I’m going to actually kill him. He’s big, but I don’t think he’d ever see it coming. “Flirty bullshit?”
He sighs and places a big paw on my shoulder, trying to comfort me, but I’m pissed-off. “I love you. I knew you had to grow up someday. I just didn’t want Ty getting any ideas. He’s too old for you.”
I push his hand away. “Then, yes. But he wasn’t an animal in heat, sniffing after me. He wasn’t a predator. He’s your friend who always put you first. And then he became my friend.”
“Fine. I know. I wouldn’t have had him anywhere near you if I thought anything different. But when you got older, . . .” he looks uncomfortable now, “I could see it. Things changed, and he still wasn’t good enough for you. I should have put a stop to it before you got hurt, and I didn’t.”
I want to scream, but I keep my composure. “That is not your place. I was a little girl once. And you were my protector. The only one in this world who did. But damn it, Jay, I’m a grown woman. I need to make my own mistakes. I need to find my own way.”
“Not. With. Him.”
I stand tall, looking into my brother’s concerned eyes. “Ty is my friend. He doesn’t see me that way. And you’re right, I did have a stupid adolescent crush on him, but that’s over.”
“He hurt you, Morgan.”
“Lots of people are going to hurt me. You have to stop this. It is not your job to stop me from being hurt.”
He starts to walk again, and I know that thought is unbearable to him. He stopped so much pain for me over the years. My mother was the worst. She brought disgusting men who were truly predators around, not giving a damn. But Jay was there, always running interference.
He stops and sits on a metal bench near the curb, and I walk over to join him.
“Jay . . .”
He turns to look at me, looking more distraught than I’ve ever seen him. “I don’t know how to let you grow up.”
“It’s not really a choice. It just is. I’m a grownup, and I’m going to fuck up.”
“I thought he was someone I could trust with you. You know that it isn’t easy.”
I take his hand in mine and try like hell to come up with the right words. “He is someone you can trust. He is good and kind, and unbelievably loyal to you. He made a mistake. He wasn’t himself that day, but if I’d have told him to stop or pushed him away, he would have. Honestly,” I swallow feeling nothing but pain because I know what I’m about to say is 100 percent true, “he stopped it. I didn’t want him to. I would have gone further. He stopped kissing me. He pushed me away for you.”
Jay looks annoyed and slightly disturbed, so much so that it would almost be comical if anything about this were funny. “He shouldn’t have kissed you in the first place.”
“I gave him the go-ahead. I wanted him to kiss me, Jay.”
He clears his throat and shifts uncomfortably. “I can’t think of you as someone who wants to be kissed.”
“Well, get over it.” I channel Frankie and sit up a little straighter, looking him dead in the eye. “I do want to be kissed. I want to eventually be loved. I’m a grown woman, and I deserve to be happy. And so do you.”
“It’s not easy, but you know I want you to be happy.”
“Well, that involves kissing the wrong guys sometimes, and going out on dates with total assholes, and making a lot of painful mistakes.”
He nods his head sadly. “I know.” He looks down at the dirty sidewalk below our feet. “What does this have to do with Ty going to Texas?”
“I don’t want him to.”
His eyes meet mine. “You’ve talked to him?”
I nod. “Yes, I have. I want to go back to the way we all were, and for that to happen you have to forgive Ty.” He starts to shake his head, but I add. “I need you to do this for me.”
“That’s really not fair.”
“You haven’t been fair to Ty. This wasn’t his fault.” I lay my head down on his shoulder. “I know you miss him.”
“Who would miss that pretty boy?”
I smile, hearing the fondness in his voice. “You.”
He doesn’t argue, instead he just wraps his arm around my shoulder. “I don’t know if we can just go back.”
“We have to try.”
We sit there for a while, and somehow, I know it’s going to be okay.
He’ll always be my protector, but I have to continue to remind him that I am strong.
“You know what that’s about?” Chris eyes me from across the room. My heartbeat still hasn’t slowed since Morgan and Jay walked out of here.
