by J. M. Dabney
My plans were kept between me, Arianna, and Kluge. I didn't want to get my boy thinking I was planning ahead in the event I died to make sure he was happy. My last connection to anyone was my mom, and when she was gone, I had nothing and no one left, but Josh had quickly become mine.
I couldn't believe only a few days earlier I'd loved on him for the first time. Since then, we'd talked and shared kisses because we both knew anything could go wrong. All the bullets we'd dodged was proof of that.
"Do you think he'll show?"
"If I was him, and I had secrets that would destroy my chances to run the country, I'd want to make sure they never saw the light of day."
I hoped so, after this we were out of options and except for making sure Josh made it to testify, then disappear. I'd calculated all the options and what was best. That was all I could do.
The bell over the door signaled someone entering, and I turned my head to watch as the Senator entered. He appeared to be alone, but I didn't trust that. He probably left his security detail outside. His gaze moved around the room, and when it stopped on me, I saw the recognition on his face. It was in the way his jaw tensed, and his movements were stiff. He was an older man with gray hair and a suit that probably cost more than I had in my bank account.
"Mr. Sorenson, I presume?"
"I see you've done your research."
"You were thorough as well."
I motioned to the extra chair I'd pulled up to the table for him. A server approached the table and asked the new arrival what he wanted. He waved her off.
"Since I'm here, let's get this over with. What do you want from me?"
Kluge took another sip of his coffee and placed the cup on the saucer. "I'm representing Mr. Sorenson and Mr. Clarkson. It has come to my and my associates’ attention that you, your son, and parties unknown have made physical threats against my clients. In light of recent events, we for the time being, respectfully request that you remove all financial backing from Mr. Vernon Cross effective immediately."
"You want me to hang my son out to dry over a piece—"
"Senator, I'd be more careful about your statements about my clients. I cannot advise Mr. Sorenson to release the information he's acquired, but I have it on good authority that the papers would be clamoring over it. Can you imagine the headlines, Senator caught with underage sex workers and male ones at that?"
Kluge’s voice carried, and the Senator turned white as he frantically darted his gaze to the nearby tables.
"Can you see your approval ratings? Especially among your conservative supporters. The Evangelists alone line your pockets to push through discriminatory legislation. Your biggest fundraiser was organized by the vastest religious organization in the country."
"Can't help your son is on trial for trying to kill his male lover," I said as the color kept draining from his face. Sweat started to darken the blue of his dress shirt. "You remove all support for him, let him face his charges, and you'll be lauded as a hero. Disowning the sinner and letting him suffer the way he deserves. A clean break, a nice press conference demonizing him and making yourself look like the good, god-fearing man that you are."
If it was possible, I'd allow them both to go down. He was a hypocrite, but his son was a violent man who wouldn't stop. If it wasn't Josh, then it would be someone else. He was already repeating his behavior on men he’d picked up. It was only a matter of time before someone wasn't as lucky as my boy and turned up dead. The first kill was always the hardest, but with repetition and practice, it would become easier. Vernon was a narcissistic sociopath, and his violence would only escalate, especially with his addictions.
"We all know that without your support, he has nothing. His business, your former company, is only a few months from bankruptcy, and then they find out he's been using his employees' money to live the lifestyle which he's accustomed to."
"Which scandal would you rather have? The one that shows you in a good light for denouncing him or the one that will make your chances for presidency non-existent?"
He sat there looking sicker by the second, and I knew his answer, but was as much a sociopath as his son was, the thought of giving in enraged him. I didn't give a fuck as long as my boy was okay.
"Listen, I don't give a fuck about you or your son. You can do what you want with him. But if you don't do what I want, every image I have of you and your son's activities will go to every news outlet in the country by tonight. Make your choice now, because as soon as we walk out that door, I'm going through with my promise. I assure you I don't make empty threats when it comes to Josh's safety."
Long minutes passed as his jaw clenched and relaxed at regular intervals. It was killing him, but he knew what he had to do. He just didn't want to admit that he’d lost this one. He was a man who'd always gotten what he wanted. Born with money he'd and made more over his lifetime, he was in a position of power. And that was being threatened.
"What assurances do I have you won't release the information you have even after I do as you ask?"
"You don't. First sign of you backing out, whether that's tomorrow or ten years from now, I'll make sure you pay."
"Within the hour, Vernon won't have attorneys or financial means." He surged to his feet and left without another word.
"I was hoping for a bit more strong-arming if I'm honest."
I chuckled at Kluge's disappointment. "Are you really an attorney?"
"I wasn't always one. I had other…interests and sometimes still do."
"I'm sure. Do I owe you anything?"
Arianna said she'd called in a favor to an old friend, but I liked to pay my own debts.
"As a private investigator, I may have need of your services in the future."
"You know how to contact me. Well, I better get back to Josh. I'm sure he's worrying himself wondering how everything went."
"Sorenson, not many people would go toe to toe with a Senator over some pretty thing, why?"
"To be honest, I hadn't planned to at first. All I wanted was to get back to my life after a job was done, but I had to make sure he was okay."
