Violet was throwing up again. Nate could hear her from the living room where he was laying on the couch. She was his submissive, the woman he loved but she was so distant from him lately. He had felt her pushing away from him since she had learned about the trial. No matter what he did, nothing was bringing her back to him. He pushed up from the couch and walked into the bathroom. She was dry heaving over the toilet. She had not had anything to eat in almost twenty-four hours. He picked up her hair and rubbed circles on her back.
He saw the tears still coming from her eyes. He hated seeing her so sad. He pulled her back between his legs as he leaned against the bathtub. Tears were still falling as he held onto her tightly. “I swear Sir I wasn’t trying to keep things from you. I know the load that you have with The Manor.”
“Fuck The Manor. You are my life. You are the one that matters. I’m your Dominant. I am the one who is charged with taking care of you and making sure that you are well taken care of. When you hide things, then I can’t fulfill my part of the relationship and take care of you. You are the most important thing in my life… don’t you know that little one?”
“I just wanted to handle something, so it was one thing off your plate. I didn’t think…” she turned in his lap, so she could face him. “You want to know everything? Even if it may make you hate me even more than you do now?”
“I don’t hate you little one. I could never hate you. You may be able to infuriate Mother Theresa and myself but hate? Never.”
She hugged him tightly. “I hope that’s true.” She bit her lip as she looked to the ground. Nate sat there waiting for her to gather her courage. Feeling her take a deep breath, his nerves started to get the better of him. He knew that it must be something big if she was this scared. “I went to the doctor. I was worried that maybe I was bleeding internally or something. You know how my mind goes a little wild sometimes. She looked me over and said that everything had healed nicely. She was concerned about me not keeping down any food… so she took some blood. I still haven’t gotten the results back yet. She thinks that I may be pregnant.” Violet gave a little chuckle. “She may have thought of that because of how horny I have felt like lately. I have a kit in my purse but I’m just too scared to take it.”
Nate sat there frozen as he listened to her talk. He was afraid that if he moved that she would stop talking. Hearing the word pregnant fall from her lips had him looking at her flat stomach. Could it be true? Could she be carrying his child? Fear gripped him along with happiness. His Dominance took over his emotions. He stood up quickly and left the bathroom. Violet laid down on the tile as the tears kept coming. She hated crying and that was all she ever did anymore it felt like. Barely a minute, Nate’s hand was on her. “Here little one.” He handed her a white stick. “You need to take the test. Then I am calling to get the blood tests rushed.”
Violet took the stick out of Nate’s hand. “Ok but I can’t pee with you in here.”
“You better learn how to fast. I’m not leaving you. We do this together.”
Violet nodded as she pissed on the stick with some help of running water. The wait was agonizing as she waited for the not pregnant or pregnant words to show up in the small oval shape. Finally, the alarm goes off and the words “not pregnant” felt like a stab in her heart. Secretly she wanted a baby even though she was terrified. Nate held her close as he picked her up and carried her back to the bed. He curled up behind her. “We will check the blood tests. It could definitely be too early to tell.” Violet nodded as she went to sleep, losing the hope that she had of being pregnant with Nate’s child.
A couple days later, cramping woke her up. She knew that the truth was there was no child. She didn’t hide the truth from Nate as she got up and started busing herself around the small apartment. The court date was tomorrow, and she had a lot on her plate to get ready for the court case. Sylvia had been her saving grace for days as they poured some wine and started chatting while Nate was busy on his laptop trying to handle his affairs remotely. Anytime he caught her looking at him, he’d send her a warming smile before going back to work. This was the man that she loved and the one that would make a good father one day with someone. She gave a small smile as she looked over to Sylvia.
“I need a huge favor and I need it to stay between the two of us.”
“I don’t like the sounds of that at all.” Sylvia put down her glass, knowing that this was going to be serious if she didn’t want Nate to know after everything that happened last night.
“If Raymond is released tomorrow, I’m going to run. Nate has The Manor to think about and I can’t stay prisoner on the grounds there my whole life. I know how difficult security has been there. I hate that Nate’s life is in danger because I did not have the patience to wait. I won’t have him in danger again.”
“You leaving… will kill him Vi.”
“We’ll have you and Colton, and the other Dominants. I need him safe; even if that means leaving him.”
“What do you want from me?”
“I need help with new I.D.’s and a way to run. I have the money from the sale of my grandmother’s house and my car. Plus, my money from working at The Manor.”
“So, witness protection practically without bringing in the Witness Protection people.” Sylvia shook her head. “I’ll get it done. Though I hope that you won’t need to use it.”
“As do I.” Violet took a drink of the wine. “Leaving Nate would destroy my soul. He’s my reason for breathing… I love him so much.” Violet confessed as she looked over to him. She truly loved him and would do anything for him. Even destroy herself to keep him safe.
“You know he’ll be pissed that you aren’t trusting him.”
“I do trust him, but he can’t fix this. This is something that only I can fix. Raymond wants me destroyed just like he ruined his last submissive before me.”
“You’re hiding something else from me.”
“There is another option, but you aren’t allowed to hear it.”
