by K. Anderson
Tawni wasn’t even pretending to wipe down the milkshake machine anymore. She stood there eagerly listening to everything Brendan had to say.
“What happened?” Shannon asked.
“Nothing then. They should have thrown his ass right out of school, but they didn’t. He got off with a warning.” Brendan shook his head. “Two weeks later, he does it again. And this time? The girl’s not just underage, she’s a minor.”
“Oh my god.”
“I haven’t seen him since that happened,” Brendan said. “His roommate told me he’d gone to class one morning and when he came back, Steve’s side of the room was completely cleaned out. It was like he’d never been there at all.”
“Did he come to the reunion?” Shannon searched her memory. “I don’t remember seeing him there.”
“Nope.”
“I don’t think he’s come back home,” Shannon said. “I haven’t seen him around town at all.” She shrugged. “Of course, I haven’t been looking for him. And he was never the type to come into a bookstore of his own free will.”
Brendan laughed. “Not the type of books you sell, anyway. If you carried some girlie mags, maybe…”
“Sales aren’t that bad!” Shannon protested. She finished her last chili-dog; Brendan had already wolfed down all of his food and had eaten half of her fries. “I never knew he was like that.”
“I didn’t like how he was with Erica,” Brendan said. “Always pressuring her for more than she wanted to give. And I didn’t like how he looked at you.”
“Steve? He never looked at me.”
“Sure he did.” Brendan stood up. “And I didn’t like it.” He took a couple of dollars out of his wallet and tossed them on the table. “Thanks,” he said to Tawni, who’d gone back to pretending she was cleaning the milkshake machine. The stainless steel shone like chrome.
“Don’t be a stranger!” she chirped. “We stay open late on Fridays now.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Brendan said, as he led Shannon out of Mickey’s. After the door closed, he laughed. “Some people definitely haven’t changed. She’s exactly how I remember her.”
“What about me?” Shannon asked, shocked at her own nerve. “Am I how you remember me?”
Brendan shook his head. “Nope. You’re way prettier now.”
Chapter 3
“You’re way prettier now.” Shannon repeated Brendan’s words to herself, squealing with happiness. “I can’t believe he said that!”
“I’ve told you that boy was sweet on you from day one,” Chloe said. She stood in her daughter’s doorway, smiling. “You should listen to your Mama.”
“No offense, Mom, but there was absolutely no evidence to support that idea. All through school, Brendan and I were just friends.”
“You went to the prom together.” Chloe nodded at the framed picture sitting on Shannon’s bookcase. The image showed a much younger, thinner Brendan practically swimming in his rented tuxedo, with Shannon beaming next to him in an emerald green dress.
“That’s because neither one of us had a date.”
Chloe laughed. “You both had a date – each other.” She held up her hand when Shannon started to reply. “Tell me I’m wrong later. You guys are going out tomorrow night?”
Shannon nodded. “His dad is letting him borrow the boat, and we’re going to go down the river to watch the fireworks.”
“That sounds romantic,” Chloe said. “Just remember to be careful.”
“Mom,” Shannon replied, rolling her eyes. “This is Brendan we’re talking about. Nothing bad is going to happen.”
Chloe laughed. “I know that. I trust Brendan. And I trust you. You both have good heads on your shoulders.” She sighed. “It’s just that when you’re out there on the river, well. Things can get out of hand pretty quickly, and I’m much too young to be a grandma.”
Shannon burst out laughing. “Of all the things you don’t need to worry about, Mom, I’m pretty sure that’s at the top of the list.”
“You’re going to see Erica tonight?”
Shannon nodded. “Yeah, she’s only in town a few more days before she heads back to … school.” She hadn’t told her mother what Brendan had said yet. Erica had been her best friend for over a decade. Shannon figured she deserved to be asked what the truth of the matter was.
“You need any money?”
