by Ellie Hall
He cracked a smile.
She was hardly joking.
He extended his hand and gripped her arm. “You have me.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” She surveyed her surroundings.
“When you look at me what do you see?”
She was not about to answer that question.
He turned his hands up and said, “I know, I know. A devastatingly handsome gentleman. A prize specimen. A hunk who’s both intelligent and generous. Please stop. You’re being too kind.” He mock laughed at his humble-brag.
“Don’t flatter yourself,” she muttered. She’d meant what she’d said to his father, but didn’t let on because she was a bit prickly at being brought out to no-man’s land without instructions, a map, or any sort of clue as to what to do.
Connor started walking down a trail edged with grass.
She had no choice but to follow or walk back to civilization.
“Well, you know it’s true. I am amazing,” he said when she caught up.
It was true. He was amazing. She checked off all of those boxes that he mentioned and more. But she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that life was difficult enough without having to actually survive in the wilderness. The school was in trouble and she experienced a near-constant pressure in her chest. She just kept telling herself it was stress.
They arrived at a clearing where a multitude of people gathered. Connor plopped down in the grass and then gazed to a spot in the sky where the faintest glow of the sun appeared through the clouds. “It’ll be beginning at any time now.”
Katerina felt strangely out of place dressed in leggings and a shirt. At least he’d had the sense to tell her to dress semi-appropriately. Everyone else wore survival gear with knives strapped their belts, big boots, and all manner of bags and water skins.
Someone whistled for attention. “Okay, everyone, you came here to prove that you can survive the end of the world. That you have what it takes. Sharpen your knives and your senses. When the drums fall silent, you may disperse.”
She imagined there’d be the pop of a starting gun or something to signal they could commence like at a foot race. Instead, everyone fell silent. Maybe they were saying their prayers. She did.
Connor got very still as though attuning to the natural surroundings.
Katerina’s heart thrummed in her chest with uncertainty. What was she getting herself into? Out in the woods for a week? She’d never been camping, had lived in a manor for much of the last decade, and although she was relatively poor growing up, at the ballet academy, there were many modern comforts.
Connor shifted and then helped her to her feet. “Let’s go.”
“Do you still hear the drums?” she asked.
He shook his head.
She listened, but all she could hear was the irregular hammer of her heart.
“First things first. Water. Shelter. Those are the basics.”
“Food?” she asked.
“That’ll come later.”
A sense of uncertainty settled over her as the woods closed at Katerina’s back. She followed Connor for the next hour, gradually forgetting the endurance challenge and imagining they were on a regular hike. The rises and dips along the mountain ridge afforded breathtaking views. If it weren’t for the week looming ahead, it would be peaceful there.
Finally, Connor stopped and asked her to wait by a fallen tree. He came back a few minutes later with a container of water.
Parched, she took a long sip. Then belatedly asked, “Is it safe to drink?”
“Of course,” he said. “I wouldn’t put you in danger.”
“Except to exact revenge for my pranks.”
He barely cracked a smile. “You weren’t in danger at my father’s.” He leaned in. “I’d never let anything happen to you. And to answer your question from earlier, this wasn’t planned to get revenge for the ballet class. I visit my father once a year and do the challenge so I don’t forget where I came from and to keep up on my skills like how to build a fire without a match.” He winked. “You never know when it could come in handy.”
He’d lit a blaze under her, that was for sure. However, since arriving in the States, a change had come over him. He’d become quieter, his energy more focused. He knew about the endurance challenge so perhaps he was mentally preparing, but she believed what he’d said. He’d protect her. However, had he made a promise like that that a week before, she’d have laughed in his face.
For the next few hours, Connor instructed Katerina in the ways of survival.
“What about our sleeping arrangements?” she asked even though dusk was still a couple of hours away.
“We bunk under the stars.”
“I’m going to have a word with Coach Hammer. This was not in my contract.” She hadn’t decided if she was teasing or not.
They were seated side by side on the ground. He leaned into her. He was a warm, welcome weight.
“Ah, you’re joking around. That’s a good sign. You don’t hate me yet.”
“It’s crossed my mind. If I get eaten alive by a bear or—” She was going to say if his father attacked them because given what she’d seen it wouldn’t be shocking, but she cut herself off.
He straightened as though knowing what she was going to say.
She nudged him. “We can talk about what happened if you’d like.”
He rested his elbows on his bent knees and gazed at his hands. “I don’t think I’ll ever really know the whole story, but from what I understand, Dennis Wolfe built that cabin, dragged my mother out there, and convinced her to live off the land. They were completely off the grid. Nothing wrong with being self-reliant. I admire it in fact, but he went to extremes. She got pregnant with me and didn’t make it. You’d think he’d have gone back to civilization, but instead, he went deeper into isolation.” Connor scratched the stubble that shaded his jawline. “I think in a strange way, he convinced himself that if he taught me to survive, he wouldn’t lose me as well.”
