The Imdiko drew a breath to steady his pounding heart. He rose and called, “Come in.”
The door opened to admit highest ranking judge on Kalquor. Wal exchanged bows with Dramok Onziv.
Once that respectful pleasantry was out of the way, his visitor did not mince words. “An indictment has been handed down for Imperial Father Yuder, as well as the other two men.”
His heart sinking, Wal motioned for Onziv to take the seat on the other side of his curved desk. “As we suspected it would be.”
He eyed the senior judge as the man took the seat. Onziv looked his part. Intelligent, resourceful, of unimpeachable honor ... all these qualities seemed to be spelled out on his strong and pleasant features. No one had ever questioned the Dramok’s right to preside over the Empire’s highest court.
He was also a friend that Wal had found he could express any concerns to. He did so immediately. “Onziv, I cannot sit on this case. My clan vies for the Earther lifebringer Cecilia Salter, Empress Jessica’s cousin.”
Onziv’s gaze was steady and kind, though full of regret. “I am aware of your situation, Wal. I am aware ... and I am sorry. Daha fell ill last night and was hospitalized.”
He referred to the eldest of the high court’s judges. Dramok Daha had been in poor health for the past year. It was no surprise to hear he was yet again recovering from some ailment. That it had happened now of all times told Wal he could not avoid the call of his duty.
Onziv continued, his strong voice softened with consideration. “With Nalp and Yij dealing with cases off-planet, you must sit on this trial. I cannot spare you.”
A flare of desperation went off in Wal’s breast. “Surely the case can wait until one of them returns?”
Patient as always, his friend said, “The Imperial Clan has called for an immediate trial. There is too much unrest following the accusations leveled by Councilman Maf and the Ethics Committee. The matter must be dealt with as quickly as is feasible. Even if you haven’t been paying attention to the growing anger ... and I know you have ... your Dramok would have apprised you of the situation.”
Wal could only sit in his misery. He knew what must happen now. For him to preside over the case, his clan would have to give up their suit for Cissy.
Onziv’s face scrunched up, as if he had felt a sudden pain. “By the ancestors, this cousin of Empress Jessica is the one for your clan, isn’t she?”
It was hard to think when Wal’s gut hurt so much. Yes, Cissy was the one for him and his clan. He was in love with her. Right now, that love tore him apart as it became apparent he might lose her.
Onziv looked almost as miserable as Wal felt. “Perhaps when this trial is over—”
“Who knows how long that will take?” Wal burst out. The pain was no longer in just his gut. His whole body ached. “One minute is too long to not be a part of her life.”
He stared at his desktop, unable to look at the man who was taking away the last vital piece of the puzzle that made up Wal’s happiness. Cissy’s truce with Diltan had grown into affection. She seemed as happy with their clan as they were with her. Yet there had been no words of love spoken, no way to know if her feelings approached the intensity of Wal’s. She might wait for them until this mess was over and they were able to take up their suit once more. Then again, she might not. The trial could last months. While Wal sat on the panel listening to evidence and arguments, other clans would pursue his Matara.
More pain thundered through him as his pulse thudded in his head and his jaw clenched tight. The thought of Cissy – his Cissy – with another clan put him in agony as physical as it was emotional.
Onziv’s tone was pure sympathy. “I am sorry I can’t spare you this, Wal. We must put our duty first, however.”
“What of my duty to the woman I love?” Anger made him glare at his friend like an avowed enemy. “I should have Diltan clan her right away so the case will be forced to wait until someone else is available.”
Onziv’s expression hardened, becoming much like that of a strict father. “Wal, an entire platoon turned on their company commander yesterday. The reason they gave was because his clan’s Matara is an Earther. She came to them through the lottery, but his men were screaming ‘abductor’ and ‘traitor’ as they beat him. He barely escaped with his life.”
Wal blinked, his momentary rage quelled.
Onziv slammed a fist on the desk surface. “This matter has the Empire going crazy. More and more people are calling for Kalquorians to follow the Basma. Violence is breaking out all over the planet. This issue cannot wait. You must do what is right for the Empire before yourself or we may very well lose it.”