What exactly is she doing?
Is she trying to show me that she can come by more or is she going to bat for me with Jay?
I shrug, not saying a word.
Which, of course, sets off Frankie, who has been uncharacteristically quiet up until now. She gathers her fiery hair in her hand, smoothing it into a ponytail as her next client takes a seat. “You need to tell him.”
Jesus fucking Christ, Frankie. My eyes bore into hers, but she’s unaffected. “You have a seriously big mouth.”
Frankie just shrugs, tugging her gloves over her delicate hands. “That’s no secret. I don’t mess around, and I don’t hide shit.”
“What’s going on?” Chris’s voice is more forceful, and I’m annoyed at Frankie for calling me out as I turn to face my mentor, boss, and most importantly, my friend.
“I have a job offer at another shop.”
The thirtysomething woman in his chair audibly gasps as she listens to our conversation, and Chris does his best to ignore her, staying focused on me. “You what?”
I don’t want to hurt him. He taught me everything I know. He gave me a home in the city when I had none. “Some chick from Texas offered me a job. I thought she was just a client, I swear, but turns out she was looking for someone.”
Frankie starts working on the woman in her chair, but I know she’s listening intently. Chris is calm. Chris is always calm. “And you’re thinking about taking it?”
I try to stay calm as I clean up my station after my last client walks over to reception to pay. “Yes.”
He’s hurt. I know he’s fucking hurt.
Frankie’s and Chris’s clients are both watching intently as their eyes stay focused on Chris, waiting for his response.
I need to add something before he does. “Chris, I didn’t mean for you to find out like this, and I was going to talk to you about it soon.”
“You’re leaving because of Morgan? And Jay?”
The clients’ eyes bounce back to me. “No.”
“Liar,” Frankie calls me out from her spot.
I continue to look at Chris. “If I do leave, then Morgan can start coming around here without it being awkward.”
“She was here today,” Frankie observes casually as she continues to work.
“She said she can come around more without me being gone, that she wants us to go back to normal.” My eyes land solely on Chris. “But I’m not sure it can ever go back to the way it was before I kissed her. And we all know you get one shot with Jay when it comes to his little sister.”
“Jesus Christ, you guys really are like a soap opera.” The client in Chris’s chair looks way too fucking happy as she settles in and Chris starts to work on her.
He grumbles, “Never intended it to be, but it’s morphed into that.”
The woman smiles up at him. “I like it.”
Chris turns his attention back to me. “Jay will get over it, and if Morgan says she’s ready to move on, believe her. She’s not a fucking kid.”
“Preach, Chris.”
I glare at Frankie, but she’s totally unbothered.
“I know that, but I fucked up.”
Chris shrugs. “Who the hell hasn’t?” His blue eyes meet mine. “You got burned. Bad. You were fucked-up, and then you made a mistake. Jay gets that deep down.”
“He’s just a stubborn asshole.” Frankie’s voice sounds affected now, sa
d and distant as she works on her client, and I feel a stinging feeling in my chest, knowing how badly Jay has hurt her over the years.
“I don’t want the shop to suffer anymore.”
“Then don’t fucking leave,” Chris turns his back to me to get better access to the woman in his chair, “especially not to fucking Texas.”
“Texas isn’t so bad.” I shrug, a smile on my face, one that actually feels really good.
“Debatable,” Frankie laughs.
“They have good food,” I argue, nodding to Kat, the receptionist, signaling her to send me another client.
“Oh yeah, that’s the last thing you need. You get fat and lose your looks, what are you going to do with yourself?” Frankie is laughing at her own joke as the door dings and Jay walks in.
Sucking all of the air out of the room, making everything stop.
For a brief moment, things were feeling like they were heading back to normal, but the instant silence just further proves that can’t happen.
“What are you laughing at, Frankie?”
Kat stays put behind the desk, not bringing me another client just yet as Frankie addresses Jay with her usual fearless demeanor. “The thought of pretty boy losing his looks if he goes to Texas and becomes a fatass cowboy.”
