by Reece Butler
It was a long time since he’d had the nightmare. It only happened when he felt safe and therefore slept deeply. Neither of those things had happened in too many years.
“Wait for me, baby,” he said, as if she was in the room. “I promised I’d come back for you, and I will, no matter what. I’ll take you away from there, and bring you to somewhere beautiful.”
Sonia would love these mountains, and the cold. She’d always hated the hot Texas climate. He’d promised he would help her escape. Now that he was out of the army, it was possible. Not yet, though. He had to heal and finish his time on the Circle C. He pushed the nightmare away, concentrating on the positive.
Lila Frost was going to make his healing process something he would enjoy. She had the backbone of a tiger but could purr like a kitten. She was not only an enthusiastic participant in bed, she had brains, beauty, and a family that actually gave a damn.
The old preacher on that ranch so long ago would insist his wrecked face and body was God’s revenge for his wicked ways, proving he would surely go to hell. The preacher would also say what he had done with Lila without the benefit of marriage would be enough to condemn him to roast forever.
Houston, however, believed a person’s intent made all the difference. Yes, he intended to do even more wicked things with Lila, and so did Jet. And yes, they would both enjoy it. But most important was that Lila enjoyed it and, when they left, her life had improved in some way.
They couldn’t make her happy, as that came from within. They could, however, help her realize her worth. From what her relatives said at the MacDougal party, they saw her as a loose cannon. They complained about her rarely finishing anything. While she was eager and willing, they couldn’t trust her to get the job done. In response, they treated her as if she was still fourteen.
Lila needed a settling influence, someone to keep her focused on the task at hand. A dominant man, or two, could certainly do that. If, that is, Lila agreed to obey them. He didn’t mean just doing what they said. It was far deeper than that. She had to silence the negative whispers that flowed through her active brain.
Lila had a loving, supportive family, and didn’t want to disappoint them. She thought she wasn’t good enough, as she compared herself to her male cousins, many of them older. She was impulsive, and had done many things to prove herself. Most of them had backfired, bringing embarrassment, shame and humiliation. These memories filled her mind in a vicious cycle of recrimination.
He knew what could happen when feelings of worthlessness and shame obliterated everything positive. Lila wasn’t likely to commit suicide, yet the same negative feelings haunted her, reducing the joy she could find in her life. Her fears and worries affected everything, jumbling in her brain and destroying her concentration, which then had her jumping from one task to the next. And that made her family think less of her.
He and Jet could help Lila break that cycle, though it would require her submission. She’d squawked and struggled when they spanked her ass, yet she had not told them to stop. That suggested her willingness, and eagerness, to submit.
Lila had to trust them first, be aware of what she was agreeing to, and why. Submission wasn’t about mindlessly following orders. A big part of it revolved around the sub relinquishing their fears into the hands of a Dom. The demons which plagued the sub would be whittled down until they were nothing but a nuisance.
With their help, she’d learn to complete the jobs she started. That would help her believe in herself, which would encourage her family to treat her like a competent adult. It would take time, and effort on all their parts, but would be worth it. When she knelt before them, head bowed and body still, her mind would finally be quiet. Once she found that inner sense of peace it would last long after they’d moved on.
Lila’s family actually loved each other. They weren’t afraid to show it, either. It eased his heart to know such people existed. The families stood as one, protecting each other rather than attacking any weakness like a blood-frenzied shark. That description certainly described his mother. As for the rest of his family, the only one who mattered to him anymore was his father, and they hadn’t been in contact since he joined the army. He shoved the thoughts away. There were far more pleasant things to think about, such as Lila.
He would never shower again without thinking of her. She’d tasted so good, he’d almost come just from hearing her gasps and moans. Then she’d moved back and settled herself over him, riding him hard and exploding just before he could take it no longer.
It was only later he realized he’d never had sex without a condom before. Her mother was the town doctor so he assumed she was on the pill. Lila riding him bareback was as close to heaven as he expected he’d ever get. It wouldn’t happen again. He was not going to create children that his mother might get her harpy talons into. She’d destroy them, trying to fit them into a mold that existed only in her head.
If he had a child, and she found out about it, she would consider the baby her personal property. She’d said more than once she would never again tolerate those of her blood behaving atrociously, the way Houston did. She would stamp it out early, controlling the child far closer than she had with Houston and Sonia. His mother had the means and the power to do it, too. Not through her husband, but through her father.
That meant he couldn’t have children. Even with a conventional marriage, his mother would swoop down on him with her swarm of carrion lawyers and try to snatch a child away. If he got a woman pregnant outside marriage, his mother would convince a judge the woman was not fit to raise her grandchildren.
The simplest solution was to solve the problem before it happened by wearing a condom, no matter how much he wanted to raise a child with the love and tenderness he’d never experienced.
* * * *
Lila slammed the plastic plate of muffins on the kitchen counter. She’d been about to wake Houston with breakfast in bed when she heard him call out. Neither man had promised anything to her, other than what they could deliver while her parents were away. She loved the way they treated her, and had let her imagination take flight. Her dreams had just crashed and burned.