“It’s off the record tell me.”
“I could pretend to grovel, go back to him afterwards. After he hits me a few times I kill him and claim self-defense.” Violet shrugged with the option that she had contemplated for months that she was with him. She never did it because she may fail, and it would have put everyone in danger.
“You do that, and I’ll kill you myself. God! You are to never to be in a room alone with that monster. Do you hear me?”
“Yes mistress.” Violet looked down to her hands that she was playing with in her lap.
“There is another option that you haven’t contemplated.”
“What?” Violet was surprised.
“He could be found guilty of one or more of his crimes and gets time. Once inside, leak the fact of the rape and attempted murder. Let everything even itself out.”
“You’d release information in order to have him killed?”
“Well you know how those vulture reporters are when it comes to digging out information in the shadows.” Sylvia gave an evil smirk towards Violet. She took a sip of wine as she thought about what she’d do to protect Violet. Watching those videos that she had on her laptop had made Sylvia almost breaking the law to gun down the bastard where he sat. Much less bring him in and beat up Violet even more with dealing with a trial.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Violet worked with Sylvia as they went over her testimony for the court. Violet was trying hard not to let her mind go back to those nightmare nights that she spent with Raymond, but every word spoken brought on a new memory. An hour into the session and Violet was at her wits end. Nate was nowhere to be seen and the darkness inside her was turning hard. Violet looked at Sylvia. “Can we please take a small break? I just need fifteen minutes.”
“Sure. Though we have to finish this today. Tomorrow morning is the case.”
“I know.” Violet said quietly.
She walked into the bedroom that she was supposed to be sharing with Nate. Thoug
h with the last fight they had, he had stayed away from her. It killed her that he was distant from her. She knew that she was pushing him away, just in case that the worse should happen, but she truly missed him. Violet slid down the wall as she hugged her knees to her chest. The darkness made her feel like she was being pulled apart from the inside out. Tears slipped down her eyes steadily until she started gasping as she wept.
Sylvia was talking with Nate in the office when she heard crying. She closed her eyes. She knew how tough this was on Violet, but she had to be difficult with her because they were going to crucify her on the stand during the cross examination. She knew that Violet would handle it better if she made sure to hit the hardest parts today. Sylvia looked over to Nate, “Aren’t you going to do something?”
“She’s been pushing me away for weeks. I’m just respecting her wishes. She’s strong… she won’t break.” Nate told himself. As Sylvia shook her head and left him to sulk. Sylvia was tired of Nate’s stubbornness. They were two of her greatest friends and she wanted to see them both happy. Sylvia walked out of the room and walked down the hall to where she could hear Violet quiet sobs.
Sylvia walked into the room. Her heart clinching when she saw her, defeat had taken over Violet’s eyes. She sat down beside Violet, throwing her arms around her, holding her tightly. Violet accepted her touch and moved as the sobs became louder into Sylvia’s shoulder. She cried for a while until the sobs turned to whimpers and she pulled herself together a little bit.
“I’m sorry Vi. I have to be hard on you with this, so you can handle court.” Violet pushed back from Sylvia, so she could look up at her for a moment.
“I know S. The memories… the… I can still feel my bones breaking. My hipbone being pounded into the kitchen cabinet knobs as he tears my passage, knowing that if I make a sound that he will beat me until I can’t make another sound. The pain was extensive, but I always took it; I always went into my... place, so I can handle the pain.”
“Your place?”
“My happy place. A place where I would mentally escape until he was done doing whatever it was.”
“What was your happy place?”
“Nate.” Violet whispered. “Guess that is not a happy place any longer.”
“Meaning?” Sylvia asked as she saw Nate’s shadow in the hallway.
“Nate hates me now.”
“Why because you two fought?” Sylvia lifted Violet’s chin. “You can be a Bug sometimes and stubborn. Couples fight, that doesn’t mean that he hates you. Girl, Nate cherishes you. I know you can’t see that right now but it’s the truth.”
“Should feeling cherished be this painful? If he cherishes me so much, then where is he? He hasn’t left my side in weeks. Even when I was a complete monster; until now. It is because of me that he is stuck here instead of being at his precious Manor.” Violet sneered in disgust at the place she truly loved but had become a tad jealous of. “You forget that he threw me away before. It was not being to be too long before he got tired of me.” Violet said quietly as she laid her head back against the wall, allowing the feeling of defeat spread through her. “I love him S, but I’m losing him.” Violet admitted quietly.
Nate stood in the shadows, hearing everything that Violet was saying. She was not losing him, but he needed to cool down first and that was not happening being stuck in the small safe house. Nate would make sure to show Violet that he was never going to turn away from her. He was glad that Sylvia was with her as he turned and went back to the small office and threw himself back into his work.
The next morning, Violet stepped into the court room alongside her lawyer Morgan Pines. His crisp pin-stripe suit looked designer and tailored to fit his body as he sat down in the chair and turned to her, his eyes assessing her. “I need you to breathe pet.” She took a breath and looked behind her. Nate had barely said a handful of words to her in days, yet he sat immediately behind her offering her his support. He sat tall and completely composed. She had not seen him this focuses since he watched the videos of Raymond abusing her in the hospital.