“No, I’m good.” Shannon smiled at her mother. She knew, better than anyone, how tight things were at the bookstore. The sales were barely enough to cover the bills, but her mother insisted that Shannon get a small paycheck each week. “Really.”
“All right. I’m headed out myself.” Chloe’s smile faded a little bit. “I’ll see you later.”
“Mom? Are you all right?”
Chloe’s smile brightened. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just trying to make a list in my head.” She tapped a finger against the side of her head. “You know how forgetful I am. I should write things down.”
Shannon handed her mother a notebook from her desk. “Here – use this.” She handed over a pen. “Purple ink. Very lucky.”
Chloe took both and bent to kiss Shannon on the forehead. “Have a good night, baby doll. I love you.”
“I love you too, Mom.”
“I love you,” Erica said. She’d returned to the riverside park with Shannon; they were sitting side by side atop one of the picnic tables that had escaped the recent bonfires. In her hands, she held the volume of short stories Shannon had carefully selected for her. “After all this time, you still remember exactly what I like.”
“That’s what friends are for, right?” Shannon shrugged. Her stomach felt strange, as if she was the one who’d been telling lies. But there was nothing for her to lie about – her life in Claremont was as dull as dishwater, just like always.
“Yeah.” Erica put her arm around Shannon’s shoulders and squeezed. “Thanks, honey.” She looked abashed. “I should have gotten you something.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Shannon leaned forward out of the embrace, letting her elbows rest on her knees. “It’s a gift just to see you.”
“Is it that bad, staying here?” Erica asked. “I know your Mom needs you, but maybe you need to get away for a little bit. Meet some new people. Experience something new.”
“Yeah, how’s that working out for you?” The words slipped out of Shannon’s mouth before she realized what she was saying, edged with anger she didn’t know she felt until that moment.
“What?” Erica turned to look at Shannon.
“You’re so sure what I need to do with my life,” Shannon said. “How’s your life been going?”
Erica’s shoulders sagged, and she bowed her head. “People have been talking, huh?”
“What’s going on, Erica?” Shannon sat back and looked at the woman she’d known almost her entire life. “How come I’m hearing about you dropping out of school from everybody but you?”
“Oh!” The sound came as a quick breath, heavily tinged with relief. “I didn’t want to let you down, Shannon. You’ve always believed in my art. You’ve even got one of my paintings hanging in your bedroom.”
Shannon smiled. The painting was supposed to be a portrait of the two of them. Erica had painted it when she was in seventh grade; it didn’t look like either of them, actually, but Shannon had treasured it anyway. “You have a real talent.”
“In Claremont, I have a real talent. You get out there, and the work people are doing…” Erica shook her head, sadly. “I don’t have what it takes.”
“So you build your skills. You get better. That’s what school is for.”
Erica sighed. “Look at it like this. Imagine I’m the best basketball player in town, right?”
Shannon snorted. “All right.” It would be a stretch: her friend was barely five foot five.
“So I go off to school thinking I’m going to be this bad ass basketball player. Hell, forget college. I’m going to go directly to the NBA.”
&nb
sp; Shannon nodded. “All right.”
“But then I get there. And everyone else is not only seven feet tall, they’re playing circles around me. They’re doing things I didn’t even know could be done. And no matter how hard I work, I’m not going to grow any taller. And no matter how hard I work, I’m not going to catch up with what they’re already doing.”
“So you give up?” Shannon asked. “Not just on art, but on school?”
“What else am I going to go to school for?” Erica said. “I’m not good at anything else.” There were tears forming in her eyes, shiny and bright. “And school’s not exactly cheap, you know.”
“I know. Why do you think I’m still here?”
“I couldn’t come back,” Erica replied. “I just couldn’t. Not after telling everyone I was going to be this big amazing artist.”
“You still can, you know,” Shannon said. “You don’t have to go to college to be an artist. Lots of people don’t.”
Erica shrugged. “I’m not coming back. Maybe to visit or whatever, but yeah. I’ve had enough of Claremont.”
