Rainier

by Moxie North

  “Baby,” he said panting, “Off your knees.” He reached down and pulled her up against his body, laying them both back on the bed. He kissed her as soon as he could reach her mouth. “You, my love, are amazing. Thank you.”

  “Are you going to thank me every time I suck your cock?” She was grinning so he decided to play along and pretended to think.

  Looking back at her he said very solemnly, “Yes.”

  She broke into peals of laughter and he couldn’t believe how lovely she was when she laughed. In that moment he knew without a doubt that he would die for her, kill for her, go to the ends of the earth to make her happy. She was his heart from now until forever.

  “I’ll keep that in mind for the future.”

  Rain didn’t want to acknowledge the future comment but it still felt good. He let it sink into his souls. If she could start thinking about them in future terms, his next plans might not make her so skittish. He fell asleep thinking about what he needed to do to make her life easier. She was going to fight him on it, he was sure, but it would be worth it.

  Chapter 29

  Their stay at the Four Seasons seemed like it was weeks ago instead of two days ago. Quinn and Rain had to check out the next morning after a ridiculously lavish breakfast and one more trip through the giant marble shower. Quinn found that she was sad to leave. That hotel room was like another world. One where anything was possible and she could allow herself to feel the things that she’d once considered forbidden.

  It was easy to feel those things about Rain. He was good. Like deep down, soul deep good. It was unnatural, and made Quinn feel totally inadequate. Who would have thought that spending a night with a virgin would make her feel like the one without any experience?

  He fell into the couple thing so easily. It was like he’d done it before even though he swore he hadn’t. She believed him now. It was something inside herself that told her to trust him and let that part of her worry go. Rain Rochon was a gentleman. An honest to god, hold the door open, hand at the small of your back gentleman.

  It was a measure that Quinn had unknowingly established from watching too many romantic movies. The hero in those movies seemed to orbit around the object of their desires. She’d always thought it was a Hollywood trick.

  Except that from the moment she’d met Rain, he had been holding her hand, positioning her away from cars or traffic, offering her food, or checking her temperature. That was a big thing for him. He’d literally asked her dozens of times if she was warm enough.

  She wasn’t incapable of caring for herself. She’d been doing it for a very long time, and it was a heady responsibility knowing that she had someone that would jump for her if she asked. She also had to wonder if there was a limit to that selflessness and care. Could she be too much of a taker? Yet, Rain didn’t seem to mind. He’d smile when she accepted anything he offered. It made him happy to take care of her, that was clear. So who was she to deny him a little happiness?

  “Keep telling yourself that,” she murmured. She was sitting in the child development class that she was taking as an elective. They were supposed to have broken up for group work and she must have looked like she’d scratch out anyone’s eyes that approached since they’d all found other partners. She didn’t care, it was a role-playing assignment, and it wasn’t something she was at all comfortable with. It was awkward and made her stand out even more that she didn’t have the empathy skills she needed. Quinn imagined that Rain was all empathy.

  The idea of feeling for someone that was going through something you hadn’t was odd. Why not just leave them to their own life? Why does everyone have to have feelings for others?

  “You are going to rock as a social worker,” she mumbled.

  When it came to dealing with children, Quinn had tons of sympathy because she’d been through some of the same things they were struggling with. It was adults she tended to want to smack and tell them to figure it out for themselves.

  Watching her fellow students pretending to be children was beyond obnoxious. She glanced up at the clock and saw there were another ten minutes left in the class. Was she grumpy because she had seen too much of Rain, or not enough?

  He’d walked her back to her dorm after their morning class together and promised to call her later. He did, right on time, and they talked until they were both drowsy and finally hung up. Thursday she had to work so she texted him and he showed up at her door when she was leaving with a coffee in hand and a kiss. It was a really good kiss, so she forgave him for creeping outside her door.

  “Are you following me?”

  “Nope, I’ve got plans today. Just wanted to make sure you had your caffeine before your shift. Be careful, look both ways before crossing the street, and don’t talk to strangers.”

  She shook her head at him like he was nuts. “My job is talking to strangers all day, Rain.”

  “Well, try really hard to just guess what they want. You never know what kind of insane juice maniacs there are out there.”

  “I’ll take that into account. Okay, well bye?”

  “Bye, baby,” he said, kissing her hard and fast.

  He walked away from her but then turned back and smiled and waved. She’d realized she’d been watching to see if he turned around. Of course he did.

  She had to wonder if she would have turned back. Her immediate answer was no. But that was a total lie, she would have looked back to see if he was watching her walk away. Damn him. A few days in and she was a love junkie.

  This is what made women so stupid. Love was a blinding fog that made everything seem warm and fuzzy. It was like an illusion that you were more than happy to fall into.

  She hadn’t seen him since yesterday. There had been texts and a totally inappropriate round of phone sex last night, which had been totally hot.

  Now she didn’t have plans for the rest of the afternoon and she didn’t know what she was going to do with herself. Not knowing if she’d see him, she changed out of her work shirt before she left.

