by Lara Temple
‘Oh, don’t be so glib!’
‘Too late for that as well. What the devil do you think you will achieve if you keep rummaging in other people’s rubbish heaps? Do you think you will discover a dastardly plot to defame your godfather that somehow stretches back twenty years to another plot against my father? That you will redeem them from their own iniquity and win your godmother’s gratitude? The world doesn’t operate that way. Just accept that your godfather, like my father, was a weak man who made a mistake, or several. That is the end of this story. Anything else is pure indulgence on your part.’
Except for her garish clothes she looked a model of cool defiance, her shoulders back, her lips pressed firmly together and her eyes disdainful. But her hands gave her away, kneading away at the tangle of scarves, and he was sure he heard the rending of silk. He doubted the colourful fabrics would survive the evening.
Still, when she answered her voice was calm.
‘I know you are probably correct. About them. About me as well. But I must do this. If I walked away now...’ she shook her head ‘...I cannot do it. At least when I leave I shall know I did my best.’
She looked ridiculous but peculiarly appealing with her painted face and beseeching hazel eyes made far too vivid by the kohl. He assessed his options and sighed.
‘Do me a favour and scrub your face clean and put on something that doesn’t look like you stole it off a demi-monde’s back. Then we will talk. Calmly. Is there anything to drink here?’
‘Drink? There is brandy in the parlour. Gypsy Sue suggested having some on hand to make Marcia more generous. Or would you care for tea?’
‘I will find the brandy. Go and change.’
The brandy was surprisingly good and he took it into the study and poured himself a measure and on second thought poured her a glass, too. Perhaps it would make her more generous as well.
He paused with the glass halfway to his mouth at the thought of Olivia Silverdale being generous, the potency of the image surprising him with a rush of heat that flowed upwards from his stomach and then settled back into his groin with an insistent thudding. It was utterly unwelcome, but before he could push it aside it was followed by the realisation that she was somewhere upstairs, undressing. That the vulgar purple-satin dress was even now hissing downwards over her skin, puddling on the floor at her feet with a whisper like an exhaled breath.
He tightened his hold on his glass and grimaced at the unwelcome thoughts. She might be an appealing little thing, but despite her eccentricity she was clearly gently born and as far outside his areas of interest as was possible without being married with ten children. Besides, from what he witnessed in the church she had no positive outlook on physical intimacy.
The image returned of her standing in the church, chin up, eyes closed as that young cub bent to kiss her. It was a submissive stance except for the fact that her hands had been fisted and her mouth anything but inviting. She looked more like a soldier before a firing squad, defiant but resolved to embrace his fate, than a young woman about to be kissed. It struck him as strange then, but doubly so now. Someone so very passionate about life should not look like that when a young man she clearly cares for steals a very chaste kiss.
I must do this...
He swirled his brandy, watching it lick against the edges of the glass.
It was not his concern. She might not be able to tame her curiosity, but he had years of experience doing just that. The fact that his discipline was lagging in his dealings with her was no excuse to slacken control further. She was not his concern. The ragged remnants of the Sinclair name were. Sam should not have to weather any more storms and so his only concern was to push this genie back into her bottle and move on.
‘Oh, good. You found it. Is that for me?’
He turned, his body clenching in readiness to either administer or receive a blow. She was transformed again—she was wearing a cream-muslin dress with rows of tiny pale-yellow flowers marking the bodice and sleeves. The makeup was gone, but her lips and cheeks were reddened from rubbing and a faint shadow lingered around her eyes. She had not even tried to dress her hair, but merely twisted her curls a little more rigorously into an off-centre knot and secured them with what looked like short knitting needles. She looked like what he imagined a young woman from the country would look like in the privacy of the breakfast room, still warm from bed and with nothing more on her mind than embroidery and morning calls. Not that he had much experience with that breed or wanted to. What he wanted was to pull one of those needles and see if that knot of burnished curls survived. Then take out the other and watch it all unfurl. Then lead her upstairs and watch her remove that proper dress as well.
Hell and damnation. This was the very definition of unwelcome.
She sat, sipped her brandy, frowned and sipped it again.
‘This is rather foul. Do men truly enjoy it or do they merely drink it for the pleasure of becoming intoxicated? By the way, I should warn you I have no intention of leaving London tomorrow.’
‘Not voluntarily. I’m aware of that.’
‘Not even under duress. I must at least discover who this Mr Eldritch is. If he is indeed merely a concerned relation and there is another woman involved, then...well, perhaps you are right. But I must try. Well? You said you wished to talk. What shall we talk about?’
How I am going to bed you.
He smiled at his unaccustomed descent into folly and shook his head.
‘Who was that young man you were kissing at St George’s?’
Her eyes widened and a flush rushed over her cheekbones, as vivid as Madame Bulgari’s rouge.
‘You saw us?’
‘I saw him accost you by your carriage and, as you pointed out, I am a curious fellow, so, yes, I followed you back into the church.’
‘I didn’t see you.’
‘You weren’t meant to. So, who is he?’
‘Colin Payton. Henry Payton’s son.’