“Brendan told me you had a tattoo now.”
Erica leaned over and grabbed a pack of cigarettes out of her purse. She extracted one, rummaged around until she found a lighter, and lit up.
“You smoke now?”
“Damn girl. I thought you knew all my secrets.” Erica let out a long puff of smoke, curling and slate-gray. Shannon coughed. “Brendan didn’t fill you in on my pack a day habit?”
“It wasn’t like that,” Shannon protested. “He felt really weird about the whole thing.”
“Poor baby.” Erica’s voice changed. It had a harsh edge to it that Shannon didn’t recognize as belonging to her friend. “He felt so weird about it that he watched the whole damn act. He felt so weird about it that he kept his money in his pocket, too.”
“Would you have wanted Brendan putting dollars in your G-string?” Shannon asked. “Really? Brendan?”
“Rent’s $775 a month, rain or shine,” Erica replied. “You watch the show, you put your money down.”
Shannon pulled her wallet out of her jeans pocket. Inside there were four singles and a twenty. She hesitated for a moment and then pulled the twenty out. “Here,” she said. “I’ll cover him.”
Erica burst into tears. “You don’t have to do that. I’m not looking for charity.”
“It’s not charity. You’re my friend. Brendan’s…my friend. I want things to be right between you two.”
Erica took the money. “You’re sure? It’s not like you’re rolling in dough either.”
Shannon shrugged. “No, I’m not. But Mom’s not charging me rent either. I’ve got a place to be, no matter what.”
“You’re luckier than you know.”
“I’m beginning to realize that.” The past few days had been eye-openers for Shannon. She’d been envious of her friends, especially those who’d escaped Claremont for the bright lights of Albany – hardly a big city but exponentially larger than their hometown – but now, a few years into things, it seemed like she wasn’t missing out on anything but heartbreak. “Life’s hard out there.”
“It’s hard here too.” Erica shook her head. “I think it’s hard everywhere. The girls I work with, it’s the same thing. A couple of them are Albany natives but mostly they’re just like me – trying to get away from small town life. Failing miserably.” A shiny tear slid down her cheek. “Life isn’t supposed to be like this. It’s really not.”
“Hey.” It was Shannon’s turn to slide her arm around Erica’s shoulder. She squeezed her friend tight as the tiny blonde sobbed. “Shh. Shh. It’s going to be all right. You’ll see.”
A boat went slowly down the river, the tiny motor kicking up a miniature wave behind it. The girls watched it go, waving weakly at the gray-jacketed elderly man who was piloting the craft. His friendly smile deepened to a leer, and he grabbed at the front of his pants. “How much to suck it?” he shouted.
“Or…maybe not,” Shannon replied. “Jesus Christ. Maybe we’re all doomed.”
Erica laughed. She flipped the boater off. “Go to hell, Grandpa!” she shouted. “You know you can’t get it up!”
The boater turned away, red faced, gunning the little trolling motor he had for all it was worth. That resulted in his boat moving perhaps half a knot faster; it was more than enough to make the girls laugh.
“We should call the Coast Guard on his wrinkly ass,” Erica said, loud enough for her voice to carry clearly over the river’s surface. “It’s a crime to say that kind of stuff to underage girls.”
Voice low, Shannon said, “We’re not underage!”
Erica laughed. “You know that. And I know that. But he doesn’t know that.” She brushed her shoulder up against Shannon’s. “Get out your phone. Make like you’re calling someone.”
Shannon slid her cell phone out of her back pocket. She never used it much; the bargain basement model provided only spotty coverage. If the wind blew the wrong way, she couldn’t hear the person on the other end of the line. She unfolded it dramatically, and pretended to dial.
“He’s watching you heavy,” Erica giggled.
Shannon mimed having a conversation, looking up at the boater’s rapidly departing craft as she talked. After a few moments, she said, “Thank you, Officer,” as loudly and clearly as Erica had spoken a moment before. Then she folded the phone back up, returned it to her pocket, looked at the boater and waved.
