by Moxie North
“I’m sure there are plenty around here that would agree with you, but it’s not that simple. No trees means no paper,” he said holding up the syllabus that had been handed out. “No buildings, no desks, so many things rely on wood. My family cuts down trees and replants more than we take. We manage our forests, the rivers, and streams. We consider ourselves guardians of Mother Nature. She gives, but we give back more. We’ve been doing it for generations and I’ll be proud to carry on that legacy. Besides, the bunnies and deer are smarter than most people they figure things out on their own.”
Quinn cocked her head at him. “You’re a real do-gooder aren’t you?”
“I’m not sure about that. I try to do the right thing. I treat people fairly; I work on my flaws, and hope that someday I’ll make my family and my future partner proud of me.”
“Future partner? Are you gay?” She’d blurted it out and it clearly wasn’t a well thought out question. Her expression even showed her own shock at what she said.
Rain gave a jolt. “That’s a personal question. I only asked if you were still in the dorms and you jumped to conclusions. Now you want to know where I put my cock?” He saw her flinch at that word and realized it might be too abrasive.
“First, eww. Second, sorry that was rude. You just said partner and that’s where my brain jumped. I’m looking for a no-strings male to hang with. I want someone to go to the movies with someone that won’t complain that they are off butter, or salt, or air.”
“Get a lot of that do you? You’re friends sound a little high maintenance.”
“I wouldn’t call them friends. I’m really good at making acquaintances. I tried to have friends, or I used to. But I guess I’m just better off alone. I’m pushy, I like what I like, and I’m terrible at sharing. Most friends tire of me before long. And I’m not saying that in a woe is me kind of way. Believe me, I’d get tired of myself too,” she said with a self-deprecating laugh.
“I’m thinking you just haven’t met the right friend yet. Someone tall, handsome, incredibly patient, and happy to let you be you.”
She gave him a surprised look and then looked away uncomfortably. Clearing her throat she asked, “You’re not intolerant of any food groups are you? I really try to be sensitive, but I get sick of sitting in committee meetings discussing gluten-free donuts versus no donuts at all. Let the donuts be! Free the donut!” She raised her hand in the air in a militant pose.
Rain enjoyed her enthusiasm. She was funny, smart, and even more beautiful close up. She also seemed to be a little broken, but strong because of it. Add to that the fact that she liked donuts, and he was sure that there were more things to love about her.
“I have zero food issues unless you count the need for a ridiculous amount of fake butter on my popcorn at the movies. And I have to have Red Vines. I replace the straw in my drink with them and some people think it’s gross.”
“I have never heard of that before. It’s genius! You almost have a Cherry Coke that way.”
“Yup, my sister-in-law showed me that trick. Changed my life.”
Quinn tilted her head to the side. “You must live a very quiet life, Rain.”
He didn’t deny it. “I have up to this point. I never was one that needed to be constantly entertained or seek out a new adrenaline rush. I think waking up every morning, being able to step outside and fill my lungs with air, is pretty damn exciting. I may be letting my generation down. I just don’t see the point in trying to impress anyone.”
“So if you aren’t a thrill seeker. What do you like to do?”
Rain stepped over to an empty desk and sat down. Her continued questions didn’t show an end to their conversation and if he sat, he hoped it would keep her talking.
“I like being in the woods. Seattle is fine, but I belong in the forest. Near the ocean and the mountains is the best. I spend time with my new niece and nephew when I’m home. Oddly, I even enjoy spending time in the offices of the businesses and reorganizing them so that my uncles can’t find anything.” The thought made him grin. It wasn’t uncommon for him to get phone calls or emails full of cursing because someone couldn’t find something. His cousins would get in on it too, but they ran things more nowadays anyway.
“You like kids? Do you have any?”
“No, I don’t have any, do you?”
“No, I managed to avoid that little epidemic in my high school.”
“I do like kids, at least the ones related to me. My brother had twins last year. A boy and a girl.”
“Your brother had twins? I must have missed that medical breakthrough on the news,” she said sarcastically.
“You know what I mean.”
“That men think they are crucial in giving birth when historically they were never even allowed anywhere near the process?”
“Well, my brother and my cousin, the doctor, sat back while my mom, my sister, and a few other key women in the family helped his partner give birth at home. Having twins at home is a long process that she says she wouldn’t have been able to do without the support and love of my brother. So in the right circumstances, yes, I think men can be crucial in the process. I think most men have been told they don’t have a place in the birthing process and that they aren’t necessary, so they’ve lost the confidence to support their women when it comes to birth and childcare.”
She was quiet as she watched him. “I really don’t want to like you, but I’m enjoying our conversation.”
“Why don’t you want to like me?”
“Because you’re a man taking a woman’s class. You’re handsome and I’m sure you know it, and have used it to your advantage. You like mansplaining things to people, and worse, you don’t even know you’re doing it. Still, you can hold a conversation and I find that almost a rarity around here.”
