Chasing Power

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Chasing Power Page 18

by Sarah Beth Durst


  “I’m sorry.” The words didn’t go far enough. They sounded hollow, even though she meant them. She hadn’t intended to scare Moonbeam. She’d meant to make things better.

  “Are you all right? Why didn’t you call?” She stroked Kayla’s hair as she talked. “You were supposed to be home in two hours! That’s all! A shopping spree with Selena! Where have you been? Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?”

  Kayla pulled back. “No, nothing like that. I’m fine. I—” Her mother looked so stricken. The words lodged in Kayla’s throat. She didn’t want to lie.

  “Were you with that boy?” Moonbeam asked.

  Kayla nodded.

  “You couldn’t call? Just once? Just to tell me where you are. Or that you’re alive.” There were tears, fresh in Moonbeam’s eyes. They threatened to spill down her cheeks.

  “I thought you wouldn’t understand.” There, that wasn’t a lie.

  “Do you think you’re in love?” There was an edge to Moonbeam’s voice.

  Drawing back farther, Kayla looked at her, really looked. Her face was pale, more than simply makeup-less pale. Her eyes were sunken, and the circles underneath were so dark that they looked like bruises. Her hair was loose and snarled, the frizz matted in several places. “No,” Kayla said. She’d never thought of Moonbeam as fragile before. Needing taking care of, yes. Needing protection and watching, yes. But not breakable.

  “Good.”

  Kayla tried to think of what to say, a plausible lie that wouldn’t feel like a lie, or at least words that would soothe her.

  Moonbeam stood up. “Oh, Kayla, I’m so very disappointed in you. I thought I could trust you. You were my mature girl, taking care of me. But I suppose I was asking too much of you. You are still a girl, my little girl, who will make mistakes and learn and grow … exactly as you’re supposed to.” She didn’t sound angry; she sounded sad, which was worse.

  Kayla didn’t know what to say to that. She couldn’t promise it wouldn’t happen again. “I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself—and you. You can trust me to do that.”

  Moonbeam shook her head, and her hair rustled softly. “I’m supposed to take care of you, not the other way around, and I clearly haven’t been doing a good job of it.” She shuffled over to a basket. Setting it upright, she selected several pouches of herbs. “You won’t like this, but believe me, it’s for your own good. You need boundaries. Limits. You need someone to set rules for you and say enough is enough. And that someone is supposed to be your parent. Me. So from here on in, I will be the parent that you need, not the parent you want.”

  “Moonbeam?” Kayla stood, alarmed. “Mom, you’re a wonderful parent. You’re fine. I’m the one who screwed up. I should have found a way to call you. I didn’t mean to worry you. There was just … It was … I can’t explain yet. But please believe me, I’m doing the right thing. You have to trust me.”

  “You violated my trust.” Moonbeam picked up the Kayla doll, and she dropped it into the basket of herbs. “Unless you can explain in much more detail?” She straightened the piles of books. She scooped up the crystals and positioned them on the shelves. She folded scarves and ribbons. Watching her, Kayla felt her heart sink. Her mother only cleaned this frenetically when she was seriously upset. And she only let the house get this messy when she was seriously worried.

  “I … I can’t explain. Not right now.”

  Moonbeam sighed as she worked. She piled various amulets and statues on the kitchen table, and then sorted them rapidly into piles that seemed random to Kayla. “I remember being your age. You feel like you’re alone. You can’t trust anyone. No one understands. But it’s not true. You can trust me.”

  Kayla thought of the photo in her pocket. She wanted to ask about Daniel’s mother and why Moonbeam had kept in touch, even going as far as to tell them Kayla’s new name and where they lived, but then she’d have to explain how she knew.

  “If you truly are dealing with something major, you need to tell me so I can help you.” Soon, she’d cleared a path from the beds to the kitchen and also the door.

  Kayla wanted so desperately to tell her. Just dump the entire thing on her mother’s lap and let her help. But Moonbeam wouldn’t help. She’d want to run.