  She looked down at her faded Firefly t-shirt, that said, Not to fret, everything’s shiny captain, it was one of her favorites but had a fair sized hole in the hip. She didn’t want to spend the money on replacing it right now. Especially since she was saving up for the summer and her eventual need to move into her own place. There were going to be electric and internet bills to contend with soon.

  There might have also been a part of her that was starting to wonder what Rain thought of her clothes. Did she dress too… un-feminine? Or maybe he’d like it if her hair was more normal? Brown, or blonde maybe. He’d never said that he didn’t like it. In fact, he rarely looked at her clothes. He was always so focused on her face.

  The possibility that she was in a shitty mood because she missed him was becoming more obvious.

  She glanced up at the clock at the same time her phone buzzed in her pocket. It was a text from Rain.

  Sorry, I was going to meet you after class. I need to run an errand, but will meet you at your room later?

  A weird knot formed in her stomach as the thought of seeing him later made her happy. Then the knot twisted as she realized that he wasn’t going to be waiting for her when she walked out of class.

  It didn’t set well with her that she was already feeling like she needed him to feel right or whole. That was scary as shit, and Quinn wasn’t sure that she could give up that much control.

  Texting him back she said it was fine and she’d see him later. She resisted asking where he was going and who he was going with. That would be crazy girlfriend territory and she was stronger than that.

  Glancing up when people started to move, she saw that class was breaking up. She made a beeline for the door so she wouldn’t have to wait for the crowd of slow walkers to meander out. Quinn kept her head down and went straight back to her dorm. Keeping her eyes on her feet, she managed to not bump into anyone on the way back. She felt like crying. That pissed her off and scared her at the same time.

&nb
sp; She made it to her building and ran up the stairs. Fumbling for her keys she stopped short when a pair of high-heeled black boots with ankle chains wrapped around the leather came into view.

  Those boots were familiar, oh so familiar. She let her eyes roam up the tight stretch pants to a crop top with fringe along the bottom that said Drunk Dingo in gold glitter writing. The shirt was covered with an old black leather jacket that was cracking along the creases that showed just how old it was. She wanted to stop at the jacket, but she had to keep going. Bright red lips, platinum blond hair that was long and braided, except for the teased bangs that were straight out of the nineties.

  Then she got to the eyes. The eyes that were identical to hers. Still pretty after all these years, even under a heavy layer of black smoky eye shadow.

  The woman looked her up and down then reached into her mouth with a hand sporting dagger-like orange acrylic fingernails and pulled out a wad of gum.

  “What? You don’t have a hug for your momma?”

  Letting out the breath she had been holding, Quinn waved weakly. “Hi, mom.”

  Chapter 30

  Quinn felt a bubble of hysterical laughter well up inside her. Of course her mother was standing at the door to her room. Why wouldn’t she be? Just because she’d never visited at any point in the last three years didn’t make this odd. Oh no, totally expected and unsurprising, like finding out your sixth and seventh toes wasn’t what everyone else had. Or that the reason that you never saw your cat Fluffy anymore wasn’t because he went to live on a farm.

  “Mom, what are you doing here?”

  “I don’t even get a hug?”

  Yup, totally weird. Her mother was not a hugger. Not that it had never happened. There were moments in her life that her mother would awkwardly embrace her and she would try to hug her back. It was just uncomfortable all around.

  Giving up, she leaned in and wrapped her arms around her mom’s waist. Her mom pulled her in tight and Quinn could hear her sniffing loudly.

  Pulling back she looked up at her mom. “Are you sniffing me?”

  “Is that a new perfume? You smell different.”

  “I could probably use a shower, thanks for noticing.”

  “Quinnlynn, don’t get all sassy with me just because I’m asking a question. Aren’t you glad to see your momma?”

  “I guess I’m just a little surprised, that’s all. Why are you here?”

  “I called your phone a few days ago and some weird guy answered. I think he was high. He said you were in the shower which I thought was odd that he’d be answering your phone, but then he explained that he was your roommate’s boyfriend. He did give me some interesting information about what you’ve been up to.”

  Quinn was going to put a reminder on her schedule to kick Lars’s ass next time she saw him. He hadn’t even bothered to tell her that she’d called.

  Knowing this wasn’t a conversation for the hallway, she reached past her mom and opened her door. Her mom strode into her room like she owned the place, all exaggerated butt wiggle and everything. Her mom kept glancing back at her with a side-eye. Her eyes had an air of suspicion and glint of anger in them. Quinn knew that this wasn’t going to be an easy conversation and she had hoped it was something she could have put off for a very long time.

  Closing the door behind her she leaned up against it as her mom wandered around her room picking things up putting them back down. Three years and her mother had never been to her dorm. To other kids that might seem weird but it was par for the course for Quinn and her mother’s relationship.

  Quinn would be damned if she spoke up first. Her mother was the one that crashed her party. Showing up unannounced and now poking and prodding her way through the only space Quinn had ever made her own.

  Since the minute she had gotten her scholarships to go to school, Quinn had been on her own. Her mother had never offered to buy books or sent her any money to live on. That was up to Quinn to figure out. As far as her mother knew, she was sleeping on a bare mattress and sporting shoes with holes in them. Of course, her mother would have just said that if she didn’t like living that way she should get to work and change it.