He was right. Wal knew it, though it sickened him to give Cissy up. Yet there was only one thing he could do.
“I will sit on the panel with no further argument. Forgive my lack of integrity.”
Onziv snorted something that sounded like a cross between a sob and a growl. “Don’t be ridiculous, my friend. There is nothing to forgive. When you have been blessed with a lifebringer, everything else seems insignificant.”
Onziv had clanned an Earther Matara last year. Of course he knew the agony Wal felt at this moment. Being denied the woman who made one’s heart beat was a nightmare no one would want to live through.
Yet Wal had to do so. Somehow he managed to choke, “Thank you for understanding.”
Onziv’s usually strong voice had gone feeble. “Good luck, Wal. I hope she waits for you.”
So do I. Wal had never wanted a drink as badly as he did at this moment.
* * * *
An hour later, Wal’s clanmates sat at the empty table in the visitor’s conversation area of his office. Rolat sat straight up, his legs crossed before him, looking as strong as ever. However, his expression was despondent.
Diltan slumped next to him, elbows on the table, his drawn face propped in his hands. “Damn it. Damn it,” he muttered.
Wal looked miserably at the two men who until now had been enough to keep his life happy. “I’m sorry, my Dramok. I tried my best to get out of it, but there is no way that I can avoid sitting on the panel for this case ... unless I resign my post.”
Diltan’s head snapped up at that. His gaze riveted on Wal as he reached over and grasped the Imdiko’s hand. “You can’t do that. You’ve worked too hard to get where you are.”
“But for Cissy—”
“She’d never forgive you or herself for being the reason for leaving your post.” Diltan sighed and shook his head. “It’s not your fault, Wal. None of this is, and I will not have you beat yourself up for it.” He looked up at the ceiling and scowled. “I never should have revealed what was in those damned records. Both our world and our private lives have suffered for it. What good are honor and duty when the future can be so easily swept away?”
Rolat gave them each a piercing stare. “You did and will do what you have to, both of you. All that has happened is the result of others’ actions.” He went back to looking dejected. “I keep telling myself that if Cissy cannot wait for us, then we have no business clanning her anyway. Unfortunately, my heart is as stubborn as the rest of me. It does not wish to hear such wisdom.”
“Nor mine.” Diltan chuffed tired laughter and shook his head. “How did that loud, opinionated rebel get to me? Not that it matters. She did. And now my stomach is churning because we must walk away.”
Wal swallowed. At least he wasn’t alone with his broken heart. Not that it made things hurt any less.
Diltan asked, “Can we at least have tonight before I retract our suit for her? One last time that will perhaps convince her we are worth waiting for?”
Wal somehow found a wan smile. “I can give us that. Onziv will not register the final judging panel until tomorrow.”
“We will make it a night to remember then. One that will hopefully sustain us all until this madness is behind us, and we can claim our Matara.” In a choked voice Diltan said, “How did this happen? How is it that no woman oth
er than our uncouth, bratty little hellion will do?”
Wal didn’t answer. His throat had constricted, making speech impossible.
Chapter 24
Cissy was already naked when she walked into Clan Diltan’s playroom. The men had stripped her back in that ridiculously grand ballroom, leaving her clothes in a puddle. They’d done that after the expected news that the courtship was over. Expected, but it was still as painful as Rolat delivering a punch to her gut.
They told her everything that was at stake, why Wal must concede to the high court’s dictates. She understood. The matter was bigger than one Earther woman’s happiness. She must put her desires aside, her happily-ever-after. For the good of Kalquorian and Earther alike, she had to let Clan Diltan walk away.
Cissy managed to not break down. She’d known this could happen if Wal was pulled in on the case. The Imdiko looked as devastated as she felt, which was of some small comfort. At least she wasn’t alone in her agony. Rolat and Diltan looked resigned and angry in turns. They would miss her, and not just because she was a potential mother to their children. Even if they hadn’t fallen in love as she had, they still wanted her. There was feeling there, feeling that might have grown had this calamity not befallen them.