  “For the rest of the summer, until you have a little space from what you are feeling, a little distance from this boy, I need you to stay here. You may come with me to run errands. If you want to accompany me to work, that’s fine. But otherwise, I want you here. I need you here. For my peace of mind, as well as for your safety.” Retrieving the basket of herbs, Moonbeam walked out the door into the garden. Kayla followed. Speaking softly, Moonbeam recited the melodious words that slid through the air and then vanished as she paced the perimeter of the yard, circling the house counterclockwise, tossing herbs at the hedges. Like green and brown snow, they sprinkled on the bushes, the gnomes, the ceramic fairies, and the circle of protective stones.

  “Moonbeam—”

  “The boy is obviously a bad influence on you, and Selena can’t be trusted either. You convinced her to lie for you. Several times. I don’t want you to see either of them for several weeks. One month. After that, we’ll reevaluate.” She continued to walk as she talked, reinforcing the protection ring around the house. Kayla had never seen her do this when it wasn’t the solstice, and she’d never used herbs. It was always incense and candles. The fact that she was varying from her routine … She must be beyond severely upset. Kayla had to fix this.

  Kayla hurried after her. “Moonbeam—”

  “This isn’t open to discussion, Kayla. I’m your mother, and I am, for once, going to act like it.” Moonbeam completed the circle and wiped her hands on her skirt. The crushed herbs left streaks on the fabric, but she didn’t seem to notice. “I need to return to work. I do have responsibilities. Rent doesn’t pay itself. The food you eat doesn’t magically appear in the refrigerator.” She leveled her finger at Kayla. “You will be here when I get back.”

  “I have responsibilities too.”

  “Kayla. You’re making poor decisions. You need some time apart from the bad influences in your life, to think about your priorities and your role in this family. This is for your own good. You need to focus and regroup.”

  Kayla felt as if she’d been slapped. The air was sucked out of her. Moonbeam never spoke to her with that tone of voice.

  Moonbeam’s expression softened. “I love you, Kayla. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t love you. You know that, right?” She carried the basket back into the house, stowed it on a shelf, and fetched her purse.

  “Wait, Moonbeam, I’m doing something important!”

  At the door, Moonbeam spun to face her. She seemed to tower, her expression not at all like that of the mild hippie-like woman she portrayed. “Then tell me what you’re doing! Convince me! I’ll listen.”

  “Can’t you just … trust me?”

  “You didn’t come home. You didn’t call. You won’t explain. No, I can’t trust you. You’re doing something I wouldn’t approve of, otherwise you’d tell me. So the answer is no.” Softer, she said, “I’m sorry, Kayla.”

  She was right, in a way. Moonbeam would never approve of what Kayla was doing with Daniel. But still, she had to do it. “Just … please trust me for a few days more. I promise after that, everything will be fine. Better than fine. I just … can’t tell you why. Moonbeam, before this, have I ever let you down? Disappointed you in any way?”

  “Tell me this one thing and tell me honestly. Are you using your power?”

  Kayla opened her mouth to lie. But the words wouldn’t come out.

  Sadly, Moonbeam nodded. “I’ll be home with dinner.” And then she left. Kayla trailed her into the garden, then slowed, watching as she marched out the gate without a backward glance, her shoulders stiff and her back straight. The chimes rang in her wake. Kayla sank onto the bench. How had everything gone so wrong so fast?

  She took a minute to breathe, and then she did “focus and regroup
.” She wouldn’t let this stop her. She couldn’t. Not now. Not when she was so close to making everything better!

  Marching back into the house, she pulled out her emergency backpack and added extra food and water. She then checked her pockets. The lighter had fuel, but the razor blade was dull. She fetched a new one. Prepared, she paced around the house.

  Yanking out her phone, she texted Daniel, Ready to look for next stone? He probably hadn’t had a chance to recover yet, but she had three hours until Moonbeam would be back from work. If he came anytime in that window, she’d be fine. If he didn’t and Moonbeam caught Kayla leaving … she couldn’t imagine what the fallout would be like. She’d never seen Moonbeam like this.

  Kayla tried to call Selena, then sent a text and an email.

  She then tried Daniel again.

  No response from either.

  After a while, she grew tired of waiting for them. There was only so long one could wrap oneself in misery and angst and gritty determination before it lost its luster.

