by Jenny Wood
Me: I think my brain just exploded.
We’d briefly text yesterday, but neither of us mentioned getting lunch, so we stuck strictly to texting. I told him about my classes and how grateful I was for a day break in between days so I could do something I was actually interested in doing, which was working at the shelter. It was proving to be a really good experience and the kids who wandered in from every which way, were really nice, though extremely untrusting just yet. I’d win them over though, of that, I had no doubt.
Joker: Was it messy? Are there head guts everywhere?
What a disgusting visual.
Me: Okay, metaphorically, my brain just exploded. Literally, I’ve got a headache now. I’m not meant to be smart and know smart things.
Joker: Sure you are, smart guys are sexy.
Me: You know what other kinds of guys are sexy?
Me: Tattoo artists
Joker: Which one? Kayson or Kingsley. I think they’re both taken :/
He was hilarious in text…at least, he thought so.
Me: You’re impossible.
Joker: HaHa
Joker was the least likely person in the world to actually laugh out loud, especially like a “haha” or a “LOL” implied. Every time he sent it, I read it in my head with the most monotone, unfunny laugh, which made me laugh every time. Still, it was cute to see him lower his barriers and be able to tease and laugh with me, no matter how monotone and straight face it actually was.
Last night, when he’d actually typed “LOL”, I replied with an “LQTM, ” and he called to ask me what it meant. When I replied, “laughing quietly to myself,” he surprise-barked out a laugh so loud for so long, I actually hurried to try to find my recording app to see if I could record it. I didn’t have one, so instead, I just enjoyed it. For the following hour, we asked each other about our favorites: colors, movies, music, songs, cars, hobbies. Nothing was off limits. His past was heartbreaking, and he didn’t elaborate a lot about when he was in jail, but I also didn’t push. I found that brought up things on his own and it seemed to help him open up more to talk about things on his own time. I wondered if he’d ever talked to anyone about it before. I didn’t ask.
This was how we got to know each other over the next few days. Although school was kicking my ass and working at the shelter left me with little free time; I tried to balance everything as best I could. By Thursday, I was ready for the weekend.
“Jase, when you get a second, I need you in the computer lab, please.” Shelly, the owner of the shelter, said as she peeped her head into the kitchen where I was looking at the dishwasher that wasn’t working. She was gone before I could answer but I felt like everything that could go wrong, was going wrong today, so I needed to brace myself for whatever it was that she needed to see me about. I overslept this morning causing me to get a speeding ticket on the highway; minutes after that, a piece of gravel flew out of the bed of a dump truck and put a small crack in my windshield. Now, small crack or not, knowing it was there was driving me insane. Once I got here, there was a list of things needing to be done, like lightbulbs being burnt out and this here dishwasher being a dick.
To top that all off, I hadn’t gotten to see Joker in days and even though we’d been talking on the phone, every single night; I really wanted to see him. Placing the “Out of Service” sign back on the dishwasher, I washed my hands and made my way to the computer lab. Maybe tomorrow.
Joker
Jase: This day has been complete shit. Is it Friday, yet?
I smile down at my phone at the third text I’d gotten from Jase today. I felt bad for him; he’d had a long week. I hadn’t gotten to see him since the weekend, but we spent hours on the phone each night before he crashed out from either too much homework or a long shift at the shelter. I felt like I was in high-school.
“Is someone smiling like that because of my baby brother?” Kingsley sidled up beside me, looking over my shoulder and down at my phone. I elbowed him back, but he was built like a wall; he didn’t budge.
“Go away,” I said but stepped away myself.
“Mmhmm, we know you got it bad for our boy.” Kingsley taunts, earning kissing noises from Kayson and a snicker or two from Conner. I give them all my best glare, but none of them seem too bothered by it. I must be losing my touch.
“Oh, lighten up, would ya?” Kayson says, not taking his eyes off the girls lower back he’s tattooing.
