. He needed Priest’s help ultimately, but if he was torn between romantic engagements, it would certainly make things more difficult. Having the man show up at his quarters to deal with the debris of a disagreement with another man was not at the top of his list. In fact, hearing about it was grating his already frazzled nerves.
“Are you all right? You look like you’re having another headache.” Priest’s concern was oddly welcome to hear.
Costa reached up and rubbed the aching point between his brows. “I wouldn’t go as far as saying another headache. It’s more like the same one that never seems to end. It’s simply a question of how strong it is from one day to the next.”
“How strong is it today?”
“Tolerable—”
Costa shrieked as a dagger of white-hot agony seared through his skull. All at once, he could sense everything. All the voices, all the data, every scrap of information down to its essential binary code crashed through his thoughts at once.
His head was too full. How far could he go before it exploded?
“Costa! What’s wrong?”
Knees slamming into the floor, Costa curled into a ball, trying to hide away from the shocking invisible noise. It was too much to absorb, and instinctively he pushed it away, vainly trying to save himself.
“Holy shit!”
Costa heard Priest's scream, but he had other worries. He felt the monitors burst with energy and the lights strobed out of control. Mrs. Claus began screaming out incoherent commands, her deafening consciousness clashing with his own and splintering. The room filled with audible debris, choking his ears. He could feel Priest’s hands on his body, trying to settle him down, but he was being lost in ones and zeroes.
The door lock engaged. Every attempt to center himself and stop the chaos was only causing more. Priest was trapped in here with him and he could feel the environmental systems collapsing. If something didn’t happen soon, cold and lack of oxygen would take over and this would be their tomb. The thought of others dying filled him with despair.
No. He’d come too far. He couldn’t fail now.
Forcing his eyes open, he managed to focus on the black dispenser under the nightstand. Every centimeter of his body screamed at him as he scratched at the floor, struggling to crawl to the tiny object of salvation.
He snatched up the little device, desperately trying to shut out the cacophony around him. Ignoring the spike of binary overflow driving through his skull, he tilted his head back and opened his mouth. Nothing happened. He fumbled with the cylinder, his fingers too numb to dispense it.
The terrified sob wrenched out of him. He couldn’t save them.
“I got you.” Priest pulled Costa back against him. He took the dispenser and aimed it over Costa’s waiting tongue. One drop hit, and Costa urged him for one more. The metallic taste ran down his throat, the drug instantly absorbing through the skin.
The noise and pain retreated, and he was able to put the tech back in place once again. The room calmed as he settled into the arms surrounding him.
“Are you okay, Costa?”
Costa nodded, too numb to speak out loud while he waited for everything to settle. This was one thing he’d never wanted anyone to witness. The humiliation only lasted until the heat from the Calm suffused through his flesh, bringing a rush of joy and contentment.
“What is this shit?”
Normally, he would stay silent, but the warmth of the Calm made Costa want to be compliant. “It’s called Calm.”
“I thought that stuff was supposed to turn off your powers.”
Costa shook his head, a light giggle escaping him. “Not anymore. My skills are much stronger these days. It does, however, rein them in and make them more manageable.”
“How long does it last?”
“Not anywhere nearly as long as it used to.” The fact didn’t bother Costa so much at this point and time. The Calm was doing a fabulous job of adding sunshine to his world.
“How much more do you have?”
A sad, dramatic sigh issued out of Costa. “What’s in that dispenser is the last of my store.”
“This feels almost empty.”
Costa ran a finger along the cylinder's shell. “I’ve rationed it out to the best of my ability, but I wasn’t supposed to be in space this long. Being arrested and missing my flight to Omoikane wasn’t in my original plan. I only came to the Santa Claus because you were heading there in spite of the extended time line.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“I need to find a chemist on Gamma Centauri who can make a new supply for me.”
“I might know a guy.”
Sitting upright, Costa smiled at Priest’s willingness. He’d never needed him more.
“I had hoped that you could help me, Priest, but you must be aware that this is completely illicit. If either one of us gets caught, I can’t even begin to explain the consequences.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll com him once we get closer and set up a meeting for you.”
“Thank you, Priest. You treat me better than I deserve at times.” A new heat rose in Costa’s chest. His pulse quickened and every square centimeter of his flesh felt so wonderfully sensitive. The urge to touch and be touched grew with every second.
Looking closer at Priest, Costa could see by the way his loose clothing draped over his chest and hips there was nothing underneath. The thought was simply too compelling. He crawled into Priest’s lap, facing him, and began stroking his nipples through the red material.
“What are you doing?”
“Thanking you.” He cupped the firm flesh of Priest’s chest. The pressure in his palms sent rushes along his arms and into his spine.
Priest grabbed Costa by both wrists and pulled his hands away. “No. This isn’t right.”
“Are you saying that you don’t find me attractive?” With his wrists confined, Costa leaned forward and ghosted a husky exhale along Priest’s neck. When Costa’s tongue snaked out, he tasted the salt and hint of soap still present on his skin.
“I never said that.” A shudder came over Priest as his hold on Costa’s wrists drifted away.
“Then you should allow me to continue.” Costa stood just long enough to divest himself of his lounging pants before settling back into Priest’s lap.
“Maybe we shouldn’t—” A soft, wet kiss silenced Priest, who returned the kiss with restraint, but didn’t stop.
Costa moaned as he ground his bare erection against Priest and was greeted by a fresh hardness Priest’s shorts couldn't restrain. “Shh, Priest. I know you want me. I can feel it.”
“But…” Priest’s eyelids were beginning to gain weight and his voice was more breath than words.
“I need your skin against me.” Costa planted hungry kisses on Priest's lips, jaw, and throat. “I need you inside me. Don’t be gentle. Just take me. Please.”
“But…”
Costa co
uld feel Priest’s resistance crumbling under each swipe of his tongue and each grind of their cocks. “Now.”
Nodding in silent need, Priest shimmied out of his shorts and rolled Costa onto his back, where he braced himself against the bed and nightstand.
Chapter Eight
GAMMA CENTAURI LOOKED like every other planet from orbit. Blue water, green continents, and white swirls of clouds interrupted the surface like an antique glass marble. Suspended in the vast blackness, holographic images of the globe were available in every tourist shop Priest ever found in port. The image drew the fascination of voyagers who couldn’t capture it for themselves but were willing to pay for the unique opportunity.
Priest understood. He used to be one of those people. It’s why he’d become a pilot on the Santa Claus. Every time they approached a planet, his chest fluttered knowing he was experiencing something so many others did only through a media proxy. It made him feel special. It made him feel unique.
But today he didn’t care.
Sitting in the pilot’s chair with Teddy at the navigator seat beside him, Priest waited for clearance from the station on the main continent. Once they received it and the flight path telemetry were sent, Teddy would feed it to the goggles sitting on top of his head. From there, it was his job to land this giant craft.
Usually, he couldn’t wait to get into the pilot’s seat. But today, he couldn’t muster up the enthusiasm.
Teddy swatted him on the shoulder. “Priest. You’re up.”
“What?” Priest looked around, confused, following Teddy’s finger until it led to the flashing data on his dashboard. Flight information was uploaded and the ship was cleared for landing. “Oh. Sorry.”
“You all there, Priest?” As usual, Danverse was supervising from his podium.
“I’m good, Captain.”
He slipped the goggles over his eyes and the flight path and relevant data scrolled over the lenses. Turning on the inertial dampeners, he took the controls and steered the ship for the planet.
Priest and Pariahs Page 12
