by A Lonergan
My mind was spinning but it made sense. There was just so much I didn’t know, so much I didn’t understand, but I wanted to know more. I needed to know more.
“Am I going to be safe here?” The words left my lips before I could stop them.
“For the most part; safer than anywhere else anyway. The house is a portal and it moves around so it’s impossible to track or find unless it wants to be found. You’ll be able to feel it if you concentrate enough. If you ever have to leave, think of where you want to go and the portal will drop you there.” He gave me a small, bashful smile. It was cute; it felt odd to think of Keenan as cute. He was just so manly.
“That’s interesting but that isn’t exactly what I meant.”
Keenan quirked his eyebrow at me.
“When we were in the Valley... Apollo took your place...” I struggled to find the right words. Never in my life had I been more dumbfounded. “You disappeared, and there he was, standing in your place.”
Keenan gave me a sad look and glanced away, almost guilty. “I had met Apollo once after Chloe and I had been married for a while. We had been trying to have a baby and were unsuccessful. Chloe was beside herself with depression and grief.” He ran his hands down his face and shook his head. “Chloe’s mother was Hecate; magic wasn’t foreign to her but there was nothing she could do to help us conceive.
“I had gone to town for groceries when I ran into Apollo. I didn’t know who he was at the time. I figured he was a demi-god like the rest of us by the way he talked.” Keenan paused. He took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling.
“He told me that she would conceive the following year and that, when she did, I would be indebted to him. He can use me to gain access to certain areas, but not physically. It’s like he projects himself with the help of my body.”
I nodded, unable to think of anything appropriate to say.
“I hate to leave you after dropping that bomb on you but I feel like I need to see my mother,” he said.
I nodded again and turned away from him to go back up to my room. He opened the back door and there was a brief moment of blinding light before he went through and disappeared.
My fingers were itching to open the door and see for myself but I knew that I had to stay here where I was safe, at least for the moment. I knew the hours would drag by while Keenan was away. I pushed away from the counter and decided exploring was the best option to keep me busy.
Chapter 19
My body jolted awake. A noise down the hall had roused me from sleep and fear gripped me once again. I didn’t know how this kept happening, but I would be damned if this was how I was going to keep living my life. I was tired, so tired, of fear controlling me.
I pushed myself out of the warm bed and crept to the door. It had been two weeks since I had last seen Keenan. Two weeks since he had disappeared through the door. Two weeks since I had explored, and explored, and explored some more. It was getting tiresome to be so alone and have every little noise startle me awake. I couldn’t handle the anxiety.
The first week he didn’t come back, I was a mess. I didn’t know how to contact anyone and had looked over the entire house for some type of phone. I had wanted to tear the house apart in search of something, anything that could connect me to the real world. But it was no use. I was stuck unless I wanted to leave.
For some reason I couldn’t bring myself to step into the unknown like that. I had already done it once when I arrived, but I didn’t know how I felt about doing it again.
I made my way down the hall and kept my ears open and my senses wide open. I heard a shuffle downstairs and made a beeline for the sounds coming from the living room.
I flipped the lights on and came face to face with a bear. My eyes went big before I took a step back. I covered my open mouth with my hand and tried to keep myself from crying.
“Crawley?” My voice came out in a squeak. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I took a step forward and reached my fingers out. The large beast cocked his head at me before giving me a warning growl.
Too late, I realized that the beast wasn’t Crawley. A large paw swiped out and washed across the side of my face. Blinding pain met me as I flew into the wall. My head knocked the floor on the way down and I wondered how the hell a bear had gotten into the house. I tasted blood and tried to stand. My head swam and the room spun. I was stupid for not thinking rationally.
The bear slumped onto all fours and made his way toward me. His body swayed back and forth with each step he took. I tried to scoot along the wall to get away, but my head felt heavy and my body felt even heavier.
The bear leaned forward to sniff me before his whole body rocked forward and covered me. I turned my head just in time to avoid being smothered by his large frame. Something sharp was cutting into my stomach; I thought it was one of his claws until the bear was pulled off of me and I caught a glimpse of Keenan’s handsome face. I had never been so happy to see him or anyone for that matter.
“Looks like I made it back just in time.”
I wanted to pout and ignore him because he had been gone so long, but I couldn’t help but take the hand he was holding out to me. He pulled me up but instead of stepping away from him, I swung forward and pulled him into a hug.
“You have no idea what it’s like to be so alone, so bored. Thank goodness you came back! It’s so good to see your face!”
“Well, of course I came back. I just had some loose ends to tie up back home and some business with the Elders that I needed to take care of.”
I looked down at the large animal on the floor and gave Keenan a sad look. “I thought he was Crawley.”
“I did too, otherwise I would have taken him out sooner.” His fingers touched my cheek tenderly while he tilted my face to the side. “I’m sorry.” His eyebrows were drawn together in concentration.
I reached my hand up to feel what he was looking at. My fingers came back sticky with blood.