There would be no happily-ever-after for her. At least, not with Houston. He loved Sonia with all his heart. He was going back to her, which meant he’d be leaving as soon as he was better. And since Jet said they were a package deal, he would go as well.
“What did you expect? He’s here to heal for a month or two, no strings attached, the same as Jet.”
Tux, the only other creature in the kitchen, blinked at her from a sunny cushion. Deciding she was not likely to give him kitty treats or cuddles, he stretched his furry white toes and went back to sleep.
“I guess I’ll go back to getting my cuddles from you and Rascal, and my orgasms from Bob.”
Wasn’t that what she wanted? Someone to help her learn about sex and use up that box of condoms? Someone who would leave her to her ranch work, and move on? She’d sworn she didn’t need a man, much less two. Something had happened between making those decisions, and opening the door to find Jet on her porch and Houston in his truck.
Before she met them, all she wanted was to prove to herself she wasn’t broken. Jet’s kiss had hinted at it, and riding Houston proved she really could have massive orgasms. But, like in her erotic romance books, there was more to it than sex. Jet and Houston had a depth to them she’d not seen elsewhere. When they were around she felt…different. More feminine, but also more capable.
It had only been a day, but she’d already noted that when Jet worked nearby her mind didn’t skitter all over the place. Instead, she thought of him as she worked, and completed what she was doing. It made her feel more confident.
The two men acted as if they really cared for her, and wanted to help her be her best. Was it true, or would they treat any woman this way? Houston had held her with such tenderness, as if he really cared. Yet all along there was another woman waiting for him. Jet’s demands that she obey
him made her pussy weep in agreement. Was he also faking his reaction to her?
Not the sex. They couldn’t fake that. They enjoyed it at least as much as she did. They were temporary workers, yet already she was hooked on them and what they could do for her. Was she really that desperate, that she wanted to keep the first men to ring her chimes? No, there was more that sex going on. A lot more.
Now that she knew what it was like to be held all night, safe in their arms, and wake refreshed, how would she live without it? No matter where she looked, something would remind her of them. She would just have to enjoy it while she could, then move on in her life, alone.
As long as those few minutes without a condom didn’t create a new life. That would complicate things to no end. She groaned.
“I am in so much trouble.”
The slam of the outside door told Lila she was no longer alone. A blast of heat hit her face and upper body. With that reaction, whoever it was would know something was the matter. She couldn’t tell anyone about her happily-ever-after fantasies. Her mother’s footsteps passing through the hall made her slump in relief. Mom had a better grasp of reality, having heard almost everything over the past twenty-five years from her patients.
“Good morning!” Her mother smiled broadly as she entered the kitchen. “Just so you know, we’ll be getting a better insulated door for your room.”
“What? Why?”
“I heard you squealing yesterday, and this morning you’re singing and cooking. I guess they measure up?”
“Oh, God, Mom!”
Lila turned her back and pressed her hands over her burning ears. Her mom gave her a hug from behind.
“As your mother, I’m pleased my little girl is happy. Make sure you use that box of condoms from TJ.”
Lila stiffened. “How do you know about that?”
“I’m your mother, and your doctor. It’s my job to know, and not say anything unless I need to.”
When Lila stayed still, Nikki turned her so they faced each other. There was only an inch difference in height but Lila always felt so much smaller. Her mom knew everything. Doctor Nikki had gone to school for years and years. She’d been responsible for the whole area’s health all of Lila’s life. She knew all the town’s secrets but never passed any on. Sometimes Lila would hear her quiet sobs when she came home, and her fathers’ soothing sounds as they rocked her in their laps. The next morning she’d leave home with a smile, though her eyes might be red. Later, Lila might hear that someone had died, or been badly hurt in an accident.
“Did either of them harm you?”
“Mom! No, of course not!”
“Then why the long face?”
She could never keep anything from her mom. At least her mother only told her fathers what she thought they needed to know. Lila’s feelings didn’t matter. The possibility of pregnancy did.
“I, um, was too eager the first time,” she mumbled. “After we finished I realized we didn’t use a condom. I think Houston thinks I’m on the pill. Jet knows I’m not, and that, well…”
Nikki pursed her lips. She tapped them with an index finger. Then she began counting silently on her fingers, being obvious about it.
“So, I might be a grandmother next March?”
Lila gulped in panic. There was a long way between forgetting to use a condom once, and becoming a mother. Yes, it was a possibility, but not one she wanted to think about.
“Mom, it was just once!”
The arched eyebrow was no different now than it had been as a teen, when other girls said the same type of thing in the town’s mandatory Life classes.
“You know your grandmother got pregnant easily,” said Nikki. “So did your Aunt Marci, and me. Remember, it only takes one little wiggler to make a baby.” She pressed her lips together in a concerned mom-smile. “I know you just met them, but what do you think about them as husband material?”
Lila wavered as the blood dropped from her brain. She put a hand on the counter to steady herself.
“Mom, you know I said I’d never marry. I want the Frost name to stay on this ranch, and because I’m female, if I marry…” She motioned with her hand, expecting her mother to understand.