"Even if that's without you?"
"Yes."
"Very noble. I don't meet many men like you. Go comfort your boy, and I'm going to enjoy another espresso, and the handsome barista making them."
I grinned as I darted a glance to the counter to find a tall, slender man, maybe in his mid to late twenties. Tattooed and heavily pierced. "Enjoy." I stood and headed for the door.
I'd anticipated some sort of relief with the Senator's agreement, but it wasn't there yet. Maybe when we walked into court to find the army of lawyers missing or saw a press conference. I'd never been the trusting sort. Letting people in was harder for me until Josh. I had few if any friends. That didn't mean I didn't want to take a chance with him. We both had work to do, him more so than me. Although, I'd give him all the time he needed.
"I was wondering how long you'd be."
Arianna's voice surprised me, and I found her leaning back against a van.
"What are you doing here?"
"Figured you'd need a ride back to the compound. How did it go?"
"For right now, he agreed to the terms. Won't trust him until I see it. It's good you showed up, I need to speak to you privately."
I didn't hide the fact that I wanted him to go back to her to have time to think. My need to make sure he was okay in every way from mentally to physically was a natural compulsion for me. I wanted him in my bed and life, but it was more important to me he learned healthy coping mechanisms. While I'd helped to a point, there was a time when professional intervention was needed.
"You want to make sure I’ll take Josh in and get him help. I already said I would."
"Okay, maybe we don't need to talk."
"Sorenson, you might be a bastard on occasion, but you care for Josh. That's more than he's had before and you want to make sure he's mentally and emotionally ready to start a normal life that has nothing to do with pain
and abuse. After court, I'll take him. I already talked with a therapist friend who agreed to see him as a favor to me. I want to thank you for not taking advantage of his vulnerability."
"My mom was very much like Josh. She just didn't survive the last beating."
"He'll do just fine. I've never seen him as happy as he's been since he met you. When he brought you to us to save, I saw how broken up he was, and that emotion had nothing to do with dependency on another man. You showed him he was worthy of care even if he wasn't on his back for you."
"I hope so. I tried to be noble."
"Your restraint ended with denting my damn wall. Next time, find a room not next to mine."
I snorted as she rolled her eyes and pushed away from the van to get into the driver's seat. I jogged around and got in. We didn't talk much more than idle conversation on the way back to the compound. My head was too busy with thoughts that soon I'd have to watch him walk away and I wondered if I was strong enough to do so.
Twenty-Six
Josh
I was barely holding down my breakfast as I walked into the courtroom looking more confident than I felt. Yuri had slowly bathed me in a tub filled with bubbles and dressed me in a suit that was a few sizes larger and better fitting than my last one. My new attorney was on one side and Yuri on the other. For long moments that morning, I'd fought off multiple panic attacks and telling Yuri I wasn't going. His Daddy voice wasn't even working on me. I tried to take comfort in his presence and lap time, but all I could think about was if I'd survive the day.
Yuri had taken care of Senator Cross. A little blackmail and an allegedly mob-connected lawyer went a long way. As long as certain photos weren't released, Vernon lost all support from his father. Which meant there went his army of high-priced representation. But I knew how dangerous he could be when he didn't get his way. I wore the marks of his cruelty.
The prosecutor approached me and came up short as he looked at Kluge and Yuri.
"Mr. Clarkson, you've caused quite a few issues."
"There wouldn't have been issues if you'd provided adequate protection for my client. I made the call that he remained underground until court reconvened. If it wasn't for Mr. Sorenson going above and beyond in his duty to keep Josh safe, you wouldn't have a witness at all."
"Of-of course, have a seat up front, and once the formalities are out of the way, we'll call you to the stand to finish your testimony. It appears Mr. Cross has had to change attorneys at the last minute, but that won't affect your role. As of right now, with everything that’s happened, we're asking he be remanded to custody or put on house arrest until sentencing."
All I could do was nod. I darted a glance at the defense side and found Vernon sitting with a single lawyer in a poorly made suit. He was whispering to Vernon, and his face turned redder, again the rage he directed at me when our eyes met made me take a step back.
"I'm right here, baby boy. He's not going to get to you."
I wanted that move where he pinched my chin to make me focus on him and his words. Yet that wasn't possible. I had to be an adult when all I wanted to do was be little and have him take care of me. In this, I needed to stand on my own feet and just be honest, no matter what was thrown at me. I wasn't proud of my past, but I also wasn’t ashamed of it.
I'd used sex because it was my only currency. Between having a full belly and a warm bed or freezing to death, I suffered through the few minutes of fucking. It was something that meant nothing to either of us. With Vernon, it was my first real attraction, someone I could see building a life with, but then I learned what he was. By then it was already too late to escape. I was isolated and without friends, held hostage because I was financially imprisoned.
Too many stayed in abusive relationships because their partners controlled the money. First, they take your friends and family, neither of which I felt I had. Desperation breeds insecurity, which turns into a dynamic of dependency. Even if the first hit had never happened, he would've never let me go.