Keenan gave me a small smile. “I don’t think Artemis is going to help you with this one.”
“No, probably not. We probably killed one of her prized animals.” I wondered if she would punish me but hoped she would take mercy on me after everything her brother was putting me through.
I slammed the bathroom door closed, unable to help the feelings rushing at me. I took in my surroundings even though I had taken many showers in the last few weeks. The tile was gray and the walls were a light beige. The walk-in shower across from the vanity was huge and could have fit three people. There was another door next to the toilet but I paid no attention to it. It was probably just a linen closet. I tossed my clothes onto the closed toilet and turned the shower on, I didn’t bother with checking the temperature and stepped right under the spray.
The water stung as it hit the cuts on my face but I ignored it. My body wouldn’t stop shaking and I was almost certain I was in shock. I pressed my forehead against the cold tile and let the hot water flow down my spine. I closed my eyes and tried to keep the bear from my thoughts. I tried to keep the despair from creeping in but it managed to anyway.
I let the tears out and tried to not sob too loud. I didn’t know what room Keenan was staying in now that he was back; the only exploring I had done was on the first floor and the basement, which had been turned into a sparring gym. I pressed my palm against the wall and let the spray hit my face. I hissed but let the water wash the cuts on my face again. I shook my head of the thoughts still rushing through my mind and fumbled with the faucet.
I grabbed the towel hanging next to the shower and pressed it to my face, inhaling the foreign scent. I didn’t know how I was supposed to get through this.
Any of it.
For a moment, my thoughts went to my mother and I wondered how she was fairing in the underworld. I wondered what it was like there and if she missed me. Tears pricked at my eyes again. I had never been very emotional. I had probably bottled everything up for too long.
I pulled on a sports bra and a
pair of little shorts that had been rolled up in the side of the bag and decided that nothing was better than a workout after a shower. I almost laughed at how backwards it was. I pushed my wet, wavy hair out of my eyes and slowly pulled the bedroom door open.
It creaked and I cringed. I paused, listening for footsteps and hoping I hadn’t woken up Keenan – if he had even gone to sleep yet.
I didn’t bother closing the door behind me, too afraid of the noise it would make. I was sure Keenan needed the rest more than I did with all that portal jumping and bear killing.
I crept down the dark stairs and to the back of the first floor. I paused when I got to the basement door. Music was blaring under my feet. I opened the door slowly, afraid of interrupting or startling Keenan.
Pat. Pat. Pat. Tap. Pat. Pat. Tap.
The rhythmic sound was louder than the music pulsing around me. I peered around the stairway and found Keenan beating on a punching bag. Hence the pitter patting that was louder than the music.
Keenan stopped jabbing at the swinging dummy and turned around abruptly. He popped his knuckles and his eyes looked me over. I lifted an eyebrow in a challenge and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Came here to fight?” he shouted over the music as he made his way to the controls on the other side of the room. The annoying bass cut off and he tossed the remote onto the speaker. “I see you’ve become familiar with your new living quarters.” His voice was softer this time, almost joking.
“Well, restlessness will do that to you.”
“I don’t blame you.” He tossed me a pair of hand wraps and began to wipe down his equipment. He tossed the towel into the corner and picked up another to wipe the sweat from his brow and face.
I wrapped my hands quickly, not taking my eyes off of Keenan. He didn’t take his from me either. I still didn’t trust him even though I wanted to. My mother didn’t raise an idiot.
“Are you going to stare at me all night or are you going to train?” He asked.
“If you get flustered that easily, staring at you might be more fun.” I smirked at him and immediately went at the adjacent bag. I swung my arm around and delivered a hammer fist to the front of the bag, then kept going with an elbow jab and a few sidekicks.
My body knew what to do even though my muscles were protesting against it. I kept going as sweat started to form on my brow. I quickly forgot about Keenan standing in the corner, watching me with his hands folded behind his head. I was too focused on finding my rhythm with my body and my surroundings. Memories surged forward and I was going faster and becoming lighter on my feet. My overthinking mind was put at ease and the training came naturally, almost as if I had been doing it my entire life, almost as if I had never stopped.
My muscles burned and my face was hot but I kept going. I delivered another set of kicks, alternating my legs and getting my muscles used to the movements.
I punched the bag again and felt it tear under my knuckles. I blinked and rested my forehead above the rip. My face slid against the bag and I was reminded just how long it had been. My whole body protested with each small motion. I slunk to the padded floor and stared at the lights overhead. A dripping water bottle came into view as a few of the droplets on the outside of it fell to my injured cheek. I sat up and came face to face with Keenan.
I motioned at the ruined bag. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how pent up I was. I’ll replace it or something.” I scratched my head. I sounded like such an idiot. My body and brain had to be in shock after all of that.
“That’s what duct tape is for.” He left it at that and walked up the stairs before turning back for a brief moment. “Impressive moves.” He opened the door and went through it in a flash. I couldn’t help but admire the way his muscles moved. I wished he went without a shirt more often.
All I could do was nod my head.