She could not focus too long on Nate because her heart could not afford to break any more during this whole process. Mr. Pines, the lawyer, had already warned her that this process could take several days, especially if they had to play each and every video to make a point of what went on behind closed doors. When she looked around, she noticed that most of the court room was filled with people from The Manor. The Dominants and Submissive’s that she worked alongside at The Manor and had somehow wormed their way into her heart. Seeing them brought a small sense of calm to her core until the sound of a door being through all the way back, banging loud, made her jerk forward. “Breathe.” She barely heard the whisper in her ear, if it was actually aloud at all. Seeing Raymond strutting into the court room like he owned it, made the hairs on the back of her neck stand straight up. Goosebumps quickly popped up on her skin. She was remembering to breathe but it was becoming labored and almost difficult as she watched him walk down the middle of the court room, his young female lawyer trailing behind him.
“Violet. So glad we could see each other again. I’m sure you will see the error of your mistake quickly and come to your senses before…”
“Get a hold of your defendant Michelle.” Morgan’s deep voice thundered loud in throughout the court room. Violet gripped the arm of her chair in a death grip. She had given the videos to Nate to be done with this. She never expected to be forced to appear in a court room and be close to the monster again. She never wanted to see him again. As she sat there the voices of people around her faded into the background, until all she heard where her own dark thoughts and the thumping race of her heart. She would do just about anything to run from the room, to hide somewhere safe and drown herself in so many projects that she never had to remember or be haunted by Raymond’s touch and voice.
The loud cracks of the gravel hitting the judge’s podium brought her back to the present as she looked up to the judge. “Order. Order in my courtroom.” Violet heard the noise behind her quieting, not knowing what the trouble was. She was glad to have something to focus on as she struggled not to let her mind wander to the past.
The day was long, and they had already showed two of the milder videos of the abuse. She watched the juror’s eyes change from annoyance of being forced to be there to complete disgust as they looked at her. She knew that they would never understand submission and the trust that one person would have to have in order to submit to a Dominant. They did not understand the power exchange and the code of the Dominant and what it meant for a Dominant to go against that code. Sitting in the hard, uncomfortable, wooden chair despair crept into her body. It had been a rough week in protective custody and she knew that Raymond would get off free and the longer she sat there she was starting to fear that she would be the one to end up in a jail cell because of all of the videos. Her nerves were shot, and she started to bite her nails; feeling a tight grip on her thigh she looked over to Morgan and quickly put down her hand. She had been warned in all the ways that would show her nervousness. She needed to be brave, she had put on a face for so long, she could keep up the pretense while she was in the courtroom. Countless questions flowed from both of the attorneys as Violet sat there like stone, lost in her own memories. She slowly her mind turned to her “happy” place; her time spent with Nate. It was her god given solace at a time like this. Nate was always the guy who was her soul mate. She loved Nate; she had since the moment she walked in the doors of The Manor and looked up into his eyes. She was naturally drawn to the man, always had been and always will. She was ready to run. All the exits were in place and she had the unmarked car in the parking garage just like she had planned with Sylvia. She ran over the plan in her mind multiple times; she was ready. Leaving Nate, even though he was pissed at her, would kill her but she knew that he would be safer and better off without her. His safety was all that mattered to her.
The sound of the television being turned on again she
heard the start of the first video. She tried to keep her cool but the sound of the first scream had her sweating and shaking. The sound of her cries and screams were burned into her brain but they also filled the court room as the sound was turned up louder by her lawyer. Nate. Nate. Nate. She kept her thoughts on him, so she did not hyperventilate in the courtroom as the last and most horrific video played. The sounds of her bones breaking were clear as several of the juror’s grabbed their mouths, trying to stop themselves from being sick. She could barely hear some of the gasps from behind her from the Dominants and submissives that came to support her during the trial. Violet did not know how she could ever look into any of the faces or eyes of her friends that she had gained over the past few months that she had healed. Everyone knew about the abuse but knowing and seeing were two different things. As the video played and she had passed out from the pain and he kept hitting her and fucking her the judge’s voice broke through. “That is enough.” Morgan Pines nodded as he froze the screen. “Let’s all adjourn for an hour.” Violet looked to the Judge. She could see the displeasure on his face and the sweat on his brow. He got up and quickly left the courtroom as she stood there, completely lost. She jumped as she felt smaller hands on her. She turned and saw Sylvia there. Mouths were moving as she looked to each side of Sylvia, but she could not focus enough for their voices to make much sense.
She let Sylvia lead her from the courtroom, relishing in the arm of support around her waist. She trusted Sylvia and once they sat down at a table at the restaurant she leaned her head over on Sylvia’s shoulder. She needed something familiar and she always drew strength from her fierce trainer. She felt a hand on her cheek and saw Ashton sitting beside her. He held out a fork with noodles on it. She looked at him. “You. Need. To. Eat.” He said slowly as Violet took the fork and ate the noodles.
Cherished (The Manor Series Book 1) Page 12