“But he did.”
Connor nodded. “He was aggressive. Abusive. Made me feel like I never measured up. Maybe he blamed me for what happened to Mom. He only talked about her when he was drunk. No surprise, he has a drinking problem—made his own liquor. I think he went mad.”
“So you grew up like that?”
“Yep. Just him and me. The lone wolf. Didn’t have too many friends when I was really little. At some point child services found out about us and stepped in—said I had to go to school. Thank goodness he didn’t realize homeschool was an option. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, but Dennis Wolfe would’ve done so solely to keep me out of the school system.”
“That’s concerning.”
“I’ll say. It took me a while to catch up with my lessons, but the way he’d force me to endure long hikes, literally living off the land, made me push myself to read, to learn math, and to eventually go to college.”
“How’d football become part of your life?”
The sun descended toward the mountains in the distance.
“The teachers and staff at school knew my story. Early on, the only class where I knew how to do much of anything was Phys. Ed. I caught on fast. But I wasn’t doing too good in the other classes.”
She smirked.
“Hey, I know what you’re thinking. You have to admit, I turned out okay and even tolerated your rules at Blancbourg.”
She captured his gaze. “Connor, I’d say you turned out more than okay given your past.”
A fleeting smile crossed his lips. “Anyway, at recess, because I didn’t play with the other kids, the Phys. Ed. teacher asked me to play catch with him. This was second grade. After that, I joined the others tossing the football and eventually, we’d play games. I knew at the end of each day I had to go back to the cabin and deal with my father, but I got through it all because of the hope and excitement about playing football the next day. I was hooked. Obsessed. And pretty good at it if
I do say so.”
“What did he think about it?” she asked, meaning his father.
“He didn’t know. It was my secret for years and years. Eventually, I made some friends—probably because they wanted me on their team during gym class. I was naturally athletic. Maybe from living off the land. Then in high school, I made the Varsity team. That was a big deal. But the only way to play games was not to go home. I’d find someplace to stay Friday nights, some Saturdays, and then go back Sunday where I’d get the beating of a lifetime for being gone so long. He probably thought I was partying or with girls. Nope. I was just playing for my high school team. College scouts came around. I got a scholarship. Left. Never looked back. Played ball in college. Third draft for the Bruisers. The rest is history.”
“School saved you.”
He nodded.
“Me too,” she said.
The next few days involved a lot of hiking and foraging. Connor showed Katerina the difference between poisonous and medicinal plants, edible berries, and ones to stay away from.
In order to “survive” the Enduro event, participants had a passport of sorts and had to complete numerous events that were supervised by the organizers. There was rope and rock climbing, obstacle courses, and one night they had to stay up on watch because word was a mountain lion was on the prowl. Connor assured her it was part of the challenge. He explained that it got a bit boring if they were just hanging out in the woods.
However, the storm that came up toward the end of the third day was completely natural. It had even hailed. While they waited it out, Connor kept sneaking glances at Katerina and biting the inside of his lip. At last, when the sky cleared, a rainbow appeared, arching the sky in a blend of colors rarely seen together in nature.
His eyes landed on her. “Just like you.”
“What?” she asked.
“A contradiction. A storm and a rainbow,” he drawled, his accent coming in thicker since returning to North Carolina.
As they continued their hike in silence, she had plenty of time to think about what he meant. It warmed her all over in a way that was different than the summer heat or the cold sweat that came and went when she’d exerted herself.
Nonetheless, between the two of them, everything became a competition. A matter of each them thinking they could outdo the other. Connor even sang a little song she’d heard before. The lyrics were along the lines of, “Anything you can do, I can do better.” They’d tease each other with it.
On the fourth day, while on a hike, they got in a tight spot where they had to cross river rapids.
Katerina stopped and shook her head.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
“I can’t swim,” she confessed.
“Well, you don’t want to swim in that anyway. Though I suppose we could both use a bath.” He laughed. “Not there though. You’d get swept away, but I suppose you not knowing how to swim presents us with a problem. Also, I know who not to have on my team next time I do a triathlon.” He winked.
Well past adhering to etiquette, Katerina rolled her eyes. Then she smoothed her frizzy hair because of Connor’s comment about needing a bath and wondered just how much dirt and sweat she had on her face.
The bonus of so much walking and being in the wilderness was plenty of time to think. She did so then while she waited for Connor to assess the river situation.
She loved Blancbourg and the opportunity it afforded her but wasn’t sure how much longer she belonged there. Then again, if she or Regina didn’t figure out the finances soon, there may no longer be a school. At least it seemed promising that the building would be preserved. She wasn’t sure what was next. A little voice in her head whispered ballet, but she was too old to join a troupe. Plus, she had a steady job at the school. So did Arthur and everyone else employed there. She had to figure out what was going on with the budget. The little voice that sounded a lot like Arthur came back and whispered Regina’s name. Yes, it was possible the bursar had something to do with it or at least knew more than she was letting on given the fact that she’d been sneaking in and out of Katerina’s office.