“We think it’s sweet,” Conner says from his chair in the front, by the door. I roll my eyes and try to keep the smirk off my face, but in all honesty, it feels good to know that these guys would trust me with their brother. Jody’s another story, but Kayson and Kingsley seem to be fine with it, and both of them know my past.
“Has my appointment called to cancel or something? He’s like a half an hour late.” I called over to Conner.
“Nope, it’s been quiet on the phones.” He tells me and picks up the receiver to make sure it’s still working. It is, I just must have a no-call, no-show; which sucks because with nothing to do I’m either, the victim of the guys’ hazing or I have too much time to think about Jase. Dangerous on both counts. Still, I pull out my phone and answer his text.
Me: Only one more day. You got plans tomorrow?
I ask, hoping that I can talk him into doing something for part of the day with me. To be honest, even though we’ve talked on the phone for several hours, every night this week; I felt like I needed a little time before I could see him again. Not only was the shower scene on loop in my brain from sun up to sun down; but, I was kind of embarrassed at the way things went just before that. I knew that telling him about my past was going to be hard, but never did I think he would react like he did and I sure as fuck never imagined I would react the way I did. I was embarrassed and not used to people seeing be vulnerable at all. Now though, after hearing his sweet voice on the phone every night and again, that shower scene on replay in my mind, I wanted to see him again. I felt like I needed to see him again.
Jase: I want to have lunch with you. :-/
I smiled, wondering if at this point it was a euphemism or if he really just wanted to have lunch with me. Either way, I liked it.
Me: Good. Lunch it is, then.
I typed back. I waited around for another half an hour and called it a day. My appointment never showed up, and I didn’t have anything else on the books for tonight.
“You heading out, Joke?” Kayson asked as I was cleaning up my station and putting all my shit away for the night.
“Might as well, my dude didn’t show up,” I tell him.
“You wanna meet us tonight for a beer?” Kayson asked, standing behind Conner with his arms around his waist. Before, when they’d ask me, I’d always say no. I thought I was content with keeping myself to myself because it was my coping strategy for the last almost seven years. Now, especially since Jase, I find myself wanting to get out a little bit and see what all I’ve been missing.
“Yeah, alright.” I agree and notice the surprised smile on Kingsley’s face. They’ve all invited me out, more than once, I’m sure he wasn’t expecting me to take him up on it this time.
“Awesome!” He loudly replies. “Just come by our house then… have a couple of drinks, and then you can see your boy when he gets home.”
“Jody gonna be there?” I ask, raising a brow at his chuckle.
“He does live there.” Kayson teases.
“We won’t let him kill ya.” Kingsley taunts as well.
“Have you guy’s um, told him about me, yet?” I ask nervously, wondering if that’s the reason he doesn’t want me hanging around Jase. It would be a valid concern, especially to a parent type. It would definitely make sense. They both look at me, confused for a second.
“No!” Kingsley says, sounding rather offended.
“I haven’t either. It’s not our business to tell, man.” Kayson says.
“I’m lost. What are we talking about?” Conner chimes in, genuinely confused.
<
br /> “Nothin’, baby,” Kayson says, dropping a kiss to his neck before letting him go and heading back to his own workstation to clean up. His last client took a good three hours, so once he was done, he was done for the night. He’d put in another four hours before that and another two before that. He and Kingsley were always here; it seemed like.
“I’ve gotta clean up, and then I’ll be out of here. King’s gonna sweep and mop and he’ll be done; you want to just meet us at the house in an hour?” Kayson asks, not giving me a chance to back out, now that I’ve accepted. I nod in agreement and head towards my car.
I don’t text Jase that I’m coming over because I don’t know when he’ll be home and there’s a chance I could leave before he gets there. I’m not holding out hopes for a welcoming Jody, and I won’t stick around if he’s uncomfortable or doesn’t want me there.
I hit a drive-thru on my way home and order a couple of cheeseburgers and a large fry. I’ll run a bit longer in the morning for it, but, I don’t care. It’s been so long since I’ve had a real, home cooked meal, I can’t even remember the last time. My mom and sister neither one were very domestic, and we never had money for anything fancy, and prison food was worse than shit. I eat before I make it home and run in to take a shower; something about the smell of sanitation stinks when you’re around people who smell normal.
