Complications
Elsie woke up early Sunday morning. The sun was just coming up, shedding a soft light into the bedroom. As usual, her eyes shifted their gaze to the picture on the dresser. Her beloved Raul. Elsie had a wonderful time yesterday. When they finally rolled in at eleven thirty, unheard of for her since she couldn’t remember when, they both settled for a warm hand hold. A hug or a kiss just seemed too strange. There were the growing inklings of guilt as she got ready for bed, quietly, leaving the light off.
She knew these feelings of...what were they? Guilt? Over what? Finally enjoying herself with, with...with another man. She sighed. Once her room had a number of images of Raul. There were those where there was the two of them together, him on a fishing trip with their two sons. Those had been retired, for her therapist recommended she begin the process of letting go a while back. But there was still that one she could not put away. It showed so much of what she and he were together.
It was taken in the Silver Screen Salon. Elsie was in one of the booth chairs. The picture was taken by one of her employees and it was one of those chance images that just couldn’t have come out any better. The angle was just behind and to the right, allowing a rear/side view of Raul and her as he was ‘playing stylist’, and it also had a reflection off the mirror, showing both of them from a front view at the same time.
Raul had a brush in the left hand, extended over Elsie’s left shoulder, while his right held a long comb elegantly held up to the sky. You could almost hear the ‘voila’ from his eyebrows raised and mouth open. Elsie’s face was ecstatic, laughing, hands to her cheeks, eyes nearly closed.
No, it wasn’t right at all how she was feeling, but there it was. She was unfaithful. Sort of. If you were going to apply cruel logic, then Raul had abandoned her. There were extenuating circumstances, of course. He had a heart attack. He died. Bottom line was still the same. She was abandoned, albeit involuntarily. She went out on a date with another man, voluntarily, but she was a widow. Extenuating circumstance. She couldn’t hug Sam or kiss him because she knew she would come back to this room and see Raul again, hear her own laughter in that imprisoned moment in the picture, and his mock French accent proclaiming his magnificent coiffure creation. Elsie buried her face into her pillow. The hoped for and dreaded ring of her telephone politely but firmly asked for her attention.
Sam woke, again. He hadn’t slept well. His mind was a tumble and a jumble of soft voices echoing in his head. They were few, but competed like the orchestra pit when it first starts tuning up. With some effort, he divided the voices.
There was the loudest soft voice; Elsie. Her immediacy and the joy he felt with her after being alone for so long gave her voice the clearest presence. There was laughter, wit, humor, intelligence. There was that rescue she pulled for Randy DeRosa and his Dad.
There was a softer voice, faded in time but still present by virtue of decades of familiarity. It was to this voice, and to the picture on the lamp table next to his bed, he addressed his feelings. “Gracie? Can you forgive me? You loved me so long and so well. Maybe that should be enough to last me for the time you aren’t here. But part of the problem was that you DID love me so long and so well. Old girl, you spoiled me. I want to be loved again. Who? You know darned well who...don’t play innocent with me. Lord. How would I feel if I looked down from Heaven and saw you hot footing it with Raul? Maybe it would hurt. I don’t know. Probably a little. But I’d like to think I’d of been happy for you, more happy than hurt. Gracie? It’s Elsie. Yes THAT Elsie. We had a wonderful time yesterday on our first...um...ahem...date. Nothing happened! Just a hand shake at the end, that was all. But I still feel funny about it. What? You think I should? All right, beloved. Maybe she’s feeling the same as I am.”
Sam picked up the phone. It was seven fifteen.
“Hello, Gracie?”
“Well, who else would it be? You dialed my number.”
“My own words back at me. That’s fair. How you doing? Feeling ok?”
“Sam, I’m sorry. I’m feeling kind of, out of sorts.”
He knew she wasn’t talking about a physical illness. “Sort of the same thing here. I talked to Gracie this morning, sort of. Got the impression she felt I should call you. You know, I think she still likes you.”
“You...really think so? Is she ok with our going out together?”
“You know Gracie. She was always a sucker for those ‘girl next door’ stories. Guess what? You’re a girl, and gee, where do you happen to live?”
“You’re a funny man, Sam. Thank you. I feel a little better.”
“Always glad to help a damsel in distress. I’m your knight in shining Plymouth. Elsie? How does Raul think of me now?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t ask. I’m not sure HOW to ask.”
“It’s not all that hard, Elsie. You are very perceptive. Look at how you salvaged the deal yesterday with the DeRosa kid. Elsie, you have a big heart that listens very well. Just ask him. Maybe he’ll answer right away, maybe in a dream. Besides, keep in mind something. He’s up there in Heaven. So’s Gracie. What do you want to bet they’re having some picnics of their own?”
“Oh? Now there’s a thought. Sam, it’s your turn to brew...I think. We’ll talk in a bit.”
Sam promised his best brew and added he’d go ahead with the nibble preparation as well since she had some heart to heart yet to accomplish. Elsie got up, slipped on her robe and fuzzy slippers, and went to the bottom large drawer under the mirror. There were five framed pictures, which she set out next to the one she was looking at earlier.
The one she had to get rid of first was a shot that could have been a publicity image for an old time movie star. It was black and white, and the photographer had somehow increased the lighting to the eyes, giving them a penetrating, soulful look. Standing back and surveying the gallery, she then addressed her memories and her husband.
“SO, you and Gracie are strolling about up there together, are you? Well, good! I wouldn’t want you to be lonely. I also don’t want you feeling bad about me being down here miserable. So, lover boy. Let’s get some things straight.
“I love you. No one will ever replace you, so I won’t try. You gave me so much, including your devotion and charm, and two fine sons. I can’t repay you, but I can honor you. Since you love me with all your heart, I would dishonor your wishes by being miserable. Ergo, to wit and whatever legal stuff you want to throw in there, I am going to see if I can be happy down here until you and I can meet again up there.
“Raul, beloved husband, please, tell me it’s ok.”
Twenty minutes later, there was a knock on Sam’s door. He let in his dearest friend who had a most peculiar look on her face. She helped him bring out the hot corn muffins and the java carafe. Once settled in, “Well? What did he say?”
“He listened while I ranted for a bit, like he usually did. That’s a fair warning to you, by the way. He said he wants me to be happy again, and that he couldn’t imagine a better person or a worse bridge player than you.”
“HEY!”
“Finally, Raul told me that I’ve been a bit too bossy with you. Guess it was a carry over from having to run a business for so long. So, would you like to go on a second date today?”
“Only if we cut the itinerary a bit. I like doing things, but one at a time. Is that all right?”
“I can live with that. Heh. Guess I went a little overboard yesterday. I missed going out so much, well, I got carried away. Now, you chose the list yesterday, but I was the one who chose to do all of them. Now, tell you what. How about you find one or two things you would really like to do, and I’ll agree carte blanche to participate with all my heart.”
Sam smiled, looked up to the ceiling and said, “Thanks, both of you.” He opened the paper and scanned the two pages of ‘things to do in Madison’ adverts. His eyes locked on one item. “Oh,
it CAN’T be! Really!? Oh, this is wonderful! Look, there’s a tractor pull with monster trucks and everything!”
Elsie looked in smiling horror, gulped, and squeaked out, “Okayyy. Fine. That sounds, fabulous.”
Sam couldn’t hide his mirth any further than that and roared out his delight at the look on her face. The look changed. It was a much harder look, as she reached down and took the whole tray of corn muffins.
“They’re mine...all mine. Now choose for real or we’ll go shoe shopping.”
One More Time Page 5