‘Ah, I see. What is there between you?’
‘What does it matter?’
‘Are you engaged to that young pup?’
Her mouth flattened and her eyes narrowed.
‘He is not a young pup; he is but a good man. But, no, we are not engaged.’
‘If you go about kissing him in churches you are as near to engaged as possible without the priest reading the banns. Why didn’t you tell me this is one of your reasons for wanting Payton cleared? If I am to help you, you must be honest with me, Miss Silverdale.’
‘I didn’t tell you because it isn’t true.’
‘So you kiss men in churches for the sheer pleasure of it?’
‘He kissed me—I didn’t instigate it.’ Her ferocity confirmed his observation, though he couldn’t tell if it was merely a virgin’s inexperience or some deeper objection. Probably the former; her obsession with conspiracies was making him see shadows when there were none. His experience with virgins was thankfully minimal; for all he knew they all reacted like that at the prospect of physical intimacy.
Before he could respond she pressed her hands together, calming. ‘But I might marry him, if I cannot solve this any other way.’
‘How precisely would matrimony solve it?’
‘Well, it would at least solve the financial concerns that Henry’s death caused. I am very wealthy, you see. If my brother Jack had married his sister Phoebe they would have had his protection, both financial and otherwise, but he died and now it falls to me to help as much as I can.’
‘I see. Very noble of you.’
‘It has nothing to do with being noble. I am merely trying to do what is right for people for whom I care deeply. To answer your as-yet-unspoken question, no, I will not cease merely because you tell me to, so I think it is in your best interest to help me rather than try to chase me away.’
‘And so we circle back to your a
genda. Are you always this stubborn or do I bring out the worst in you?’
‘Both.’
He laughed, moving forward to raise her chin with the tips of his fingers.
‘Do you know, if you want me to comply, you should try to be a little less demanding and a little more conciliating.’
‘I don’t know why I should bother. You will no doubt do precisely as you wish without regard for anyone. So far, the only way I have found of persuading you is either by appealing to your curiosity or to your self-interest. I don’t see what good begging would do.’
He slid his thumb gently over her chin, just brushing the line of her lip, and watched as her eyes dilated with what could as much be a sign of alarm as physical interest. He wished he knew which. His blood was simmering, expanding, demanding he find out.
‘It depends what you are begging for,’ he said softly, pulling very slightly on her lower lip. Her breath caught, but she still did not move. Stubborn and imprudent. Or did she really trust him not to take advantage of the fact that they were alone in an empty house in a not-very-genteel part of London?
It really was a pity she planned to waste herself on that dull and dependable young man. What on earth did she think her life would be like with him? All that leashed intensity would burn the poor fool to a crisp if he ever set it loose, which was unlikely. A couple of years of being tied to him and she would be chomping at the bit and probably very ripe for a nice flirtation.
He shook his head at his thoughts. Whatever else he was, and whatever his body was unexpectedly demanding, he had never yet crossed the line with an inexperienced young woman; they were too apt to confuse physical pleasure with emotional connection. It wouldn’t be smart to indulge this temptation to see if those lips were as soft and delectable as they looked. Not smart, but very tempting...
‘You could always offer a trade,’ he prompted gently, testing the line of her lip with another soft brush of his thumb. The sensation was addictive.
‘A trade?’ Her voice was husky and she cleared her throat.
‘I will try to find out who Eldritch is...’
‘And what must I do?’ Her expression was wary, but she did not pull away and if anything the tension in her shoulders relaxed, as if becoming accustomed to the licence he was taking. He wasn’t certain that was an encouraging sign either.
‘If it is about turning my back on this, then there is no trade,’ she added as the silence stretched.
‘I wouldn’t think of asking for something I know you are constitutionally incapable of. It is something much simpler.’
‘Well, what?’ She frowned and he hesitated. However much he wanted to test this strange need that was sinking its claws in him, the thought of asking her for something she had shown such an aversion to when approached by her friend was too uncomfortable. It was a breach of trust where trust should not be an issue at all, and that was problematic. He breathed in and dropped his hand, stepping back.
‘Never mind.’
She moved towards him.
‘No. Tell me what it is!’
The command should have served further to convince him he should leave this room, this house, this peculiar woman’s fantasy. Instead it prodded further at his own fantasy.
‘You tell me. What would that information be worth?’
‘Do you mean in monetary terms?’
‘No. I have no need for your money. This is pointless. Goodbye, Miss Silverdale.’
She caught his arm.
‘Oh, please just tell me. I need your help, but I have nothing else to offer but my money. Nothing someone like you might value, at least.’
‘Someone like me?’
Her beseeching eyes fell from his.
‘Someone with...experience. I can hardly imagine you would wish for anything along such lines from someone like me.’
‘Someone like you?’
‘Unremarkable.’ The word burst from her as if it had been lodged in her throat. It was not her word, and that was surprising in itself. Who in their right mind would call this woman unremarkable?
‘That is one epithet I would never associate with you. Believe me, Miss Silverdale, you are one of the most remarkable women of my acquaintance.’