I plug my phone in and leave it lying on my bedside table. Nobody ever texts me, but the guys and Jase and the other people who call are my PO and occasionally someone trying to sell me something. No need to take it with me. I dress in my usual t-shirt and jeans and mess up my hair just right. I won’t lie and say that I don’t like the way Jase’s eyes move over my face and hair when he looks at me; like he’s checking everything out and liking what he sees. I like that I can read it all over his face when he does.
The guys live a few minutes out of town in a big ass ranch house that sits on quite a bit of land. It’s a beautiful country home and something I’d never in my life be able to afford. It’s huge, with rooms for just about everyone. Pulling up the gravel driveway, I notice that there are five vehicles in the driveway. One is Kingsley’s truck; I see Connor’s car, Morgan’s car, Cameron’s car and one that I’ve not seen before. I pull off to the side as to not block anyone in and I can hear music from inside as I walk up. Kingsley can be seen through the front door glass, and he looks to be telling a story with everyone gathered around. Hard telling what it’s about. I knock and wait.
I see Jase walk towards the door and he must see me because he gets the widest most amazing smile when he notices.
“You’re here.” He grins and walks right up to me. We’re chest to chest and ridiculously close. “You hungry? I cooked.” He says, staring at my lips.
“You wanna have dinner with me?” I tease. His eyes are something else way up close; it’s like you can feel their happy. He leaves his eyes open as he leans closer and presses his lips to mine. He doesn’t move them, he just smiles. It should be awkward; it’s not. It’s fucking adorable because it’s a very Jase thing to do.
“I wanna have dinner with you.” He whispers and then backs up, just slightly.
“You gonna let the man in or is he to eat on the front porch?” Jody growls from behind Jase. I didn’t even see him in there; I wonder how long he’d been there.
“Stop growling,” Jase says as he takes my hand and pulls me inside.
“You made it!” Conner says, smiling like a lunatic at Jase dragging me into the room. Everyone else says their hello’s and acts as if I didn’t just see them all an hour ago.
“Come to the kitchen with me; we’ll get you a drink.” He turns his back to the room to wink at me. I like this flirty Jase; I like it a lot.
“I thought you were having a shitty day?” I ask, remembering the texts he sent me earlier.
“It just got a whole lot better.” He snickered.
“Oh yeah?” I grinned back at him, his good mood is so infectious.
“I also got promoted today, Shelly and Mark asked me to tutor the high school kids.” His eyes were wide as he handed me a beer.
“That’s great, is that something you wanted to do?” I ask, knowing that helping kids was his goal, but I didn’t know if teaching was. He walked over to the boiling pot of potatoes on the stove and turned them down, then opened a can of green beans and put them on; talking while he worked.
“These kids, they’re smart kids.” He says, “It breaks my heart that the majority of them are runaways. This kid, Thad, his dad’s a preacher. Found him holding hands with a boy in middle school. Middle school.” He reiterated, “He was twelve years old when he ran away, his dad threatened to send him to a conversion camp. They still have shit like that, can you believe that?” I couldn’t imagine.
“The shelter works on reuniting kids with their families through social workers and shit, but this kid says no matter how many times they try to send him back, he’ll run away every time. Would you even believe that his family didn’t even file a missing person’s when he ran away? They just let him go!”
“So what can they do to help?” I ask, not sure how the shelter works as far as laws and things go.
“He’s going to get his GED. He needs help, he dropped out of middle school and hadn't had a lick of education since. He’s going to need a lot of preparations before testing; it’ll be a hard road for him, he’s only fifteen. But I want to help him.” He stops what he’s doing and looks at me. “I wanna help all of them and if this is the way I can, right now; then that’s what I wanna do.” I walk around the counter and pull him to me.
“That’s amazing.” I kiss him, swiftly and watch as his face takes over another gorgeous smile.
“You think so?” He asks, cocking his head to one side and watches me.