Wow, Frankie.
My eyes drift to Jay, expecting a snide remark or total silence. “Good thing that isn’t going to happen.”
No one moves.
I stare at Jay with uncertainty. “What?”
“We need to talk.” He turns to Chris. “It okay if I take a little longer break?”
“Fucking finally.” Is all Chris offers as Jay nods his head toward the back of the shop where our breakroom is located.
I’m fairly certain he’s leading me to my death, but fuck it, I’ve had a good run.
I follow him as he closes the door behind us and turns to face me. We haven’t talked alone in so fucking long.
“Morgan wants me to forgive you. She wants us to go back to the way everything was.”
“I know that’s not possible.”
He holds up one hand to silence me. “I was pissed for her first, and if she can forgive you, I guess I can too. But I was also pissed-off for me.” His eyes are still full of anger, anger I understand. “I trusted you.”
“I know.”
“You fucked that up.”
I nod my head, something Morgan doesn’t get was at the core, it wasn’t about her. It’s about a code, an unwritten rule that I knew. You don’t hurt Morgan. “I did. And there’s no excuse.”
He takes a seat on the couch, his knees bent. “Maybe there is.”
“No.” I won’t let him let me off the hook. “I was a fucking asshole. I was pissed at Evie and confused, but it doesn’t matter. I had no right to use Morgan. None.”
“Did you know she had a thing for you?”
I shake my head. According to her, it was a stupid crush, but I’m not going into all of that with him. “I had no clue. I never let myself see her as anything but your sister.”
And that’s mostly true. I’m only human. And as she grew up, it was hard to ignore she was a gorgeous woman. But I fought any temptation I ever felt, averted my eyes and tried to see her as the lanky little girl she was when we first met.
“You kissed her.”
“I did, but . . .” This could get me hit in the fucking face. “I didn’t see her as Morgan at the time. She was just . . . a woman, someone to escape with. And then reality clicked that this was my friend, Morgan. Your sister. And I stopped it.”
He takes a deep breath, probably trying to decide if he wants to risk fucking up his hand with my face. “You’re a fucking asshole.”
“Agreed.”
His head lifts, and his eyes meet mine. “Never again.”
“Never.” I don’t have to think twice before agreeing to that.
He’s still unsure, but there’s an underlying softness there. “Okay.” For the first time in months, his mouth actually forms a smile in my direction. “I guess I kind of miss getting together at your place on Sundays.”
I smile. “I miss that too.”
“This Sunday?”
I nod my head as he climbs up, reaching his hand out for mine. I shake it. “Sounds good. I got a new grill.”
“Good. The old one was shit.”
I laugh, and he pulls me into a slightly awkward bro hug before patting my shoulder and going out into the main shop.
I’ll be damned.
Sundays at Ty’s. This is insane. Although, this “Sunday” is actually on a Thursday. Apparently, Jay and Ty set up a gathering for this Sunday, but they changed it for me when I told Jay I had to be on a plane tomorrow. I can’t believe they made up so quickly, or at least it’s headed in that direction.
I lock my car and start up the sidewalk, carrying cookies I made this morning. I see Jay and Frankie’s cars are already parked outside, and honestly, I’m glad I’m not the first one here. Even if I was alone with Ty the other night, I’m not sure I’m ready to be alone with him again so soon.
I hear my phone in my bag and roll my eyes, already knowing who it is.
I grab it and smile when I see Tate’s name on the screen. I hit answer and put the phone up to my ear. “You can’t go a few days without talking to me?”
Tate laughs easily. “You avoiding me?”
Yes. I still haven’t told him about Chase’s offer. “No, of course not. I’m heading into Ty’s now though. Can I call you back?”
“No shit?”
“Yeah, we’re trying the friends thing again.”
“Naked friends?”