Connor’s beard had practically grown back and he lumbered along the tree line, searching for a fallen log. At last, he opted to chop one down.
“Are you building a boat?” she asked.
“No.”
“Okay, lone wolf, tell me what you’re doing. What if something happened to you? How would I make it here on my own?”
“Nothing will happen to me and I took precautions. Even though it’s against the rules, my phone is in my bag, but only to be used in dire emergencies. Not if you break a nail.”
“I already broke all my nails.” She snorted. “You seem to be operating independently and according to your own rules. I don’t even know what’s going on. Teach me how to chop down a tree.”
He chuckled. “You know that you’re adorable.” But he didn’t sound like he was teasing.
A warmth that was different from the humid summer day flooded right through her. A dip in the water didn’t sound half bad.
After he explained what he was doing, he asked her, “Tell me how you escaped childhood without learning to swim.”
“Too busy.”
“With?”
“I had rules while you had chaos growing up.”
“I didn’t take all of the chaos with me. I’ve made a few rules since. Don’t fall in love, never date a woman more than once, and don’t stick around long enough to develop—”
“Feelings,” she finished for him. “What about bringing a woman to the middle of the woods?”
“That’s a new one for me. I had those rules so I could rise to the top of the pack.”
“If you didn’t notice, you got there, football star.” She tapped him with her hip.
He grunted as he lugged the tree toward the rapids. “Now it’s a matter of staying on top.”
“What would happen if you fell in love, dated a woman more than once, or stuck around long enough to develop feelings?” she asked.
Before he could answer, he was walking across the log like a person on a tight rope. He called from the other side. “Your turn.”
More than anything she wanted the answer to his question so she dropped to hands and knees and crawled across, willing herself not to shake because she was terrified of being swept into the raging water below. Breathing took all the effort of trying to drink through a clogged straw.
When Katerina got to the other side, she collapsed onto her back. Her heart battered her chest. She gazed up at the sky, thankful to be alive. A smile bloomed on her face.
Connor lowered to her side and they both laid there staring at the clouds sweeping across the sky.
After a while, she said, “You never answered my question. What would happen?”
He turned his head to face her.
Blades of grass whispered between them. The water gurgled in the background, but all she could hear was the in and out of his breath. Of hers. Not quite in sync, but not entirely off beat either.
Their eyes met.
“What would happen? I’d be here with you, Kat.” A boyish smile washed over his face.
Her insides glowed like she was made of sunshine. She was afraid he’d see the truth, that she liked him, maybe more than liked, but the look in his copper-brown eyes said he saw her. More than she’d realized. If she wasn’t mistaken, he liked what he saw despite the frizzy hair, the uncertainty about her future, and her strict adherence to rules.
Perhaps he needed her rules as much as she needed his lack of them.
“What would you being doing if you weren’t here?” she asked.
“I’m always here.” He found her hand and cupped hers under his.
They laid like that a while longer, two people, lying hand in hand in the weeds in the middle of nowhere and gazing at the clouds shifting across the blue sky.
Eventually, they had to get to the next checkpoint and started out. Conversation flowed easily fr
om there as though the rapids opened a floodgate of sorts.
“Favorite ice cream?” he asked.
“Vanilla. You?”
“Chocolate.”
“Figures.”
The lists went on.
“We’re so different,” she said when they still hadn’t found something that they both shared in common: books to movies, country to city, and mountains to the ocean.
“We’re practically the opposite.”
“Football and ballet for instance.”
“What if we never find something that we both agree on?” he asked around a laugh.
They stopped to each have a sip of water.
“I think we’ve mistakenly thought we’re at war.” Katerina shifted her weight as though considering something. “My instinct is to fight you. But I wonder if we might make this easier if we lay down arms and consider ourselves allies.” She held his gaze. “It’s a good, reasonable option if we are alone out here.”
“Hadn’t we already done that?”
“I mean officially. A peace treaty of sorts. I want to see you succeed and pass this class and not lose your job.”
“Oh, right. That’s what we’re doing.” His gaze dropped.
What she’d said came out wrong, but she just wanted to be sure that what she was feeling was real and not a result of them relying on each other in the wilderness. “Yes, I’m your coach. Though this wasn’t what I was expecting.”
“What were you expecting?” he asked.
“Press events, fancy dinners, and meetings where you were acting like a baboon and I had to reinforce positive behavior.”
Amusement lit up his eyes. “I think of myself more as a gorilla.”
“I thought you were a wolf.”
“Same thing.”
She went on to explain how wolves and gorillas were different. “Anyway, you’re a man.” As he stepped closer, she didn’t want to think about how true that was. A big, brawny, handsome, capable man.
