She nodded. “Of course. I guess I wasn’t thinking that far ahead.”
He didn’t say anything to that, just settled her closer, stroking her bare skin. He’d definitely thought that far ahead. Maybe she hadn’t come to the conclusion that she loved him yet if she didn’t think about their future together. But that just made him all the more determined to let her know how serious he was about her. Soon.
Chapter Twenty-One
Matt stared at Hannah, an exaggerated puppy dog expression on his face. She laughed at him, swiping her favorite pink gloss across her lips before turning around. “I know you’re sad to see me wearing clothes. Naked weekend has been fun. But I’m going stir crazy, and we’re out of food.” She stepped closer, sliding her arms around his neck. “When we get back, we can get naked again. I promise that we can be naked the whole time we’re home alone this week.”
His face brightened, and he gave her a kiss, reaching down to grope her ass.
She pulled back, her hands on his chest. “Okay, enough of that. I’m starving. You need to feed me if you want more sex.”
With a chuckle, he kissed her once more before letting her go. “Fine. I’ll feed you. How do you feel about oysters?”
She shuddered and laughed. “Gross. No thanks. I don’t think either of us need aphrodisiacs anyway. We seem to be doing just fine without that.” She bore the marks of their lovemaking as proof of that—love bites on her breasts, her ass still faintly pink from the spanking he’d given her an hour ago. He was insatiable and hadn’t come out unscathed either. Red scratch marks peeked out from the sleeve of his T-shirt where she’d sunk her nails into his arms during her last orgasm.
Matt had banned clothes for both of them on Friday night, and they’d spent all weekend talking, laughing, watching movies, and making love. There had been enough groceries to last the weekend, but by Monday afternoon, they were down to cereal and sandwiches, and they’d both worked up too much of an appetite for those to sound appealing.
He’d talked more about tying her down and seeing how many times he could make her come before she begged him to stop. The thought made her squirm, rubbing her thighs together, heat pooling between them. She hadn’t agreed to it. Yet. This week would be the best time to do that, or they’d have to wait until he got his own place. It was funny that she’d started to think about them still being together that far ahead. He kept making casual references to things in the future like she’d be there, and it had worked its way into her own thoughts, despite her initial determination to just take things with him one day at a time. But if he were planning on their future, didn’t that mean he was as invested as she was? Maybe more, since she hadn’t dared to think that far ahead.
They went to a chain restaurant not far from Matt’s house and were seated right away, since they were early for the dinner rush on a Monday. About halfway through dinner, Hannah got up to use the restroom, leaving part of her meal uneaten on the table. She smiled to herself in the mirror while she washed her hands. Things were going better with Matt than she could have hoped. This was going to be the best spring break ever—a whole week in a big house, mostly naked, full of fun sexy times with her hot boyfriend. What more could a girl ask for?
When she walked back out to the table, she slowed and stopped a few tables away, the smile sliding from her face. A woman stood next to their booth—Janine, the HR director and Matt’s boss. She stood with her hip propped against the end of the table, her back to Hannah, but Hannah could see Matt’s face. He had his neutral mask in place, not giving anything away. It had been a long time since she’d seen that face outside of work. His eyes left Janine, scanning the room behind her, panic flashing across his features when he spotted Hannah standing there. He recovered quickly, arranging his face back to its neutral expression.
She didn’t know what to do. So she stayed there, frozen, about fifteen feet away. It seemed like hours before Janine straightened, shifted her weight to both feet, and prepared to leave, though it couldn’t have been more than a minute or two. She turned around, her eyes zeroing in on Hannah. They stared at each other for a moment, and Hannah still didn’t move, paralyzed by the horror unfolding before her. Janine shook her head, a look of disgust on her face, turned back toward Matt to say something, and stalked away.
Her exit allowed Hannah’s legs to work again, and she took shaky steps to the table where Matt waited, staring straight ahead, a sick expression on his face. She collapsed in the booth, no longer interested in finishing her meal. He still stared, unseeing, his lips compressed in a tight line. She could see his Adam’s apple moving convulsively in his throat.
“Matt?”
Nothing. No response.
Dread coalescing in her gut, she reached across the table to rest her hand on his. His skin felt clammy. “Matt? What did Janine say?”
His eyes looked dead when they met hers. Her hand clenched on his. He licked his lips and answered. “She came over to say hi.” His quiet voice lacked any trace of inflection. She had to strain to hear him over the surrounding noise in the restaurant. He swallowed again. “First she gave me crap about calling in sick today, but she was just joking and wasn’t mad. She asked how my date was going, if I was seeing anyone new. I didn’t know what to say, so I said that we’d been dating for almost two months. She thought that was strange since she’d thought I was interested in you during that time. I didn’t say anything to that, but she told me she was glad I’d listened to her advice and moved on. Then she saw you. Just standing there like you were waiting for her to leave. And she said that I need to come see her first thing tomorrow morning.”
He pulled his hand out from Hannah’s, scrubbing his hands over his face, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Fuck. At least she didn’t tell me to never come back, I guess. But then, she’d have to let me get my stuff. I don’t think she can fire me outside of work. She’s the head of HR, so she’d know that.”