“If you marry…?” prompted her mom. “I don’t see the problem.”
“I want my children to have the same last name as me. I know you and Aunt Marci wanted to take your husband’s names, but I don’t want anything on the Circle C Ranch to change, especially the name of the people living here. Daddy told me about great-great-grandpa Luke, and how he was the last Frost after his whole family got killed. I know my brothers will have kids someday, but Tommy’s an engineer and Stewart wants to be a research scientist. They can do the job, but they’re not ranchers. Not in their hearts.”
Her mother folded her into a hug. Lila held back just as tight. She wanted to have a mother, not be one. Not alone, and not now. Maybe the reason Jet said he’d stay to make sure she wasn’t pregnant would be to push her to get rid of it if she was. That was not going to happen. If she was pregnant she’d have the baby, and it would be raised on this ranch. And she wouldn’t have to marry him either.
“My mother never married,” said her mom softly. “We were called bastards, and worse. Mom didn’t finish high school because of me. And then she had two young girls to take care of. It was hard for her to find work that would pay to keep us in food, as well as a roof over our heads. We moved a lot, from one stinking, rat-chewed hole to the next. I hated it. My grandparents refused to help my mother, so we had no one but each other. I wanted my children to have roots and an extended family. That’s why it was important for me to change my name to Frost.”
Lila heard the pain in her mother’s voice. She’d never moved homes, had never been snatched from her bed in the night, grabbing what little they could as they escaped paying the rent that was due, money they did not have. Her mom, even before her grandmother died, had tracked down and paid back every person she could find.
“Things are different now,” said Lila. “I don’t need to become a wife to have children.”
“No, but life would be simpler. Mom, Dad, and Pops are hoping to see a wedding, and great-grandchildren, in that order.”
Lila forced a dry chuckle. “Mom, when have I ever done what the grands expected?”
“That’s true,” said Nikki with a sigh. “For a while I thought you did things just to keep Pops fretting about something other than his health.” Her expression turned serious. “Sweetie, you might find a man who will take your name.”
She backed away. “Come on, Mom! No guy changes his name to that of his wife. She’s the one who’s supposed to change her life to suit him. The women gives up, and the man takes. It’s the way of the world.”
“Bite your tongue!” Her mother gave her a light shake accompanied with a frown. “Your fathers changed a lot, and gave up things they thought they wanted, to marry me. Matt didn’t get the ranch wife he’d planned on having at his side. He got a medical practitioner who brought her worries home. Eric was concerned when he was away, about us, and about his parents. They didn’t retire, they helped keep us all going. And when I came home late, Matt and Eric were the ones who made sure I had hot food and a clean bed to fall into. They never complained when I cried on their broad shoulders.”
Lila winced. “I wasn’t meaning here,” she said sheepishly. “The girls in college—”
“Don’t live in Climax. And neither do their men.” Her tone softened. “Sweetie, the right man will change his name. They’ll love you and will want to protect and provide for you. They’ll be your knights in shining armor, riding in to rescue you.” She smiled, one that meant she was thinking about her husbands. “Or in my case, knights in a shining helicopter. Maybe a man will do something equally romantic for you.”
Romantic? Lila jerked at the word. She didn’t want someone to rescue her. Her father was terrified of flying, yet he’d gone up in a helicopter, in a major storm, to rescue her mom. Lila wante
d someone who would be proud she could take care of herself. And, she had to admit, would hug her if she fell apart after, when they were alone.
Her mom released her and she turned away, hiding her flaming face. No one, not even Danny, knew she used to dream about girlie things. She’d had an imaginary fairy godmother who would visit in her dreams. They’d get dressed in old-fashioned clothes with big, floppy hats, long pearls, and have tea and cookies. During the harsh light of day she’d laugh when people spoke of falling in love with a pair of big, strong men to protect her. Yes, Tanner’s Ford Valley was full of loving triads, but she never believed it would happen to her.
Why would it? She’d never had a boyfriend. She and TJ had tried kissing once when they were about thirteen and quickly decided it was gross. It was the first summer Peggy Bollanski had visited her grandmother, housekeeper for the McInnes family at the Running W Ranch. She and Danny made gagging noises when they saw TJ and Peggy kissing. It only happened once as the McInnes twins, Dare and Grant, passed the word that Peggy was under their protection, and therefore off limits.
“Yeah, well, there’s no love here,” she muttered. “It’s just lust.”
“There are reasons why people lust after a certain someone. The first time I saw Matt…” Nikki closed her eyes and sighed. Her lips tipped up in a smile. “I thought he was the handsomest man in the world. Those shoulders, that taut butt. And when Eric hauled me over his shoulder to the empty clinic, I couldn’t help—”
“Mom!”
“I know, TMI.” Nikki laughed. “But those young men could fall in love with you. If you are carrying Houston’s child, and if he cares for you, you could end up happily married like your fathers and I.”
“Not Houston, Mom,” she said sadly.
“Why not? He seems quite taken with you.”
“We let him sleep in. I brought breakfast up and heard him call out a woman’s name. Sonia. He said he loved her and asked her to wait for him, promising to come back for her.”