I roll my eyes and look down at my outfit. I know, without a doubt, Jay will hate it. I have on a cropped, hot pink, spaghetti-strapped, low-cut top with cute button enclosure going down to my belly button, paired with a short, flared, matching skirt. He will definitely hate it, but I love it. It’s fun and flirty, perfect for the warm summer-like evening.
I’m not a kid anymore, and if we’re going to move forward, they need to see me as a grown woman. All of them.
“No. Just friends.”
“Bullshit,” he coughs exaggeratedly into the phone.
“I’ll call you tomorrow before I leave for your house.”
“Sounds good. Go have some good, naked fun.”
I roll my eyes, but I laugh before hanging up and taking a deep breath.
Just friends. We are friends.
I walk up to the front door and ring the doorbell, but I can hear loud music coming from the backyard.
“Okay, Morgan. You can do this.” I give myself a silent pep talk as I go around to the gate, opening it and walking to the deck.
Jay and Ty are actually standing at the grill. Together. And they’re laughing.
Frankie is sitting at the glass table on the deck, drinking a cocktail when her eyes light on me. “Morgan! Thank God, we need some more estrogen around here.”
Jay and Ty both look in my direction, both pairs of eyes zoning in on my outfit.
Different reactions though.
Jay who has a spatula in his hand, takes a step closer to me, standing in front of Ty. “Are you trying to fucking kill me?”
I shrug my right shoulder, staying calm. “It’s cute.”
“Cute?”
Ty looks really uncomfortable as he grips the back of his neck with his hand and stays eerily quiet. I feel sixteen again, I swear.
Frankie pushes past both men and walks to stand right in front of me, examining my outfit as well, letting out a high-pitched whistle. “Hot damn, I fucking love it.”
“Do not encourage her, Frankie.”
Frankie looks back over her shoulder, and I can only imagine the look she’s giving my brother. “Your sister is fucking hot. Get over it.”
I laugh as she turns back to look at me. My head shakes, tossing my blond hair in the wind. “I happen to like it too.”
“That’s all that matters, girlie.”
I laugh as she stands at my side, hugging me to her.
Jay moves back to the grill. “It could be a little longer.”
I shrug. “My legs are long.”
Ty clears his throat as Jay’s eyes land on him, waiting for him to say something. He takes a sip from the beer bottle in his hand and tips his chin in my direction. “Did you get new ink?”
I suppose that’s a safe enough question since my newer tattoos are on my forearms and they’re all tattoo artists. “Yeah.”
Jay takes my left arm, the ink swirling up a good portion of my arm. “At least they did a halfway decent job.”
“Gee thanks, big brother.”
Frankie laughs as she examines the other arm with a lot less ink. “Where did you have it done?”
They take tattoos very seriously, and before I got these, I’d only had Frankie and Chris mark my flesh. That’s all Jay would allow.
“Georgia.”
Frankie nods her head in approval as she moves back to her drink, taking a seat. “Not too shabby. I could have done better.”
I laugh, my eyes briefly meeting Ty’s as he swallows tightly and takes another drink. Jay offers me a beer, I take it and join Frankie. “No doubt, but I’m happy with it.”
“Good.”
Jay finishes grilling burgers, and we all sit down to eat together for the first time in I don’t know how long.
“So how’s work?” Jay asks the question, and I notice Ty flinch.
He still hates Tate, no doubt. I’m sure it’s hard for him to think about Tate and Evie together.
“It’s okay. Busy.”
“Tate still being a fucking asshat?” Jay takes a bite of his burger, and I nod.
“Always, but it’s about to get worse.”
That gets everyone’s attention, but it’s Ty who asks the next question, his entire body visibly tense. “Why?”
I take a sip of my beer, placing the bottle back on the table. “Chase Castle offered me a job as his assistant.”
“Chase Castle?” Jay’s eyebrows lift. “Who’s that?”
I laugh. “Still keeping up with racing, I see.”
His large shoulders shrug upward as he takes another bite. “Football is more my thing.”
Retreat Page 4