Idiot. Ugh.
Chapter 20
I rolled over and groaned. My body was stiff, sore, and everything in between. I thought I was going to cry. Every movement and effort sent a shockwave of pain through my body.
I let out a cry of despair and quickly pulled the blanket over my head before my body could register what I was doing. The pain was almost worth it.
A knock on the door had me sitting up quickly and yanking the covers over my chest. The soreness was unbearable. I was wearing a shirt, but the fact that I wasn’t wearing a bra under it was extremely obvious.
“Yeah?” My voice was groggy and sounded funny.
“I just figured you would be sore, so I brought up some food. Walking down those stairs is going to be the death of you for the next few days. Are you decent?”
I looked around the room and felt mortified. The room I was just a guest in looked horrible. There were clothes and towels everywhere, and even a few blankets. I was ashamed that I hadn’t been a better houseguest.
The door squeaked open and Keenan’s head popped in. He had his long dark hair pulled back into a loose bun. On anyone else, it would have looked too feminine but on him, it was sexy.
He kicked the door open the rest of the way and gave me a cheeky look. I could smell the bacon on the tray he was holding and my stomach growled in response. Gods, he probably thought I was a pig because of how hungry I always was around him, not to mention the fridge I had emptied while he was gone. I felt my face go warm. I looked down at the blanket spread out across me and refused to look up until my embarrassment subsided.
He didn’t seem to mind and stood patiently by the bed. Finally, he cleared his throat and I felt like the redness in my face had gone down enough. He placed the tray on my lap and I took it all in.
Three slices of bacon, two links of sausage, scrambled eggs, two slices of plain toast, a cup of fruit and what looked like a protein shake on the side. My mouth was watering just looking at it all; I immediately dug in but stopped when I had shoved two pieces of bacon in down my throat.
“I’m sorry, that was so rude. Do you want some?”
The laugh he let out was almost better than Crawley’s; it was rich and deep, almost sensual. “Jessa, I’ve started to see a pattern with your appetite. I wouldn’t have come up here with food if I hadn’t already eaten.”
I nodded and patted the bed beside me, trying not to cringe as I scooted over to make room for him.
He gave me a big toothy grin and made himself comfortable. I gave him a look out of the corner of my eye before I started to devour everything in front of me. I was definitely a part of the clean plate club. When I got to the shake, I took a large gulp of it and choked. I couldn’t get the rest of it down.
It was easily the nastiest thing I had ever tasted. I tried to be strong, but it was slowly starting to come back up. There was nothing I could do. I jumped off of the bed despite my protesting limbs and made a run for the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet in time. The only thing that came up was the shake, thank goodness; I would have hated for Keenan to go through all the trouble just for it to end up wasted. I could hear the rumble of Keenan’s laughter and my guilt subsided.
“You lasted a lot longer than I did.” He was still laughing and I wanted to punch him. Resentment was starting to form.
“What in Hades was that?”
He shrugged as he came into view. “You don’t want to know the ingredients, trust me. It’s something your grandma made me drink when she was training me. It’s not so bad after you get used to it.”
Sorrow flooded me at the mention of my not-grandmother. “Shaskia isn’t my grandmother.”
Keenan seemed to be taken aback by my answer and gave me a confused look. I was about to explain before he beat me to it.
“How did you find out?”
Anger replaced my sadness. “How did you?”
“I am going to be in the Elders’ circle one day; I have to know what goes on in the valley.”
“And no one thought to tell me? Did Crawley know?”
Keenan looked at the floor. “I’m not really sure; Crawley knew a l
ot that he wasn’t supposed to because of his bear senses. He might have, but I’m not sure. I was never allowed to talk about what went on in the Elders’ circle. He never asked and I never divulged the information.”
Tears of rage flooded my eyes. My soreness instantly went away. “Please, get out.” I sounded a lot more grounded and polite than I thought I would. He obliged. I hated it. I wanted him to know how much it tore me apart, but he didn’t even deserve that.
I understood that he had duties but I was angry that I was the only one in the dark. It shook my trust in him.
What else did he know?
I pulled my hair over my shoulder and toyed with it for a moment. A single tear escaped my eye but I wiped it away before it had the chance to leave a trail down my face. I was so tired of crying. I was so tired of being emotional, and I was tired of thinking the same things over and over again.
I rubbed my eyes and willed my emotions to take a step back. Being hurt over things I couldn’t control wasn’t going to solve anything.
When I pulled the door open, Keenan was standing on the other side with his fist ready to knock. His lips turned up but the smile didn’t reach his eyes; I could see the turmoil swimming in their depths. There were things he knew that he had to keep private. I had to be painful not to have a confidant. The agony in his eyes mirrored my own.
“I don’t know how to do this; I don’t know how to be in the dark like this and be okay.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I don’t know what to do now. Where do I go? I feel like I’m going crazy cooped up here by myself.” My voice sounded defeated and my shoulders slumped with each word that left my mouth. There was so much raw pain in my voice.