Cissy used that knowledge to buttress her strength. She told them she regretted that she would not be able to see them for a while. She thanked Diltan for putting up with her shenanigans. Just to make him roll his eyes at her, she also thanked him for not being as big an asshole as she was sure he was capable of. Instead of making his irritated expression, Diltan uttered a choked sound and pulled her in for a kiss.
“Let’s do this night,” he whispered. “Something that will hold us during the weeks that we must be apart.”
Of course she agreed, but Cissy knew damned good and well that the second she parted from the clan would be the loneliest second of her life. It would be followed by an infinite amount of even longer seconds, seconds that would tick away, one per lifetime.
Cissy stepped into the playroom with her back rigidly straight, shoulders thrown back, jaw clenched closed. One might have thought she marched to her execution rather than a night of pleasure. She needed to be strong to face that these might be the last hours she would spend with this clan. She needed to keep them from seeing her heart ripping apart.
Cissy turned to face the clan. She looked into Wal’s sweet tormented face, into Rolat’s stern visage that more than hinted at turmoil, and at Diltan’s perfection marred by pain. All at once her resolve crumbled and Cissy dissolved into sobs.
Big arms folded around her shaking body, enclosing her in the most temporary of warmth. Wal’s anguished voice rang in her ears: “It doesn’t have to be this way. Diltan, ask her to clan!”
Rolat’s growl answered. “You will be censured if he does so, my Imdiko. You might even be sent to preside over a lower court. Your career would never recover.”
“I don’t care. It is a small price to pay.”
Through her tears, Cissy saw Diltan waver. His mouth was open, the offer on the tip of his tongue. For a brief moment she almost let selfishness win. She almost let him ask. If he did, she would say yes. Then no force on Kalquor could pull them apart. The matter might be very different the other way around, however.
One question. One answer. One clan to shatter an entire empire.
Cissy put her trembling fingers over Diltan’s lips, stilling the words ready to tumble out. “Remember what you told me. Wal would not be the only one to suffer if we do this. Don’t say it, Diltan. If you value your people, don’t do it. I’m not strong enough to tell you no.”
His warm breath shuddered over her fingers. His throat worked. His body tensed. He fought to keep the words from escaping.
The Dramok groaned. His teeth clenched together and his eyes squeezed shut. Cissy could feel the monumental effort he made to contain himself. Her aching heart warmed as she watched him battle to do what was right.
He wants me this much? Does he love me then? Will he wait for me?
Diltan drew himself up, pulling in a deep breath as he took control. His eyes opened and he looked at her. With every bit of Cissy’s being begging for it, it was no surprise to see love in that gaze. Perhaps it was only wishful thinking. It probably was only wishful thinking, but it was something to grab and hold onto with all her might. With everything else in shambles, she had to believe.
Diltan grabbed her wrist and held it steady, keeping her fingers to his lips. He kissed them and smiled at her. Then he looked at his tortured Imdiko with the same steady care.
“Wal, we must not clan her. If we do, you will be taken off the case. Kalquor will lose your objective but compassionate voice in the matter, the very thing this nightmare needs most. Not only that, but the high court will be forced to postpone the trial until a full panel can be assembled. The Empire cannot wait. It is already strained to the breaking point.” Diltan faltered for a moment, pain crossing his features. Then it was gone and he was their strong leader once more.
“I will not ask her to clan at this time.”
Wal’s head dipped down, allowing his mass of hair to hide his face from them. Rolat put a hand on his clanmate’s jerking shoulder and squeezed.
Cissy couldn’t help the sob that broke from her at Diltan’s words. He caressed her cheek and bent to kiss her lips. “It’s only for a little while, my sweet. I swear when this is done, nothing will keep me from being at your door the very next second.”
Wal’s breath hitched, but when he raised his face again, it was filled with resolve. “I will permit no delays in the proceedings, Cissy. No one will stall the case for ridiculous reasons. I will fight any and all attempts to do so.”