“I certainly don’t think I’m mansplaining anything. I’m just giving you my opinion on the subject. I’m sorry if it differs from yours. I have utmost respect for women. I think if fewer people considered this a woman’s class, more men would be comfortable taking it.”
Chapter 8
Quinn wasn’t sure what to make of this guy. He was smart, and could have a conversation that didn’t revolve around stories about how much beer he could pound. She wasn’t immune to his good looks. He was dressed casually, in very typical dreary weather attire. It didn’t matter if the sun was out, it could still be raining around Seattle.
She really wanted to not like him, and the feeling that he was invading a girls club was hard to push away. Quinn definitely considered herself a feminist, her mother had raised her to be a little militant in her views, and she wished it hadn’t been that way. Still, it made her have to figure out her own opinions even when they differed from her mom’s. She wanted equal rights for women. It wasn’t a new idea, but one that she still thought wasn’t nearly close to being accomplished. Those that would often join her in different events or groups had a much harder line about what they thought feminism was about.
Quinn believed everyone was allowed their own views. But inside a cause, differing ideas often caused conflict amongst those that should be a united front. She felt equality was a right and that was where she focused her efforts.
She conceded that having a man in the class could be a good thing. You can’t complain that someone won’t change if you don’t provide the information and tools to help make those changes a reality. It still wasn’t easy. There was a rooster in the hen house, and the part of her that didn’t like to share wanted to tell him that he should find somewhere else to find his credit.
Another part of her liked talking to him, and that he was apparently being honest, even candid with her. Her radar was not pinging that this guy was full of shit.
“I have to say, Rain. You are making a little too much sense for me. Although I’ll tell you that not everyone will be so welcoming to you in the class. I’m not saying it’s right, but they have their reasons to maybe feel like you’re in their space.”
&n
bsp; “What makes it their space? The last time I checked this was not a gender segregated school.”
“No, it’s not. But some of our classes are spawned out of need. The changing times and new careers are the reasons we have classes like History of Feminism. Getting an education doesn’t always directly link to a requirement for a degree.”
“Does everyone have to be represented to get an education? Who decides what classes are worth having? Isn’t someone always being left out?”
“Are you saying that everyone doesn’t deserve to be represented?”
“That’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying I think we could get a lot farther if we focused on our common ground instead of our differences. Say, this is getting pretty deep. I think we should maybe save something to talk about for the next time we are alone together. Are you hungry? I could use something to eat.”
Quinn didn’t want to stop chatting. It had been a while since she talked to someone that didn’t think about things the same way she did. She liked it. The debate was fun. But they were getting awfully deep for two people that just met. It also didn’t hurt that she didn’t want to not like him. Normally she wouldn’t care. A guy was a guy, and in her experience, they were generally all the same. She had hopes for those that managed to make it through their late teen years without becoming a permanent douchebag, and Rain seemed like one of those potentially rare non-creepy guys.
“Is this a date? I don’t date. I mean I do, but not with strangers.”
“No, if I was to ask you out for a date, I’d be more formal about it and plan something before asking you. This is just mutual food consumption. I could go for some Dick’s.”
Quinn couldn’t help but let out a coughing giggle.
“Really? You’re going to laugh at that? Are you not a local?”
“I was born and raised in Yakima. I admit I haven’t completely understood the fascination with that particular burger.”
“Now you have committed a grievous offense. I’ll take you for some Dick’s. Stop giggling and we’ll talk about some frivolous topics.”
“Getting into a car with someone that I hardly know is not a very smart thing to do.”
“We could take the bus?”
“Wow, really not a date then.”
“I can drive if you want. I could even see if my brother is around to go with us or you could invite a friend. Let’s keep it casual.”
“My roommate is a hardcore vegan. I’ll need to brush and floss before I go back to our room. Alright, in the spirit of making smart choices, let’s bus it.”
“Sounds good.”
She gathered up what she needed and grabbed her backpack.
“Can I carry that for you?”
“Did you just ask to carry my books? Is this an afterschool special?”
“No, just being a gentleman.”
“I’ve been carrying my own books for many years now.”
“Sure you have. Wouldn’t it be nice for someone else to offer to carry them?”
They started out of the classroom, her backpack slung over one of her shoulders.
“Are you implying that I’m not strong enough, that I need a man to do it?”
“Again, no, it’s about accepting an offer of help without putting your own hang-ups on it. If you helped me out with something, would it be because you had the ability to help me or because you thought I couldn’t do it myself? I just want to help.”
Quinn heard the tone in his voice. It wasn’t patronizing, even though she really wanted it to be. It would help with some of the attraction she was feeling.
“I guess if I think of you as a pack mule, it won’t bother me so much.” Quinn slung the backpack off and held it out.