He did not wave back.
Erica dissolved into giggles. “Man, it would be funnier than shit if there actually was a Coast Guard patrol out today.”
“What are the odds of that?” Shannon said.
“Probably not so great,” Erica said. “More’s the pity.”
They laughed together, and all at once, things were comfortable and normal between them again. The distance that had opened up with Erica’s secrets was closed. They were just buddies again, united against a world that didn’t always have their best interests at heart.
“Man, I’ve missed you,” Shannon said. “I’ve missed everyone.” It was true, she realized. Even though the bookstore had its busy times, Shannon spent quite a bit of time either completely alone or with only her Mom’s company. Books, as always, helped fill the hours, but it wasn’t the same as having her school friends always around.
Erica nodded. “I thought school was so bad, and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. But now that it is, I’d give anything just for one more week where we didn’t have to do anything but hang out.”
“It wouldn’t be the same, though.” Shannon felt suddenly melancholy. Erica was going to be headed back to Albany; even Brendan was only going to be around for the summer. After that, she was going to be all by her lonesome again. Who was she supposed to hang out with? Tawni? “I need to get out of here.”
“You could come live with me,” Erica offered. “My apartment is small, but we could make it work. “She paused, golden eyebrows coming together as she thought further about the idea. “We could split the rent. Figure with utilities and everything, it’d come to be about $400 a month.”
“$400 a month!” That was nearly half of what she made in a month. Shannon thought about her meager savings account. There wasn’t enough in there to cover more than two months’ worth of rent. “Where would I come up with that kind of money?”
Erica shrugged. “They have bookstores in Albany.” She tilted her head and said, “And I probably could get you in where I’m working.”
“I don’t think…” Shannon began, and then paused. She really didn’t want to hurt her friend’s feelings, but there were some things she knew she just couldn’t do. “I don’t think I have what it takes to make it as a dancer.”
Erica stared at her for a long moment, and then burst out laughing. “You dumb ass! I meant at the coffee shop, waiting tables with me!”
Chapter 4
“It’s going to be a perfect night for fireworks,” Shannon announced. “There�
�s not a cloud in the sky.” She handed Brendan the picnic basket she’d filled with sandwiches and sodas. He took it and carefully stowed in in the boat before reaching out for her hand to help her in.
Over the years, Shannon and Brendan had touched each other a million times. Casual stuff, goofing around and working together on projects, had brought them into contact frequently. None of those touches had felt like it did when their palms met now: electric anticipation sparked between them, almost audible in the hot summer night.
Their eyes met briefly, but neither of them said anything. Shannon could feel her face getting red; what if she was alone in what she felt? Her desire was startling to her. Brendan had been her friend forever, but now he was tall and muscular and confident. He smelled good, and there was a strength about him that she found strangely compelling.
“I hope so,” Brendan said, puzzling her. He nodded toward the horizon, where a few small black clouds were gathered just above the tree line. “Dad said it’s supposed to be clear, but those look like rain.”
“Well, I can’t get wet,” Shannon said. “I’ll melt!”
Brendan laughed. “What?”
“I’m made of sugar, haven’t you heard?” She gestured toward the sky. “One raindrop, and poof! I’ll be gone.”
She’d been joking, but Brendan took the conversation in a different way. Suddenly, he was standing very close to Shannon, an intense look on his face. “I’ll take some of that sugar.” His fingers traced the side of her face, brown eyes searching hers intensely. “Yes?”
“Yes,” Shannon whispered, in the half second before Brendan kissed her.
His lips were softer than she’d ever imagined possible, parting at a touch. Shannon breathed in the taste of fresh mint and eager want; when their tongues met she felt her heart leap inside her chest. She was kissing her best friend in all the world, and it felt so right.
“I have wanted to do that forever,” Brendan said, as their heads parted. “You don’t even know.”