Hannah’s tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. She didn’t know what to say. There was nothing she could say. No way to make this better.
The minutes ticked by with them frozen together like that, Matt with his face in his hands, Hannah staring at him, mute. The waiter came, and Hannah asked for the check while Matt still sat unmoving. When the waiter dropped off the little folder and some to-go boxes, Matt came to life again. He yanked his credit card out of his wallet, stuffing it into the folder, then zeroed his gaze on her again.
Hannah stopped scooping the remains of her pasta into the plastic box at the anger in his eyes, unsure if he was mad at her, Janine, or just the fucked up situation they found themselves in.
“Why did you just stand there? You knew what it would mean if she found out we were together. We talked about this at length after Sandra saw us together last month.” He leaned over the table, thumping his clenched fist against the wood to punctuate each sentence.
Hannah dropped the fork onto the plate with a clatter. “What? What was I supposed to do?”
The waiter came just then, and Matt waited for him to leave to run the card before he went on.
“Go back to the bathroom! Go to the front! Get away so she wouldn’t see you!” He kept his voice low, but in that shouty kind of whisper people do when they’re furious but unable to let it out.
She flinched, then leaned closer to him, pitching her voice to match his. “I froze! I didn’t know what to do! I didn’t expect to see her standing at our table when I got back from the bathroom. I’ve never been in this kind of situation before! How should I know what the best thing to do is?”
“Use some fucking common sense! If Janine knows we’re dating, I’ll lose my job, and you could lose your internship. If you don’t care about me, at least care about how this will affect you.” He shook his head, sitting back. “I knew I shouldn’t have taken you out. But I was stupid and let you convince me it would be fine. Dammit!”
“Don’t you dare make this all my fault! I didn’t hear any objections from
you when I suggested going out. I had no way of knowing your boss would show up. And I’m terribly sorry that I froze in my panic. I’ll work on that for the next time I’m some guy’s dirty secret, and we’re about to get found out.”
She grabbed her coat and stormed away from the table, almost running over their waiter returning with Matt’s card in her haste to get away. Shoving her arms in her coat sleeves, she wrenched open the door to the restaurant and almost ran outside, her chest heaving. Her hands shook as she pulled out her phone, scrolling through her contacts to try to find someone who could come pick her up. Fuck. Everyone was out of town for spring break.
Matt’s hand on her shoulder made her jump. She spun around to look at him. He stood there, his hands shoved in his pockets, the sick expression from earlier back on his face, his anger gone. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You’re right. None of this is your fault. I’m sorry I blamed you and lashed out like that. I just—” He looked away, his eyes scanning over the parking lot before returning to her. “I don’t know what’s going to happen and I freaked. I’m sorry.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
He studied her face for a moment before reaching out to take her hand. She let him, even though she was still mad about how he’d acted.
Once he’d pulled out of the parking lot and headed toward his house, Hannah spoke again. “Take me home.”
“I am, babe. We’ll be home in just a few minutes.”
“No, Matt. Not your house. I want to go to my apartment. I want to go home.” At that moment, she wanted to go all the way home, not her apartment, but to go see her parents. Her perfect spring break now looked like a wreck.
He glanced at her, but she kept her attention focused on the windshield. “What? But you said you’d stay with me all week.”
“I know.”
“I said I was sorry. And I meant it. We’ll figure this out. I overreacted. I’ll find out what Janine has to say tomorrow, and we’ll figure it out.”
She nodded. “Okay. Yeah. We’ll figure it out. That’s fine, but I still want to go home. I need some space tonight.”
He opened his mouth, and she thought he might argue with her, try to convince her to change her mind. But he snapped his mouth shut, the sound of his teeth crashing together audible. With lips compressed, he gave a short nod. “Do you need anything from my house first?”
She licked her lips. “Yeah. That would be nice.”
The rest of their time together passed in tense silence. He waited in the car while she went into his house to gather her things and drove her to her apartment without saying a word. He surprised her when he parked in front of her apartment and got out to walk her to her door, carrying her bag for her. He set it just inside the front door, and reached for her hand again, his face imploring.
“I am sorry for how I acted at the restaurant. Please forgive me.”
“I—” She stammered, wanting to say she did, but unable to lie to him. “I will.” It was the best she could do.
He nodded, not pleased, but accepting at least. “I’ll call you tomorrow and let you know what Janine says. I—Well, I’m hoping she won’t fire me, so I might not be able to call until I get off at five.”
She nodded, not saying anything.
“Promise me you’ll answer?” It came out softly, almost a whisper, like he was afraid she would shut him out.
She forced a tiny smile, somehow feeling the need to reassure him despite everything. She was mad, but she still loved him. “I promise. I’ll answer when you call tomorrow.”
“Okay. Good.” He looked a little less tense as he stared at her for a moment more. Then he leaned in and gave her a swift kiss on the lips, turning and leaving before she could kiss him back.
The door closed, and she lifted her hand to her lips. She shook her head and took her bag into her bedroom, spending the rest of her night trying to distract herself from the pull of her sadness.