Rain smiled at her and took the bag. They walked outside towards the street. There were plenty of bus stops around campus and the buses ran all the time. Stopping at a covered bench area, she took a seat and Rain leaned against a support post.
He stared down at her and his eyes were soft, but at the same time assessing. Quinn didn’t think she ever had anyone look at her the way he was looking at her. It made her feel warm and a little confused. It had been years since she had thought about a guy that way. It was too easy to stay focused on her schoolwork and her extracurricular activities.
She wasn’t about to let a cute boy derail her plans for the future. But grabbing a burger was just a friendly thing to do. And they were taking the bus, so it wasn’t like he could steal her away somewhere. But she didn’t want to think he was the type to do something like that. But it was thinking like that that could get a girl in trouble.
“What are you looking at, Rain Rochon? I can see the steam coming out of your ears.”
His expression didn’t change when he said. “I’m looking at you. Trying to memorize how you look.”
That was a particularly odd thing to say. “Why would you need to memorize me? Do you have short term memory problems? I saw a telenovela once where this woman could only remember what happened in the past, but not make any new memories.”
“We’ll table the telenovela portion until I have some food in my stomach. As to your other question, I’m staring at you because I’m going to want to remember the day I met you for a very long time. I don’t want to miss any details.”
“You think that you will even remember my name after this class is over?”
“I guarantee that I’ll never forget your name. You’re too important.”
Quinn thought that was far from the truth. “I’m nobody important. I’m just like thousands of other girls that go to school here. I have no big aspirations. You won’t see my name in the news or in history books. I used to think that I was going to make my mark in the world. Make a difference, change the way things worked. As the years went by, I found that my goals were much smaller. I want to make a difference for people like me. I’m going to become a social worker. I’d love to say that I’ve made a difference even here, but I feel like I’ve barely made a dent.”
“I can’t believe that. I have managed to avoid anything not academically related for three years. You though, you look like a joiner.”
“I suppose I am. My freshman year I joined every group that would have me. Then I realized that there were only certain groups that were, well, not so concerned with making a difference as they were social clubs with impressive names that made you think that it was just a matter of will to change the world.”
“Is the group process that complicated?”
Quinn gave a snort. “I find it more complicated every day. Things that seem so obvious to me, yet I see others that are completely blind to them. I get frustrated because if they would just listen…”
The bus pulled up and they both got on. Taking seats near the back, Quinn ran her finger over the condensation on the window.
“I think that asking people to change who they fundamentally are is impossible,” she said to the window.
“Why should anyone change?”
“Because ignorance will only lead to more pain and suffering.” Quinn didn’t think this was a hard concept. It was one that she fervently believed in and was the only reason she kept trying to make a difference.
“That’s only if you believe that you’re right and they’re wrong.”
Quinn looked away from the window at him. He wasn’t trying to be cruel; he was very simply making a statement. It made her want to throw something at him.
“If they are?”
“Because you believe it? They might not think they are wrong. Odds are that they’re thinking the same thing about what you believe. It’s hard to convince someone to see the world in a different way when the first thing you do is insult their intelligence or perhaps their upbringing by telling them that they’re acting improperly. I know that I wouldn’t be open to hearing anyone else that told me I was wrong or bad for the way I thought or the way I was brought up. I’d resist, maybe even dig in on my beliefs. I might even resist seeing another point of view out o
f spite.”
Quinn thought that was a pretty obstinate thing to say and wanted to call him on it. And a few years ago she would have, telling him that he was ridiculous to ignore the truth. Now, after seeing people choose to remain ignorant in the face of change, she could see that he was speaking truthfully. People were obstinate, they didn’t like being told when they were wrong, and they certainly didn’t want to admit that they needed to change.
“Why are people so complicated?”
“If they weren’t, think how little we would have advanced as a people? Our conflicts give us a chance to recreate ourselves. Isn’t it wonderful?” he said with a smile.
“You’re crazy, you know that?”
“I just believe even with all the troubles we have in the world, we would get much farther if we took the time to seek out the good in people before the bad. Hate never gets us anywhere.”
Damn, he was good. And again, she didn’t want him to be good, she wanted him to say something she could get angry at. She had an arsenal of comebacks for ignorant assholes and misogynist dickheads that she had built over the years. It was a shield of attitude that she could pull up at any time, but she had a sneaking suspicion that this time, it wasn’t going to work. There wasn’t going to be a mental block for this man. It was inconvenient and irritating. It would also help that when her mind wanted her to remember how good looking he was she could override the urge by remembering he was a jerk.
Quinn couldn’t hide her look of confusion.
“Okay, I think we should switch topics. Tell me something I don’t know about you,” he said.
Quinn was grateful for the distraction from the thoughts swirling in her head. “That’s pretty much everything, isn’t it?”
“Not true, I know that you’re going to be a social worker, that you are involved in lots of groups and that you are set enough with credits that you aren’t scrambling around to take last minute classes like me.”