“I do,” I tell him honestly and step back to let him go. His face turns pink as he looks away for a second before getting back to his dinner. “Meatloaf?” I ask, thinking that it smells amazing if that’s what it is.
“Yep.” He almost chirps.
“Smells good,” I comment. I had just been thinking about home cooked meals; I wish I hadn’t eaten yet.
“Well, there’s plenty, I hope you have some.” He looks at me pointedly. I smile, of course, I’ll eat some. Not only because it smells amazing but because he wants me to and I think, right now, there isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do if he asked.
“Go on and commune with the fellas, I’m gonna mash these potatoes and then everything should be about ready.” He tries to shoo me from the kitchen.
“You don’t need any help?” I offer, but he shoos me again.
“Nope, I got it all about done. Go ahead; I’ll be in there in just a few minutes.” He winks and pops a thin pan of dinner rolls into the oven and goes to plug up the mixer. I leave him to it.
The guys are a rowdy bunch, especially when after work beers are involved. Jody is keeping his sneer in check when I walk into the living room, but I have a feeling it’s because Cameron is there to make him play nice. The rest of the guys are laughing loudly, gossiping and just ribbing each other like they always do.
“My arms are bigger around than yours; I’m all muscle, baby.” Kingsley poses and flexes, showing Kayson that his arms are indeed massive.
“You may have more definition, but mine is hands down, bigger around. I’m solid.” He flexes, just as Kingsley is. They look ridiculous.
“I bet I could crush an apple with mine.” Kingsley gloats. “Conner do you have any apples?”
“Not for ruining, no. For eating, yes.” He rolls his eyes, used to this pissing match by the looks of it.
“Jody, who do you think would win in an arm wrestling match, me or King?” Kayson asks seriously.
“You guys are children, both of you.” Morgan laughs.
“We know you are.” They taunt in unison; I can’t help but laugh. It’s the most ridiculous display of immaturity between two grown men.
“Do you we have a measurey
thing? Like tailors use?” Kayson asks the room. Nobody offers him any help.
“Alright, dining room table, we’re going to settle this,” Kingsley demands, we all follow him into the room.
“What are you guys doing? I’m setting the ta- HEY!” Jase yells, running around the table to collect the plates that are being scooted out of the way, “Do you mind, you apes? I’m getting dinner on the table!” He tries again, but it falls on deaf ears.
“What are they doing?” Jase asks, flabbergasted by the goings on of these idiots; everyone else is just laughing.
“Man stuff, ROOOAR,” Kingsley yells.
“Did he just roar?” Cameron asks
“Hell yea he did, and it was hot,” Morgan comments, Jase snorts.
“This is barbaric.” He says, but nobody’s listening.
“Okay fella’s, place your bets here! I’ve got ten on King, who’s in?” Conner starts the bidding.
“Baby, seriously?” Kayson gasps. “Bettin’ against your man?” He shakes his head, and they get into position while the rest of the guys place their bets. Jase and I stay out of it, but it’s comical as all hell.
About six minutes of grunting, cursing and sweating; Morgan declares it a draw. The minute that one would gain some leeway, the other would come back with a vengeance. It was funny, but I had a feeling things would get out of hand if someone didn’t put a stop to it sooner rather than later. By the time it was over, everyone had laughed it off, and Kingsley promised that after dinner, they’d find the “measury thing.”
Jase
Dinner had been a hit. Even Joker, who’d said he’d eaten on his way home from work tonight, had seconds. Seeing Joker laughing and having a good time was hands down the best part of my day. Seeing him with my family? That was a pretty close second. Even Jody hung up his gloves and had a good time with everyone. It was crazy how quickly he was becoming someone important to me; I worried if I was getting in over my head here. We’d hardly spent that much time together, and I was already enjoying the hell out of seeing him with all of my people. All the people who meant the most to me were in this house, and I hoped I wasn’t setting myself up for disappointment by adding Joker to that list. I know we still had a lot of getting to know each other to do, but, man, I couldn’t help but see myself wanting more with him.
