by K. Anderson
“So…” Nicole licked her lips and blinked. “That man… Jackson… was in the car with me?”
The doctor’s lips pressed into a thin line and his brows met in a frown, creating a worry line on his brow. Natalie could feel her heart rate increasing, and the machine she was connected to logged the change.
Chapter Two
As if on cue, Jackson appeared in the doorway. He must have seen the confusion on Nicole’s face, and he immediately rushed toward her.
“Hey,” he said gently, his eyes running up and down her body frantically. “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”
“You’re physically fine,” the doctor spoke up, and the two looked over at him. “You have a few cracked ribs that you will have to be careful of, and some cuts and a few nasty bruises, but they look like they will heal up fine as long as you take care of them. We will hold you here for a day more and conduct another examination after you have had some time to wake up, and then another before you go home. Is there anything you need to tell me right now? Any pain?”
Nicole’s head was whirling with questions about what on earth was going on, but she figured she may as well do her best to answer the doctor’s questions. She had soreness all over her body, and particularly on her sides, but she attributed that fact to her broken ribs.
“I think I’m okay,” she said softly. Jackson offered her the bottle of water he had gone to get, and she offered him a weak smile before she took it.
“Well, we’ll give you some time to take stock of how you’re feeling, and then we can make some more conclusions later,” the doctor smiled at her and gave her a soft pat on the leg.
Nicole was quiet as the nurses filtered out of the room around her. The doctor looked over her observantly for a moment, and then moved over to Jackson, who had been standing since he had come back into the room.
“Jackson, I’d like to speak with you outside for a moment,” Dr. Red said to him, a calm smile on his face as he spoke.
“Oh, sure,” the man nodded. He looked back toward Nicole, the same concern on his face as had been there all day. “Are you good?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Nicole answered, her voice carrying a hint of annoyance, buts he gave him a smile anyway.
“I’ll be right outside,” he assured her. “Just call me in if you need anything.
Before Nicole could answer him, he was out the door. Nicole frowned and wondered what on earth he was thinking and why on earth he was so concerned with her. She vaguely remembered that the doctor hadn’t answered her question of whether Jackson had been in the car with her when it crashed. She began to suspect that something very strange was going on here.
Nicole watched with rising apprehension as the two men chatted under their breaths outside her door. They glanced back in every once in a while, and she could see the growing look of horror on Jackson’s face. She, too, became more and more concerned, and she got the feeling that there was something they weren’t telling her.
After the men had been speaking for quite some time, the man Jackson rubbed a hand over his face and looked back into the room for a long moment before he finally nodded, and moved away down the hall. Nicole was slightly relieved. It had been nice of him to wait with her, but she really did feel largely uncomfortable with a stranger lingering in her room.
The doctor, however, moved back inside, and sat back down at her bedside.
“I hope he’s alright,” Nicole said softly. “I know he’s been hanging out with me for a long time.
“That he has,” the doctor said, a strange note in his voice.
The air was still and quiet for a long moment, and Nicole felt her heart beating hard in her chest.
“Nicole,” the doctor said, his voice somewhat grave. “I have some bad news for you.”
Nicole’s heart dropped. She vaguely wiggled her toes and fingers, and breathed a sigh of relief to know that whatever the news was, she wasn’t paralyzed.
“Okay,” she said softly. “What’s the deal?”
The doctor looked over at her and gave her an encouraging smile.
“This is always hard to tell people,” he said. “It’s a rare occurrence, but not unheard of. You said the year was two thousand eleven, correct.”
“Yes,” Nicole said hesitantly. “Is that wrong?”
“Yes, it is,” the doctor said, his voice softer and a little heavier. “The year is two thousand sixteen.”
Nicole felt a hard lump form in her throat and she blinked several times.
“It seems that the crash has caused you to lose your memory of the last five years,” he explained, and Nicole struggled to keep her breathing even.
“Oh,” she breathed out, and blinked at the information she had received.
Five years. She tried desperately to remember more details about the crash, but there was nothing. She tried to think of what all could have happened in the last five years of her life, and her mind raced with thoughts. She felt overwhelmed, and she worked hard to control her breathing.
“Will I…” Nicole shook her head and took a deep breath. “Will I ever get my memories back?”
The doctor sighed.
“There’s, unfortunately, no way to tell,” he said honestly. “Some patients do, and some patients don’t. Head injuries are very unpredictable. You may experience changes in mood, personality, even food preference. And we’ll have to keep a very close eye on you in the coming months. But of course, we should all be very thankful that you seem to, at the very least, be functioning normally.”
Nicole blinked. She was having a hard time feeling thankful, but she did realize that it could be a lot worse, and that she could be dead on the side of the road. The doctor was quiet, and he waited patiently for her to gather her thoughts.
“Thank you,” Nicole said. “For being so transparent with me.”
“Of course,” the doctor smiled softly. “I try to be absolutely honest with all my patients.”
Nicole smiled and looked down into her lap. A thought came to her suddenly, and she looked up at the doctor.