  So she didn’t fault her mom for not coddling her. She got a birthday and Christmas present each year from her mom. Usually it was something like condoms, or a switchblade for protection. Some people might like those as gifts, but just once she’d have liked something that told her that her mom really knew her. Hell, she’d take practical items, shampoo, soap, or things she had to spend money on.

  “Mom, why are you really here?”

  “Because, young lady, that stoner I talked to said you were getting ready to go out on a date. I assured him that you weren’t the dating type. Then he started laughing maniacally, which was super creepy and said you weren’t dating that he was your boyfriend. What was I supposed to do? Just take that information and assume that you’re going to make good life choices without me?”

  “Yes! Mother, I’m twenty-one-years old. I can have a boyfriend, I can make decisions for myself, and I am an adult. And seriously, who are you to talk about having a boyfriend.” She knew it was a shitty jab but she was feeling attacked.

  “Exactly, I’ve had enough bad boyfriends to know how they ruin your fucking life. You’re so close to graduating. So close to having the life that I didn’t have. You’re going to throw it all away on some guy? I taught you better than that. If you need some dick go out and get it, you don’t have to date it.”

  Her mother, ever the poet, had a way with words. And she’d followed her mother’s advice all through high school and college. But Rain wasn’t some guy out for booty. He was… something else.

  “I’m well aware of that, Mona.” She purposely used her mother’s name. That drove her crazy. “You’re right, I am about to graduate. And I will graduate because I have all my credits and am acing all my classes and I have a future planned. Rain doesn’t have anything to do with that.” She knew that was a total lie because he had everything to do with it. Every moment they spent together changed even in the slightest way her plans for her future.

  “Rain? What kind of name is Rain?”

  “It’s short for Rainier, like the mountain.”

  “Shit, you’re dating a hippie? Shoulda fucking known that you come out here and find some tree hugger, hemp wearing, Patchouli smelling guy that all he wants to do is have you braid his dreadlocks for him.”

  She wasn’t about to tell her mother how close she was about the whole tree hugging thing. “Again, none of your business, mom. Although, I will say that Rainier is nothing like those things.” She shouldn’t even tell her mother what he was like because it wasn’t like she could convince her of Rain’s attributes.

  “What he is, Quinnlynn, is a distraction. How many times have I told you not to let a man interfere with your future? They only want one thing. Actually, that’s not true, they want a number of things. They want sex, they want your money, and they want your freedom. The minute you let a man into your life and give him any kind of say, he’ll take all of it. They can’t just have a small portion of you.

  Men are greedy, that’s why they’ve always been conquerors. If they see it, and they want it, they take it. You have to be smarter than that. You have to be the one that looks at them and sees them what for what they are. And yes, I came out here on the goddamn bus, that I can’t begin to tell you how bad it smelled, to make sure that you understand that you are throwing your life away for a guy.”

  “How am I throwing my life away? I’m going to classes, I haven’t missed one yet. And just for your information, Rain supports my studies, he wants me to graduate, and he wants me to be a social worker.”

  “Well, isn’t that nice. So kind of him to allow you to have your own future. Now that he’s given you permission, you can just run off and pretend to be a social worker while he runs things behind the scenes.”

  Quinn felt an anger rising inside her that she’d never experienced with her
mother before. How dare she talk about Rain like she knew him and knew what he wanted for her. Not once had Rain ever said that he wanted her to change or alter her plans. Sure, her mother had gotten used and abused by plenty of men over the years and justifiably she was jaded towards all of them.

  But the whole reason Quinn wanted to move to Seattle was so that she could start becoming her own person. She knew she didn’t want to end up angry and bitter at the world like her mother. She also realized that she didn’t want to work as hard as her mother did. Scraping for every penny, because there wasn’t any way to better herself.

  Rain didn’t look down on Quinn or where she came from. He never even brought it up. He took her for who she was now, not what she used to be. He’d never even expressed any doubt that she could become what she wanted to.

  “Rain loves me, Mom! He fucking loves me! He says it, he shows me, and he supports me. He wants us to be together forever!” Quinn was yelling and she knew that her neighbors were hearing every word. Why the hell was her mother here? Why was she having this conversation with her?

  She never talked relationships with her mom unless the conversation included staying the hell away from them. Now she was screaming at her mom in her dorm room for everyone to hear. It sucked and made her feel like she wasn’t in control.

  “Oh! He loves you? Well, isn’t that nice? Did he tell you that before or after he fucked you? Grow up, Quinnlynn. A man will say whatever he has to in order to get his dick wet.”

  “He took me to a fancy hotel the other day, mom. He wanted it to be special for us. We had room service and it was amazing.”

  A look of utter contempt came over her mother’s face. “Are you telling me that after all these years, all it took was a nice hotel room and some room service to woo you? Quinnlynn, it’s like I’m reading a textbook on getting into a girl’s pants. You’ve become the stereotype you’ve always hated. A girl who will do anything for money.”