  She fetched Moonbeam’s pruners and gardening gloves and set to work outside yanking up weeds and trimming the bushes. Sawing at a particularly thick weed, she pictured her father, standing with the stone in his hand, leaving her with Daniel injured. The weed was healthy, and the stalk resisted the pruner. She hacked at it with a trowel and then stabbed it with the pruners until it oozed white sap. After the weed fell, she stomped on it for good measure, completely aware she was stomping on her metaphorical father. It made her feel minutely better.

  She could do this. She could stop him. She could fix everything. Kayla repeated that to herself as she attacked the next weed, then the next.

  The chimes rang—someone was here! Carrying the pruners, she rushed to the gate and opened it. She felt a wave of dizziness crash through her, and she steadied herself on the hedges.

  “Kayla?” It was Daniel.

  He grasped her shoulders and propelled her backward to sit on the bench. She sank into it and then shook her head as the dizziness cleared. “Hey. Sorry. Just felt a little … I’m fine. Are you okay?” She studied him. He seemed worn down, but he wasn’t shaking or anything.

  “Yeah.” He scuffed at the dirt with his toe. “Got your message. You really think we still have a chance? You think the third one is still hidden?”

  Kayla shrugged. “My bet is that my father is on the third trail right now. It would be nice to get there first.”

  Daniel flashed her a smile. “Then let’s do this.”

  Grabbing her pack, she took his hand. The world flashed around them.

  Instantly, her stomach constricted and flipped. It heaved up toward her mouth. She dropped to her knees, holding her stomach as the world spun around her.

  She heard Daniel’s voice, calling her name, and then she felt as if her stomach lining were turning inside out. Spots danced in front of her eyes as she threw up again and again. She felt hands on her shoulders, and she was cradled as the rain forest dipped and swirled around her.

  Another flash, and then the nausea swept away as fast as it had swept in. The world steadied. She raised her head. She was back in her garden. Her stomach felt empty. Her throat hurt. Gently, Daniel guided her to the bench again. “I’m okay.” She pushed him away. “I’m … What the hell was that?”

  “Just … breathe deep. I’ll get you … What do you need?”

  She looked at him. Her mouth tasted like sour peanut butter. Her hair clung to her sweaty forehead and cheeks. “I feel fine now. Completely fine. Gross, but fine.” She tried standing. She didn’t feel a bit dizzy or nauseated. Daniel hovered near her as if expecting her to collapse into his arms.

  “I’ll get you some water.” He raced into the house and then came out again with a glass of water. She sipped it, swished the water, and then spat on the flowers. She drank more water. Her stomach felt achy and empty but she didn’t feel at all queasy.

  She looked down at herself. Gooey bits clung to her shirt. “Got to clean myself.”

  “I’ll help you. You’re not well.”

  She looked at him. “We aren’t married. We’re not even dating. That’s definitely not in your job description. In fact, I’d rather you didn’t get up close and personal with the contents of my stomach. That’s just a little too close for me.” Alone, she headed for the house. She felt fine. After changing her shirt, she washed her face and neck with a towel. She then returned to the garden and picked up her pack again. “Okay, let’s go.”

  “Are you sure—”

  “I’m fine. Let’s go.”

  He held her hand, and again the flash— Nausea slammed into her once more and drove her to her knees. Her stomach heaved, and then they jumped back to the garden.

  She was fine.

  “Kayla … that’s not normal,” Daniel said.

  Grimly, Kayla nodded. She stalked to the garden gate and opened it. Taking a deep breath, she stepped outside. Nausea. Dizziness. She stumbled backward. She was fine.

  Daniel caught her arms. She sagged against him. “She did it,” Kayla said. “I didn’t think she could. Or would.” Pulling away from Daniel, Kayla prowled in front of the gate. She glared at it as if it were to blame. “She spelled it. Me. So I can’t leave.”

  “What are you talking about, Kayla?” Daniel asked. She could hear the worry in his voice, the tinge of fear. “Who did what?”

  “My mother,” Kayla said. “She’s trapped me here.”