She knew that whatever Janine had to say, it couldn’t be good for her and Matt. The look of disgust on the HR director’s face flashed in Hannah’s mind any time she let her thoughts drift in that direction. So she watched movie after movie, gorging herself on ice cream and popcorn, until she couldn’t keep her eyes open. Then she dragged herself to her room, feeling cold and alone in her small twin bed. Wrapping her arms around her pillow, deriving a tiny amount of comfort from hanging onto something, she cried herself to sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Hey, Matt.”
Matt let out the breath he’d been holding, relieved that Hannah had picked up on the first ring as he walked through the cool March evening to his car after work.
Hannah’s voice sounded scratchy and rough over the phone. Dull. “I guess it’s good that you’re calling me after five, huh?” He thought she might be trying to make a joke, but couldn’t quite pull it off.
Sucking in a deep breath, he hoped he’d be able to salvage everything. It seemed possible, but it would take a lot of work, and compromise, mostly from Hannah. “Yeah. Can I come over? I—” He paused with his hand on the handle of his truck and swallowed. “I want to see you and tell you about everything in person. Is that okay?”
“Yeah.” It came out out so quietly that he almost couldn’t hear her over the sound of the cars driving past.
“Okay. Good.” He pitched his voice low too. “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”
“Okay.” And she hung up.
The drive to her apartment seemed to take an eternity, his thoughts running through everything he wanted to tell her, the questions he needed to ask her, hope and dread warring inside him at her possible answers. She didn’t know it yet, but she held all the power in their relationship, more so now than ever before.
Pulling into a parking spot as close to her door as he could find, he steeled himself with a deep breath before getting out. He took the stairs two at a time, in a hurry to get to her, to hold her, and to have one of the hardest conversations of his life. He preferred to avoid hard conversations, emailing or texting if he had to do something, nonstop avoidance if he could get away with it. But with Hannah he’d make the effort. He’d fucked it up once by wussing out and not talking to her. He wouldn’t do that again.
Without a word she opened the door wide and gestured him in, closing and locking it behind him. When she turned around, he reached out and pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her hair, kissing the top of her head. He didn’t know how this conversation would turn out, and he needed to hold her for a moment to gather his courage.
She held herself stiffly at first, but relaxed into him, seeming to take as much comfort from the touch as he did. He wished he knew what was going through her head. It was clear she’d had a rough night after what had happened, and he wished she’d have stayed with him. If nothing else, they could’ve given each other comfort. But she’d asked for space, and he wanted to respect her wishes. Pushing too hard would definitely make her withdraw. He sucked in a breath, hoping that she wouldn’t do that after what he had to tell her, or that, if she did, she’d come around quickly.
Pushing back, she moved away from him. It looked like she wiped her cheeks with her hands, but she did it with her back turned, so he couldn’t be sure. She settled in the corner of the couch, her knees drawn up, her eyes wide in her pale face, her normally pink lips only a few shades darker than her skin. Dark circles the color of bruises smudged the skin under her eyes, and she wore a rumpled, baggy T-shirt over a pair of gray leggings. “So? What happened? What did Janine say?”
He sat on the coffee table in front of her, wanting to be close, but, with the way she’d curled into herself, he didn’t think she’d let him hold her if he sat next to her on the couch. “She ripped me a new one this morning, especially since she’d warned me to stay away from you already.”
“What? When?”
He lifted a shoulder. “That day when we were supposed to meet at the restaurant and a ton of
people from work showed up. She told me to think with my big head not my little head.” A ghost of a smile crossed her lips and was gone as soon as it registered. “Yeah. Janine doesn’t hold back. Anyway, after telling me what a stupid ass I am, she gave me an official reprimand, put me on probation, and took over managing the interns for the rest of the semester.”
“Oh, Matt, I’m so sorry. What does that mean for you?”
“It means I’ll be doing boring grunt work for a while. And Janine will be up my ass about everything, making sure I do it all exactly right. She likes me, which is fortunate, or she’d probably have fired me. She says that if I don’t screw up or do anything like this again, she’ll remove the official reprimand in a year.”
“You’re on probation for a year?”
He shook his head. “No, not really. Just through May. But she’ll be watching me closely even after that, after I get my usual job duties back, making sure I’m still doing everything by the book.”
“Okay. Why do I feel like there’s more, though? Did she say anything about me?”
“Well …” He took a deep breath. This was the hard part. “The good news is that since I’m no longer managing the interns, we can still date. You’re not in trouble at all. According to Janine, this is all on me. I’m the full-time employee, and I work in HR so I know all the details of why we shouldn’t have gotten together while you were interning at Eco Utilities. You’re fine. But—” He paused, struggling with how to tell her the next part.
“But …? So far that all sounds good. Unless I’m missing something?”
He shook his head. “No, that part is good. But, Janine did tell me they’re planning on offering you a summer internship. And I’ll be off probation and back to my usual role by then, which means I’ll be managing the interns this summer. That’s why they hired me. There’s not another place for me long-term at the company if I can’t do my job.”
Always You Page 18