I slowly made my way down the aisle, and I sat, leaving enough room for the men on either side of me. Yuri crowded me and placed his arm over the back of the seat. I glanced at him to find him staring at me with affection in his gaze as he gently massaged the back of my neck. He knew his touch calmed me, and until court was called to order, he’d soothe me in whatever way he could.
That's what I was addicted to the most, the way he made everything okay. That's why I wasn't going to argue when it was time to leave. I wanted to come back whole and ready, with no doubts on either of our parts.
The judge entered, and the bailiff ordered everyone to stand. I watched the beginning of the preceding with only half my attention. I could only stare at the witness box and realized I was going to have to face both sides.
"Is the prosecution ready to call their witness?"
"Yes, your honor, we call Joshua Clarkson."
"You got this, baby boy. Just keep your eyes on me."
I nodded as I stood and made my way to the stand. I felt all eyes on me. No cameras were allowed in the courtroom, but reporters lined the back rows taking notes for the news. I'm sure they'd have something to say about the change in attorneys and my sudden reappearance. My quiet, anonymous life turned into a circus—a headline for the morning edition.
"Mr. Clarkson, due to circumstances that resulted in attempts on your life, we're going to refresh the jury about your last appearance here in this courtroom. The defendant, Mr. Cross, claims that your supposed abuse was a result of consensual rough sex. Is that true?"
I took a deep breath, let my gaze connect with Yuri's, and told my story again. I didn't pay attention to the judge, jury, or Vernon. I answered questions fired at me from both the prosecution and defense. Hours of sometimes repeating myself. Even asked if I could be treated as a hostile witness, but through it all, I kept my eyes on Yuri. He gave me encouraging smiles when I stuttered. All that mattered was him and my testimony. Today it ended. After this, I took my life back and forged a new path.
I was mentally and physically exhausted as I exited the courthouse. The judge remanded Vernon to jail until sentencing after evidence came to light that he'd attempted to kill a witness. He'd been warned that charges may be filed for that as well. I said bye to everyone but Yuri and walked into his open arms.
"Freedom, how does it feel?"
"I'll see after I experience it a few more days and nothing explodes around me."
"Josh—"
Whatever he was about to say ended when Arianna appeared beside us. She was dressed in a conservative pantsuit with her hair in a matronly bun. It was odd to see her outside her hippie clothes or her jeans and t-shirts.
"Are you ready?" she asked.
"No, but I guess it's about time. Could you give me a minute?"
"Sure, take all the time you need." She gave us both a sympathetic smile and backed several feet away to wait.
"Do I have to go?"
"Baby boy, you know it's for the best, but it's not forever. Arianna is going to get you some help, and when you're strong and ready, you know where to find me."
"What if I can't sleep at night?"
"We'll be in the same boat then. Before you, I've never shared a bed with anyone."
I rubbed the silk of his tie between my fingers and studied the striped pattern. He looked handsome in a suit, but I was kind of partial to him in his jeans and hoodies or even better, shirtless.
"Every day Monday through Friday, I'll be in my office. Being a good Dominant means I have to take care of you even if I don't like it. You need to learn your own path. I've only given you the basic skills. I don't care if it's a month from now or a year…I'll be waiting."
I felt the warm, wet trail of tears falling down my cheeks. I angrily tried to wipe them away, but they only came faster.
"Hey, don't do that. I'm going to miss you, too."
He pinched my chin, and the all too familiar move did its job of commanding my focus.
"Your o
ffice?"
"Yep, and if something changes, I'll get a message to Arianna with where you can find me. I'm not leaving the city if it isn't with you."
"What if I don't need you after?"
"Then you don't need me. We made no promises for forever. All I ask is you come to say goodbye."
"That I can do."
"You better go. I'm sure she's ready to get back home. I'll be waiting." He gave me the softest kiss, and then he was backing away.
I bit my tongue to keep from calling him back as he pivoted on his toes and descended the stone steps. Just as I was about to say fuck it and run after him, Arianna circled my waist.
"If he said he'd wait, he'll wait. He's an amazing man who wants what's best for you, and that is the sign that it'll be a healthy relationship."
"What if he finds someone else…better? Someone who doesn't need time to figure out his fucked-up head?"
"I don't think he'd do that without talking to you in person first. He made a promise to you."
I watched him until he crossed the street and disappeared into the parking garage. This wasn't him running to the store or going to track down a lead, and then he'd come back to our room. No, he was going to drive off, and I didn't know if or when I'd be ready to go to him.
I let her lead me in the opposite direction to where I knew she'd parked her vehicle away from the courthouse and prying eyes. The farther I got away, the heavier my body seemed to be. I knew it was for the best, so did he, but I wished my heart agreed.
Twenty-Seven
Yuri
I'll be waiting. That's the last thing I'd said to him as I'd let him go. Arianna was waiting to take him away. I knew it was for the best, but that hadn't made the decision to let him go any easier. A lot had happened since he'd arrived in my office weeks ago. As much as I wanted to believe it was real, we both needed some time apart to analyze our feelings for each other without the cloud of danger weighing us down and forcing us together.