“That’s good,” she managed in a weak version of her mocking tone. “I hate the thought of Diltan backsliding into being such an ass again without me around to put him right.”
That made the three men chuckle. Diltan grabbed her to pull her close against his strong, gorgeous body. “My little brat, if you will have us when this is all over, we will re-apply for your consideration.”
If she would have them? Cissy knew there was no other clan for her.
Love isn’t all sunshine and flowers. It’s not even close. It’s more like a version of Hell. But hey, for me it would be par for the course. Everything to do with me has to be contrary.
She gave Diltan a light punch on the chest. “You’d better re-apply for me. I can’t keep you from pursuing other candidates, but be warned. If I catch you with any other Earther girl, I will kick her ass all over the Empire.”
Rolat made one of his animal sounds. He stared at her in disbelief. “Pursue others? Fah.” He made the last sound as if he was spitting out something disgusting. “There are no other Earther girls as far as I am concerned. There is only my Cissy.”
Hearing him say that made fresh tears spring to her eyes. Damn it, when did I become such a weak bawl-baby? she wondered. But it gave that tiny beam of hope in her heart more to shine about.
Diltan kissed the moisture trailing down her cheeks. In a firm tone, he said, “Enough of this. I don’t want tonight spent in regretting what must happen. We will enjoy our time together.”
He scooped her up in muscled arms, arms that felt strong enough to shield the entire Empire. It was a shame it was only an illusion. Still, Cissy tried to let the fantasy steal her away from despair.
Diltan carried her to a padded table on one side of the room. It had soft restraints, but the Dramok did not bind her.
“You will allow whatever we wish,” he said. His usual commanding tone was soft, and his gaze on her filled with pained warmth. “You will obey because you want to, not because you are made to.”
“Yes, Dramok.” Cissy licked her lips as the now-familiar curl of arousal wove within her belly. The idea of surrender made anticipation spike despite her glum mood.
This could be our last time together. It will be if I don’t show them how much they mean to me.
&nbs
p; The thought made her bite her trembling lip. She blinked hard against the tears that wanted to come.
Rolat looked to his clan leader. “I think she needs to be taken out of her thoughts, my Dramok.”
Diltan nodded, his gaze never leaving Cissy’s face. “No one can accomplish that better than your dysf, my Nobek.”
“An excellent choice.”
Rolat turned and left them to stride to the wall where tools of discipline hung. He selected what looked to Cissy like a cross between a fishing rod and a crop. The handle was thick to fit his ham-sized hand, but the length of it was slender, tapering to a tip that looked no thicker around than a guitar string.
Cissy’s latest surge of sorrow abated in an instant. She licked her lips as Rolat returned to the table that she lay on.
His smile was a strange twist of adoration and danger. “This delivers only a slight sting, but the effects can be profound. What do you say if it becomes too much?”
Her voice gone husky with anticipation, Cissy answered, “Sholt, Nobek.”
“Very good. Raise your arms over your head. Spread your legs. Excellent. Now remain that way until you are told otherwise.”
Rolat’s arm raised, and the slender length of the dysf trembled over Cissy’s body. She tensed, gripping the edge of the table in her hands, readying for the first blow.
The Nobek’s arm flashed in a blur, whipping up and down at fantastic speed. Cissy couldn’t even see the dysf anymore, so quickly did it move. She didn’t feel it either, not for a couple of seconds.
When the sensation came, it started at her chest, on the upper part of her breasts. Tiny, peppering stings crawled over her flesh. It felt like a slightly sharper version of pins and needles, similar to when her foot’s circulation was restored after having fallen asleep. Each swat on its own was not much, certainly nothing to even make Cissy wince. The cumulative effect was another matter.
Cissy gasped and writhed beneath the discipline, her body’s awareness of sensation coming into sharp focus. She couldn’t keep from reacting, but she managed to stay in the pose Rolat had demanded of her. Though it was impossible to follow the dysf with her eyes, she could feel its effects from her chest to just above her knees. Even her mound felt the tiny bite of the tool, warming under its passage over her flesh.
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