  Chapter 17

  Kayla paced in a tight circle, feeling like a caged animal. They’d tried jumping elsewhere. They’d tried climbing over the hedges. They’d tried Daniel carrying her through the gate. Fail, fail, and fail. Whatever spell Moonbeam had done, it was intense.

  “It’s over,” Daniel said, sinking onto the bench.

  “It’s not over.” Honestly, if he said that one more time, she was going to have to gag him. “It’s just more complicated.”

  “I can’t do this without you.”

  Stopping, she glared at him. “Yes, you can, at least up until the last part. You’re going to go right now, do all the jumps except the last one, and then come back for me. By then, I’ll have found a way out.”

  He nodded slowly.

  “Just promise me that you’ll be careful. Pace yourself. Rest between jumps. Go home and sleep through the night if you have to. Remember, I won’t be there to drag you to safety if you collapse.” Crossing to him, Kayla put her hands on his shoulders so that he had to look at her. “This is serious. You have the common sense of a dim-witted lemming, and I don’t want you to plunge off a cliff and die.”

  A corner of his lips quirked up. “Hey, you do care.”

  She released him. “Moonbeam’s shift tomorrow is ten to six. Come back then. And watch out for my father. Especially if you’re near any rocks.”

  “He won’t surprise me this time,” Daniel promised.

  “If you do see him, then jump him somewhere he can’t leave. Like the tomb in Peru. And then we’ll deal with him together, okay?”

  “You don’t trust me?”

  “I don’t trust him.” She paused. “And no, I don’t trust you either. But at least I like you. I hate him.”

  He smiled, and it was like the sun appeared between the clouds. “You like me?”

  Kayla felt herself begin to blush, so she rolled her eyes and tossed her hair. “What are you, six years old? Yes, I like you. You’re intense. You love your mom. You have that neat teleportation trick going for you. Just because you’re a self-centered liar with a dubious ethical compass doesn’t mean you aren’t my type.”

  He blinked. “I’m not sure whether that was a compliment or not.”

  “Time is ticking, Daniel.” She tapped her wrist. “You need to make the jumps before my father finds the end of the third trail.” Kayla hesitated. She wanted to say more. No, she didn’t want to say anything; she wanted to do and see and run free! She wanted to take his hand, jump with him, and leave this home that had transformed into a cage. Sh
e wanted to see the rain forest again, even with the mosquitoes and the jaguars and the rain. She wanted to see all the places on the maps on the walls of Daniel’s room. Now that she’d tasted a piece of the world, she wanted all of it. Imagining not having it, Kayla felt her eyes heat up. “Just go, Daniel.”

  He vanished, and she gulped in air. She rubbed her eyes vigorously. She was not going to cry. Circling the property, Kayla searched for clues to the spell. She felt fine in the yard, so that meant the spell had to be tied to the perimeter in some way. She just had to figure out what was defining the border—in other words, she had to find her jail cell walls. And then break them.

  Her first guess was the protective stones. Years ago, Moonbeam had carted stones from the beach to their house and set up a circle of them just inside the bushes. She’d said a spell over them and refreshed the spell every solstice, saying melodious words as she walked counterclockwise with a candle and incense. Today was the first time she’d refreshed them with the basket of herbs. Maybe the new spell had given them an extra boost. Kayla took her trowel to the gate and dug several stones out of the earth. She tossed them aside, creating a break in the circle, and then she tried to walk through.

  Hands plastered over her mouth from the immediate wave of nausea, she stumbled back.

  Guess it isn’t the stones, she thought. Taking a deep breath of air to calm her stomach again, Kayla turned in a slow circle. What else could it be?

  The yard was ringed with an unbroken circle of bushes. Over the gate, the branches were woven into an arch. In the front of the house, they bowed out to avoid the electrical line coming in to the corner of the roof. The hedge was so thick that you couldn’t see the neighbors’ houses. Maybe the spell was linked to the plants.

  Fetching the pruners, Kayla attacked one of the bushes. She trimmed branch after branch, carving an ugly hole in its center. With her hands, she ripped at the leaves. They fell at her feet, carnage from the slaughter, until she had made a break in the wall of green. She then pulled over the bench and stood on it in order to destroy the tops of the bushes. She didn’t stop until she’d made a gap as wide as a person.

 

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