“My family…” she started hesitantly. “Do they know? I mean… have they come by at all?”
“They have, actually,” the doctor said cheerily. “Your mother and father stayed here for a couple of days over the weekend, but they were urged to leave. We assured them that we would contact them if there was any change. They have been calling regularly to check on your welfare. I’m sure they’ll be delighted to know you’re finally awake.”
Nicole was glad to know that they had come to visit her, but it seemed out of character of them to leave her in the hospital with no one to look out for her.
Then again, a lot of time had passed since she could remember, and things might have changed since then. She had been twenty-one in two thousand eleven, so in two thousand six, she would be twenty-six. The thought was staggering, and she found herself tearing up. She knew that the doctor was still in the room, and she quickly swiped at her eyes to clear away the tears that had fallen.
“I know this is a lot to take in,” the doctor said gently. “And it’s not going to be easy. But you seem like a strong young woman, and whatever happens, I know that you are capable of living out the rest of your life very fruitfully.”
Nicole gave the doctor a smile at his words of encouragement. She looked up, and she noticed that the man, Jackson, had returned and was pacing upon and down outside the window, looking in on her every once in a while. It dawned on Nicole that she might very well have met this man somewhere in the five years that she could not remember.
“Dr. Red?” Nicole asked, gathering up her courage, and he looked at her expectantly. “Do I… know Jackson?”
The older man smiled, but it did not touch his eyes.
“Yes, you do,” he said simply. “I thought it best that he… reintroduce himself in person.”
“Oh,” Nicole said. She could detect a lot of meaning and importance in the doctor’s soft words, and she took a deep breath t
o ready herself for whatever would happen.
The doctor stood and gave her another smile.
“I won’t be far,” the man said. “And if you ever need anything, there are always nurses nearby to assist.”
Nicole nodded and gave him a soft smile.
“Okay,” she said. “Thank you.”
The doctor gave her a last smile and moved to leave the room.
“I’ll be back after a while for your examination,” he said, and with that, he stepped out of the room.
Before the door could fully shut, Jackson caught it and stepped back into the room. He looked at Nicole warily, and he took a deep breath before shutting the door behind him. Nicole finally took the time to get a better look at him.
He was tall and broad, and his shirt was tight against his muscled torso. His legs were long, but they filled out the dark jeans he was wearing, and she suspected that they were muscular as well. His jaw was strong, as well as his dark brows, and he had an unmistakable air of masculinity about him. And somehow, Nicole knew that she must know him, and yet she couldn’t for her entire life remember who he was.
“Hey,” he said, his voice very cautious. He lingered in the doorway, as if he would frighten her if he moved.
“Hey,” Nicole repeated his words. She felt extremely awkward, and she didn’t really know how to alleviate the tension that had built up in the room between them.
“You can sit down if you want,” she said meekly, gesturing to the chair that he had been occupying when she first woke up.
“Oh, thanks,” Jackson said, and slowly moved over to the chair.
For a long while, the two were silent. Nicole looked down at her wrist and fiddled with her bracelet. She looked up for a moment and caught him watching her, and he looked sharply away.
“Sorry,” he said with a nervous laugh. “It’s just… I… it’s good to see you awake again.”
His words carried a lot of weight, and Nicole felt a shiver go down her spine. She could imagine how it must have felt for him to be watching over a motionless body for such a long time.
“It’s okay,” Nicole said softly.
Another long silence stretched between them, filled only with the beeping and whirring of the various machines that Nicole was hooked up to. She was pleased to note that her headache was gone. She reached for the water bottle that Jackson had brought and took a sip from it, then put it back down on the table beside her bed.
“So…” Nicole spoke again. “The doctor says that we know one another.”
Jackson laughed bitterly and shook his head.
“Yeah…” he sighed, and ran a hand over his face. “He told me that you have no memory of the last five years.”
“Yeah,” Nicole nodded. “I guess we must have met somewhere in those five years.”
Jackson laughed and nodded. He looked up at her, his eyes warm and crinkled with his smile.
“Yeah, we did,” he said softly.
Nicole nodded. She looked at him long and hard. She jogged what memory she did have for even a glimpse or a clue of what he was to her, but she had nothing. Finally, she shook her head and sighed, rubbing at her eyes.
“Well, I’ve got nothing,” Nicole said. “So I guess introductions are in order.”
“I guess so,” Jackson said, his eyes twinkling with many emotions, but the foremost of them being humor.
“Well, I’ll start, although you remember me,” Nicole quipped. “I’m Nicole. I’m apparently twenty-six years old, and I don’t remember the last five years of my life.”
Jackson laughed, and Nicole laughed a little herself. She couldn’t stop smiling somehow, in spite of the situation that she had just found herself in.
“I’m Jackson,” he said, starting softly. “I am twenty-eight years old, and I do remember the last five years of my life… as well as the last five of yours.”
Jackson’s expression grew somber, and Nicole felt her mood darken as the situation between them became more serious.