Her cheeks, already pink, heated and so did every cell in his body. He touched his fingers lightly to the hand clutching his arm so desperately.
‘I will pledge to find this Mr Eldritch for you if I can.’
Her hand did not relax.
‘You will? Just like that? Without recompense?’
‘Without. But then you are on your own.’
She let go and as her tension seeped away he saw the return of her curiosity.
‘What were you about to ask for, Lord Sinclair?’
‘You have what you wanted. What difference does it make?’
‘I dare say it doesn’t, but I am curious.’
He sighed. ‘Of course you are. You will be pleased to find you were spared the noxious experience of being asked for a kiss.’
Her eyes widened in disbelief.
‘A kiss?’
‘You needn’t sound so shocked.’
‘You cannot be serious,’ she said, her voice scolding.
‘Rarely, but in this instance I am. It was merely a kiss, I was not about to ask for your first-born child.’
‘But why?’
‘Now that is a question worthy of being ignored. You have what you want. Now I had best leave before you further crush my vanity underfoot.’
‘I am not... It is merely that it seems a little silly. I mean, the gossip columnists hint you have dozens of mistresses, why would you wish for a kiss from me?’
‘I’m beginning to wonder that myself. Do you know you are the most aggravating woman...girl...whatever... I have ever met? Goodbye, Miss Silverdale.’
‘Wait.’
Despite his better judgement he paused at the door. ‘What now, Miss Silverdale?’
‘Did you really wish to kiss me?’ She looked so confused his impatience waned. His frustration on the other hand...
‘I do, but it was extremely foolish of me to make that suggestion. I am well aware that despite your Spinner Street fantasies you are a respectable young woman and one with a dislike of being...approached. That much was evident by your martyr’s stance when Payton’s son did no more than tickle your cheek.’
She pressed her hands to her cheeks.
‘It isn’t that I... I never did until...’
Anger bubbled up in him at this confirmation of his suspicion. He wondered what clumsy fool had left his mark on her. It probably wasn’t the boring Payton boy, she seemed quite fond of him and the kiss they exchanged had been as unthreatening as being accosted with a daisy. Still, it was all the more reason to leave now. She wasn’t his responsibility.
‘Someone hurt you.’
Her mouth thinned.
‘Someone lied to me and used me and that hurt most of all, but he never... It hardly matters, it is in the past. But you are wrong about Colin. I didn’t wish for him to kiss me because he would then read into that single kiss a hundred things I am not ready for and I would once again find myself in a corner, with no choices that reflect my own wishes. This is different; you don’t want anything from me but a kiss and I am still not quite certain why you want even that. Do you understand?’
He refrained from correcting her that what he wanted went quite a bit beyond a mere kiss.
‘I think I do.’
She smiled, her eyes narrowing, more honey than green. They were speculative now and he remembered how she inspected him that first day in the church—even though she had been tense and afraid, there was that same assessing gaze, measuring his worth.
‘May we try, then?’
‘Try what?’ He was rapidly losing control of the situation.
She could not possibly mean...
‘Kissing. I cannot bear the thought that every time I think of it I must think of...him. When Henry died I decided that perfidious wretch had affected my life far too much. So perhaps this is a good idea. I wish to take his power away and I may not have such an opportunity again. After all, I know I can trust you not to tattle. I’m a little worried, though. What if I do hate it? Do you think you could contrive to be convincing?’
Only a madman would pick up that hand with the cards so absolutely stacked against him. He might on occasion be a little reckless, though certainly less than society imagined, but he never...
‘I could try.’
‘Good. Thank you.’
She straightened resolutely, shoulders back. Her cheeks were still flushed, but the animation was fading from her features and she looked as she had in the church waiting for that young man to kiss her.
Contrarily it was the anxiety behind the determination that held him there. It made no sense for someone as intensely passionate as she to react with such a mixture of resolution and fear to a mere kiss. He wasn’t certain if he agreed with her experimentation analogy, but it struck him that, his own undeniable interest aside, to spurn her request now would be to add insult to injury. He would just have to be very, very careful. He was well served that his foolish impulse to satisfy his curiosity by bartering for a quick kiss had landed him in such hot water. That would teach his impulses not to escape their fetters again in future.
He raised her chin gently and her lips tensed, pressing together hard.
‘Relax, I will not kiss you yet.’
Her eyes flickered up to his.
‘You won’t?’
‘I will tell you before I do and, if you wish me not to, you have only to say so. Now close your eyes.’
‘Why?’
He sighed. ‘Just trust me. I promise I will not kiss you without asking first. Now close your eyes.’
She obeyed, frowning, and he touched her cheek, moving his fingers lightly over her cheekbone to where a downy wave of brown hair curled over the tip of her ear. He brushed his thumb over its warmth, easing it back from her temple with soft stroking motions, his hand moulding to the curve of her jaw as he tucked it behind her ear. Her shoulder rose a fraction and he watched the flickering of her lashes, surprisingly dark and long, the shifting of her brows as they moved in and out of a frown as if trying to hear something far away.