“My full name,” he continued. “Is Jackson Eduardo Martel… and I am your husband.”
Chapter Three
Nicole’s face went pale, and she felt her heart stop. She opened her mouth to reply to the news, but no words came to her. She looked at Jackson, and tried to process the news that he had given her. A thousand questions raced through her mind, and she shook her head, then took a deep breath.
“How…” Nicole started, but her voice cracked. She cleared her throat and took a moment to collect herself again.
“How long have we…” she gestured to find the words she was looking for. “How long have we been together?”
“Five years,” he said, and she heard the dark humor in his voice. “We dated for a year and a half, we were engaged for six months, and then we’ve been married for three years.”
He explained all this softly, and looking deep into her eyes. Nicole processed this information slowly.
“I’m sorry…” Nicole said, shaking her head. “I just… I don’t remember…”
“Hey, it’s okay…” Jackson said softly, and put his hand gently on her thigh.
Nicole felt tears trickling in her eyes again, and she trickled.
“Hey, hey…” Jackson murmured. His hands moved to cup her face, but he stopped short, trepidation flashing in his eyes.
“There’s just so much…” Nicole squeaked through her tears. “So much that I don’t even remember. I mean I don’t even know who you are… I didn’t even know I was married…”
Jackson looked at her with deep sadness, and Nicole got a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“What?” she asked hesitantly. “What is it?”
“There’s one more important thing,” Jackson said. “It will probably be pretty shocking.”
“What can be more shocking than finding out you lost five years of your memory in a car crash, only to wake up and find that you’re married?” Nicole said with dull humor.
Jackson did not smile, and his eyes flashed with worry. Nicole felt her stomach slowly begin to sink.
“What is it?” She asked with no small amount of trepidation.
Jackson searched her face with concern, and seemed to hesitate before going on.
“We just adopted a son,” he said slowly, and Nicole’s eyes widened to hear the news. “A baby boy. His name is Adam.”
Nicole’s mind whirled. She had never even considered adoption. At least not that she could remember. She must have made that decision somewhere in her missing five years. She wondered why she had made the decision to adopt, but she was hesitant to ask, in fear of getting an answer that she didn’t want to hear.
“We’ve been going through the process for over a year,” he explained to her. “It was extremely tough, but it just went through. We’re supposed to pick him up next weekend.”
Nicole didn’t know what to say. By anyone standards, this was certainly a triumph. But in her mind, she had not experienced the turmoil or the strife of the process, so she felt somewhat bad that she could not truly rejoice in their victory. She also couldn’t get rid of the nagging feeling that there was a reason they had decided to adopt rather have their own children.
“That’s…” Nicole smiled weakly and looked up at Jackson. “That’s wonderful. Congratulations.”
“Thanks,” Jackson said softly.
There was a long, awkward silence that passed between them.
“Did we…” Nicole tried to speak, but her voice cracked. She turned and took a long drink from her water bottle and put it back on the table before trying again.
“Did we… you know…” Nicole gestures in the air. “Try for our own?”
Jackson’s face fell at the question, and Nicole felt slightly sick at her stomach.
“We did,” he said softly. “We tried for two years. We tried and tried and then tried again. We got me checked out, and everything was fine there.”
Nicole was sure that her heart stopped.
“So it
’s me,” she said softly. It wasn’t a question, but a statement.
Jackson looked at her sadly.
“We took you to several doctors,” he explained softly. “A few said you were perfectly normal and that you should be able to conceive. So we kept trying, but we just had no luck at all. Finally, we took you to one doctor across the state. He told us that you had polycystic ovary syndrome… and it was likely you would never get pregnant.”
“Oh…” Nicole said. She tried to keep herself composed, but she couldn’t fight the deep sadness and heartbreak that filled her upon hearing the news.
In spite of her attempts to control her emotions, Nicole felt tears welling up in her eyes. Her breath started to catch and before too long, she felt herself dissolve into a fit of crying. She covered her face and mouth to try to muffle the squeaking sounds she was making, but she could not seem to stop crying. That news was the final straw for her.
“I know, I know,” Jackson said soothingly, rubbing his hand up and down along her back.
Nicole’s body seemed to recognize his touch, even if her mind didn’t, and she leaned into his touch and allowed him to comfort her. She was suddenly very glad that he was here, even if she didn’t remember him.
He was quiet as she cried, allowing her to process her grief and shock in her own way. Nicole had always feared that she would be incapable of having children, but it seemed that her worst fears had finally come to fruition. And now she couldn’t even remember it happening.
She vaguely realized that this must have been an incredible blow for Jackson as well. He had likely expected to have a family with his own children, with a whole woman who could healthily carry out a pregnancy. He must have been just as crushed when the doctor had given them the news. She felt crushed by the weight of her inadequacies, and she felt ashamed of herself for falling short.
“I- I’m sorry…” Nicole gasped through her sobs.
“No,” Jackson said firmly. “Don’t say that Nicole. This isn’t your fault.”
